The rules of attraction
by KayEff
Summary: AU. Womanizer team Naomi and Cook spend most of their time perfecting their game of seduction. Until the day a feisty redhead enters their world and spins it out of control. Are they willing to change their habits for something unexpected?
1. Business as usual & Puzzles

**AN: Hi there! **

**First off, thank you for having a look at my little story. Hopefully one or two of you will like it.**

**Huge thanks to Fitcherella for talking me into this.**

**The title is a nod to Bret Easton Ellis. The stories have nothing in common, though. If I had that kind of talent, I wouldn't be nervous about posting this.**

**Disclaimer: DON'T make this a drinking game by taking a shot every time there's a How I met your mother reference, unless you like alcohol poisoning. In other news, I don't own Skins.**

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**One ****– ****business as usual**

"Same procedure as last night?"

"Same procedure as every night, Naomikins!"

I knocked back the shot Cook had brought over, winced at the burn in my throat and took a deep breath. Operation redhead at the counter is a go.

Making my way over in her general direction I made sure I wasn't walking straight towards her, so she wouldn't notice my approach out of the corner of her eye, and kept my eyes trained on Carl the barman who had witnessed Cook and mine shenanigans often enough to basically be the third member of our invincible team.

I stopped at the bar stool right next to hers making our sudden proximity seem coincidental.

"Hey Carl, two beers -"

"You'll wanna make that one, save the money." A husky voice to my right interrupted. "Because I'm sure as hell not gonna fall for one of your routines."

Dumbfounded by the boldness, I turned around to look at my target for the first time. Cook had checked her out when he got the shots and held up nine fingers as he was walking towards me indicating his rating for her looks.

At first sight, I'd agree with Cook's assessment. Definitely a nine. With potential for more if she lost the sceptical expression and conservative clothing. Hell, I'd even help her with the latter.

"Routines?" So it seems my stupid brain decided playing clueless was a smart idea. Must be the shots talking.

The redhead scoffed. "I'll make this easier for both of us and be honest with you: "I know."

"Know what?" Eloquent, Naomi. Smart, funny, all the things the ladies dig.

"Let's not pretend your friend over there…" she pointed at a spot behind me where Cook must be sitting, "didn't just come up to the counter to check me out so you'd be sure not to waste your precious time on a five when you accidentally" Air quotes. She made air quotes. "bump into my back and start chatting me up."

By now, I'd gathered a bit of my wits back. "Ok, say that's true. What would an expert – you apparently are one – suggest I do now?" That was the cleverest I could come up with. Not my brightest moment.

"I was actually looking forward to seeing that for myself." She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I'd probably try to talk to you anyway. Innocently, you know. Sneak my way into your good books." I made a snake-movement with my hand. Who the fuck does that?

"Interesting. But you're not gonna succeed."

"See? You're already interested!" I exclaimed with exaggerated enthusiasm she chuckled at. "Aaand I made you laugh. Already halfway there. What makes you so sure you can resist this?" Cockiness. Fool proof.

"Remind me to take a cab when I leave, if I'm drunk enough to talk to you I can't possibly be ok to drive." Her smile told me she was more than ok talking with me. "And don't get your hopes up, I'm not gay."

"Neither is my friend. And our apartment is right upstairs." I playfully wiggled my eyebrows while pointing towards the ceiling.

Sometimes the goofy approach was a good last resort, this time though; something told me there was more to this girl than she let on. Admittedly, she was most likely serious. I wouldn't end up in bed with her tonight. And neither would Cook. Ruling out both possibilities this early-on was definitely a first.

"You can't seriously think that I'd–" Indignation written all over her face and body.

"Calm down, I'm kidding." I placed my hand on her forearm leaning on the countertop to reassure her. But something made me instantly break the contact and put up my arms in mock surrender.

"Truce, ok? I won't try anything."

"Fair enough. But the first sign of bullshit and I'm out. Deal?" Fierce. I've always had a soft spot for the fierce ones.

"Deal."

"If I hadn't interrupted you, what would you have done?"

"I can't tell you. Rule number ten."

"You got rules? How old-fashioned is that?" She seemed genuinely incredulous at my admission, scrunching up her face considering whether or not I was joking about the rules.

I never joke about the rules. And no, not because there's a no-kidding-about-the-rules-rule. "Maybe a drink will loosen your tongue. Carl, was it? Let's have those beers."

The barman had been standing within earshot polishing glasses pretending not to listen in on us. Bullshit. Carl never polishes glasses. Judging by the record time in which the two bottles were placed in front of us, he couldn't possibly have been as absent-minded as he appeared. Suspicion confirmed.

That was the first time I let a girl buy me a drink.

Either the late hour or my drunken brain is to blame for me suggesting toasting "To new experiences!"

Because meeting this girl (I hadn't even asked her name. How could I not know her name yet? Rookie mistake) was definitely a new experience. I decided to rectify my lack of knowledge immediately.

"I'm Naomi by the way."

"Hi Naomi. I'd say nice to meet you, but…"

"And your name is?"

"A secret."

"Hi A secret! The A stand's for Angela?"

"Really? Dad jokes? Tell you what, if I tell you my name now you'll have forgotten it in ten minutes. So I won't."

"You don't want me to forget your name? Definitely interested." I made sure to let my tone of voice show I wasn't serious. This girl simply seemed fun to be with. Straight or not.

"It's too awesome to be forgotten as a random bar flirt. A failed one, I might add."

"Hey! Forgot about the truce?"

We continued to talk without any flirting for the duration of two more beers when Carl's voice startled me as it droned through the entire bar "LAST CALL!"

"You know, I actually do live above this bar." I broke the silence we'd fallen into from the animated conversation we'd had.

"And I'm drunk enough to come with you. No shenanigans though, right?" She slurred the word shenanigans. It was cute. Nothing sexual. But it made me smile.

"You have my word of honour."

As we entered the living room, I offered her a beer which she refused telling me she needed to sober up. We sat down on the sofa with her glances roaming our surroundings.

"Tell me all about your games, the stuff you and your friend get up to." For some reason I trusted her enough to do just that. Rule number ten was out the window.

Knowing this was a long story I took a deep breath before I started.

"Don't ask me how Cook and I met. The night isn't long enough for that story. To try and cut it short: He tried to bang me, actually became kind of obsessed with the idea and we became mates in the process of me rejecting him on a daily basis. Finally, he accepted the fact that I don't do cock and mates became wingmen. Or wingwoman and wingman if that sits more comfortable with a little feminist like you."

"What makes you think I'm a little feminist?"

"You're like 5 feet!" I snorted. Her face told me she didn't share my amusement.

"Oh, you mean the feminist part? It's written all over you, the business suit, the attitude, your uncontained disdain for my 'games'," Since when did I use air quotes? "paired with a bit of admiration."

"So now I admire you for being a player?"

"Not necessarily. But you like it that a woman is the one in control, turning the cliché upside down. You just hate it that my targets are women as well. If I slept with men, you'd be ecstatic. And for the record: Only losers call themselves players."

"Noted. On with the story then." She leaned back on the sofa with the tea I'd made her instead of a beer.

"Cook and I, we always watch out for each other – whether it is about making sure the other got home safe after one too many shots or doesn't go home with a five. Which for the record is not a danger I deal with. You might hate me for saying this, but we can be picky. It's too easy. Textbook."

"Please tell me you don't have a textbook?"

"No" I laughed "Just the rules." I smiled at, trying to make her wonder whether or not there actually were rules.

"How do you decide who gets which victim? Or do you share?"

"First of all, they're not victims, we're way too awesome for that. And sharing might be Cook's ultimate fantasy but he'll have to fulfil that with someone other than me. No thanks.

After long and sometimes painful years of training with me, Cook now has a pretty accurate gaydar and therefore we can take turns on who checks out the sexual orientation of a girl before we decide who should approach her."

I took a sip of my beer to let that sink in.

"On the rare occasions that we were mistaken, though, we manage to successfully transfer their attention, so to speak."

"I don't believe you guys." She shook her head chuckling.

"Still here you are, on our couch, fully knowing that Cook is off with a girl he had to score on his own – which will get me a free ticket for a right bickering about neglecting rule number one at our breakfast debrief – listening to me tell you about the abysmal atrocities I get up to."

"Don't exaggerate." God, her smile was beautiful.

"Listen, everything we do is completely consensual and between adults. We don't drug girls or do anything with them when they're too off their face drunk. At least I don't, can't vouch for Cook when he's on the prey."

"Why is it important to you what I think?"

"Maybe for the same reason you are still here."

"I should leave." Her suddenly getting up startled me.

"You can't drive home now. You're too drunk."

"You think so?" Her raised eyebrows were challenging me as she stood at the opened front door.

"Pretty sure you said so yourself when we left the bar." Her smirk was a forewarning.

"Well, either your stories are really sobering or I made a deal with Carl to only give me nonalcoholic beer tonight." The self-satisfaction evident on her face, she extended her right arm and bend her elbow quickly to make her index finger land on the tip of her nose.

"You fooled me." I stated dumbfounded.

"Oh please tell me, how does that feel?" And the little minx was gone.

* * *

**Two ****– ****Puzzles  
**

I woke up exhausted the next day to an incessant banging on the door. I don't usually get hangovers, so it was a riddle to me why my head was feeling as if it had been run over by a bulldozer. Definitely in no state to attend to the cause of the knocking, I opted to ignore it, whoever that was would just have to go fuck themselves.

"Forgot my keys, so open the fookin' door already!" Cook bellowed loud enough to wake half the building so I reluctantly crawled out of bed to let him in.

"For fuck's sakes, it's too early for this bullshit."

"I'm so very happy to see ya too, Naomikins!" His bright smile betrayed the sarcasm in his tone. "And by the way, it's four p.m. and you know what that means."

"Debrief time" I sighed tiredly. Had I really slept that long? Then why was I so tired?

"DEBRIEF TIME!" he exclaimed too loudly and enthusiastically for my taste.

We sat down on the sofa, me wrapping myself in my duvet that I'd brought with me from my bedroom as Cook unpacked a full English breakfast he'd obviously gotten from our favourite diner that thankfully served breakfast until six.

"So, you're not mad at me about something to do with the number one?" I asked sheepishly while

rubbing my temple and digging into the toast and baked beans, the best cure for a hangover as Cook had assured me.

"How could I after the night I had? You're forgiven, Blondie." He slung his arm around me and patted my shoulder.

Cook proceeded to tell me about the "fit bird" he'd gone home with and how she was the shag of the year, even though it was still a bit early to tell. I didn't really pay much attention thanks to the heaviness in my head.

A heaviness that didn't go away for the entire next week up until the point where I found myself sitting with Cook in our usual spot at the usual time doing what we usually did on a Friday night.

Only moments after our arrival Carl had come over to our table and put an empty beer bottle before me. "Almost forgot, Naomi, you got mail."

"Cheers Carl, now you're too lazy to take out your trash on your own."

"Believe me or not, but judging by who told me to give this to you I wouldn't throw it away. It's not empty, you see."

Indeed, there was a small zip lock bag in the bottle that looked like it contained a note. It took me a moment until I suddenly had an idea of who the sender of this peculiar message might be.

"Did a tiny redhead give this to you? The one from last Saturday?" I asked Carl.

"Nope. Haven't seen her since. And I would have noticed someone this hot. I definitely wouldn't kick her out of bed." The barman announced while leaving our table.

"A message in a fookin' bottle? What kind of bullshit is this? And how are we supposed to get the bag out?" He shook the bottle to try and get the bag out but it always got stuck at the bottom of the bottle neck. Thankfully, whoever prepared the bottle seemed to have washed it out, otherwise Cook would have been soiling the tabletop with beer residue.

"Beats me. Business as usual?"

"Brunette with the grey dress that just walked in?" I strained my neck to get a better view of the entrance. "Looks like a case for the Cookie monster!"

"Have fun, Cookie!" I called after him as he was already approaching the counter.

5 minutes later my best mate came back to the table with wet hair reeking of rum.

"What went wrong?" I threw away a slice of lime that had been stuck to his forehead.

He sheepishly touched his neck. "Reckon I should have waited a minute before suggesting a threesome."

"What is it with you and threesomes?" I shook my head in disbelief of Cook's bluntness. To be fair, it did work in his favour more often than you'd think.

While Cook headed back to the flat to freshen up and change his shirt at my insistence quoting of rule number two, I found myself absent-mindedly playing with the label of the mysterious beer bottle when it suddenly hit me. I went up to the bar and asked Carl if by any chance he had a balloon somewhere.

"Because I'm always prepared for an impromptu 5th-birthday-party?" he scoffed. "The closest we got are the condoms from the vending machine in the men's loo."

"Damn it. By the way, you better make sure there are condoms available for women as well by next week if you don't wanna lose my good business."

"You mean your snatching away the hottest girls before they can actually be good for business. Aye aye, misses!" Carl mock saluted.

Just after I arrived at our table, Cook came back as well.

"Ah good, there you are. Cook, I need condoms."

"Missed me that much, Blondie? Actually, I just ran out. But you and I can just go back upstairs. Got some there. And a bed to do the deed on." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Not even if I had a gun pointed to my head. Look, just go to the loo and buy one, will you?" Thankfully, he did so without asking any further questions.

"The lengths I go to out of curiosity" I muttered to myself as I unwrapped the condom and carefully lowered everything but the opening into the bottle. Then I tilted the bottle and inflated it, thereby trapping the bag and carefully inching it out of the bottle.

"Fookin' brilliant, Naomikins!" Cook exclaimed once I had freed the bag. "I'ma get us some shots to celebrate!"

"And take this with you!" I pointed at the now empty bottle.

My first impression had been right. The bag did contain a note. Only it wasn't a usual one. Not a squared piece of paper with more or less legible words on it.

It was a very slim, long slip of paper, carefully folded together with single capital letters and some numbers on it. Do I look like someone who likes to play code breaker? My name's not Turing, for fuck's sake.

"So what's the secret message?" Cook asked as he returned with a tray full of shot glasses, half of which were filled with a clear liquid, the other with an amber liquid.

"Damned if I know. " I held the paper up. "And I get all the vodka, no way will you get me near tequila again anytime soon."

"As you wish, princess." Cook threw back the first shot urging me with his eyes to do the same. Reluctantly, I folded the paper back together and stored it in my wallet having an inkling that this is worth figuring out.

We knocked back the rest of the shots quite quickly and decided a change of scenery would do us some good, so we headed for a club, heading straight for the bar upon arrival – the walk in the cold air thankfully had sobered us up quite a bit.

Out of nowhere Cook asked "Naomikins, you still got that note?"

"Sure. What of it?"

"Ya know, I had a thought."

"Must be a first."

"Spare me the sarcasm, Blondie, I just might solve ya lil' puzzle." he warned me in a halfway strict tone which is all Cook ever managed when drunk. "In elementary, we had this mate, you know wicked smart when it came to maths and shit, but a total mong with the ladies."

"Wow, ten-year-old Cookie wasn't above hanging with nerds?"

"Nah man, JJ was a top guy, ya know. Plus, he was no competition for the Cookie monster."

"You're hopeless."

"Shut up, ya love it! Anyways, he used to send us messages that would look like what you got there. And we'd have to wrap them around a pen and then the letters would line up but if a teacher found them they wouldn't know how to read them."

"Damn it, Cook, you're a genius! When you're not busy being a bloody idiot, that is." I took the note out of my wallet and started to wrap it around my beer bottle. But the letters didn't really line up. "I'm afraid your mate didn't come through for us this time."

He shrugged "It was worth a try. Back to business." Cook rubbed his hands together and gave me a smile that told me tonight there'd be no more distractions besides those of a female variety.

We played _Have you met James?_ for a bit (the name Cook had a bit too much of a reputation on our home turf) and quickly found him an eight that would be sufficient for the night. Plus, she had a friend – another eight, and I'd bet anything Cook was already fantasising about scoring a sixteen tonight before she started showing obvious interest in me. Two birds, one stone.

After talking to them a bit more, Cook pulled his standard move of yawning dramatically and announcing it was time for bed. His eight instantly suggested she'd accompany him there. Cook's right, girls do like stupid. At least some did.

"Actually, how about you and I follow their example." Her friend whispered in my ear. And by whisper I mean speak at regular volume trying and failing to be subtle. Not that it mattered.

"Amy, was it?" That was why Cook and I avoided using names. Too much danger of a fuck-up.

"Ashley."

"Right, Ashley, I don't really feel like company. So how about you join these two?" I pointed at Cook and his conquest.

"Happy birthday, never think I'd forget. You got the flat to yourself 'til three." I whispered – and I mean an actual whisper – in Cook's ear before I left the club and called a cab to my Mum's place where I was always welcome no matter the hour and still had a key, not that I ever needed it. The bloody hippie didn't believe in locked doors.

The next day I made as much noise as possible before I opened my own front door at four p.m. having chosen to give Cook an extra hour to make the place somewhat presentable and chick-free again.

"Honey, I'm home!" was our trademark running gag as I entered the flat to see my best mate lounging on the sofa in nothing but a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms. That was a step up from the sight I had been greeted with on the first of his birthdays I spent living with him.

Turns out, Cook had made a habit of spending his birthdays in his birthday suit. I'd managed to talk him into wearing pants with the promise of a cake. That was the first and last time I'd convinced someone to put on pants instead of taking them off.

"Mum says happy birthday by the way. She's also the one responsible for this." I placed the cake tray in front of him. "It's your favourite. Double chocolate chip cookie for the cookie monster."

"Fookin' top, man!"

"Wanna know what your gift is this year? I'll clean this mess of a place up and won't complain about what a prick you are for leaving it like that." Normally, we had a very strict clean-up-your-own-mess-agreement I had enforced two days after we'd started living together but I figured since it was his special day, I'd make an exception.

"Just what I wished for." He smiled his trademark grin.

"Mind if I start cleaning while you tell me about how the other part of your gift turned out? This place reeks!"

"Nah, ya're the best, Naomikins. Couldn't ask for a better bro."

"Cheers, Cookie!"

Halfway through collecting the empty bottles that were scattered around all available surfaces, I had an epiphany and stormed down to the bar not even bothering to tell Cook what I was up to.

"Carl, I need a bottle of non-alcoholic beer!" I yelled as soon as I'd opened the door, made a beeline for the bar and slammed a tenner on the countertop not waiting for change.

"Nice to see you, too." The barman commented as I left with my beer straight away.

Back at the flat, I put the bottle on the table before searching for the note in my wallet.

"Non-alcoholic? Ya must be shitting me! This is an abomination!"

"It's about the bottle, you thick tosser. They have a slightly different diameter than the regular ones. Maybe we were too quick to discard your mate's idea."

I wrapped the paper around the bottle and – ta-dah – the letters lined up to spell:

SUN3PME

"Where do we go from here?"

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**AN: If you're still there, I'd love to know whether you liked it or even if you hated it with a passion and now want your time back. So please review if you can be bothered to tell me if this is worth continuing.**


	2. Proposals & Testing the waters

**AN: Who's fucking awesome? The answer is you guys! I was overwhelmed by your feedback. Thank you so very much. In case I haven't replied to your review, you're either a guest or I overlooked you and am terribly sorry.**

**Every review/follow/favourite (seriously, some of you favourited this?) makes me ridiculously happy and motivates me to neglect Uni and write more.**

**It seems that I write rather short chapters, so it's usually going to be two per update. Just in case anyone's consued about the headlines.**

**I'm not a native english speaker, so sorry if that sucks. **

**So, yeah, shut up Kat and give us our update, right?**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Skins I wouldn't have to save up for my next tattoo.**

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**Three – Proposals**

"Seriously Cook, where? It just states the time. Well, if we ignore the E."

"If I were ya, I'd try the bar. Where else, right?"

"Of course. Am I getting thicker or did you actually grow a brain cell? Sounds like a plan."

Thus, I found myself walking down the stairs of our building on Sunday at three p.m. sharp. Being late is against my personal honour but I also didn't wanna seem too eager by arriving early.

I opened the door of the bar to see it completely empty of people except for Carl polishing glasses at the counter. No wonder at this time of day.

"You got mail!" He exclaimed with a bright smile as soon as he saw me enter the room.

"Repetition doesn't exactly make your lame joke funnier. And why does that make you so happy?"

"Since I'm nothing if not a gentleman, let's just say I'm getting a rather nice payment for delivering this." His grin grew even brighter as he pushed a small envelope towards me, the kind you would use for a gift card.

And it contained just that. A handmade one, stating it was good for a coffee and any baked good at the little café on the corner of our street where I usually got my morning caffeine fix.

Looking up at Carl I found him still grinning like a Cheshire cat. "You really opened the bar just for this?"

"Like I said, I was bribed quite generously. Damn, she was hot." He made a motion as if he'd slightly burned his fingers on a hot stovetop or something.

"What happened to your girlfriend?"

"Nothing much. She just decided not to fulfill that title anymore."

"Sorry to hear that, Carl."

"No worries. Things are looking up. And if I were you, I would get going." He pointed at the clock on the wall. I reckoned the gift card was meant for immediate use.

Her red hair was the first thing I saw, its bright colour visible through the window before I even entered the café and sat down next to her.

"I knew it was you!"

"Where there any doubts? I think you'll find this all but literally had my handwriting all over it."

"Well, you're not the first person to try and contact me via Carl. I do have to admit your message was up there with the more creative ones. What's the deal with the puzzles, though?"

"A small test. Can't have coffee with just everyone."

"You might have noticed I'm not everyone. What if I'd figured it out too late, though?"

"Then you wouldn't have been worth the effort. To be fair, I did have an inkling you'd be quick enough." She smirked over her cup of coffee.

"You so would have come back here next Sunday in hopes of seeing me! Don't even try to deny it."

"If that's what you need to tell yourself to sleep better at night." She countered nonchalantly.

"Enlighten me then, why am I here?"

"Bit of a big question for a conversation starter, don't you think? I think I'm gonna go with 42 just to be safe."

"You know what I mean. By the way, I still don't even know your name."

"You'll have to earn it."

"And how do you imagine I could do that?"

"I have a suggestion for you… It's the reason I came here in the first place..." Suddenly, her normally self-confident behaviour made way for some insecure fumbling with her hands.

"Do go on." I filled the silence her had hesitation left us in.

"I was wondering… if maybe… you'd let me watch?" she finally stuttered.

Watch what? Surely not what I first thought of. It couldn't be…

"I mean, from afar. You wouldn't even know I was there. And maybe we could talk about what you actually do." This piece of further explanation did not help.

"You want to watch?" My expression must have been incredulous.

"Yeah, like… at the bar. I want to know more about what it is you do."

"Oh, research, I take it? Writing for your little feminist blog or something?" It dawned on me.

"I don't have a blog!" She was quick to defend herself adding a barely audible "anymore." Her dorkiness was too cute right then so I switched to business mode as fast as I could.

"Since I can't very well prevent you from hanging around the bar whenever you like and following Cook and me around like the little stalker you secretly are, I guess this deal is mainly about you interviewing us about what we do?"

"It's not an interview. And it's just about you. I'm not interested in Cook."

"So you are interested in me. I knew it!"

"Look, if you're just here to take the piss, we might as well not even bother." She started to get up.

Think fast, Naomi, you don't want her to leave and never see her again, do you? My hand on her arm stopped her from actually going away.

"It's ok. We can do this." She let out a sigh of relief. "Under one condition." I couldn't help but enjoy this position of power for a second.

"There's always a catch." she sighed, "What is it?"

"No, I am a catch. You got that confused. You'd have to tell me your name.

If you agree, I suggest we meet at my place later for a few drinks and talk."

"Ok. We got a deal." She extended her hand and I shook it firmly sealing our pact, a bright smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye that told me there was no way I could fathom what a ride I was in for with her.

"So what's your name?"

"I never said I'd tell you immediately." She smirked. She'd fooled me. That's twice now.

Before I could even think of a remotely eloquent come-back, she pressed a kiss to my cheek and left the café with nothing more but a quick "See you around eight." over her shoulder.

I sent a quick text to Cook telling him I want him out of the house this evening.

It was exactly 30-seconds to eight – not like I was staring at the clock or anything – when she knocked on the door. I had bribed Cook with two tickets for the cinema (he'd be ok finding company on his own, Cook always did) but he hadn't left yet.

"Hi whatever your name is." I greeted our guest after opening the door. "Make yourself at home. Cook was just about to leave."

"Hey, I'm Cook, and y'are fit as fuck, little Red!" he waved at her from the mirror where he was fixing his hair. You know, that easy out-of-bed look that only took an hour.

She went up to Cook and shook his hand.

"Hi, I'm Emily." My jaw hit the floor, a cheeky wink from her, from Emily, telling me she hadn't missed it.

"Seriously, you make it that easy for him?" I recovered.

"Jealous much?" she smirked at me before returning her gaze in Cook's direction.

"Why is there a huge number two written on your mirror?"

"Can't tell ya. Rule number ten. Anyways, gotta run, just wanted to obey number four around you and say hello."

I smiled at Emily as soon as the door was closed behind my best mate. "Weird, normally he only quotes the hospitality-rule when it comes to banging tourists or first semester parties. And don't tell him I told you that. Do you want a beer?" I walked over to the fridge.

"Sure, why not?"

We sat down on the couch facing each other in semi-awkward silence.

"So, where do we start?"

"Tell me about the rules?"

"I can't. Seriously. I already told you too much."

"Not even if I asked really nicely?" she gave me her best puppy dog eyes, This girl knew exactly what weapons her brown irises contained. If she set her mind to it, I'm sure empires would fall.

I conceded "Well, I could tell you about how it all started."

"That's good enough for the beginning, I guess." She smiled like a child at the promise of being told their favourite tale. Gone was the fierce front she'd sported at our first meeting. For now.

So I told her the story.

_After the first night I had more accidentally than not helped Cook get his dick damp as he so eloquently put it, he'd showed up at my place for breakfast (at four p.m.) with arms full of grocery bags – even a fucking gateau – and the broadest smile on his goofy face. _

_He announced he had a gift for me "And I don't mean breakfast, Blondie, I mean, like a proper, life-altering commitment!" _

"_Please tell me you're not going to propose.__"_

"_Not yet." He winked as he patted his jeans pockets in search of something._

"_Please tell me the gift isn't in your pants, Cook! I thought we'd sorted this out."_

"_Don't ya worry your pretty little head, Naomikins, you'll love it! After it became clear that y'and I aren't gonna work out–"_

"_because I'm gay!" I interrupted. _

"_because you're gay. Which is a shame by the way–_

"_And you're repulsive."_

"_and I'm repulsive, I had this idea of how we can make the best of this situation. Ya feel this static in _

_the air? That's the potential we got. This…"_

_He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to his side "…We are pregnant!" He let go again to pull more and more questionable stuff out of his pockets as I bit back a comment about the ways of suicide I'd consider if I actually were carrying his child. Don't get me wrong, I love Cook, but Christ, his offspring will probably be born with his knob in his hands._

"_Ah, there it is!" he held up a crumpled piece of paper and unfolded it ceremoniously. "This is a proposal of sorts. Naomikins, will ya do me the __honour__ of being my wingman?" he smiled toothily as he went down on one knee and handed me the paper._

"_The rules of attraction? What the fuck is this?"_

"_Those are the rules. The ten commandments. The only guidelines y'and I will live by from now on." He __emphasised__ his statement by pointing from the paper first to me and then him. "I added some comments."_

_Indeed, there were ten short rules on the slip of paper which looked a bit worse for wear but still somewhat legible. Underneath each line there was a scrawl of Cook's unmistakable handwriting._

_I quickly skimmed the page, amused by both Cook's comments and what whoever wrote this had deemed worthy of being a rule._

"_And who is the author of this sacred scripture if I may ask?"_

"_A fooking legend." Cook exclaimed loudly._

"_You got no idea, right?"_

"_I know he was a fooking legend, is what I know! Got this from my uncle Keith, this is a fucking treasure. Been passed on for ages. They weren't allowed to write them down for a while. But my former bro made this for me so I wouldn't forget. Whattaya say Naomikins, you in?"_

_Don't ask me why I'm doing this. I exhaled deeply. "Ok, I'm in!"_

"_I gotta admit. There's an eleventh rule. You gotta seal the deal with a kiss." The fool had the audacity to purse his fucking lips._

_I opted for a firm punch on his upper arm. "In your dreams, tosser."_

"And the rest, as they say, is history."

* * *

**Four – Testing the waters**

Emily and I had agreed that she'd go out with Cook and me the next Friday.

On Monday, I had talked to Cook about what we'd planned and even though he wasn't too excited about the prospect of letting someone into our world, I'd explained to him that no secrets worth keeping would be revealed and I guess Emily's looks worked in her favour when he finally proclaimed "Fook it man, the more the merrier, right?"

We invited her to our apartment for a little briefing before we headed out.

"No bullshit, Red, you're on probation. And if you endanger the group, you're out, got me?"

"What a nice way to greet our guest, mister rule-number-four." I scolded Cook for practically yelling at Emily drill sergeant style the moment she'd walked in and I'd taken her coat. Suddenly, she looked even smaller than she already is wide eyes and all. I rubbed my hands up and down her shoulders a few times mouthing "Don't worry, I got you.", then put my arm around her waist and led her to the sofa.

After sitting down she seemed to relax a bit more.

"So, how do we go about this?" she asked, a bit of nervousness still evident in her voice.

"Seeing as you said you wanna mostly watch me, we decided we're gonna focus on me first tonight. Either Cook finds something in the process or he's hunting alone later."

"Something? These are people you're talking about, you know." She really must think we're nothing but a couple of pricks.

"With Cook, you can't always tell." I remarked earning me a scolding glance from Emily. "Ok, not funny. So either Cook is gonna find a nice, intelligent, independent lady with a great personality to marry that night while I talk to my soul mate– "

"Shut up. I'm not that old-fashioned!" she playfully hit my arm earning a loud "Ouch!" The girl packed quite a punch. "I'm holding you personally responsible if that becomes a bruise!"

She rubbed her hand over my arm in a soothing manner. "Better?" she smiled at me.

"We're out of vodka, Naomikins, so it's time for Tequiiiiiiiila!" Cook came back from the kitchen with a bottle and three shot glasses.

"I'm not going near that shit!"

"If you insist." He poured two glasses to the brim. "Looks like it's just you and me, Red."

Emily looked hesitant at first, then shrugged her shoulders and downed the glass, instantly wincing at the burn.

"By the way, sorry for being rude earlier. Don't send your big boyfriend to hunt me down, will ya? Wouldn't wanna have to hurt him."

"I got no boyfriend."

Cook winked at me in what he thought was a subtle way meaning Emily would have needed to be blind if she didn't notice. "Girlfriend? A bird like you must be taken."

I nearly spit out the sip of beer it'd just taken at Cook's indiscretion. "I already told you she's not gay!" I intervened as Emily smirked.

We continued to have a few more drinks and chat about our game plan for the night before we took a cab to a gay club. Not something we did very often but we felt like it.

Emily visibly stiffened as we arrived but tried to overplay it. Before we entered though, I used the moment when Cook was distracted by having to play sober in front of the bouncer and made sure to ask her if she was ok with this seeing as it was her first time at a gay club. She told me not to worry about her and watch out for myself. Cook suggested we split up for a bit to check out the place and in case someone got lucky, we'd see each other at the debrief that he casually invited Emily to as if it wasn't a big thing.

The next morning was rough. Not because I was hung over – my immunity to that thankfully had resurfaced as suddenly as it had vanished – but because I had made a huge mistake.

How could that happen to me of all people? Years and years of practice and I fall victim to such a rookie mistake.

Crazy eyes. The bitch had crazy eyes. I just hadn't seen that yesterday. Getting her out of the apartment was sure gonna be rough.

A loud "Honey, I'm home!" shook me from my thoughts of fleeing through my own bedroom window. Don't let him know I said that but thank whatever deity you like for James Cook. My knight in rusty amour. Only, this didn't sound like Cook.

"You got a girlfriend? I can't believe it!" Whatshername grabbed her clothes in record-speed and threw the door closed behind her.

I wrapped the duvet around me – I sleep naked, get over it – and went into the living room to find Emily looking like she'd seen a ghost.

"What are you doing here?"

"I… I… Cook told me to say that! I'm sorry, Naomi, I swear." The girl was shaking.

I put my arms around her and held her tight for a second, almost dropping the duvet in the process.

"Are you alright? Thank you so much, you were a real lifesaver right there."

"So you're not mad at me?" she asked sheepishly.

"Mad? How can I be mad if you just saved me from a potential stalker? And I guess Cook let you in on our little running gag." I smiled at her. "So, you guys had a good night? Did some bonding?"

"Yeah, he's actually really lovely under all that gross exterior, isn't he?"

"He's a big marshmallow, but don't tell him you know that. Anyway, how did you notice?"

"It was like, even though he was completely pissed and lusting after everything with tits, he always kept an eye on me."

"He hit on you?"

"Of course he did. But that's not what I mean; it felt like he was looking out for me."

"He can be very protective. Trust me, you'll learn to love him."

"Good morning, my lovely ladies!" Cook came out of his bedroom in nothing but his knickers.

"Put a shirt on." I pointed at his door.

"Putting a shirt on." He turned around and came back a second later half-dressed, immediately took a seat on the sofa right next to Emily. "I gotta tell ya, Emilio here is a top bro! With a bit of training, she might just be able to compete with ya!" he exclaimed while putting an arm around her which she instantly removed.

"Shower please?!" she demanded wrinkling her nose in disgust.

After Cook had left for the bathroom, the relaxed atmosphere suddenly dissipated making way for uncomfortable silence.

Emily cleared her throat. "Actually, there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

"This" she pointed at the door "can't happen again. I don't wanna help you get rid of one-night-stands. In fact, I don't wanna be involved at all."

"You've had enough already? I thought you and Cook had a good time." I asked incredulously.

"That's the point. We did. But I'm not here to have a good time with you or help you get laid."

"That's a shame. You could do that right now." I wiggled my eyebrows at her in a pitiful attempt at lightening the mood.

"Still not gay, Naomi. I just wanna observe. Nothing should change for you guys. That'd be counter-productive."

"This really is research for you, isn't it? I bet my mattress – which is very dear to me by the way, we've been through a lot – that you're writing about this."

"Sure, it'll be all over the news, two pricks pick up chicks." Emily chuckled, the tension gone.

"Sounds catchy, why not?"

That's when Cook came back from his shower.

"Hey, sit down, Emily has some rules of her own."

Cook laughed loudly "The little bird only came with us for one night and now she's trying to set up her own rules? Ya're funny, Red!"

"Not so much rules really. And this changes nothing for you guys." Emily defended herself. "I just don't wanna play any part in your games, ok?"

"That's a shame, Emilio, ya did a great job yesterday!" He sat down next to her with his arm around her shoulder mimicking his pose from earlier that day.

She hadn't, had she? For someone who acted like they were miles above what Cook and I did, she sure blended in quite quickly.

That changed the next week. Emily had texted me asking for the details of where Cook and I would be and told me she'd be there as well but didn't want us to come looking for her. Instead we were to simply do our thing as if nothing were amiss. Nothing was, she assured me.

So we did just that. Even though the club was packed, I found no one interesting for hours. Cook on the other hand went for a platinum blonde seven at the bar instantly and decided not to look for anything better.

"Careful, Cook, don't want you to pull a number six and get lazy on me."

"Nah, just for tonight. Whataya say, let's play _Good guy, bad girl_?"

"Christ, I feel like we haven't played that in ages. Let's go!" I high-fived his waiting hand.

The game hadn't lost its power in spite of its simplicity: I play an arrogant asshole and Cook rescues misses seven from my unwanted advances. Worked like a charm.

Now I only had to find someone for myself. I danced/stumbled/pushed my way through the entire club once more scanning the crowd. But nothing. Nothing. This never happened to me. I sighed in defeat trying to figure out what to do next when someone tapped my shoulder. Must be Emily.

"Looking for someone?" I was greeted by a tall brunette with a cheeky smirk on her face. She was beautiful. Why hadn't I seen her before?

"Not anymore." I looked her up and down, not making a secret out of the fact that I liked what I saw, Long legs, short skirt, nice tits, tan skin.

We talked for a bit but I don't remember much of what she told me. Just that she was from Colombia. I nicknamed her Nice Colombian Tits in my head.

"Listen, do you wanna keep up the pretense that talking in a noisy club is what we came here for or come back to my place?" she suggested as soon as I had finished my drink. A bit forward, but fuck it. She was hot. Why not?

* * *

**So, how was that? If you wanna (continue to) make me very happy, you know what to do...**

**Thanks so much for taking the time to read this!**


	3. Friendship & A galaxy far, far away

**AN: Hi there! Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews/follows/favourites. Seriously, you guys are the best. **

**This one is going to be a bit shorter but I hope you'll like it nontheless. To those of you who liked the Nookie friendship: There's lots more of that where it came from. Which would be my mind. So prepare for that.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Skins or Himym I wouldn't worry about Uni. **

* * *

**Five – Friendship**

"Honey, I'm home!" I arrived back at the flat with a bright smile on my face.

"Someone's in a good mood!" my best mate greeted me from the couch.

"Had a pretty spectacular night."

"A pretty spectacular fook, ya mean." Cook winked suggestively and held up his hand.

"Among other things." I walked over and high-fived him.

"You guys are disgusting!" Came a husky voice from the kitchen.

"Hi Emily, didn't know you were here today." I tried to cover my surprise.

"Anyway, if ya guys are through with the introductions, give me the dirty details on NCT!" Cook patted his thighs in anticipation.

"Do I wanna know what that stands for?" Emily asked as she sat down on the couch, teacup in hand.

"You don't!" I said just as Cook exclaimed "Nice Colombian Tits!" leaving me shaking my head. And he didn't stop at that.

"Ya better get used to the way we speak, little Red, ya're our friend now, after all!" We put his arm around her. Was this his new trademark position?

Emily removed his arm quickly and stood up. "I'm not your friend! And most importantly I don't wanna be your friend. I'm just an observer or have you fucked out your brain and forgotten?" she snapped at him furiously.

"Oi, Red! Slow down! Only Naomikins gets to talk to me that way." An angry Cook is a rare and scary sight.

"Whatever. I'm not sure I wanna talk to you at all!" she grabbed her jacket and went straight out the door.

"Fucking tosser!" I growled at Cook before running after her.

I sprinted down the stairs, hoping I'd make it in time since Emily had taken the lift down. I didn't know where she lived or worked. Christ, I didn't even know what she did for a living. Or her fucking last name. So if she escaped now, there'd be no way to get a hold of her if she chose to ignore her phone.

The last set of stairs made me stumble, almost resulting in me face-planting on the floor, but luckily the way from the lift to the front door crossed mine. Thus, instead of cushioning the fall with my nose, I had a small redhead do that job for me as I unwillingly tackled her from the side. Quick-wittedly, I put my arms around her and embraced her in a tight hug that would keep her from escaping.

"Let me go!" she growled at me.

"Not until you let me explain."

"No explanation needed. You're disgusting. I don't understand how I could surround myself with people like you!" Emily struggled to get out of my grasp. The girl is strong but I'm not too bad either. More leverage because of longer arms might have been the deciding factor why I was able to hold her in place.

"Looking at Cook, I sometimes wonder the same for me." She couldn't help but chuckle at that. Already halfway there. "If I let go now, will you let me speak to you?"

"Ok." She reluctantly conceded.

"Promise?"

"Promise." She sighed in exasperation.

"There's a good girl." I couldn't help lightly patting her shoulder as I let go of her. "I suggest we go for a coffee to talk? My treat."

The café was almost empty of customers. We sat down at my favourite spot, an old but comfy settee in the corner that had a view of the plants outside and the business of the city behind them.

"This is my favourite spot." Emily sighed as she sank down in the cushions.

"You and I have more in common than you might think." I smiled at her. "Listen, Emily. Cook and I sometimes sound like we despise women but you absolutely have to, have to, have to know that we have our reasons for being the way we are. All I ask is that you accept that. And if you find you can't be around us, then talk to me first, ok? Don't just storm off.

Plus, we do treat people decently. We don't just hurt anyone for the hell of it. We make it clear what we want and that's it." Afraid that Emily was gonna run off again, I felt the urge to get all I needed to say out as fast as I could.

"Maybe I overreacted." she smiled at me sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"No worries. It's not like I don't get where you're coming from. So are you willing to stick with us for a bit? By the way, where were you yesterday?"

"I was at the club watching you. To be fair, NCT is appropriately named." She giggled.

"Oh, she was more than just a nice pair of tits. We had breakfast together, really nice girl!"

"What? You don't have a no-breakfast-rule?"

"Nope, we're free to let beautiful women cook for us anytime we want to." I leaned back and put my hands behind my head.

"If she was such a nice girl, you'll date her again, right?"

"Ha, you're funny. I don't do dates."

"Is that in the rules?"

"No, that's just me. Cook sometimes goes on dates when he's bored."

"But you'll see her again, won't you?"

"Nope. Been there, shagged that. She was nice to talk to but I don't need that."

"Don't you ever want more than that?"

"Why would I? That'd just mean I'd have to work for my fun."

"Hmm." She looked thoughtful. "I wouldn't be able to do that."

"You don't have to. That's less competition for us. Win-win."

"Speaking of competition, give me a number!"

"What? Forty-two?"

"No, I mean, like, rate me. You know, the way you and Cook rate girls."

"No way."

"Why not?"

"I don't see you that way."

"Like a girl? I am a girl, you know."

"I'm still not gonna do that. Cook and I don't rate each other either."

"So that's just something you do to anonymous strangers?"

"There she is again, the little know-it-all. Welcome back!"

Emily glanced at her watch. "Shit, is that the time? I'm sorry, I have to leave now. Train to my Mum's leaves in a bit."

"Will you be back by the 15th?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's Carl's birthday, so the bar's closed and we're having a barbecue on the roof with some friends."

She agreed to come to the party and I walked her to the station and waited with her, chatting until her train arrived. Time to say goodbye.

"And just so you know: You might not be there yet, but I'd love to consider you my friend one day."

I didn't quite know how to say goodbye, seeing as I normally greeted her by handing her a drink or with a small wave. I started to do just that – waving at someone who's standing right in front of you, what a dork – when Emily suddenly hugged me.

I held her close to me, inhaling the fruity smell of her hair and could barely resist the temptation of kissing the top of her head.

We let go of each other and she boarded the train, pulling a paper tissue out of her pocket and waving it out the window while laughing at her own cheesy joke.

I playfully flipped her off and muttered to myself "I'm gonna miss you, too."

* * *

**Six – A galaxy far, far away**

Flat cleaned, an entire week's work done – believe it or not, I do have to work for a living – and I had just finished reorganising my books. But time still refused to pass. I was looking forward to Carl's birthday like it was my own and even though I hate to admit it; a petite redhead might have to do with my exaggerated anticipation. This time, with any luck, she wouldn't just be watching me; she'd actually spend time with me. I'd be able to talk to her about something deeper than Cook and my conquests. We could really start getting to know each other.

"Ya know what's been almost three years?" Cook entered my room as per usual without bothering to knock first waving a box of Star Wars blu-rays at me.

"The trilogy." I smiled at him.

"Hell yeah. Ya got time for it in, say, fifteen minutes?"

"Sure. You're a fucking lifesaver."

"For making sure we don't neglect the trilogy for more than three years? No prob. I'ma sprint down and get us some wings, ok? See ya in a sec."

As I was left alone in my room again, I decided it was time to not only keep busy but proactively interrupt my nervous train of thought.

"I thought I was too old for this shit." I muttered as I opened the bottom drawer of my antique wooden dresser and retrieved a small metal box out of it. Though I'd never met its original owner and creator, it was in honour of him that I still used it for the same purpose he had made it for. If Cook knew I still had it, I'm pretty sure he'd kill me. Years ago, he'd banished all reminders of that time from his life. I removed some of its contents and then put the box back into my drawer covering it with some old tees just in case. Cook would never go snooping around my room but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

After preparing some snacks for our movie night, I didn't have to wait much longer for Cook to come back.

"Player ready?"

"Check." The star wars logo was already visible on the flat screen.

"Comfy pants?" he asked as he entered the flat.

"Check." I pointed at the tracksuit bottoms I always wore when it was just me and him and Star wars.

"Snacks in bowls like we're a bunch of sophisticated folks?"

"Check." There were Nachos, cheese and salsa dips as well as a variety of crisps on the table. In bowls, because Cook is the only savage living in this flat. Call me uptight but growing up with my hippie of a Mum made me appreciate this kind of stuff.

"And if my eyes don't deceive me there's a little something extra to chillax our minds."

"Your eyes are just fine. And don't you ever say chillax again. We're not twelve anymore."

"Secret stash?"

"Secret stash." I nodded.

"Fookin top, Naomikins." He plopped down on the sofa and lit up the spliff I'd positioned on the table next to the snacks putting it between his lips and gave me his brightest smile as I started the film.

"Remember when we watched this on that old tube TV set at Gina's?"

"Well, technically ours, too. At least the attic."

"Fook me, that was a long time ago."

"In a galaxy far, far away." I chuckled.

"Ya didn't just go there! No more spliff for Naomikins!" He snatched the last bit away from my fingers just as I was about to put it to my lips.

"Give it back, tosser!" I jumped in his lap and wrestled him for the rest of the spliff. It was nothing sexual, but I loved being physically close to Cook and fooling around like that. With each other, we never had to put up any sort of front like we did with other people. We knew and loved every bit of each other. He was the love of my life and I was his. Like we were born to be partners in crime.

He gave up and put the spliff between my lips "Cause I love ya more than spliff." He commented.

Finally, I felt my mind and body relax.

We were an hour into _The Empire Strikes Back_ when I began feeling a bit melancholic, reminiscing about all the crap Cook and I had been through together. Saying it has been rough would've been as much of an understatement as saying we'd slept with a fair few women, but I wouldn't miss it for the world.

I put my head in his lap and cuddled into him, his arm quickly landing on my shoulder, caressing it lightly. "Remember, back then in the attic, all we wished to achieve 'til the next trilogy session was having our own roof over our head instead of living under my mum's. Literally."

"Whataya reckon we should wish for now? Everything's just fookin' dandy, innit?"

"For three years from now? I want this" I patted his knee "to still feel the same. I want us to keep doing our thing, not giving a shit about the world. I want to hang out with you all the time. And Emily could come over–"

"Woah, Emilio's still gonna be around by then?"

"Why wouldn't she be? Unless you scare her off, prick."

"Just figured one of us would've boned and dumped her by then."

The way my best mate talked about Emily cleared my senses abruptly. I got up off Cook's lap and stopped the film.

"Listen, Cook, Emily's straight and you know my personal codex, so I'm definitely not gonna sleep with her. And you keep your filthy hands away from her if you know what's good for you, understood?" I used my best don't-mess-with-me voice and it seemed to work. He knew that from time to time there where issues he'd better not argue with me about.

"Woah, ok. Got it. I'll just pretend it's a case of rule number five."

"It's not! Are you purposely trying to piss me off? She's not my sloppy second. I'm just asking you – for once I'm fucking asking you to not bang a girl – cause I wanna be her friend. Can you fucking do that?"

"Friend my arse." He mumbled as he flipped the film back on deeming the conversation over.

We finished watching the trilogy in semi-awkward silence sitting next to each other without touching. Unfortunately, the movies alone weren't enough to keep my mind from drifting to Emily. I wondered what she was doing right now and if maybe, by any tiny chance, she was thinking of me at all.

It wasn't until the next day that I realised what a prick I had been towards Cook. Seeing as I didn't have to worry about work, I spent the afternoon in the kitchen preparing a little surprise for him to apologise. I might not be the most talented in the kitchen – whereas Cook could conjure up yummy home-cooked meals out of almost anything, hence I called him my kitchen MacGyver – but knowing my best mate, he'd appreciate the thought.

I placed the cake on the living room table and finished the icing just minutes before he came back from what he called work.

"Honey, I'm home!" hearing the familiar greeting relieved me immensely cause it meant he wasn't mad at me even though we hadn't talked since watching the trilogy yesterday. "What's this? A cake? Just for me? It's not even my birthday or have I slept through a year?"

"Look at the icing." I commanded with a smile.

_"__Sorry for being an arsehole."_ He read out before digging his hands in the cake and stuffing it into his mouth. "Well, I'm not. If ya hadn't been an arsehole, I wouldn't be munching this right now."

Normally I would have reprimanded him for eating like a pig and talking with his mouth full – not that it changed anything – but these days hardly felt normal anyway.

"I'm sorry for being so goddamn irritable, too, mate. You know I love you to pieces, right?"

"It's hard to tell lately, but yeah." He shrugged in fake nonchalance.

"I just really miss her." I sighed. "Which is crazy. Obviously. I barely know that girl for Christ's sake."

Thankfully, then, he knew just the right thing to do and put his arms around me enveloping me in the most-comforting hug this world had to offer.

* * *

**AN: Still there? Seriously? You must be crazy. I like that. Further craziness might result in reviews.**

**Next week, we'll have a look into the mind of another character I absolutely adore. Feel free to guess who that may be. **

**In the worst case, I might not be able to update before the 29th. I'll try my best to do it by Friday in a week, though. See you then!**


	4. Jump

**AN: Hey readers! It's still a bit weird to know I actually have readers, but yes. Thanks for all kind of feedback and also to those of you who "only" read. You're cool, too. You'd be even cooler if you reviewed, but it's ok. =) **

**Sorry for not replying to your reviews yet. I will catch up tomorrow night. They are very much appreciated.**

**In this installment of the Rules of attraction: A journey through the mind of the infamous Emily Fitch.**

**I hope you enjoy this!**

**Disclaimer: I may own lots of cool stuff, Skins, Himym and The rules of attraction aren't one of them. There's another Bret Easton Ellis reference in there cause I can't help myself.**

* * *

**Seven – Jump**

**Emily POV**

Being back at my parents' place sucked. And that was putting it very mildly. But it's hard enough to say no to that woman on any given day, so how was I supposed to tell her I wouldn't be able to make the trip home for her business' anniversary dinner party? She needed me to show off in front of all her so-called friends after all.

Three days of this. Three days in my childhood home with my annoying worm of a little brother, my bossy mother and my dad who always did her bidding.

My twin sister Katie and I would've been able to make the trip to Bristol together, seeing as we lived in the same city now, only she had been clever enough to cite work as an excuse to arrive last minute for the party and leave the morning after it. As if I didn't have to work as well. But I could do that from here, at least according to my Mum. Apparently she'd never tried getting so much as five minutes of peace with my brother around.

The only thing I had to look forward to was the barbecue at Naomi and Cook's place. But even that was also a source of worry for me. As much as I didn't want it, I had to keep a distance from them. Not only from the blonde who had against all odds charmed me with her easy-going, open nature and her humour and those eyes. Goddamnit, those eyes, I swear anyone could drown in them. But I also had to be careful not to get attached to Cook. He's a pig, yes, but more like a sweet little teacup pig. Naomi had been right; you couldn't help but love him.

I really had tried my best to keep this professional. This mustn't fail. There was no way I would walk out of this if I didn't.

So it was my second day back at "home" and I was helping Mum prepare dinner for the party – cutting vegetables for the horrible concoctions she deemed edible, that is; she always claimed if I did anything else in the kitchen, I'd ruin the food, as if there were much chance of further spoiling it. I'd spent the day "doing PlayStation" with my little brother at Mum's request which wasn't too bad, but it meant I got no work done at all. The next time I'd be able to be productive would be the train ride back to the place that feels more like home than this.

"Hi Mummy, I'm home!" my twin's shrill voice burst the uncomfortable silence we had been working in and Mum dropped everything to give Katie her full attention. Some things never change.

"Hi Katie!" I injected and walked over to kiss my sister hello when Mum had to take a breath and stopped asking Katie about what she'd been up to in her oh-so-interesting life. "You're just in time actually, Mum's guests are gonna arrive soon."

Not much later, we were sitting in our crowded living room were Dad had improvised and extended our six seater table to have enough space for our family and ten of Mum's most valued business acquaintances.

"Tell us, Emsy, how is your work going?" Mum asked in a high-pitched, pretentious voice, her Scottish accent even more pronounced than usual. I had to bite back the truth which was that this tedious visit was stealing away time I really needed to put into writing.

"Really well, Professor Rivers is very pleased with my research."

"You mean Professor Rivers is really glad he has someone to write his next publication for him while he sits and sips his tea." Katie interfered completely uncalled-for.

"You have to know our little girl is gonna be a psychologist quite soon." Mom pretended Katie hadn't said a thing. Had it been me or James bad-mouthing Katie's work, she would have shot daggers at us. "She's working for Professor Rivers right now. He's very renowned in the field, you must know. Tell them what you specialise on, Emsy."

How I hated it when she called me that. I wasn't her little girl anymore. I might not exactly be the epitome of tall, but I've been supporting myself all through my studies and not relied on my family in years. So, if anything, I was my own little girl now.

"Katie, it is very normal for professors to delegate a lot of research to their assistants." I decided not to let my sister's remark slide completely without reprimand. She did have a point though. My boss was basically going to publish my words under his name and there was nothing I could do about it. "I specialize in behavioral studies; it's what I've always been most interested in, even back in school."

That was about all I got to speak during the evening, before James – Mum had made Dad force my little brother to wear a tie that he kept fumbling with as if it were suffocating him – finally became too impatient with having to play nice and asked to be excused. I owe that little worm big time for asking me to come up and let him whip my arse on the Playstation some more, even though his choice of words earned him some scolding and a punishment of ten reps on the naughty bar that could very well have turned into him being forbidden to play and thereby condemned me to at least two more hours of this charade. As soon as we were out of our parent's sight, I slapped him around the head for doing just that.

Luckily, I could convince Mum that Katie and I were in urgent need of some twin time and therefore was dismissed early the next morning to take the train home together with her. The downside of that sweet deal was that my sister's presence was sure to take its toll on my productivity while we travelled.

Dad dropped us off at the station and as Katie had to use the loo just before our train departed, I had a moment alone with him. I'd always been a Daddy's girl opposed to Katie who always strived and succeeded to impress Mum.

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "I know it gets a bit much with your Mum, especially when she's trying to impress these people… but really, how are you doing almost all alone in that big city?"

"I'm doing really well, Dad. Thanks for the concern. In fact, I only just recently met some really cool people."

"Ah, making new friends, yeah?"

"I wouldn't call them friends, but yeah." I shrugged.

"Well, you know, if you ever feel alone, you can always call me and I'll come over if you need me."

Dad's sweetness provided a much-needed contrast to what I had just experienced at home and I felt myself tear up at his words.

"Fitch hug?" he asked, his arms already open.

"Fitch hug." I nodded while barely managing to hold back the tears as he enveloped me in his arms.

Katie came back just in time so we didn't miss the train.

As soon as we'd sat down, I opened my laptop to finally get some work done.

"You're not really gonna be a loser and work now!?" As if on cue, Katie.

"In contrast to you, dear sister, I actually do work as hard as Mum makes it out to be. Believe it or not, this paper has to be finished by noon the day after tomorrow, so I better go ahead and write."

"Twin time, my arse! Why did you even bother to convince Mum to let you leave early?"

Cause I couldn't fucking stand it anymore. Her asking when I'd bring a nice young man home and all that stuff. "What do you suggest we do for twin time?" I slammed the laptop shut and used air quotes for my last words.

"How about we talk about what we're gonna do about your love life, for starters?"

"How about you leave me the fuck alone?" I growled at her and opened the laptop again, giving Katie a pointed look to make sure she knew not to wind me up any further. Luckily, she took the hint and made no more attempts at distracting me.

As we said our goodbyes at the station, she hugged me tight to her chest and whispered "Katie shum." In my ear telling me she was sorry in the secret language of our younger years. I couldn't really stay mad at her, then. I'm a pushover like that.

It's a good thing I was ahead of my schedule with work because there was no way I would have gotten it all done in time otherwise. With the emotional weight that was a trip to Bristol gone, I started to get increasingly nervous about the party. For someone who had sworn not to let this get to them, I sure as hell was letting this get to me a lot.

Deciding I needed a change of scenery, I took off to the university library and finished the paper there. I was equal parts proud of my achievement and disappointed that the name on the paper would be Sandy Rivers instead of my own. But that had been the deal from the beginning. I'm quite certain a huge part of Rivers' impressive list of publications was built on this kind of deal. I wasn't keen on calling him out on his fraud, though. Not that I had much proof, anyway.

So I did what I had been doing for years with Katie and finished my work keeping my mouth shut while I didn't get the credit I deserved.

The day after I handed in the paper was the evening of the barbecue. I'd texted Naomi about when would be a good time for me to arrive, barely keeping myself from adding a comment about how much I was looking forward to the evening. I needed to keep this contained. Especially now.

She told me that Carl's mates had been told to be there at eight, so barely anyone was to be expected before ten, but I was welcome at their place whenever I wanted to have some drinks and catch up a bit.

I was torn between sticking to my resolution of not getting any more involved than I absolutely needed to and wanting to spend a relaxed evening with Naomi and Cook, maybe finding out something more personal. In the end, my curiosity won out and I found myself knocking on their flat door.

"Hi!" Naomi flashed me a bright smile before hugging me hello. Apparently she'd decided we did that now.

Cook instantly went along with it and put his arms around both of us. "Welcome home, little Red!"

We got drinks from the kitchen and sat down on the sofa chatting about this and that until Cook decided he had to go heat up the grill to make sure everything was "tip fookin top" for Carl's birthday and vanished up the fire ladder.

"He always gets as excited about this as if he was a kid and it was his own birthday." Naomi smiled at me, moving a bit closer to where I sat, now occupying Cook's place "So how was it at your Mum's?"

"I'd rather not talk about it if that's alright." I glanced around the living room looking for something to deflect her with only to find what I'd noticed the first time I had been sitting on this very couch. "Why don't you have any pictures up here? Or anything else that would tell me anything about who you are."

"You might have noticed that Cook and I have guests over quite frequently. So we keep our personal things in our bedrooms. I don't need all of Cook's trophies to see my stuff."

"Can I see your room, then?" I asked, making the challenge visible in my facial expression.

"Not now." Naomi shook her head.

"Why not? Any corpses lying around, Mr. Bateman?"

"Nah, cleaned them up this morning." She deadpanned.

"Any living, naked girls still tied to you bedpost?"

"Let me check…" she made to get up and I stopped her by quickly grabbing her wrist.

"It's ok, Naomi, I got the message." I let go of her arm and focused on my beer. The mood was a bit tense for a bit but we recovered quickly falling into our usual banter.

"Want me to show you the roof? It's the most beautiful right around this time." Naomi asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Sure." I smiled.

She led me up the fire ladder, never letting go of my hand and tightening her grip when I was taking my last steps up. The view was spectacular. Turns out, the apartment building was a bit taller than all the others around it. You could see surprisingly far considering we were in the centre of a huge city and just now, the sun was setting behind the buildings. Big cushions and beanbags were scattered all around the place and Cook was standing in one corner next to a huge barbecue grill cursing the coals for not abiding by his will.

"Come here." Naomi called sitting on a huge cushion not too far from the building's edge.

"Actually, I'm a bit craven when it comes to heights." I made sure to keep a bit of a distance from the abyss.

"It's not that bad. Trust me." She patted the spot next to her. Something told me to do it, so I inched my way towards her, not really trusting my steps and as soon as I sat down next to her I put my arm around her waist to have something to hold on to for safety. She instantly returned the gesture. We sat like that and watched the sunset in comfortable silence. Once the last rays of light had vanished behind the building, she sighed and looked me straight in the eyes, not moving her arm.

"Did I promise too much?"

"Absolutely not." Damnit, how was I gonna keep myself from getting attached to her? Wasn't it way too late for that already?

"Oi Naomikins, Carl said he wants to jump tonight!" Cook's booming voice tore me away from my thoughts.

"Did he now? Don't believe a word of it!" she shook her head and scrunched up her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Your friend is gonna jump? From this roof?" I asked incredulously. "And you're chilled out about it?"

"He says that every year. Never did it. That announcement kind of loses its edge with use." Naomi shrugged.

I shook my head. "You guys are very weird."

Thankfully, just then Cook received a phone call, telling him that Carl and his mates were on their way upstairs and the roof slowly filled with people. Cook turned on the fairy lights he'd put all around the edges off the building and I both shuddered at the thought of him being so close to the edge and smiled because it seemed so typical for Cook to do something this cheesy for his friend.

The first sausages and steaks were ready just in time and Naomi came over to me handing me a plate with a bit of everything on it saying it was mine and she'd get one of her own now.

"That's very nice, but you should keep this." I handed it back. "I'm a vegetarian."

"Fuck. We're not prepared for that. Guess in that way, this is a real sausage fest." She laughed at her own lame joke. "We're also the only women here." she looked around the roof. "I'm gonna go have a look if we have something suitable for you in our fridge. Wanna join me or stay with the sausages?"

Again, as I climbed down the fire ladder, Naomi insisted it was only secure if I held onto her hand.

Turns out, the vegetarian option at Chez Campbell's was an egg cress sandwich Naomi insisted on making for me. Just as we were about to go back upstairs, Cook came in announcing that it had started to rain and thus the party would continue in the living room which suddenly filled with people to the point of it being uncomfortable. I'm small, ok? I'm not that good with crowds in enclosed spaces.

"You okay there?" Naomi asked, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"I think I might have to leave."

"But it's still early." She almost pleaded with me with her eyes and the tone of her voice.

"Maybe I just need some air."

Before I could go anywhere though, Naomi grabbed my hand saying "Come with me." and practically dragged me through the door to what I could only assume was her room. She threw the door shut and put her hands over my eyes in one swift movement. "Don't freak out. This will come as a bit of a shock. But it's ok. I've been meaning to show you, anyway. No time like the present, I guess. You ready?"

With no idea what I was agreeing to, my answer was "Yes." as I nodded and Naomi lifted her hands off my eyes. She surely hadn't lied when she said she keeps the personal stuff in her room. Only this wasn't personal for her, at least, not only for her.

"Nobody but Cook gets to see these." Of course not. There were three half-finished paintings standing on easels, each canvas showing the face of a different woman. But this wasn't just any face. Those were unmistakably women mid-orgasm. "It's how I pay my share of the rent. These sell rather well."

"No wonder." I carefully ran my fingertips over a part where I was sure the paint was dry. "They are breathtaking."

"Thank you. I'd reckoned you'd think what I do is disgusting, to be honest." Indeed, she looked relieved.

"I think you'll find you really haven't figured me out, yet, Naomi. But don't these women mind that you sell paintings of them?"

"They wouldn't recognise themselves if they saw these."

"How is that? These are based on actual women you've shagged, right?"

"They are. But I don't paint their faces the way the world sees them. I paint what I see." She touched her index finger to her temple.

"How does that work?"

"You know that cheesy saying about how the truly important things are invisible to the naked eye? I find that to be true."

"Do you have to sleep with someone to be able to see them that way and paint them?"

"Never tried. Why do you ask?"

"Oi muff munchers, Carl's gonna jump now, fook the rain, he said, ya'll wanna see this!"

James Cook, moment-killer.

Naomi reminded him once more that I was straight. She pulled me outside and before I could protest any of this, I was back on the roof, seeing Carl standing on the edge, the opposite side of where I'd sat with Naomi earlier. And he actually fucking jumped.

Time stood still. Instead of calling an ambulance, or freaking out or whatever you do when your mate offs himself, Cook bellowed a loud "Finally! Ya bastard did it!" and took off in the same direction as Carl, jumping off the building. I looked at Naomi who had a huge smile on her face.

What kind of game was this? Did anybody put something in my drink? This couldn't be happening.

"Come with me." She took my hand, echoing her own words from just minutes before.

Turns out there was another building really close to the one we were on, about 5 feet lower where Cook and Carl sat, holding their bellies with laughter.

"Wanna jump?" Naomi asked.

I shook my head being too afraid of the abyss even though the gap between the buildings was less than two feet wide and I'd surely be able to make it.

"Fair enough, but I gotta do this or they'll call me a pussy for all of next year. You ok here for a bit?"

Please don't do this. "Sure, go ahead." And just like that, she jumped.

"Emilio, come here!"

"Damn, Cook, don't pressure her. She's not like us, so leave her be!" That did it.

It took several deep breaths followed by aborted attempts until I actually dared to jump, my eyes closed in fear. The roof was still wet from the rain and I slipped a bit. Goodbye world, I thought before two strong arms caught me and I landed in Naomi's embrace.

"I got you." She whispered in my ear. "You're a very brave girl."

"Fookin top, Emilio, ya're one of us now, whether ya like it or not." Cook patted my shoulder.

The problem was, I did like it. A bit too much.

* * *

**AN: How was that? Good, bad, go-back-to-writing-Naomi-asap? Don't worry, I will. I hope the change in personalities was apparent. And yeah, kinda nervous about it, sooo... [insert shameless begging for reviews/PMs]**


	5. In good times and in bad

**AN: **Another friday, another installment of this little tale.

I'm eternally grateful for every kind of feedback I get. Writing Emily's POV really wasn't too easy for me compared to Naomi's which I'm switching back to now. Unless stated otherwise, this story will be told by her.

Also, I might have posted the last chapter from the beach in Egypt. I had to cut back on my internet use on vacation which is why it took me so long to get back to the reviewers. Sorry for that. I'm back in more or less sunny Berlin now with proper internet, so it won't happen again anytime soon.

This chapter is quite drama-free but the forecast predicts a high risk of plot twist alert for next week.

By the way, everybody ok with the weekly updates and double-chapters? I'm planning on keeping this update-pace up for as long as I manage when I have to go back to uni and juggle formulas.

What you guys don't know is that this story would never have been written without Fitcherella. She encouraged me to turn a vage idea and some jumbled thoughts I once had before falling asleep into writing. So if you enjoy this, the credit goes to her. She's awesome like that. =)

**Dislaimer:** I own a cactus named Amadeus but I don't own Skins. I'd like to adopt it, though.

* * *

**Eight – In good times…**

"I'd say it's time for the hot tuuuuuuuuuuuuuub!" Cook bellowed out.

This wasn't the first time a party had been relocated from our roof to that of the adjacent building. My mate Steven, who lives in the apartment the roof belongs to, had given us a key so we could jump over and hang at his place whenever we wanted to. Last year, we'd pooled money to get a Jacuzzi tub installed on his roof-deck for all of us to use.

Steven's a really cool bloke, even though the story of how we met might suggest otherwise.

_It was just a few weeks after Cook and I had started being wingmen, so I didn't really know what I was doing as much as I do now. There was this girl, Sasha, who I'd been lusting after for weeks on end but stupidly I'd made that obvious to her. Rookie mistake at its finest. The whole thing resulted in Sasha using me for an ego fix whenever she felt like it without allowing anything to really happen between us. I'm talking a kiss on the cheek being the most exciting thing to happen. Until one fateful night, that is. We'd been out and I had tried to make Sasha jealous by flirting with other girls but she seemed completely unfazed by it. I'd been too hung up on Sasha back then to really do anything with other girls, so at the end of the night I walked her home and as we said goodbye on her doorstep she kissed me, out of nowhere. And I'm not talking what straight girls think is okay as a platonic goodbye kiss cause they have no idea what they're doing. She was full on snogging me and I was too surprised to really react and even less enjoy it. This was a dream come true, after all._

_So Sasha asks me to come to her place the next day to watch some films and I might have been clueless back then but even I knew what that meant. That's how I ended up topless on her bed with her on top of me, kissing and touching every inch of me like it was going out of fashion. So far so good, you might say but that's where we add Steven to the equation thereby rendering it insoluble. He walked in just as Sasha was beginning to unbutton my jeans, luckily still fully dressed but obviously ready to join. _

_I'd almost fancied her badly enough to give in and go through with this. But luckily I was clear-headed enough to answer something along the lines of "Sorry Sasha and whatever your name is. I'm gay. Don't do dick, no way, no how."_

_The really cool part is that we didn't let that ruin our night. We switched locations to the living room and sat there all night drinking beer, playing board games and having a nice evening without anyone trying any funny business. They broke up a few months later but by then Steven and I had become mates and he ended up moving into the building next to ours._

Back to the present. Cook was already stripping off his polo shirt and unbuttoning his pants as I shot him a glare to make sure he'd keep his boxers on in the water. I had enough sausage for that night.

"I didn't bring a swimming costume." Emily stated looking a bit lost.

"Guess you'll have to go naked, then." She looked at me incredulously, then at Cook. "Just kidding, I have a spare bikini in the flat. We can go change."

We did just that, with Emily telling me not to look at her while she was changing. Like I'd risk the chance of getting caught sneaking a peek. Ok, I did. Who can blame me? With her being a nine and all.

"Damn it Emilio, ya look fookin hot in Naomikins' clothes and out of ya own ones." Cook commented as we situated ourselves in the hot tub, Carl and Cook each occupying a seat next to Emily, so I was left to sit facing her. Not a sight I would complain about, though.

"Don't waste your time, she's way too clever to sleep with you."

"I am." Emily nodded with a wide smile in my direction.

"Maybe she's stupid enough to give in to me." Carl interjected with a cheesy grin I wanted to wipe off his face.

We sat in the tub and chatted for a while, the weather luckily being on our side. It did get rather cold eventually but I refused to be the reason this night would be cut short just because I said I was freezing. Eventually it was Cook who made us get out of the water at around 5 a.m. complaining that his balls were getting blue and not just from being able to look at Emily but have her swatting his hands away as soon as he tried any funny business. I kind of resented him but also couldn't blame him for trying.

Carl left straight from Steven's place but Emily came back up into our flat asking if she could take a hot shower. Seems like I wasn't the only one who needed to warm up a bit.

Cook and I hung out in the living room with him nursing a beer and me drinking tea while she showered. He'd suggested joining her until I quickly reminded him of what we'd talked about concerning his dick and Emily.

"Naomi?" Emily's pleading voice came out of the bathroom. "Can you come here for a sec?"

"What's the matter?"

"I can't find a towel in here!"

And that's where my brain turned on me. I went in without knocking to go get her a towel, not thinking long enough to realize that a) Emily must be naked and b) I could just tell her where to find one. I froze as soon as I saw the first bit of skin and put my hands over my shut eyes to show her I didn't mean to perve. My brain reluctantly started working again.

"Towels are in the top shelf over there!" I pointed in the general direction, my other hand still pressed on my eyelids. I heard her go over to the shelf. "You got it?"

"Can't reach it." Then my brain shut down again. I moved over to where she was standing, opening my eyes to avoid bumping into her and stood behind her. Indeed, she was too short to reach the towels. In order to do so myself, I had to stand closely behind her, my front touching her naked back.

I placed the towel around her shoulders. "There you are." Then followed an awkward moment in which neither of us did anything. Because paralysing silence apparently is the new black. Emily was the first to snap out of our mutual stupor.

"I think I'll be ok dressing myself."

"You sure you don't need help with that?" I recovered.

"Since when is it in your interest to put clothes on women?"

"Fair point. Just so you know: I'd be willing to make an exception for you." I winked at her before closing the door behind me.

Because of the lateness of the evening, or rather earliness of the morning, I offered Emily to crash at our place which she agreed to. Thus I got out some blankets and spread them on our couch to make it as comfortable as possible. I retrieved my duvet and pillows from my room and put fresh ones on my bed. Motioning for her to get in, I left my room.

"What is this?"

"Forgetful much? You said you'd sleep here."

"I meant on your couch." She pointed towards it.

"That goes against my honor as a host." I insisted with a smile.

"What are you afraid of? A bad online reputation?"

"For your information, I am quite proud of the fact this flat has four and a half stars on yelp despite Cook living here."

"Oh how I'd love to read those comments!" Our eyes locked and both couldn't keep from bursting out in laughter at the same moment. "But seriously. I don't wanna be the fifth girl to sleep in your bed this week."

"As if I, as a top-notch inn-keeper, wouldn't change the sheets after every guest. These haven't been slept in. Not even by me."

"So you hooked up last night." Her face said: I caught you red-handed, Campbell.

"There might have been a six and a half I had to get rid of yesterday." I admitted sheepishly looking at my hands.

"Only six and a half? Isn't that below you?"

"I'll consider it charity work." I shrugged.

"Tell you what, I make you a deal. Your sofa's big enough. We can both sleep on it. Added bonus: You can't tell anyone you got me into your bed."

"Fuck, you saw right through my master plan!" I feigned feeling caught touching my hand to my chest. "But ok, deal." I offered her my hand and she shook it.

* * *

**Nine – …and in bad**

I never thought I'd have this much fun in bed (ok, technically on the couch) with a girl while we both kept our hands off each other. Emily and I spent hours joking about the potential reviews "Chez Campbell's", as she called it, would get on yelp.

Unfortunately, the next day wasn't as pleasant. Emily was still sound asleep beside me as I woke up with a terribly sore throat, a massive headache and a runny nose. Sexy, Naomi, very sexy.

Looks like I caught a cold from hanging out in the hot tub all night.

"Wow." Emily stretched her arms out and yawned noisily as she woke up.

"Wow what?" I asked, my eyebrows raised in question.

"Looks like you actually kept your hands to yourself."

"Careful, I might get the idea you were hoping the opposite." In fact, I had woken that night contemplating if there was a way that I could "accidentally" cuddle up with her and get away with it.

"Sure. Because I'm secretly not straight and just begging for you to do me the honour of finally making love to me."

"Guess you'll have to wait forever for that."

"Ouch." She held her hand to her chest in fake hurt, then added with a cheeky raise of one eyebrow "Look who's pretending not to be interested after shamelessly trying to chat me up the night – no, the actual moment – we first met."

"Look, Emily, I'm not gonna lie to you: If we weren't friends and you were giving me the chance, I'd totally tap that." I playfully slapped her arse as I got up from the couch. "But I don't _make love_." I made air quotes.

"Oh, are we getting to some core issues?"

"Not an issue. Just a fact."

"Have you always been like that?"

"You mean, have I ever made love? Nope." I shook my head. "Don't intend to either."

"That's sad."

"You know what's actually sad? Being pathetically suffering instead of having a fucking blast."

"Have you ever pathetically suffered?"

"You mean have I ever been in love? Not really."

"How can you be un-really in love?"

"Beats me. Tea or coffee?" I shrugged, thereby deeming our conversation over.

"Neither. There's no time. I should be there in…" she looked at her wrist watch "T minus five minutes."

"I better get my time machine ready, then." I smiled at her, quickly pulling on my pants and making my way towards the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you're on time."

"Kind of impossible seeing as the ride takes twenty minutes."

"Did you not hear me? I got a time machine. Now get going or you'll actually be late. Where do you have to go, anyway?"

"Uni." She said as I locked the door behind us and we walked to the lift.

"Student or teacher?" I took the chance to gather another piece of information for the puzzle that was Emily.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know." She smiled mischievously.

I led her into the garage where my motorcycle was parked. I jumped on it and threw Cook's helmet at her hoping it didn't reek too much. You never know with him.

"Hadn't pictured you as one of those dykes on bikes."

"For a straight girl, you're awfully familiar with queer lingo."

"As if. That's like general knowledge."

"General knowledge." I saluted.

"Really?" She looked half annoyed, half amused at my childish gesture.

"Sorry, had to do that. Otherwise Cook's spidey-sense would have tingled and he'd have my non-existent balls for not sticking to our deal.

"So that's one of your rules, huh?"

"Nope, those are way more important. Now hop on and let me drive you to uni. And hold on tight. This baby's the bomb in traffic." She hesitated before she got on and I decided to drive extra carefully for the first few minutes to calm her nerves which became apparent as her shaky fingers played with the hem of my jumper. After a bit, though, I couldn't help but break a bit abruptly which caused Emily's front to get pressed into my back and made her first squeak, then tighten her grip on my waist. Mission accomplished.

I managed to drop her off at the university on time and she thanked me with a tight hug and a lingering kiss on the cheek. Fucking straight girls.

After I drove back home, moving from the couch to my bed with a big pot of tea and a packet of garibaldi biscuits was the biggest action of the rest of the day for me. Cook had already left the flat before Emily and I had woken up, leaving me with no one to pamper me like the baby I was when sick. So all I could do was wait it out and hope it was just a 24-hour-bug.

The next morning determined that was not the case. If anything, I felt worse than the day before and didn't even have the energy to get out of bed to take a shower. Luckily, Cook was there now and equipped my room with a thermos of hot water and more tea and food than I'd like to have near me in a time where bathroom breaks took so much effort. He apologised for having to leave but I insisted he wouldn't be doing me any favours by staying home and not being able to pay his share of the rent. He made me promise to call him if I needed any help, though.

I went straight back to sleep as soon as he'd left and was woken by my phone vibrating around noon.

"Hi?" I asked, too groggy to check the call ID.

"Hey Naomi, how are you?" Emily's voice greeted me. Fuck.

"Just, eh, just a bit sleepy. But I'm ok." I tried to cover up my raspy voice.

"I didn't wake you, did I? You don't sound like you're ok."

"No, I'm good. What's the reason you called?"

"Oh, Cook told me to."

"What? I mean why?"

"How would I know? Would it be ok if I came over for a bit?"

"Please don't!"

"Why not? He told me you'd be home and today's my day off, for a change."

"The thing is, I have to admit… I'm a bit sick, must be the flu."

"Say no more. I'll be there in an hour." She stated in the kind of tone a mother would use to make it known that there would be no discussing this decision.

She made it in 50 minutes. Not that I'd been counting. I had used that time to put some clothes on and make myself as presentable as possible. Emily came in carrying a huge backpack.

"I wasn't aware you'd move in." I joked. "Isn't that the sort of thing people usually discuss?"

"This is just my shopping."

"Uh, you're gonna show me all your new clothes to cheer me up."

"Not quite, I stopped by the store and got a few tidbits to help you get healthy."

Those few tidbits turned out to be a massive amount of groceries including lemons, pineapple, ginger, milk, honey, tea, all the ingredients for chicken soup and some medicine. The highlight of her haul was a hot-water bottle. But not just any kind. This one had a plush cover to make it look like a teddy bear.

"Really? How old are you?"

"I'll have you know, Miss Campbell, that this little fellow has helped me get well soon ever since I was very little."

"Wouldn't that be today?"

"Haha. Very funny. His name's Jeremy and you're gonna love him even if I have to force you. Now go lie in your bed and I'll join you in five minutes with ginger tea."

"Ooh, I like that dominant tone." I smiled but her stern glance told me to better stop teasing her and do as she said. She came back as soon as promised holding the little bear and a steaming cup.

"Here's your new cuddle buddy. A bit childish sometimes, but I'm sure you'll get along."

"How can a teddy bear be childish?"

"I was talking to Jeremy." she placed him on my belly. "No go get cuddling."

"Normally I get a screw before this."

"Listen, Campbell, if you don't obey, I will make sure you truly are screwed."

"Did I mention that I like it when you're being all dominant?" I couldn't help but tease some more.

"Now go finish your tea, then I'll apply some ointment and you'll sleep."

What she didn't say was that she'd be applying the ointment to my chest, insisting on it cause that's what always helped little Emily get better. So this is how I found myself being not-so-gently asked to push down the collar of my shirt so she could rub it in.

Trying to cover up that this made me slightly flustered, I joked: "Careful, if you go any further you'll blow your whole not-gay-cover."

"Second strike, Naomi. Three strikes, you're out." She reprimanded.

"Or you're out?" Damn, I really couldn't keep my mouth shut today, maybe that was due to Cook making me promise to drink his homemade concoction of cough syrup which tasted like it was half booze.

"Two and a half strikes. One more remark and you'll lose your cuddling privileges."

"You know what? Jeremy doesn't really work for me. I think it's his being a bloke, you know?" I held Jeremy up at her.

"Fair enough." She took off her jumper and began to unbutton her pants.

I bit back a comment on how this is the moment I finally get her naked in my bed and went with "What are you doing?" instead.

"Jeremy's job." She got in the bed, laying down facing me.

"You'll get sick if you get too close to me."

"Nope, got a killer immune system. Runs in the family. It's a matter of pride to us."

"What's your family name?" I took my chance to fish for the info.

"A secret." She put her arms around my waist and pulled me closer so my head was buried in the crook of her neck, her chin resting atop my head.

"On a scale of one to ten, how lame would it be if I asked if the A stands for Angela, again?"

"Eleven. Now sleep." She pulled back a bit to kiss my forehead as I drifted off to much-needed sleep.

As I opened my eyes a few hours later, I was greeted with a "Fuck!" from Emily who seemed to have been trying to ease her arm out from underneath me without waking me up.

"I do believe I offered." I smirked at her.

"So you're well enough to be cheeky, guess that makes it okay that I have to leave."

"Why?"

"Some people have work in the morning, you know. But don't worry, I was gonna make you soup before I left."

"Hey, you may be a cook-for-them-and-leave-them kind of girl, but nurse Emily can't leave her patients alone when they're on the verge of dying."

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Is that your slightly melodramatic way of asking me to stay the night?"

"Maybe."

"Well, I can't. Time to face the facts, Campbell; you won't get me into bed."

"Pretty pretty please?" I tried my best puppy dog eyes.

"Really, I don't know who I resent more, you for trying such a shameless ploy or me for falling for it." She put the duvet back over us.

"Does that mean you'll stay the night?"

"Yes."

"In my bed?"

"In your bed. I'm gonna go cook the soup now."

She did just that, occasionally coming back to ask where to find specific items in our kitchen – as if I'd know my way around it – insisting if I helped her cooking it would ruin the purpose of her doing it. A while later she came back with two steaming bowls of the most delicious chicken broth I'd ever had. We ate in comfortable silence and Emily climbed into bed again after she put away the bowls.

"That was really yummy, Emily. Who taught you to make it that way?"

"Ah, just this old gypsy woman at the circus. She said there's a curse on the recipe in case I ever wanna poison someone and get away with it." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"Care to tell me how to find her? I'd like to write a thank you note for such a pleasant death." I turned my back towards her.

"Shut up and sleep." and she cuddled closer to me, rendering me the little spoon.

"Looks like I finally got you into bed." I smilingly whispered in her ear as an afterthought.

* * *

**AN:** Instead of asking for reviews I'll use this place for a message to someone very special (who may or may not wanna punch me for writing this):

**Four reallys.**


	6. Burn & Confessions Part I

**AN:** Hi there!

So I take it you all survived the easter holidays?! Awesome!

This would've been a regular length chapter but I decided to split the second part in two for reasons that will become apparent when you get there.

The rest of this chapter (Confessions Part II) will be posted a few days after this one. Reviews might make me post faster. =)

And I'd love to come up with a reason why this isn't blackmail but let's face it, it is.

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed or followed/favourited this story so far. You guys make me smile too much. My cheeks kinda hurt but it's a good pain.

**Disclaimer: **Yadda yadda, you know the drill.

* * *

**Ten – Burn**

Another Friday in accordance with rule number six meant another night out on the prowl with Cook. We'd decided to start the night slowly by hanging out at the bar.

Carl had greeted Cook telling him he got a present to deliver to him with best wishes from uncle Keith and I would have bet anything that it was his very special blend of narcotics.

"We're over this Cookie, those days are gone." I reprimanded, hoping to get through to him so he wouldn't take the bag of pills Carl had placed on his beermat.

"We might be all grown up now, but let me save this for a special occasion, Naomikins. Loosen up a little." Cook told me as he placed the pills in the chest pocket of his polo shirt. I hoped he only accepted them so he didn't look boring in front of Carl who surely would tell the story to Keith.

"That one at seven o'clock from you should be Naomi's type. She could help her loosen up. What do you, say, that's about a nine?" Carl pointed out to Cook who pretended to scratch his neck in order to masquerade his checking out the girl.

"This, my friend," he placed his hand on Carl's shoulder in a half friendly, half patronising manner, "is an eight. Tops." He grinned. "Besides, our Naomikins" he put his arm around my shoulders, "has discovered a taste for redheads. Likes 'em fiery, ya know. Let's hope she doesn't get burned." Cook had been teasing me about supposedly liking Emily in a not-so-friendly way quite a bit these last few days but putting that idea into Carl's head was too much.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I only like Emily as a friend?"

"How do ya reckon I was talking about Emily?" he countered with a cheeky grin.

"How many other redheads do we know that you've been getting on my nerves about?"

"Now Cookie's getting on ya nerves just because ya fail at getting' into little Red's pants." He winked suggestively at Carl.

"If you know what's good for you, you better shut. the. fuck. up. NOW!"

"Not a sore topic at all." Carl commented with raised eyebrows before going back to polishing glasses.

"If she's only a friend, how come I saw ya in bed all wrapped up in each other?"

"Because you're a snoopy bastard."

"I was just checking ya're ok when I came home. Ya know that comes with the Cookie monster love package!"

"She was making sure I feel better soon!"

"And ya did, didn't ya? Totally made her breakfast watching the sunrise on the roof like in a fookin' rom-com. I thought we had a deal, man. Don't ya pull a number seven on me."

"You know I don't fall for anyone. Especially not straight girls. Never been that kind of lesbian. I just wanted to thank her. I felt a million times better after what she did for me. I swear, that girl can work miracles."

"Like turning ya into a marshmallow?" His look challenged me.

"Do I look like a fucking marshmallow to you?"

"Ya sure behave like one. All sweet and fluffy. Like ya eyes become hearts popping outta ya head when ya lookin at her."

"Really, Cook, are you that fucking jealous because I befriend someone other than you? Is that it?"

"Nah man. I love lil' Red almost as much as you do."

"I don't love Emily." I stated, my arms crossed with the face of a petulant child.

"Well, I do. She's cool, man. How come you're so afraid to admit it?"

"Not afraid. Just not as loving as you are." I took a sip from my beer trying to draw a line under the topic.

"Did ya make her pancakes?" Thanks Cook, that totally helped.

"Might have." I admitted, a slight blush spreading on my cheeks, suddenly finding the label on my beer bottle utterly fascinating. Cook knew I only used my very limited culinary expertise to spoil people I really, really, really liked.

"Fook, Naomikins. That means ya're already halfway there."

"Halfway where?"

"Seven."

"Yep, I'm totally 3.5." I tried to deflect. Rule number seven was a Pandora's box I didn't wanna open.

"I worry about ya, you know." He didn't fall for it.

"Don't. I'm ok. She's straight and we're friends. And it's cool, you know." I put down my beer to stop myself from further fumbling with it.

Cook stood up from his chair and hugged me closely to his chest. "Ya know I love ya and Emilio, right?" he kissed the top of my head. "I just don't want ya to get burned." Apology accepted.

We had some more drinks without really looking for hook-ups. Around 2 a.m., Cook got up. "Not meaning to be a prick or anything, but I think tonight I'm gonna fly Han style… solo!" He gave me a toothy smile. "Because ya." He pointed at my chest just millimeters away from what I'd early on declared touch-me-there-and-win-a-free-kick-in-the balls territory, "are absolutely useless tonight."

"You think so?" I called after him after he'd hugged me goodbye.

Just before exiting the bar, the clever bastard said something that he knew would have earned him an arm-punch had he been within reach.

"Cause ya got a major crush on Red." He saluted.

* * *

**Eleven – Confessions Part I**

Cook wasn't home when I woke up the next morning, so I made breakfast or rather lunch for myself and then painted a bit. It often took me weeks after seeing a girl to truly capture her in my art.

What I hadn't expected was that I wouldn't see my best mate for three days from then on. It wasn't unusual for him to postpone our debrief time to spend the day after a one night stand shagging if he liked what he saw. That's why initially I didn't worry. When he wasn't home by the next day, I texted him to ask whether everything was ok or if I have to come free him from being tied to some dominatrix' bed again. Let me tell ya, that was a sight to behold. For some reason, the chick had strategically placed a ukulele on top of little James, so my poor eyes were spared. He didn't answer my text until the next day, with jumbled letters and phrasing that told me he had been drinking. A lot. What I gathered from his drunk gibberish was that he'd needed some time to think – since when does Cook think? – and would be home tomorrow. The elation of knowing he was ok was so over-whelming that I didn't even worry about what it was that he'd had to think about so badly that he went away without a word.

The next evening, he knocked on our door because he's lost his keys. I opened the door and found my best mate in a right state. Not only had he obviously not let any water touch his skin since the night in the hot tub. His hair and clothes were covered in mud, he had a black eye and a cut on his cheek that looked like it was at least a day old and needed cleaning. I instantly took him in my arms, not minding the dirt and his stench – we've been through too much for it to matter.

"What the fuck happened to you?" I carefully began to undress him, afraid he might have more injuries than what I'd seen so far. "Are you ok to shower on your own or do you need help?"

He pushed my hands away from him as I was about to open his pants and grunted "I'm good" before walking over to the bathroom. Not even a joke about me showering with him? Something must be severely wrong with him. After hearing the shower run for over 45 minutes, I went in to check on him. He was sitting in the cubicle facing towards the showerhead letting the water spray on him. He got up as soon as he saw me. I stepped into the shower with him, not even bothering to take off my clothes and put my arms around him. The water was ice cold.

"Get out, ya don't wanna see my knob."

"In case you haven't realised it up until now, I don't give a shit about your cock."

I took a large towel, wrapped it around him and made him sit down on the toilet. Then I filled the tub with hot water and put some bubble bath in it. Reluctantly, Cook got into the bath sitting upright in the middle. I cupped some water up with my hands and splashed it over his shoulders repeatedly, slowly making my way up until I was splashing it onto his head. He had a humongous bruise on his ribcage but this was obviously not the time to ask about how he'd acquired it. I got out the first aid kit and carefully cleaned the cut on his cheek. It didn't take a doctor to see it was in severe danger of getting infected.

"This is gonna sting a bit." I announced before dabbing a tissue drenched in disinfectant on the wound. Cook – who between us is normally a huge pussy – didn't even flinch. After ten minutes of sitting there in silence I got my best mate out of the tub, toweled him dry and got him dressed.

He sat down on the couch and still wouldn't look at let alone talk to me. I kneeled down on the floor in front of him, taking his shaking hands into mine.

"Cookie, can you please tell me what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

He finally looked up at me opening his mouth but no words came out. Instead, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Ok, you know what? I'll leave you alone for a bit, go to my room and leave the door open, so if you need me, just call for me." I got up to do just that.

"Naomi." He never called me that.

"Yeah?"

"We gotta talk."

"Talk, then. Cookie, you know you can tell me anything." I repeated just to be sure.

"Anything?" I got back into my previous position and held his hands in mine, rubbing my thumbs over them, looked him right in the eyes and nodded. "Shots?"

"I'll go get them." So I stood up, patting his knee and fetched the tequila – we really needed to stock up on vodka – and two glasses from the kitchen. If this was what it took to get my best mate back to normal, I'd more than willingly make the sacrifice. The phrase might be as cheesy as it is overused but I really would do anything for him. I sat down next to him and put my hand on his cheek turning his head to face me. Then I pressed my lips to his in a slow kiss. "Don't get any ideas." I smiled into the kiss. "I love you, but you're my brother. And I don't mean a Welsh one."

He didn't even chuckle at that. If incest jokes didn't do it, I was really running out of ideas. Booze would have to do. We knocked back five shots each in silence before Cook murmured "fook it." And grabbed the bottle from my hands as I made to refill the glasses. He took another big swig and then wiped the sweat from his forehead taking a deep breath that indicated he was getting ready to finally speak to me.

"Where do I start?"

"How about the beginning?" I tried to convey with my eyes that he really could say anything, I'd be ok with it. Little did I know.

"Ya know, I got really fookin smashed. Went to a club. But after that, it's fook all I remember. Next thing, I've got a major hangover –"

"Major hangover!" I saluted in reference to our stupid old joke that only we thought was funny. "Really, you won't even laugh at major hangover? Uncool, Cook. What's gonna happen to our private joke." Pause for effect. Salute. "Private joke." No reaction. "Cookie please… you can tell me anything." I was getting desperate.

"Not this. You're not gonna like this."

"Did you put your red boxers with the white laundry again? Or borrow my handcuffs?"

"Nah. Listen. So I woke up with me head feeling as if fookin Stomp were practicing in it. In her bed. And I can't move. My arm's all numb. And I can't breathe. Face's buried in her hair. The whole night gone from me memory."

"So what? Did her big bad boyfriend beat you up? Is that why you look that way?"

"Not funny, Naomi. This happened after I left her place. I kinda… got lost."

"You mean you drank your weight every day and got into fights?"

"I was just so angry. Still am."

"I thought we were past that. This hasn't happened since…"

"Don't ya dare say the name! As if I didn't feel bad enough."

"Oh my god! You didn't, did you? You didn't pull a number seven! You can't! When will I meet the unlucky lady?"

"Fook, Naomi, I didn't fall in love. Do I look like it?"

"You look like you went through hell and took the bus back. Are you sure your ribs aren't broken? I think your cheek may need stitches."

"I fooked it. Ya're gonna hate me. It's like a double rule-breaking."

"Cook," I made sure he looked into my eyes before continuing, "It'll all be ok. We'll fix this. Look what we've been through. Tell me."

"I woke up with a stranger and no memory. Only it was no stranger."

"Who was it?"

"Ya don't understand. Fook, ya're gonna hate me."

"I couldn't, even if I wanted to."

"The girl I slept with. I don't even remember cause I took one of Keith's pills. That shit's fookin strong. And I swear it didn't mean anything. It was Emily."

* * *

**AN:** On the next installment of The rules of attraction: The aftermath.

I hope you all can trust me with this. Thanks for reading so far!


	7. Confessions Part II

**AN: **You bribed me well with reviews, so here's your reward. Thanks to everyone for the feedback. Just a tiny follow up to that cliffhanger.

This is the first time that I don't have a full chapter written for next week so we'll have to wait and see if I can keep the Friday deadline. It may be just one short chapter instead of the usual double pack or you'll have to wait a bit longer for a full-length chapter.

BTW, (as a friend/guest who's majorly spoiled hinted) a few more characters will be introduced as the story progresses. But essentially, this is a Naomily/Nookie story.

I got word that Naomilyficspalace recommended me on tumblr, so I recommend you follow that or do whatever nice things there are to do on tumblr. And a big thanks to the anon who recommended me. It's pretty awesome to see how many people read, enjoy and are invested in this story. I am more than honoured.

**Disclaimer's still the same. Not gonna change.**

* * *

**Twelve – Confessions Part II  
**

"You slept with Emily?"

That couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Why would she do that? I stormed to my room. Acting on the spur of the moment, I pulled some clothes out of my dresser and stuffed them in a bag.

As I stormed out through the living room, Cook was already waiting for me.

"Lemme explain!"

"Explain? You wanna explain? Fuck's sake, there was one thing I asked of you." I held up my index finger for emphasis and stepped closer to him. "One tiny thing. And you couldn't even keep your brain out of your pants long enough to think this through! And I told you not to take those fucking pills. Keith's in the past. Deal with it. And you also gave Emily one? Fuck, you could have killed her!"

"I didn't. I mean, I offered. But she didn't take it." So she'd actually slept with him without any chemical help. This was worse than I thought. I had to leave. "Where are you going?" He asked as I reached the door.

"My Mum's. And you won't be following me. Or contact her." I pushed him up against the wall and moved my face so close to his that our noses were almost touching. "If you want any chance of salvaging this, you leave me alone for as long as I need it. If I move out, I'll text you with the details. You will answer in concise texts. You won't be calling or visiting me. Got it?"

There were tears in his eyes as he nodded and I let go of him leaving the flat without another word.

Everyone agrees that coincidence can be a bitch, right? This day, it excelled at proving to be just that.

My plan was to hail a cab and get my arse over to my Mum's place as fast as possible so I can curl myself up in my childhood bedroom using a bottle of vodka as a teddy bear. Sounds solid, right?

That's when the arsehole coincidence interfered.

It must have been the abundance of mutually contradicting feelings – anger being very prominent among them; and he brought his buddy disappointment along to the party – blinding me, but it was way too late until I saw her sitting outside the little corner café. Our little corner café. Cook's toughest competitor in the race to become the last person on earth I want to see right now. Her red hair glowing in the sunlight. It was too late to turn around and walk the other way, so I kept my head down, hoping against all hopes that she wouldn't notice me walking by her. Fat chance.

"Hey Naomi!" Really? She's Hey-Naomi-ing me? Like nothing fucking happened?!

"Hi Emily! Or should I say: Hi Emily Bitch?!" Yes, I was behaving like a petulant child. And I'm good at it. "Really, what's your last name, anyway? It's not like you ever tell me things. Well, whatever it is you should probably get it changed." I was on a roll.

"Wha… what's your problem?" She looked shocked, maybe even a bit hurt.

"My problem is that you act like we're repulsive, right? Especially Cook. You make us out to be these monsters who don't respect women. Just because we like sex with no emotional entanglements. Just because we have one night stands. And then you do that!" I practically spat at her, towering over her as she seemed to get smaller and look more defeated with each word out of my mouth.

"Then I do what?" Did she really think pretending to be clueless would work? I'd made it pretty sure that I know about what she did with Cook of all people.

"Don't you dare play dumb with me, Emily. It doesn't become you."

"Come with me." She blurted out after gripping my wrists tightly.

It took me a second to gather my wits and realise that she was dragging me towards the underground station. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"What needs to be done." She said through gritted teeth. "Remember how you kept me from running away from you after your one night stand with that Colombian girl? Guess what?" she raised her eyebrows at me "This time I'm not gonna let you run away." The determination was evident in her voice.

"So you admit to fucking him!" I blurted out. Her answer was just to shake her head in disbelief and manoeuvre me into the train. "You could at least tell me where we're going."

"My place." She didn't say anything else for the rest of the train ride, always keeping a tight hold of my wrist.

Eventually, she half dragged me toward a huge apartment building that seemed to have hundreds of little flats in it. We took the elevator to the seventh floor, her remarking than I should be glad the bloody thing worked for once and she opened a bright red front door. I was still too agitated to properly take in my surroundings but I do remember sitting down on a small, worn-out yet comfy sofa and being handed a cup of tea by Emily who sat down next to me for lack of another space to sit.

"Listen, Naomi, this is how we're gonna do this." She put a hand on my thigh. The proximity of her body suddenly becoming apparent to my hazed mind. "I don't know what happened or what you think I did. But I'd like you to – calmly – tell me."

"You slept with him!" I spat out again. My anger made a sudden reappearance despite her hand stroking my thigh in what was surely supposed to be a reassuring manner. "And now you pretend you never did! Why the fuck do you have to make a secret out of everything?"

"I slept with whom? Actually, that doesn't matter. I haven't seen much action lately if you must know."

"Are you shitting me? Your last one night stand can't have been more than what? Three days ago?!"

She got up suddenly and grabbed my wrists in her hands pulling me up with her. "Listen, Naomi. Whatever you think you know. Just tell me. The whole story. Maybe I can work out what your problem is, then."

"My problem?" I scoffed, trying to free my wrists from her grip but she didn't relent. "You wanna work out what my problem is? My problem is you…" I successfully shook my right hand free and pointed at her, "you act like you're all high and mighty and believe in love and all that bullshit. Yet you couldn't keep it in your pants around Cook of all people. He's not exactly prince charming ready to put you down on a bed of roses on your wedding night, is he?" She answered my rant with a smile on her face and a glint of what looked like realisation in her eyes. "What? You think this is funny?!"

"It is if my theory is right." She took a deep breath as if she were bracing herself for something. "So you think I slept with Cook?"

"He was pretty clear about it. At least he seemed to actually feel shit about it."

"Katie will love to hear that!"

"Who's Katie and what has she got to do with anything?"

"This is Katie" she said, picking up a picture frame from a cupboard with two Emilys in it. Well, not really two Emilys. Looks like Emily had a twin sister. "Really, I should have thought of this sooner because Katie called me a couple of days ago bragging about this _well-fit, tattooed bloke _she'd just shagged." she used airquotes – Why was she always so adorable when she did lame stuff like airquoting?

"So, what you're saying is…" it finally dawned on me.

"Glad you're finally catching on", she said, the fire back in her eyes.

"Does that mean you've never…?"

"No." she shook her head and smiled up at me. We were still standing in the middle of her small living room a bit awkwardly.

"That's good cause 've got a confession: I really, really, really don't want you to sleep with Cook."

"I'll never do that."

"Promise?"

"Promise." She took a deep breath. "So we're ok."

I took a moment to think and realized that "Yeah, we are." With a nod.

"Fitch hug?"

"What's a Fitch hug?"

"This is a Fitch." She pointed at herself. "And this is a Fitch hug." She added as she put her arms around me and held me close to her in the most comforting manner. I couldn't help myself from deliberately breathing in her smell. Then I had to smile to myself as a potentially devious thought crossed my mind.

"Hey Fitch, wanna play a game?"

* * *

**AN:** As many of you guessed correctly, I couldn't let Emily sleep with Cook. It'd also be awfully out of character for this incarnation of her, I think. couldn't resist adding a little Twin confusion.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the little box down there.


	8. Games & Challenges

**AN:** Hi there! Everyone still on board with this? I am. And I actually managed to write this chapter in time.

That is surely about to change though as this semester is threatening to kick my arse. But I'll do my best to continue this regularly.

To the guest who wanted me to draw out last chapter's drama more: You got a point. This whole Fitch switch thing was only supposed to be like a paragraph or so and then it kind of grew... PerPerhaps that's why I wanted to end it rather quickly and get on with the actual story.

You guys are the best, seriously. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed the last chapter(s).A special huge fucking thank you to (in alphabetical order) Fitcherella, Irma the Lunch Lady and whykay91 who have reviewed every chapter from the very beginning.

**Disclaimer:** The only way I own skins is on dvd.

* * *

**Thirteen – Games**

"What kind of game did you have in mind?" Emily seemed intrigued by the idea.

"Well, right now the two of us have a significant advance in knowledge compared to Cook. If you even have half the humour I do you've probably played this twin thing to your advantage dozens of times. Care to do it once more?"

"For you, I will." She smiled up at me and we sat down again to plot something to make breaking the twin news to the Cookie monster a bit more interesting.

Thus I found myself hiding in the hall with a scantily dressed Emily – she insisted this was the most like her twin she could look – Emily ready to knock on our door. At first, Cook didn't answer the door. But I was sure he wouldn't be going anywhere before I was back again. He was too devastated at how I left, like a puppy in a downpour. Poor Cookie monster.

At my insistence, Emily kept on knocking for minutes. She even tried out a routine of knock-knock-knock "Cookie!" that had to be repeated three times in a row.

Eventually, Cook opened the door looking even worse than I'd anticipated. In a way it moved me that he was obviously so devastated about our falling out. Hopefully, Emily and I could cheer him up soon.

I'd told Emily to literally get her foot in the door as fast as she could, thereby taking advantage of Cook's habit to not check the peephole because he would probably close it in her face again. As is turns out, I couldn't have been more right. Luckily, the little redhead had followed my advice.

"Leave, Emily." When did he ever call her Emily?

"Let me in!" she insisted in a tone that definitely didn't work with the seductive plan we'd had. Unless she was going for dominatrix which, thinking about what I'd had to witness with Cook in the past, wasn't a bad bet. He reluctantly opened the door a bit more to let her in.

Our plan include Emily asking my best mate into the kitchen so that I could sneak into the flat unnoticed and listen in on them from my room while Emily told Cook that she fears she might be pregnant from their one night stand. That's Cook's irrational fear, getting a girl pregnant. Irrational because he's meticulous about putting on condoms and also likes to make sure his conquests take the pill. Don't ask me how he works that into small talk before screwing them. All I know is that he does.

I had just pulled the door to my room almost shut, careful not to make a noise and to leave it open just as much as it had been when I arrived, when I heard Emily clearing her throat theatrically – the code we had agreed upon for her to signal me that I had only seconds to disappear before they came back to the living room. I sat down behind the door so I could watch them.

Cook let himself fall onto the sofa and sighed.

"Naomi not here?" Emily played innocent while stirring her tea.

"She knows."

"Knows what?"

"About us."

"About what?"

"Ya know… what happened."

"Ohhh, that…" Emily looked down into her cup and ran her finger in fake contemplation. "I knew you wouldn't be able to keep it to yourself."

"So ya do remember. Of course I told her. She's me best mate. Fookin family."

"Well I wasn't drugged out of my mind like you were." She shrugged. Damn, she was good.

"This ain't about me! T'is 'bout Naomi!" The way he slurred his words told me he'd been drinking more than just the half-empty beer in his hand.

"Yeah?" She tried hard to look disinterested. And succeeded. "How is she?"

"Fookin' angry is how she is!"

"Guess we shouldn't ask her to be the baby's godmother just yet, then." How fucking nonchalant can you be when dropping a bombshell like that?

"Baby? What fookin Baby?!" At least Cook seemed more awake now. If not entirely happy with the situation he found himself in.

"After what happened, I had a bad feeling. So I got a pregnancy test. And about a dozen others just to be sure." Too bad I couldn't see the Cookie monster's face as Emily delivered that line. The fearful whimper he gave was enough to crack me up, though. That guy is just as afraid of becoming a father as Ron Weasley is of spiders. Problem was, this really did crack me up. I'd laughed out loud enough for him to hear it and even though I might occasionally state otherwise my best mate was not a fool. Might as well give up and come out instead of waiting for him to come get me from my room.

"What the fookin 'ell?!" he exclaimed as I tackle-hugged him and kissed his face repeatedly. He'd always claim he didn't like it but we both knew he loved when I was this affectionate with him.

"I'm sorry, Cookie." Emily managed to say through a fit of laughter. "Couldn't resist."

"And she doesn't mean she couldn't resist the Cookie monster's charm." I added as I put my arm around her shoulder showing my best mate that we'd plotted this together.

"You didn't sleep with me. And never will. But it seems like you saw to my twin sister good and proper. Left a lasting impression." Emily cleared up.

"Ya got a twin?"

"She does. Emily called her. You may have been completely pissing gone yet she says you wrapped it." Cook broke out into his trademark grin – Hello mate, nice to finally see you again – and hugged me close to him. "I know what you worry about, Cookie. It's alright."

"You should've seen Katie's face when I told her that her fabulous shag didn't remember anything from that magical night." Emily interjected with a snicker. It must be sibling love.

"Now that ya mention it, some stuff from that night did come back to me." Cook sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.

"Like what?" I asked. This gotta be good.

"Nothing I'd wanna share, being a gentleman and all." He winked at me.

"If you're a gentleman, I'm a pig."

"Ya know I love pigs. Paddy and I had a lil' teacup piggy growing up."

"Aw, I love teacup pigs!" Emily chimed in. "They're so damn cute!"

"I bet ya if I got one now that'd be a brilliant bait to lure girls into the flat."

"Not so cute anymore." Emily made a disgusted face.

"Cook, I swear to whatever deity means anything to you if you get a pig you better find a way to pay the rent on your own cause I'll be the fuck out of here!"

"Better do that after I win the lottery, then."

* * *

**Fourteen – Challenges**

After the little Fitch switch we'd fallen into a little routine of Emily hanging out at our flat regularly and not just to watch us pick up girls. In fact, she stopped coming along to clubs with us which is kind of good because my game isn't even close to what it used to be. Cook doesn't seem to notice or at least be bothered by it though, probably cause I still fulfilled my wingman services abiding by our rules like before. But something's off. I haven't actually slept with a stranger in weeks. I'd leave the club with girls occasionally to keep up pretenses with Cook, something that wasn't usually necessary.

I was lounging on the couch with Emily beside me, both of us drinking a beer as it was Friday evening and waiting for Cook to come home and tell me what the plan for tonight was. As if on cue my best mate arrived carrying two suit bags which he placed on the coatrack before sitting down on the couch squeezing himself into the small space between Emily and me and putting his arms around us.

"Blondie, we gotta do something about this!"

"About what?" I tried seeming clueless about what could possibly be the matter and hoping he hadn't noticed

"If we don't act soon we'll be in violation of rule number 3."

"Oh right." I tried to pass my sigh of relief off as realization. "The perfect week."

"What's a perfect week?" Emily asked.

"Ya know, little Red, at least once a year, Naomikins and I gotta try to pull every day for a week. Seven nights, no turn downs. If we both manage that – voila – perfect week."

"Let's pretend that making a game out of dating-"

"I'm not dating anyone." I interjected.

"Ok, so making a game out of getting laid or whatever isn't disgusting. Did you two ever pull that one off?"

"Well we got pretty damn close two years ago. Would've been a piece of cake if someone hadn't decided to go full-retard on me." I glanced at Cook in mock-anger.

"I said I was sorry about a million times."

"Who the fuck just goes up to a girl and whispers boner in her ear thinking it'll land him a shag?"

"Carl challenged me."

"And your ridiculous challenge couldn't have waited one more night so we could've completed our perfect week first?"

"You know drunk Cookie doesn't like to think."

"Wait, what? You actually slept with six girls in six nights? Both of you?" Emily looked at me incredulously.

"Whattaya acting so surprised for? Ya know what we get up to, don't ya?"

"Hate to say it but the Cookie monster's got a point."

"You're right, I guess." She relented.

"So I figured what better time than the present, right? Got us a nice little treat to kick it off tonight. Ya got three guesses."

"By the looks of it I guess we're going to suit up."

"Fookin' bingo!" He got the bags and handed me one. "Ya don't mind if we change here, do ya, lil' Red?"

Emily shook her head in response while keeping her gaze fixed to the floor as Cook and I started to take off our clothes and put on the tailored suits Cook had gotten us, mine accentuating my curves perfectly.

"Wow… you look…." Emily looked me up and down obviously impressed by what she saw.

"I know." I smiled at her. "Damn it, Cook, these must have cost you an arm and a leg."

"I know a guy." Cook shrugged.

"Right, there's always a guy and if there isn't there's always Guy the guy guy."

"Yep. So now that we're looking all sharp and fancy, it's time to get this party staaaarted!" He hollered out.

We had a few rounds of tequila shots – Seriously, where the hell's the vodka when you need it? – and then went down to the bar to start the night properly. Emily didn't accompany us though and went home. There was a couple of sevens at the counter that looked like easy prey – one of them obviously trying to flirt with the other who was obviously too straight and oblivious to get it – so we decided you couldn't go wrong with a classic and played _Have you met James_? Piece of cake.

Maybe it was the suits or the extra confidence that came along with wearing them – not that Cook and I were the self-conscious types – but these girls were putty in our hands. We didn't even have to try the least bit. One down, seven to go. So I woke up next to the sleeping form of a very spent looking, petite brunette the next day preparing to explain to her that no, she would not get breakfast from me and no, I would not give her my number to call for a repeat performance.

As the moment arrived and number one woke up, I started: "Hey, listen, I know this is kinda uncool but would you mind leaving quickly–"

"What, is your girlfriend coming back?" she asked, quirking up an eyebrow and smiling like she wouldn't mind if that were the truth.

"Fiancée." I joked back as she made short process of getting dressed.

"Guess that explains why you were so distracted yesterday." She grabbed her purse and left my room.

Wait what? What the fuck was she on about? I followed her in a hurry to find out.

"Distracted how?" I tried sounded nonchalant rubbing my neck.

"Nothing." She shrugged, then looked me up and down appreciatively and left the apartment. I was not gonna run after her any more seeing I was completely…

"Naked, nice. Naked Blondie is and will always be my favourite Blondie!" Did I mention that I don't believe in the concepts of pyjamas. Never have. Probably to do with me hippie upbringing something about not having walls around yourself or whatever. So here I was, stark naked, in my own living room.

"What the fuck, Cook? Why are you even up this early?"

"Just enjoying the view, Naomikins. Sun's shining an' all." He made a show of ogling my tits. As if it was the first time he saw me naked. There was no point in covering up now. Steer into the skid.

"From your drooling I guess I don't need to worry about needing to work out more, huh?"

"It's all tip fookin top, Blondie." He pressed his thumb and index finger together making an exaggerated kissing noise. "Ya really do have the same haircut as Gina."

"Stop pretending you slept with my Mum. That'd be almost incestuous. This will have to be enough for now. So make sure to take a mental picture." I made my way to my room.

"Hate to see ya go but love to watch ya leave." He called after me, being rewarded with a cheeky shake of my arse before I vanished into my room. "And Gina and I totally willy-waggled!"

I got dressed and painted a bit, well I tried. The girl from last night, she was nice enough. Good-looking. Charming even. I'd have taken her for an encore on any given day. But something was weird. I couldn't paint her. This was new.

It wasn't the first time I had trouble capturing a woman right after seeing – ok screwing – her. But I'd at least be able to make a decent sketch. Not this time. Nothing.

I was a bit frustrated, so I went out into the living room and asked Cook what he had in mind for tonight.

"Didn't really get our money's worth out of the suits last night, so I reckon we're international business men picking up chicks at the airport."

"You know what, I'm just bored enough to agree to that. As long as we don't end up on a plane to Philadelphia with girls bragging about their jock boyfriends again."

"Philly was great, though. With a coppery aftertaste, ya know." He winked at me.

"Christ, Cook, there's no one else here. No need to pretend. I know you didn't actually lick the liberty bell."

"Did too."

"What you did was get us into trouble. A particular talent of yours."

"Ya love me, though."

"Sometimes it's hard not to wonder why." I admitted. "So we're going to Heathrow or do you fancy a trip to the country?"

"Well, there's no way I'm pick up someone from fucking Stansted."

"And don't get me started on the rest." I joked with him. We both hated the airport transfers. "Wait, you did pick me up from Stansted a few years ago."

"Well miss-remember-all, if your memory is so fucking ace you should also know that we didn't take the fookin train."

"Damn right we didn't." I smiled at the memory of Cook standing there at the gate with a hand-painted sign saying Naomikins, adorned with little hearts as if he were a ten-year-old girl. He'd rented a limo to "get me home in style." To top it all off he stood there singing _Auld lang syne_ playing along to it – or at least attempting to do so – on a fucking accordion. I had only been gone for two weeks but it was safe to say my best mate had missed me.

"Gina and I totally got it on in the car park."

"Jesus Cook, she's practically your Mum!"

"Okay, so it was just a little kiss. Little Cookie got no action." He conceded. "That day."

"Shut up before I make sure little Cookie won't be ready for action ever again."

So we took the tube to Heathrow, being practical and all. As soon as we reached the baggage drop-off, someone called after me.

"Hey, don't I know you?" There she was, perhaps a little more pale than the last time I saw her – English weather does that to your complexion – but still gorgeous as fuck. Miss Nice Colombian Tits, in the flesh. "Looking sharp, all suited up."

"You don't look so bad yourself." I commented not trying to hide that I was checking her out. She wore a pair of jeans shorts and a top that barely covered the essentials. "Heading somewhere more sunny than good olde Londontown?"

"Visiting my family."

"Colombia, then."

"I'm surprised you remember that."

"Believe me, I do remember everything from that night. Not just the spectacular shag you were."

"You know, I'm actually running painfully early for my flight." She pushed her sunglasses up. "I'm sure you have a no-repeats-policy but in case you don't or you're willing to make an exception for me, I could freshen your memory of what a spectacular shag I am." She winked. Always confident, always cheeky.

"In that case maybe you could show me the loo."

About fifteen minutes later I found myself pressed against the door of a bathroom stall with her hand in my pants whispering what must have been Spanish dirty talk into my ear.

"I don't remember you being such a bottom." She commented after I had come rather loudly.

"Guess I'm capable of more than you expected." I countered.

"Like falling in love."

"Wha-… what? I'm not in love."

"You're falling though."

"Listen, this is fun but I don't know how you got the idea I'm falling for you."

"Not for me, silly. Obviously. But there's some lucky girl out there."

"There's no one." And if there was, who says she's lucky?

"Feel free to lie to yourself but don't lie to me. We're both way too clever for that." She pulled a business card out of her purse and slipped it into the pocket of my jacket. "In case you wanna talk about it or distract yourself."

And with that, she was gone.

Not that I really had anything I needed to distract myself from but let's say I had… What better distraction than trying to bed seven women in as many nights without rejection?

Number two down. I'm doing well for myself. And judging from the text I just got from Cook, so was he.

* * *

**AN:** Any predictions and theories how this will continue? I'd love to hear them!


	9. Tied up & A wingman in need

**AN: **So I dare show my face again, huh? All the usual excuses along the lines of uni/writer's block/awesome people in my life/general distraction *salutes* apply but I hope you guys are still with me.

Good news: There's actually a bit of development going on in Naomily-land. I was stuck with this for a bit but re-reading your kind words in reviews/PMs helped me out.

Anyway, I'll just let you read this.

Disclaimer's the usual. On with the show...

* * *

**Fifteen – Tied up**

Five to go.

Our perfect week might have been off to a somewhat bumpy start but it's the results that count, right?

Emily came over for a very late brunch on Sunday and since it was a nice day, we'd decided to have a picnic on the roof.

"This place is really beautiful, even by day." Emily commented as she climbed up the fire ladder and sat down on the blanket I had spread out for us.

"Yeah, it is a nice place." I agreed.

"Ya know what's even nicer?"

"Enlighten us, Cookie."

"How about the first pumpkin beer of the season." He grinned at me as he ceremoniously presented me with a bottle causing me to break out in a huge grin and hug him close to me.

"Thanks, man. I love this stuff."

"Ya gotta know, Emilio, our Naomi is a sucker for anything pumpkin-related. And after the number she pulled yesterday, Cookie figured she could use a little treat." He winked at us.

"What number?" Why did she have to ask when it was so painfully obvious she wouldn't like the answer?

"NTC managed to sneak her way into the recall round. Not sumthing our Naomikins usually does, ya must know. So she took her." As if his speech wasn't enough, he made a suggestive thrusting motion with his hips. "Right in the loo at the airport."

Emily looked at me with a face that foreshadowed what would come out of her mouth. "Really?"

"We didn't have much time before her flight." I shrugged.

"And it didn't cross your mind not to do it?"

"Listen, Red. I'm not sure ya got the rules of a perfect week right." Cook was ready to explain them to Emily as if she were six years old.

"Shut up, Cook!" I cut him off. Seeing that Emily was ready to argue with us, yet she also seemed conflicted somehow. Maybe she realized that we never gave her any illusions about what we did; to us none of this way wrong.

"She should just come out with us again. She'd have a fookin blast. Like last time!"

"You know what?" Emily made sure both of us noticed the challenge in her look. "I think I might just do that. Not today though. Got an early start. How about tomorrow?"

"Got a deal, Red!"

Great. Just what I needed.

Emily left soon after, so I decided – since this didn't seem like a day when we would do anything productive at all – we might as well take care of checking the number three off our mental list for the week.

"So, what do you say, Cookie, we go check out the diner? See what's for lunch?" I raised my eyebrows to make sure he'd get my meaning and not answer that he'd only just eaten.

"What's the rush, Blondie?"

"Nothing, I… I just figured… better sooner than later, right?"

"Cookie says better wasted than sober." He gave me his trademark grin. "Don't wanna be turned down just because the chick isn't properly bladdered."

"Right, I forgot that this is an option for you. Unlike me." I teased.

"Ya're never gonna let me live down what happened last year, right?"

"Never." I grinned. "But also, I'm pretty much irresistible so I get that it's hard for you to keep up."

"That sounds awfully like ya're challenging me to a race."

"When are you gonna get it into your head that I'm never – listen and repeat after me – never challenging you to a race."

"Well, then I'm challenging ya."

"You know what?" At least this would spice things up. "Challenge accepted."

Thus we found ourselves in front a club Cook insisted would be perfect for our little game-within-the-game. Either I'm getting old or the party-goers get younger (and frankly more stupid looking) by the minute.

"Seriously, fucking techno? You know I hate it."

"That may have been part of my plan, Naomikins."

"Bastard. You know I hate dancing to that."

"Yep. Should give me a nice advantage." He rubbed his hands in victory.

"I'll still kick your sorry arse." I commented as we passed the bouncer. Let the games begin.

This was one of the rare occasions when we weren't actually wingmen. We were competitors. The bet was always the same. Whoever exited the scene with a six or higher by their side wins. I'd already decided on what my punishment for Cook was going to be. Now it was only a matter of executing my plan, so I scanned the club trying to find a girl that wasn't on MDMA and didn't look like she's fourteen and going wild – partying on a school night and all – while her parents were on vacation. Things didn't look too promising though. As I made my way towards the smoking area hoping to find some loners tired of the rave inside I could sympathize with, I saw Cook leaning against the wall giving me a suggestive wink. Damn it, the lucky bastard had a girl by his side and her hand in his pants.

But he hadn't won yet. I shook my head at him and pointed outside indicating that the terms of our wager couldn't be met with a shag within the club's premises. But still, he was way ahead of me. Think fast, Naomi.

Luckily, I quickly came up with a promising tactic. Twins. So I walked towards my best mate and his conquest making sure to keep my expression one of anger and not let it show how hilarious this situation was for me. "You arsehole gave me crabs!" I yelled at Cook before spilling my drink over him. I almost couldn't keep a straight face at Cooks flabbergasted face. Afterwards, I quickly made my way to the loo, took off my blazer and made my hair a bit wet to change my looks a bit, then went to the bar and got a new drink. Ready for round two. Same procedure.

"Aren't you the bastard who gave my twin sister crabs?!" and another drink in Cooks face. This should be enough to make sure little miss wandering hands would lose interest in the Cookie Monster.

This hardly was playing fair and I probably would've punched Cook if he'd tried something similar with me but for some reason I felt like I really needed this win.

The next ten minutes or so I was on autopilot. I don't even remember them properly. All I know is that I found her leaning against a wall nursing a fag. I bummed a few drags even though I had my own pack of coffin nails in my pocket and before I knew it she started talking about how close to the club she lived. She was a bit too on the heavily tattooed and pierced side for my liking – I normally don't mingle with goths – but whatever; she was above most other girls at this club by a mile and there was something very intriguing about her attitude so I gave it a go.

As she turned the key in her door she remarked one thing that should've warned me about what's to come. "I hope you're not allergic to leather."

Leather. Black leather, ropes and chains. That's all I saw as we entered her bedroom and she began kissing me and pushed me onto the bed. Before I knew it, we were both naked even though I don't remember actively participating in the process of getting there.

It was when I felt a leather cuff close around my right wrist while she was straddling my hips and kissing my neck that I snapped out of my stupor.

"Stop. " I almost shouted. And to her credit, she did so instantly.

"That's a shitty safe word by the way. Worse is only ouch." She smiled at me. "What is it? You didn't strike me as a novice to stuff like this." She gestured towards all the toys and contraptions in the room.

"That's not the problem." It really wasn't. I've had a fair share of (mostly) pleasant experiments.

"Oh, don't tell my you're 100% top only? Because nobody is. I thought a bit of tying up could do you some good."

"I don't feel like it." Technically, that wasn't a lie.

"Ok. But hopefully you feel like this…" she kissed my neck again. "Because it'd be a shame if I had to let you leave here without an orgasm or three."

And damn, did she live up to that statement as she moved down on my body and gave me the best oral treatment I'd received in a long time. I'm not gonna comment further on what she did after that, being a gentleman and all or whatever. But I'll have you know that there was the odd bruise, scratch and bite mark on my body as I entered the flat the next day.

"Honey, I'm home!"

"Naomikins, nice ya'd finally show ya face. Y'and me gotta have words." Cook got up from the couch with a serious expression to match his statement.

"Where's the fire?"

"What ya did last night violated rule number one like nobody's business. And it sabotaged our plan for this week. So that's two broken rules, that's where the fire is."

"You're just mad because I won." I countered. Trying to play off the situation.

"Ya know that if I hadn't turned on the Cookie monster charm and convinced that chick to stay with me ya'd have ruined our week?" Damn it. He was right. In my selfishness to win this little side quest I had lost focus of the team effort that was a perfect week.

"Fuck, I hadn't even thought of that. Sorry. You got every right to be mad." How I hated having to admit I was wrong.

"I ain't mad, just make sure to consider it when picking ya reward for winning last night." He picked me up in a tight hug to show me things between us were alright. His ability to hold a grudge was always outlived by the urge to live in the now, one thing I love about my best mate.

"Sorry to disappoint but I already decided on your punishment."

"Spit it out, then."

"Let me get it." I went to my room to fetch what I had bought months ago in hopes of finding an opportunity to force it on Cook. "You'll be wearing this for the next year." I announced as I got back to the living room and presented him with the dark blue tie with big yellow ducks on it.

"Damn it, Naomikins. Three months tops. Ya know I hate ties." He clutched at his throat as if something was strangling him.

"So the ducks don't bother you?"

"The duckies are fucking cool. But ties always choke me."

"Ok, can't have you choke. Nine months and ten slaps right now."

"Six months, five slaps right now."

"Six months, five slaps whenever the fuck I feel like it. And one extra slap plus a punishment that's yet to be agreed upon every time I catch you without it." I put the tie around his neck and started tying it. "You'll have to learn how to do this yourself."

"Deal. Ya're lucky, Naomikins. Normally, only an eight or higher gets to tie me up."

"Are you trying to say I'm a seven or less?" I raised my eyebrows giving him a warning glance.

"Ya're a twelve." He grinned. Trying to resist the charm offensive that is the Cookie grin is futile.

"That was a close call."

* * *

**Sixteen – A wingman in need**

"Honey, I'm home!" So we had put a key under the doormat for Emily to let herself in in case we were on the roof and wouldn't hear her. In this case it served the purpose that neither of us had to get up to open the door for her. What can I say? I get lazy when I'm drunk and unless the objective is getting laid.

"Ya ready for tonight, Emilio?"

"As ready as I can be with perverts like you." Emily helped herself to a bottle of beer and sat down between Cook and me. "Nice tie, by the way."

"Fucking choking hazard, you mean."

"I think it's cute."

"Too bad ya won't be joining us tomorrow. I doubt the others will think that, too."

"What's so special about tomorrow?"

"Ya're asking what's special about tomorrow? Tomorrow's pregnant, full of opportunities…" he stretched out his arm as if we were standing on a mountain and he was showing Emily the view. I stopped his rambling with my hand on his big mouth.

"What our little drunk philosopher originally wanted to say is that tomorrow night we'll be playing the but-uhm game."

"Do I wanna know what that is? It's not about butt stuff, is it?" Why does this girl think it's always about sex with us? Oh right, because it is.

"There's this TV host and she says but-uhm in pretty much every other sentence. One simple rule: Whenever she says it, you gotta take a shot. Popular game amongst uni kids. There's always easy prey around when the game's on. And they get themselves drunk before you even begin to worry about it."

"You two really are evil geniuses, aren't you?"

"Well, I'd like to think Cookie's the Pinky to my Brain." I smiled at her.

"Please, let's get wasted before I start thinking about the kind of diseases you guys are likely to have."

We had some more drinks at the flat before going downstairs. None of us felt like clubbing tonight so a nice evening at the bar would have to do. We sat down at the counter and I chatted with Emily as Cook more or less subtly scanned the room whispering comments on his findings to us with an obvious twitch to the corner of his mouth.

"Is he always this eager?" Emily asked me while playing with the straw in her cocktail.

"Only when there's an unusual challenge. He mustn't be turned down tonight, so he will spend quite some time checking out the girls and also his competition. Imagine a football player being among us, he wouldn't stand a chance then. So this is one of the rare occasions when our Cookie doesn't go right in for the–"

"Lemme check out that blonde eight at six o'clock." Cook interrupted my explanation.

"…kill." So much for that. "Carl's standing at your six o'clock and the blonde you actually meant is a six and a half. Tops. Ironically, she's at your eight." Emily laughed at my smart-assery and I decided to spend a bit more time just talking to her and look for a shag later.

We'd just ordered our second round when Cook came back with a very happy grin on his face.

"She's a surfer. Ya know what that means." He semi-whispered to us.

"What does that mean?" Emily asked.

"Means she's got a surfboard."

"You don't say." She countered.

"I told you a thousand times there's no way you can have sex while surfing."

"I can and I will. With miss seven in about an hour."

"Where the fuck do you wanna surf in London at midnight?"

"We'll find a pond or something." And with that, he was gone.

"What is it with him and surfers?"

"Cook's made a list of vehicles to have sex in and he's been trying to check a surfboard off it for ages."

"Gotta hand it to him, he's creative." Emily leaned back in her seat.

"Don't tell me you're warming up to the Cookie monster?"

"I do like him. Doesn't mean I approve of what you guys get up to."

"Sometimes I wonder why you even hang out with us." Damn booze making me all thoughtful and honest.

"For shits and giggles, obviously."

We talked and joked around, ordering new drinks every once in a while until Carl pulled me aside asking for a word. What did he have to be secretive about?

"Naomi, you might wanna hurry up with getting into Red's pants."

"Wha- what? I'm not. What the fuck?"

"All I'm saying is, time's almost up." Fuck, he was right. It was half past two am and the deal was to secure a shag before 3 am in order to achieve a perfect week. Talking to Emily would have to wait.

"I'm sorry, Em. I gotta go, I'm super late."

"I don't see a cape." She looked me up and down as if she was searching for something.

"Can I help you?"

"How can you be _super late"_ fucking air quotes "when you're not even wearing a cape?" I was intoxicated enough to laugh at her lame joke.

"Seriously though, if I don't find a girl in the next thirty minutes Cook will have my non-existent balls." I looked around. "Too bad this place is practically dead. Guess I'll have to go for the brunette over there even though she doesn't look too enthusiastic. Hopefully she's just playing hard to get. Where's a wingman when you need one?"

"Maybe I could help!?" Emily suggested. To my surprise, she didn't even look like she was kidding. "I could talk to her and give you a signal. Introduce you to her."

"So basically, you'd be my wingman?"

"Wingwoman."

"There's my little feminist." I patted her shoulder as she got up. "Almost didn't recognize you for a sec."

"Only problem is…" she started fumbling nervously with her hands. I knew it. She must be backing out. This was too good to be true. "I don't have the slightest clue how to go about it." She smiled up at me timidly.

"Well I think I can help with that. Let's start simple, ok? We can play Have _you met Emily_. Only thing is, we'd have to be talking to a girl because guys work differently. Is that ok with you?"

"Sure. How do you tell they're not straight, though?"

"See the blonde back there?" I pointed her out to Emily as discreetly as I could in my inebriated state. "I'd bet all the pumpkin beer in the world that she plays for my team."

"Why do there have to be teams anyway?"

"Come on, I'll show you how to do this." I patted her thigh and got up. So I introduced Emily to little miss obviously-queer and stood aside a bit so I could listen in on them without disturbing their conversation. It was going well. In fact, a bit too well. Blondie was eager to get into Emily's pants who seemed to be oblivious to the unsubtle flirting she was subjected to. I had to intervene.

"Ahem, excuse me, sorry to disappoint you." I grabbed Emily's arm lightly and pulling her behind me on my left side in a protective manner. "Emily's actually straight so we're gonna leave."

Before she could even react, I had guided Emily back to our seats.

"That was fun." She commented with a mischievous grin.

"Yeah, no for operation Have you met Naomi. You up for it?

"More than that." And with that, she was gone, headed towards the brunette I'd talked about earlier.

I watched her as she talked to our target and couldn't help but wonder what she was telling her. Either way, it seemed to be working cause she gave me a thumbs-up behind her back and motioned for me to come over. Almost as subtle as the Cookie monster. So I followed suit and joined them.

"Have you met Naomi? She lives right upstairs." She was good for a first-timer.

After five minutes of smalltalk it was clear that the girl was sold on me and we made our way to the flat, Emily in tow because she had left her jacket at our place. I'd opened the door and let my shag du jour in holding it open for Emily.

"Not gonna go in. There's no telling if your conquest is getting undressed as we speak."

"Ok, let me get your stuff then." And I did just that. "Thanks for helping me out back at the bar."

"You're welcome. It might be the cocktails talking, but it was fun." She smiled that million-watt-smile at me.

It was most likely just due to a momentary lack of judgment, I'm sure. But as we were standing there, both clutching her jacket, hands touching slightly and more intoxicated than responsible adults should be, I couldn't help but look at her lips. Look at her licking her lips. There's never been a moment in my life where that wasn't a signal.

The rapid thumping of my heart against my chest was the soundtrack of me leaning in as I realized she was doing the same. Or was my inebriated mind just playing tricks on me? Was I making a huge mistake?

It's only the booze, right?

* * *

**AN:** Good thing I'm not one to leave you on a cliffhanger, right? =)

The next chapter's being written now and I hope to get it up quicker than this one.

No promises though. Reviews are a great motivation, hint hint. ;)


	10. The perfect week & Truth Boom

**AN: **Hi everyone!

This is for my friend who just finished med school.

This is the first chapter that hasn't been corrected by **Fitcherella** because she's awesome and has a new job so there's not much time for fixing my rookie mistakes. I hope it's not too bad.

If you're not reading **PlatinumRosewood**'s **When Words Fai**l yet, I suggest you do that now and leave her a nice review. I'll see you here when you're finished.

Read it? Awesome.

Thanks for all the reviews and other feedback. Longer AN at the end.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Skins or anything else this story is referring to. But I'd take them out for dinner and make them pancakes in the morning.

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**Seventeen – The perfect week**

"Do you mind if I grab a beer?" tonight's hookup proved herself to be a real moment killer. Though she did save me from what was surely going to ruin a great friendship. Because that's what we were. Friends. And I couldn't bear to lose that. Not for a stupid drunk kiss with a straight girl.

Emily coughed. "I guess you should be taking care of your guest." She blinked rapidly as if she'd just been woken up.

"Yeah." I scratched the back of my neck nervously. "See you around." My brain obviously didn't like me very much or else it would've come up with something better than taking Emily's hand and shaking it for way too long while she was smiling at me half-awkwardly, half-amused.

I shook my head as I watched the elevator doors close behind her. What the actual fuck, Naomi? You can't be fucking serious. Maybe I should send miss moment killer a gift basket for saving me. I wonder if she likes wine? Or I could just make sure she has a night she'll never forget.

"You're even hotter than I anticipated." We'd been making out on the couch for a bit after moving to my bedroom as we couldn't be bothered to keep up pretenses about where this was headed. At a fast pace.

"Wait, what?" I stopped the quick movements of my hands on her bra-clad upper body. "What do you mean, you anticipated?"

"Me being at your regular pub tonight wasn't a coincidence." She kissed my stomach as her hands were working on my bra.

"Wha- what?" All I could do was lay there with my mouth open in astonishment, too dumbfounded to stop what was happening.

"You're kinda famous in some circles, you know?" Great, must've landed myself a psycho.

"You know what?" I threw her onto the bed and straddled her. "Shut up and let me fuck you."

And I did just that. Exhausted myself on her until I couldn't even think straight – pun very much intended. When I woke up the next day she was still lying next to me and the room reeked of sex. Classy. I'd apparently been too spent to even escort her out of the flat.

"Get ya bottoms out cuz tonight we get our but-uhms on!" I actually couldn't help but snicker at Cook's dorkiness as he stood in the door and grinned at me. "Fook me, ya actually got a little bottom with ya!" he stared like the 15-year-old he truly is inside. I made a mental note to slap him for it later. And hard. Maybe I should start working out. I wonder how a personal trainer would react to me walking into the gym proclaiming I need to learn how to slap a motherfucker really hard.

Surprisingly, miss Little Bottom – not to be confused with Longbottom – got up only haphazardly covering herself with a sheet and went to fake whisper into Cook's ear; speaking at a volume that made her words perfectly audible to me.

"Be a good boy and leave us alone. If you behave I may let you have a taste of what your friend…" she threw a suggestive glance my way, "…got to enjoy last night."

Then she picked up her clothes and left me asking "What the fuck just happened?" as the door closed behind her.

"I'd say the Cookie monster just helped ya out getting rid of that chick."

"Cheers, bro." I yawned "So how about the special plan for tonight?"

"We're playing but-uhm which means a)" He counted off on his fingers. "wasted uni kids resulting in b) easy prey so c) we don't need no plan." Finishing his reasoning with a broad grin.

"All the better. Just let me nap a bit more. Staying up every night shagging – I'm getting too old for this shit."

"Cookie's gonna pretend he didn't hear that or else ya'd be violating rule number six."

"Shut up and let me sleep." I threw a pillow at him for emphasis.

I couldn't sleep though. My mind kept spinning trying to figure out how to deal with what had happened – or almost happened – the night before. Yes, the sex was a good immediate distraction but now that I was solo and sober the Emily situation could no longer be ignored.

_Act now. Act fast before it can get even more awkward. _

Maybe she didn't notice. _How could she possibly not have noticed? You were leaning in, idiot. What friend does that?_

Maybe that was just the alcohol making me think I'd leant in. _That's not how booze works and you know it._

She's straight. _Like that's ever stopped you._

But I can't just shag her. _So she's more than just a shag._

She's a friend. _Yeah sure, friend._

Maybe I should call NCT? _Well, she seemed to know more about the situation than you do._

Nonsense, she thought I was falling in… no way!

What would have happened if I had kissed her?

Would she have slapped me?

Would I've been able to play it off as a drunken mistake?

Would we still be friends?

Or – _perhaps the most frightening possibility_ – would she have kissed me back?

I decided not to ruminate anymore and just act. A text would be good. Nothing too nice.

_Got home safe?_

That's not even a sentence, Naomi. You know that feeling after hitting send on a text when you wish you could take it back before it's actually transmitted? Well I do. Putting my phone down was excruciating. Please answer. Please be normal. Please don't ignore me.

_Thanks for your concern. I'm alright. How about you? Was she worth your while? ;)_

She? Who? Right, the girl. The shag Emily had secured for me just minutes before I almost ruined our friendship. That's what we're meant to be. Friends. Just regular friends. Friends that don't kiss. Not like Cook and I. Damn, I didn't know how to even go about this; being friends with anyone but Cook.

Worrying about that would have to wait though as I felt my fatigue take over.

Turns out the first bit of our perfect week had left me with a severe sleep deficit seeing as I didn't wake up until I heard the door creak and opened my eyes to Cook trying to sneak inside with a mischievous look on his face carrying an air horn. You wish, you evil bastard.

I waited for him to situate himself next to my bed and just as he was about to give me a tinnitus for the rest of the day – Who's sabotaging the other's game now? – I opened my eyes. "Surprise, motherfucker!"

"Woah!" He held his hand to his chest in shock taking hectic breaths. "What the fook, Naomikins. Coulda given me a heart attack." Looks like I got my revenge.

"What do you say we don't drink before we go downstairs?" I had my own semi hangover to overcome and the game was sure to do the rest. We did have an agreement with Carl to serve us a shot of water instead of vodka every once in a while when it became too heavy.

"Yeah. That Scherbatsky chick is sure to get us bladdered in no time."

"That explains how someone this hot is stuck hosting a 2 am programme."

"I wouldn't mind hosting her 2 am programme someday." Cook commented with a wink. "If ya know what I mean."

"I always know what you mean. Not like it's hard to guess."

So we made our way down to the bar and were immediately greeted by Carl once we reached the counter. "It's been a while since you were last here when the game was on. What's the special occasion?"

I felt more than saw Cook taking a deep breath and folding his hands in a businesslike manner ready to explain our little project. I quickly grabbed him by the forearm and pulled him aside to tell him in a rushed whisper "Don't you even think about telling Carl about the perfect week. By now you should know that's bad luck."

"How come ya didn't flip when I told Emilio, then?" There was an undeniable – and for the Cookie monster unusual – challenge in his look. The only thing he'd ever challenge me about were potential hookups and Emily was anything but that.

"Emily's different." I defended. Why did I even feel the need to?

"Ya really like her, don't ya?"

"You know what I like better? The prospect of nailing the redhead at three o'clock that's been giving me the eyes ever since we set foot in this place." I pointed discreetly to our right because my best mate was still too dense to grasp the o'clock concept. Life must be nice when you don't overthink everything and just do stuff. Damn, I envy Cook. The world must be coming to an end.

"Redheads, eh? But don't ya wanna wait for the game to start?"

"Who said I can't go for a second round later?" I raised my eyebrows at him. "Guess I'm just gonna secure number five right here and now."

"Fookin A, Naomikins!" He held up his hand.

I left him witch a high five and a curt "Can't talk, gotta fuck." to walk over to number five; which was the name she would be known by in retellings of this story. Now the pressing question was: Do I nail her right on the loo or take her upstairs? Maybe I've had my share of toilet shags for this week, so we quickly made our way upstairs – simply calling her out on her staring and mentioning the proximity of my flat had sufficed to convince number five to come with me – and as soon as we entered I threw the door shut and nailed her against it. Short and efficient. I'd still be at the bar in time for the show. You don't wanna miss seeing the infamous Robin Scherbatsky in action.

Cook had his back turned towards the entrance chatting with Carl as I came back and I walked up to him holding my index finger to my lips gesturing for Carl to shut up and stood up on my tiptoes to speak into his hear "Found anyone desperate enough to shag you, yet?"

"What the fook is it with ya and startling me today? I'ma die of a heart attack if ya keep going like this."

"An STD or getting beaten up by a rightfully jealous husband seems more likely."

That was when Carl interrupted us speaking through a little megaphone "Scherbatsky game starts in ten minutes. Everybody willing to play either sit at the counter or pick up a tray of shots. As always only two rules: One: Scherbatsky says but-uhm, I ring the bell and you down a shot. Two: Anybody who still manages to throw a dart without missing the board goes free of charge."

Cookie grabbed his first shot and howled "Let the game begin!"

* * *

**Eighteen – Truth. Boom.**

"Good morning London! This is Robin Scherbats–"

"Good morning my arse! More like goodnight to your career if you're stuck in that job." I commented earning smiles from Cook and Carl.

"Tonight we have a very special guest with us; psychology's newest pop star. The man who–"

"That bloke better stop winking at Scherbatsky undressing her with her eyes, sleazy tosser!" Cook talked to the tv.

"I never pegged you as the jealous type." Carl commented. "Scherbatsky better get that interview started and the but-uhms coming." He rubbed his hands.

"I am pleased to welcome professor Sandy Rivers!"

We didn't pay much attention on what was actually being said during the interview but instead took our designated shots as Carl was busy pouring vodka to keep the shots coming. He was convinced it was a well-kept secret that he used cheaper booze as the night progressed thinking people would be too intoxicated to notice. They did notice. But nobody seemed to mind. Cook soon excused himself and a dark-haired uni student – of the I don't need to work that's what I got tits for type – and said to keep his shots lined up for him so he could catch up in a bit. They went straight for the loo. Classic Cookie monster. Never change.

I said to Carl: "If Cookie's conquest didn't have such remarkable cleavage I'd think she's still in middle school. How can a grown woman be so small? Are you sure she's legal?" watching my best mate leave with this girl had reminded me of another vertically challenged person in my life that I didn't know what to with. But tonight wasn't about that. I'd leave the worrying and the hangover – Scherbatsky was on a roll – to future Naomi who was sure to hate me come morning.

"You know I don't believe in checking IDs." He shrugged.

"You know what Carl? The two of us haven't had a good, old one-on-one talk in a while."

"Sorry princess but now's not gonna be the moment we change that. Got my hands full and all. You know I'd let you help me out but there's no way you're getting behind the bar ever again."

"Cook dances naked on the counter singing _Can't fight the moonlight_ one time and we're banned forever? Still don't think that's fair."

"Don't act so innocent. Wasn't him who gave away free belly shots to any girl that took her top off."

"It was hot in here. Didn't want them to overheat." I shrugged, knowing that Carl didn't listen to me anymore as I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was number five from earlier now sheepishly looking at her feet. Surely there for a second round. Weird, I hadn't even noticed she was back at the bar as well.

"I… I was just wondering when I could see you again?" Damn it, she actually looked frightened, barely managing a whispered stutter. Turn-off alert.

"You can see me in your dreams." I turned my back on her hoping she'd get the message without further ado. Luckily she did.

As I found myself fresh out of people to talk to I grew desperate enough to actually listen to the program for a bit where Mr Sleazy Prof – Who did he threaten to nail to get that title? – got ready to read an excerpt from his latest publication. Must be something big and interesting enough to secure him a spot on this, admittedly not exactly high quality, programme.

"_The thing you have to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact, the say men think about sex every 28 seconds. Of course that's straight men. With gay women it's every nine. _

_You can be at the supermarket or the Laundromat or buying a cool pair of boots when suddenly you find yourself checking out some hot girl. Hotter than the one you saw last weekend or went home with the night before which explains why we're all out drinking at one in the morning instead of at home in bed. But who wants to be at home in bed? Especially alone when you can be here, knowing that at any moment you might see "her," the most beautiful woman who ever lived. That is, until tomorrow night."_

_The Prof put the book down on his lap. "You see, Robin, at this point our subject presents themselves as a mere observer. As if they hadn't any part in this game, as they call it. That changes later-on." He read again. _

"_Like I said, it's all about sex- Except when you're having it. Then it's all about 'Will she stay? Will she go? How am I doing. What am I doing?' Unless, of course, you're me. And then it's 'Who gives a fuck what you think? You're lucky to have me.'" _

That sounded awfully familiar. Those were my words. Still playing the cocky card with Emily back then. I had said it right here, answering her question what it was all about. Someone must have overheard us. Maybe someone who's used to listening to people talk. You probably could hear the cogs turning in my head. I looked at Carl like a wildcat ready to jump and attack.

"You fucking arsehole!" The rage was ringing so loudly in my ears that I could barely hear the tv anymore, only some words making their way through to my brain. Narcissist. Pathological liar. Sociopathic tendencies.

"You listened in on us! And then you thought it'd make a good read, right? It makes so much sense. You know about all the stuff we get up to!

"Did I miss something?" Cook was back from his shag on the loo throwing shot after shot down his throat.

"Something's got Naomi's knickers in a twist and she blames me for it! Probably didn't get any in too long."

"I got plenty, fucker!" I snapped, still angry at him even though I had to admit that deep down I knew it couldn't have been Carl. "Did you hear what Rivers said?" I asked Cook. Silly question. How would he have been able to?

"Yeah, watched it while taking care of business." He winked.

"What? Just… how?"

"Don't ya tell me they don't have TVs in the ladies' room!?"

"They will soon enough after I have words with Carl."

"So what about the show?" Cook seemed to come down a bit and register that I was actually upset.

"You know what he said, right? That whole story about those despicable human-beings as they say. That's about you and me. Mostly me. But still, about us." I could barely speak as it felt like the words would get stuck in my throat.

"Nah, it can't be. Like who'd even know all this?" He must be truly desperate to resort to logic for help.

"That's just the fucking million pound question, isn't it?" I sneered. And then it hit me. There was only one other person who knew all this. "Fucking hell, Emily did this."

"Nah, no way." That's Cook for you, unable to even imagine something bad in a cute, little redhead with chocolate eyes. Not like it was easy for me to believe her betrayal either. I thought we were friends or something like that. _Something more._

"Who else? Who else could have done this?" I was pleading for Cook to give me someone else to hate. I probably wouldn't even hate them. I don't mind the bad publicity. But being betrayed by someone I trusted? Yes, I do mind that.

"Noone." He looked down sadly.

"So she really did this." I sighed as I leaned on his shoulder.

* * *

**AN:** So how was that? Sorry to anyone who knows more about psychology than I do (which isn't too hard). I know the possibility of what Emily did happening in real life is slim to none but I took the liberty to stretch the truth here and there. And there will be an explanation for some of it later.

Here's where this story (possibly) gets interactive: I do have most of this planned (and going all German efficient I have index cards and notes to pretend I actually know what I'm doing): If there's any HIMYM scene/joke/thing you'd like to see happening in this story, feel free to tell me and I'll see if I can make that reference somewhere.

Anyone guess where Naomi's little monologue is taken (and slightly changed) from?

See and read you soon!


	11. The nightmare before Halloween

**AN: **Another update in just a few days? It's almost like the good old days a few weeks ago, isn't it? That's what happens when I get awesome feedback and also have some time to spare. Thanks uni.

This one is a bit shorter but James Cook isn't a man of too many words. That's right, time to listen to what we Cookie monster has to say.

Not sure if the way I wrote him is ok, so I'll just post this before I think better of it.

**Disclaimer: **Not a skins owner here but I'd make Cook steal it for me.

* * *

**Nineteen – The nightmare before Halloween**

**Cook POV**

When I get sad, I just stop being sad and am awesome instead. Works almost every time.

Naomi's different. Takes life too seriously, that one.

That first night, she grabs all the shots she could reach and drank them. Carl and me have to break the rule of never wasting a drop and spill the glasses before she could get too them. But my girl sure is fooked up beyond.

So I bring her home, make sure she throws up before I tuck her in for the night so the hangover won't kill her.

There I am, putting a glass of water and a couple pick-me-up-pills on her nightstand, proper ones, not the kind my disco pharmacologist cooks up and I'm turning off the light when I hear her fookin whimper "I can't believe she did this, Cookie. How could she do this?"

I like Emilio a fookin lot, I really do. Or did, whatever. But anyone that hurts my Naomikins like this has a problem with me.

So it's the next morning and I'm thinking I better check up on sleeping questionable beauty only she's not in bed. She's sitting on the sofa, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ain't nothing questionable about 'er beauty, asking me what's the plan for tonight. To be honest with ya, my plan for the night was make sure Naomikins doesn't drink herself to death. She's all like let's complete the perfect week, I gotta think fast and I end up doing what no bro's supposed to do, ya know? And I say, Naomikins, I say, I blew it. Got turned down yesterday. And she doesn't even throw a fit or anything, just says that doesn't mean we can't get laid tonight, does it?

But I already have plans with someone, don't I? None that I could tell 'er bout, that's for sure. So I say I feel tired, suggest a movie night. She goes out alone. What was I gonna do? Tie her to her bed? Don't think she'd let me and I hate to admit it to ya, making me look like a right pussy, but she can kick me arse if she puts 'er mind to it.

Can't let her go alone though, could I? Not in the state she's in. Naomikins may be a fookin queen when it comes to putting up a brave front but Cookie can tell. Cookie can always tell. We practically grew up together. I know her. End of story. Which is why I follow her. She takes a cab, so do I, we're at a club and I'm all responsible and shit and don't drink, just make sure I stay hidden, not draw attention to myself – that's a new one, I'm telling ya – and watch 'er. She has a good night, I'd say. Takes one girl after the other to the loo, having them leave all looking all flushed and shit a few minutes after. She's drunk but not too trashed, actually makes it home without my intervention.

The thing is, am I fookin pissed at Emily? Yes. Am I hurt? Nah, I've been called worse than what's in that book of hers. Yeah, Naomi got the book. Emily's even listed as co-author all proper and shit. She doesn't suspect I know she's got it hidden in her bottom drawer – hint: good stuff is almost always hidden in the bottom drawer – and reads it all the time when she's supposedly asleep.

After the magical three days I get a voice mail from Red, sounds all sobbing and pleading, telling me she tried calling Naomi and she just hung up on her, so she tried texting and only got an answer about her research being over and to leave her alone. And she keeps asking me to let me explain, that there's reasons and whatever and I'm like, Emilio, I don't care what ya did. Everybody fucks up. Shit happens. If anyone would know it's me. Apologize and mean it. Then we're good. So I text her. Tell her just that. And she wants me to explain to Naomi but Naomi's not in a good place right now. She asks what place. I say hell.

Ya see this never was between Emilio and me. 'T was between Naomi and her. These two have chemistry that could set my room on fire and I guess by now even they have realized as much.

So for about a week or so, Naomi and me develop this groundhog day routine. She goes mental. I watch, making sure she's ok. Call me overprotective if ya will. Blondie can watch out for herself just fine. Hell, more often than not she watches out for me, too. But not now. Things are different now. She's broken. Not like she'd admit it.

Thing is, even though she's in this fooked up state she seems to be ok to go out alone. A man's gotta sleep, ya know. And other things.

She's busy at night but what really worries me are the days. She doesn't sleep well. Tossing and turning. I always keep an eye on her. So what can Cookie do? Well I make sure the flat looks a fookin mess is what I do. Keeps Blondie busy with cleaning and giving me a bollocking.

So it's like six a.m. and she just came home looking like shite and I get on my usual spot on the couch where I can watch her – she always leaves her door ajar when she doesn't have company – and suddenly she calls out I might as well get into bed with her. Says she knows I've been keeping an eye on her. Busted.

What can I do now? I make to go back to my bed when she's like I'm serious, get in here and sumthing about me and sarcasm don't mix. I get in. And we cuddle. I hold her close to me and kiss the top of her head, give her the classic Cookie monster comforting.

Suddenly, her hands are in my boxers. Ya know Cookie usually sleeps starkers but imagine Blondie's reaction if she caught me naked on the couch we share. Would probably tie my balls together. That's why I'd opted for the underwear she was tryin' a pull off me as we were lying in bed together. So I'm like, what the fook, Naomikins and pull her hand back. Not an easy thing to do if ya must know. She's a real looker even when she's trashed. She tells me she knows I've been dying to get into her pants forever and should consider it a fortunate turn of events that she happened to wear none right now. Took all my willpower to get outta her bed, go back to my room and find an old pair of Star Wars jim-jams, put those on, arms 'n legs way too short an' all and get back to Naomikins. Don't think my knob has ever have to make such a big sacrifice for friendship's sake.

When I get back, two things happen, Naomikins laughs her arse off at how I look – mission accomplished – and I tell 'er to remember I'm scum and she doesn't sleep with scum. So I tell her no touching the merchandise and get into bed again. She's like thanks for being my scumbag. Anytime, princess.

When she wakes she tells me it's the first time she actually feels energetic after sleeping since, well since she found out. So that's what we do now. Sleep in the same bed holding on to each other. She's been sleeping better, crying less. Funny how she thinks I wouldn't notice the sniffles lying right next to her. She still goes out, not as often, but longer.

One night she calls me, telling me to pick her up from a club cause she's not feeling well, so I take her bike and rush there. When I find her she looks like a fookin zombie and ya know it's still a couple weeks 'til Halloween and I'm like ready to punch the life outta the wanker that spiked her drink only she's like maybe it wasn't in the drink but in the pills she took. Thing is, she promised she'd never take drugs that aren't from me. I'd get her good, clean stuff, not whatever filthy mix you'd get in that dump where I found 'er. Even with that it's been ages. These days, Naomikins doesn't appreciate anything that goes beyond the occasional spliff. That is, up until now. I decide to spare her the bollocking and instead make her swear she'll let me take care of her narcotics supply from now on. Feel a bit like those parents that buy their kids booze to drink at home so they don't get it somewhere else. Didn't get their logic up until this moment. It's all about control, innit?

At this point I'm not sure whether she's slowly getting better or about to hit rock bottom. All I know is I'm doing all I can. I'd just have to trust she's gonna talk to me when she needs my help.

Couple days later, Red is texting me, asking to see me and I'm like think ya got the wrong person but pretty sure Naomikins doesn't wanna see ya face again anytime soon. But she insists, insists that I gotta help her. That only I can. Ya know Cookie's got a damn big weak spot when it comes to girls like Emilio so saying no was off the table. Just had to make sure Blondie wouldn't find out. She'd have my balls if she did, pull a Snape on me, tell me to overthink where my loyalties lie.

So I tell 'er I'm on a date, wanted to spice things up n shit. She just laughs in my face, says I look like a man about to break rule number seven. As if we hadn't established that's off the menu for both of us, even apart from the rules.

Emilio wantsto meet at the café downstairs and I'm like why not announce it on TV: Hey, Naomikins, in case ya missed it ya bestest mate is just meeting with the girl who screwed ya over. And not in the way ya wanted, didn't fool me there. We settle on a Burger King halfway across town instead. Naomi hates those joints, gives me shit every time I eat there. Perfect meeting point when ya got a dirty, little secret.

The first five minutes or so she keeps apologizing until I'm like cut it out, doesn't matter, just tell me what ya want. Naomi, she says, wants to talk to Naomi, asks if I think she'll forgive 'er. So the impulse is to say hell no but not even I am that blunt. Instead I go for, ya gotta listen, Red, I say, first ya gotta find out what ya really want and then ya gotta work for it. 'S not gon' be easy, won't be fun either and there's no way ya can guarantee it'll work. But it's the only way. It takes work. I takes will. And it takes time.

If ya don't have those three, get lost.

She didn't. Never seen 'er determined like that. Was always more of a watcher, that one.

Then she gets me, ya know how she does it? She says she'll do anything to fix this. Last time I checked anything was a whole fookin lot. So we make a deal, a deal for her to wait and me to tell her whenever there's something she could do. We'd keep in touch. Before I leave though I make sure to tell 'er if ya hurt my friend any more then ya got a problem the size of the Shard up ya arse.

Back home, not much changes. It takes another week for Naomi and I to get back to our regular wingmen shenanigans. Fook, how I missed my Naomi. She still isn't quite back to normal but she's definitely getting there, making fun of me again, calling me a tosser again. She's healing.

We even discuss plans for her birthday. The day after Halloween. Listen Cookie, she says, I know ya won't be there for the party but I insist we watch the parade together, ok?

Well who am I to turn down watching the city's walk of shame parade after everybody got down n dirty with strangers in costumes that show only their beautiful parts? And hide the ugly ones. I could tell ya a story or ten from back in the day when I used attend these shindigs. Not pretty. Beer goggles and costumes are a lethal mix.

Why I don't go to Halloween parties these days, ya ask? That's a story for another time. Or never. Yeah, never sounds about right.

Naomikins still hasn't decided on a costume and for some sorry reason didn't like my suggestion to just go starkers. We had to go shopping. Ya know I always know a guy, right? Well, Chris is my costume guy. Helped me out loads of times back when I did my little plays. Ah, the good ol' days.

It's down to either a slutty nurse or a slutty cop all with Blondie ranting about sexism in Halloween costumes. Bet ya she won't complain when her naughty outfit gets her laid with an eight or higher five times that night.

Wanna know what tipped the scale?

One word, a thousand images: Handcuffs.

As she changes back into her regular clothes, a shame if ya ask me, I ask Chris for a special order. But don't ya tell Naomikins 'bout it. Mustn't ruin the surprise.

We go to pay and she wants me to pick up the bill, says she's short on cash right now, swears she'll pay me back next month.

What about ya art, I ask. Is supposed to sell like crazy. Then she goes all sheepish and shit, finally admits she hasn't been too productive with painting for a bit. Not too productive for a bit turned out to mean she got nothing done in months.

Later that day, I text Emilio telling 'er to cancel all plans, she'd attend the legendary Halloween party on our roof.

She worries. Of course she'd worry. What is it with chicks and all their worrying?

_How would Naomi react?_ Well, there's a fat chance you'll meet pushover-Naomi if ya catch her in the right state of drunkness, just after Animal-rights-Naomi and before We-should-buy-a-bar-Naomi.

_What would she do if she didn't wanna talk to her?_ Make her.

_What was she even gonna wear?_ Don't worry. Cookie's got it all taken care of.

Now it's been almost two months since Scherbatsky gate and nothing much has changed. But it sure is about to.

"One question. Where's Naomi while you're telling me all this?"

"Trying to work. And failing. But I'll change that."

"You're a good friend, Cookie."

"Only with Naomi."

"See you next time?"

"See ya next time!"

* * *

**AN:** So what do you have to say to the Cookie monster?


	12. Masquerades

**AN:** Let's keep the AN short this time, yeah?

Thanks for the wonderful feedback. It's a shame I can't PM the guest reviewers. You're awesome!

Finally, Halloween! This is an important chapter. Hope you like it! Thanks for reading.

**Disclaimer:** Skins, The rules of attraction and the Nightmare before christmas all belong to people who love them less than I do.

* * *

**Twenty – Masquerades**

Halloween. What a love hate relationship I have with that holiday. As a kid it was great. There was always plenty of candy around for my birthday even though my hippie of a mum tried to raise me mostly sugar free all through elementary school. Apart from the huge, yummy pumpkin pie I'd always get for my birthday which may be the reason I'm so pumpkin crazy now.

As I got older though, it got annoying that I couldn't have a proper birthday party without costumes and all that stuff. But I guess it's not half as bad as being born around Christmas. Sorry Jesus. Well, not like that fella was really born in December. So sorry Newton, I guess.

Ever since we moved into this flat I've rediscovered my Halloween enthusiasm. Carl's traditional party on the roof would always provide me with a female present or two to commemorate my special day. The only night of the year I was flying solo because Cook hasn't been to a Halloween party in years, ever since that fateful night. Not like he ever told me the full story. But some major shit – and I'm serious enough to not even salute major shit – must've gone down for Cookie to turn down a party like this. And that's on the holiday with perhaps the highest shag-potential, apart from February13th, desperation day.

"Ritual time!" Cook came bursting into my room like he always did the morning of Halloween to have a nice, long brunch with me and get smashed before I put on my costume.

"So where are you off to tonight?"

"Haha. Nice try, Naomikins, still not gonna tell ya."

"How is it okay that your best mate doesn't get to know where it is you vanish every year? That magical, party-free place. Christ, you're not going to the library, are you?"

"I'll have ya know that the only occasion Cookie sets foot into such a place is to willy-waggle with the bookworms but–" he put his finger against his lips and made a shh-sound. "Quietly."

Talking to my best mate like that, laughing at his antics, it made me pause and realise that things were starting to feel normal again. Maybe everything, including myself, was slowly going back to the way it was B.E., before Emily. Well, I was happy with my life then, wasn't I? So bring it on.

"Ya ready to play naughty cop/nice cop?"

"Yeah, we know women dig uniforms. I'm all set for tonight. Let's just hope I get to make use of these." I pointed at the handcuffs on my belt.

We had a couple pumpkin beers and joked about all kinds of stuff, Cook filling me in on his latest shags in a little too much detail. The same procedure as every year. Perfect.

"Time to go, Blondie!" Cook announced when we were sufficiently inebriated. "Will ya be ok without the Cookie monster to help ya get laid?" His way of asking if I've recovered enough from what happened at game night for him to leave me to fend for myself.

"We both know that if anything you'd be counterproductive to my game." I playfully nudged him in the side. Thanks for the concern, Cookie. I'll be ok.

I climbed up on the roof and found there was already quite a crowd, so hopefully no slim pickings for tonight. Time to scan the seasonal offers. First I spot Cinderella, you always have a Cinderella. Last year we had a hen night, all of them dressed as Disney princesses. Let's just say I figured out the access details needed to shag Arielle and later helped the bride – Cinderella, of course – have one last adventure before throwing herself into the confines of marriage.

Speaking of Disney. In my peripheral vision I could detect Sally approaching me from the side. Sally as in Jack and Sally from _The Nightmare before Christmas_, an all-time favourite of mine.

"Found anyone to screw yet?" Her deep voice – calm to the point of indifference – cut through the night air like a knife through butter. All the commotion from the other party goers and the noise from the boom boxes Carl had put up tuned out. She looked stunning. Those legs. I don't remember movie Sally wearing fishnets and Doc Martens but she had an attitude about her that had the power to make you believe anything.

"Depends on how much you like what you see. " I decided on an aggressive tactic seeing as Sally didn't seem the type to mess around.

Her answer was to somewhat magically produce a pack of smokes and a lighter from her bra putting one coffin nail between her lips with effortless elegance.

"No thanks." I'd rather bum a drag later. More flirt potential.

Sally just sat there and smoked. It felt like we were in a bubble separating us from everyone else. It was her. Shagging in that bubble sure would be a good way to mark the day I'm back to normal. "You mind if I bum a drag?"

"Not falling for that." She held out the pack to me.

"Shame." I tried to shrug off the feeling of being caught in the act. Must be off my game a bit. "You know it's ok if you're straight. I don't hate. You'd get along great with my mate. Got a Jack the lad tattoo. He could be the Jack to your Sally." I winked.

"So are these for fun or to keep your victims from running?" Somehow she must have worked the handcuffs loose from my belt without me noticing. And I wasn't even half as smashed as I'd planned on getting tonight.

"Who says those two are mutually exclusive?" I smiled mischievously trying to break through her cool appearance.

_Click._ "Fun."

"Here's someone you'll get along with." She lead me by the handcuffs over to the improvised bar. Someone had brought a pumpkin pie. Who brings pie to this kind of party? It did look tempting though.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Some chick in a pumpkins costume – a slutty pumpkin costume of course with strategically placed holes and a pumpkin helmet that covered her face, nice tits though – came up to us yelling at Sally. Call me old-fashioned but normally I exchange names before letting someone put shackles on me.

_Click._ I found myself handcuffed to the pumpkin girl and Sally was gone as suddenly as she gad appeared.

Click. This time it was in my head. How did I not recognize that voice before? She took off her helmet confirming my suspicion. Emily fucking Fitch. In the flesh.

"Believe it or not I dislike this situation as much as you do."

"I have a fundamental problem with believing anything you say."

"Can't blame you." She looked at our involuntarily connected wrists sheepishly.

"The truth at last." I sighed.

"So are you just gonna keep commenting on the one biggest mistake of my life or are we gonna get the keys for these?" she held up her wrist, pulling mine up with it.

"How do you even know these are mine?"

"A: You're dressed as a cop. B: I may have been watching you."

"More like stalking."

"Well, you're very stalkable."

So we climbed down the ladder to the flat as best we could and I practically dragged her to my room. I'd locked my door like I always did when these parties were on so no one would "accidentally" end up in there. Live with Cook and you learn to be cautious.

I looked in the book where I'd always hide my key only to find it wasn't there.

"Fucking Cook must've stolen it!" To say I was pissed would be like saying the British weather had a slight tendency to be a tad moist. I began throwing book after book out of the shelf knowing exactly I wouldn't find the key in them but it did help me let out my frustration.

"Stop!" Emily held both my wrists in her hands. "You'll ruin those." She pointed at the books.

"Then what the hell do we do now."

As if on cue Emily's phone rang with a text alert. I couldn't see the sender but it read: _Get your shit together._

"Can we by any chance sit down for a bit in Cook's room?" Emily asked, almost timidly.

"We'll have to see about finding a spot that's not covered in dirty clothes but seeing as I'm stuck with you until that tosser comes home we might as well sit down." What other option was there?

Thus we found ourselves sitting awkwardly on my best mate's surprisingly clean bed. Cook doesn't have any other seats in his room because he believes having guests sit on his bed will get them ready for action. I sent him a quick but angry text to get his arse here and bring my key back to me asap.

"You know I actually don't wanna sit here. I wanna be on the roof, find a shag and forget that I ever trusted you." Stupid booze making me too open and honest for my own good.

"You know what? I'll make you a deal. You let me explain–"

"Why the fuck would I?"

"Because I ask you to. And we're in a situation where we need to be cooperative."

"Fucking hell!" I sighed.

"So you let me explain. And you listen. Once I'm finished we can go back upstairs and you can go about your business as if I weren't there. At least now you can't throw me off the roof."

"How do I know you'll really do as you say?"

"You'll have to take my word for it."

"That's not worth much to me at this point."

"If you just listen I think you'll find I never lied to you."

"That's just–" I was about to go into an extended rant about how she betrayed me and didn't even deserve the opportunity to talk to me but was stopped my her finger on my lips, silencing me.

"I'm not saying I didn't make a mistake. I did. A goddamn big one, I have to admit. All I'm asking is that you listen. Will you?"

For some strange reason I didn't even contemplate my options, for once not over-thinking, and just nodded.

"Thank you." She gave me a small smile. "It is true. The reason I first approached you was for research. You see, I study psychology. I'm Rivers' T.A. and you have no idea how hard it is to get and keep that position. I needed to deliver. That's where Effy comes in. We met during my internship at her psych clinic. She's a patient. Neither do I know not would I be able to tell you the details but she's got issues. Severe issues. We started hanging out a lot, she's smart and actually a good friend even though you may not suspect it with all the stuff she gets up to. She's all about mind games. Not the kind you and Cook play to get laid. That's child's play to her, no offense."

"None taken. But why are you telling me all this?" I was getting impatient but also somewhere deep down felt like maybe I should give Emily the chance to explain.

"Because you need to know this. I take the full blame. But I want you to know what lead me to you. Turns out, Effy had an idea on where I could find a subject for my research. Get a unique inside view on an interesting case. I needed this to prove myself. To prove to everyone that I could succeed in this. So Effy led me to that bar describing who to approach when I was inside."

"Me." I pointed out the obvious.

"Cook."

"Cook?"

"Yep, Effy sent me after him. Why would she send me after you? She didn't even know you. Credit for the bottle riddle also goes to Effy. I'd never come up with that stuff. She was actually kinda pissed that I decided to focus on you."

"How did she know Cook then? She must've had it out for him for some reason."

"Believe me, I got no idea. All I know is that she had a pretty specific idea what you guys were up to. Even knew about your rules."

"I'm gonna have his balls if it turns out she's a former shag and he told her the rules, all the while nagging me to keep them a secret!" I announced more to myself than Emily. "So you did all this just to prove yourself, huh?"

"I'm not gonna bother you with the details but I don't come from the easiest of families. Maybe one day – if you can find it in you to forgive me – I can tell you more. For now all I can say is that it was never intended to be this big. I thought I'd taken care of making sure nobody – including yourself – would know it was you. It all just got out of hand. If only I could, I'd take it all back. Remember the party on the roof? When we all jumped? I'd finished my paper before that. I was not supposed to ever see you again. Get the hell out of there before you figure out what I did. But I couldn't. I would've missed you. And even Cook." She laughed a bit. "Everything after that was zero percent research, I can promise you. It was just me wanting to spend time with you guys."

"How often did you practice that speech in front of your mirror?"

"Two or three times." She admitted with a sheepish smile that I returned. "Ok, closer to ten or even twenty." We both shared a laugh at that. Suddenly she closed her eyes for a second in anticipation. "I mean every word though. Was it worth it?"

"If you're asking for forgiveness now the answer is a clear no." She visibly deflated at that. "I've got a major conflict here. After I found out what you did it was clear to me that I wanted nothing to with you ever again." I sighed. "But it's also become an inescapable truth that I can't help but like you."

She let out a deep breath. "So this means…"

"This means you get a chance. A chance to gain my trust again. But be warned: I don't believe in third chances and you don't wanna get to know Cook's overprotective side which will happen if you fuck up again."

"I won't then." She grinned. The first genuine Emily grin I'd seen in a while. Fuck, I'd missed it.

"Ok, now that this is sorted, how about we go back to the party?"

"Sounds awesome." There was her smile again. "Just one more thing: What the fuck happened there?" She pointed at Cook's bed.

"I hate to admit that Cook is actually lame enough to put notches in his bedpost." I couldn't help but laugh. "He's been doing this since he's fourteen. This bed has been through a lot."

"A fuckload, I'd say. Those must be hundreds." She smiled though. Her previous contempt at our antics seemingly gone.

"He is a pig. But a lovely one." I summed up my best mate's personality.

"Amen."

We went back upstairs, now a bit more practiced at climbing the fire ladder while being handcuffed together. Only it didn't make much sense to try and shag anyone with Emily chained to me, so instead we went for drinks. Emily also took a piece of the pumpkin pie and we sat down on a big beanbag.

"You really should have some of this." Emily said through a mouthful of pumpkin pie.

"Well, if you insist." I gave in in fake-annoyance and she fed me a fork-full. "Damn, this is actually pretty good."

"Happy birthday!" she grinned like it was her own birthday.

"You made this for me?" I asked, almost spitting out my pie in realisation. She just nodded.

"Wow, thank you." I hugged her to thank her for her efforts. Seriously, if you wanna get in my good books just cook or bake for me. Works every time. "Wait, how did you even know it's my birthday?" It had been for an hour now.

"Cook told me. He also invited me here."

"Ah, I see. You guys conspired against me, didn't you?" I joked. "Speak of the devil, that vibration better be a text from him telling me where to find the keys. It was. He'd hidden them in the fridge. Where else to look for keys, right?

So we went downstairs and got into my room where the keys for the handcuffs where waiting readily on my nightstand.

"No paintings this time?" Emily asked while I opened them.

"Maybe next time."

"Next time, huh?" she teased.

"Friends sometimes hang out in each other's rooms, don't they?"

"Yeah, friends do." She grinned.

"Friends also help each other get laid after being chained together all night, right?" My way of asking if she'd be my wingman, wingwoman, once more.

"Sure."

"I'd say we go back upstairs, then."

There I was, finally free again, still looking hot in my slutty cop uniform with a wingwoman by my side and inebriated women around. Nothing could possibly stand in the way of a birthday shag, right?

Only, the party was already half-dead. A huge part of the interested singles had already found someone for tonight. There were only about a dozen girls that seemed to be available so I made a little tour to introduce myself. Half an hour later it was confirmed.

"They're all straight!" I complained to Emily. "Looks like I won't get lucky tonight."

"It's funny how you managed to hit on pretty much every girl you met tonight. Yet you never hit on me."

"Well, you're straight."

"What makes you think I'm straight?"

"You telling me that exact same thing about a dozen times?" I raised my eyebrows in mock question.

"I never said I was straight!" she had the audacity to laugh in my face.

"Those were like the first words out of your mouth!"

"You sure?"

"Yeah!?" I snorted.

She stepped closer to me, so close I could almost feel her breath on my face "Are. You. Absolutely. Fucking. Sure?" Her pose was intimidating despite her lack of height.

That's when it clicked. "You only ever said you were–"

"Not gay." She turned away from me. I grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"You know what? The games have been entertaining, I'll give you that, but this… you don't get to do this! Stop playing!" I almost pleaded. The thunderstorm caused by her previous words still roaring in my head.

Her expression was as challenging as her words: "Give me one good reason why." She pulled her arm away.

"Because…" That's when I broke. It may have been the alcohol or just a tiny lapse in judgment. But I didn't care. Not as I lunged forward, wrapped my hands around her neck and pressed my lips against hers passionately for the tiniest fraction of a second.

I pulled away, holding her face in my hands and gave her a shy smile. Her eyes were closed and all my years of watching and evaluating women's expressions proofed to be useless. I had no way of telling how she felt about what I'd just done.

"Because of this!?" I asked more than stated seeking her eyes out with my own as she finally opened them.

She slowly nodded causing my grin to grow impossibly bigger. I slowly caressed her nose with the tip of mine, my eyes fascinated by her soft features.

"Downstairs?" Her voice was even huskier than usual.

Grabbing her hand I led her into the flat.

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**AN:** So you have probably noticed by now that I suck at writing angst. That's partly why the conflict is so quickly resolved. But then, is it really?

Let me know your thoughts in the little box, will you? I love all the feedback I get.

Enough shameless begging for reviews. See you next chapter!


	13. A rude awakening

**AN: **You guys are fucking awesome for all your wonderful reviews. Thanks so much! Makes me smile like crazy.

If you wanna read a unique, wonderful story I can only recommend **Paradise Hotel** by** LilyCanBeMyPyjamas** which has more than just a Naomily story line to offer, so if you haven't read that, you should. And leave her some nice words while you're at it, won't you?

The biggest thank you goes to **Fitcherella** for preventing me from messing this up by writing it in Naomi's POV and for general awesomeness. *salutes*

This chapter is for** PlatinumRosewood** in hopes that it makes her smile.

Here we go. This may or may not be what you expected...

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**Twenty-one – A rude awakening**

**Emily POV**

When I was a teenager I never got hangovers – oh how I miss those blissful days. The bitch of a headache I was suffering through now felt like it was from another world. And somehow I think my alcohol consumption wasn't even the primary cause for it.

Last night had been… eventful, to say the least.

Just going to the party had taken so much willpower. Cook had told me it'd be alright, that – in his words – Naomikins was a huge marshmallow, especially for redheads. Still, I couldn't help but feel less optimistic than him. There were just too many things that could go wrong. What if she kicked me out? Not before throwing her drink in my face of course. Or if she simply didn't listen to what I had to say? I could hardly blame her. But somewhere deep down I still had an ounce of hope that if I got the chance to explain, if she would hear me out, I'd have a chance of fixing this. And god knows I needed to fix this.

Despite my best efforts – and my resolution to stop meeting up with Cook and Naomi after my research was done, so as to not make a bad thing worse – I hadn't stopped. By the time they'd started their seven fucks in a week game me being at their flat had become as certain as if I'd been a piece of their furniture. And I missed it. Damn, did I miss it. Why didn't I stop myself in time before getting so attached to these two? Right, because I was on a mission that I mustn't abort. That's what you get when you don't have your priorities straight. Or not so straight. Fuck, that reminds me, Naomi knows now.

So I convinced myself that not going to the party would be the worst option. I couldn't give up.

Upon arrival, I looked around trying to find her. Cook had refused to tell me what costume she'd be wearing, only that I'd like what I see, so I had no clue what to be on the look-out for. Before I drove myself insane worrying whether Naomi would even show her face or considering this was a set-up – No, Cook wouldn't do that to me, would he? He's not that cruel – I choose to have a drink or ten while I was waiting.

As I was finishing my third glass, I started to feel more relaxed and even enjoyed the view of the clear night sky for a bit before I went to make myself another drink. That's when I saw her – What the hell was Effy Stonem doing here? Ok, so I might have used her shoulder to cry on when this horrible thing I did blew up in my face. Thus she knew I'd be here tonight. And with her psychic abilities it's safe to say she knew I didn't want her to come with me and stir shit up. I went over to confront her and before I knew it I found myself handcuffed to a very pissed-off, very sexy cop Naomi.

Somehow, miraculously, Effy's meddling with my personal business turned out for the best this time.

_We were stumbling through the living room unwilling to detach our lips from each other for even the short time we needed to get to the couch and fall down on it. I started to unbutton her shirt. Christ, this uniform did all sorts of things to me. Very, very good things. But it had to go now. _

"_Christ, you're hot!" I couldn't help but let her know as I uncovered the skin on her upper body looking so perfectly kissable. _

"_You're not so bad yourself" she commented "but let's take this to my bedroom. Otherwise Cook might just think he's welcome to join us when he comes home." So we went to her room. _

"_I really fucking love pumpkin." She looked deep into my eyes and asked "Is this ok?" as she began lifting my costume. I nodded in response and she made short work of the slutty pumpkin and threw it to the side leaving me in only my leggings and underwear. _

_She gently pushed me onto her bed by the shoulders and looked me up and down with a glint in her eyes that I'd never seen until now before she lunged forward and landed on top of me with her legs in between mine. We kissed more and more heatedly, tongues swirling in a rush, nothing like the chaste peck we had just shared on the roof. Then she moved her lips along my jaw, up until she was nibbling on my ear lobe. _

"_Christ, Naoms, that feels so good." I almost moaned._

"_This will feel even better." She started kissing down my neck paying special attention to my collarbone which made my already racing heart speed up some more._

_After kissing further down my body, she dipped her tongue into my navel and explored some more. She moved her hands behind my back wanting to open my bra._

"_It opens at the front." I commented and popped the hook open to assist her. _

"_Hey! Next time I'll open my gifts myself! With a smile she came back up to kiss me deeply, then pulled back a bit and just looked at me. If I hadn't known better I would've sworn I saw a hint of nervousness in her eyes. Then she shook her head the tiniest bit. Barely noticeable._

"_Naoms? What is it?"_

"_What?"_

"_You're thinking something."_

"_It's ironic." She gave a little laugh. "I'm about to have sex with the hottest woman I know and my mind brings up Cook." Why would she think of Cook now? She's gay and they're just mates, right? My confusion must have shown on my face because Naomi was quick to add: "Not that way. It's just, he doesn't think so much, just acts. I wish I were a bit more like him right now."_

"_Oh." Thank fucking god. "I can come up with a thing or two we could do to make your mind shut up." I gave her a quick kiss. "So, hottest woman you know, huh?" _

_Apparently she needed no further encouragement as she sealed her lips around my nipple and put her hand to work on the other. I was on fire, unsure how much more I could take before I would explode if she didn't get into my pants soon. _

"_Christ, I want you so much." Oh was that feeling ever mutual._

"_Oh yeah, fuck me!" I husked into her ear as she was sucking on my neck. _

_She froze and stopped what she was doing. _

"_What's the matter?" I was out of breath. _

"_I… I'm sorry. I can't do this. This is all wrong."_

"_What? You want me to fuck you first?" Hell, I thought she'd wanted to top me with the way she behaved but it's not like I'd mind switching places._

"_No." She made to get up but I held her down by the shoulders. Still she managed to pull away enough to look at me, a serious expression on her face. "I don't want anybody to fuck anyone."_

"_Well that's just fucking great, isn't it? You get me all worked up just to tell me half of this city is good enough for you, but I'm not? You know what? Go fuck yourself! Cause I sure as hell won't!" I picked up the costume and held it up to cover me chest. I had to get out of there a.s.a.p. No time to get dressed. _

_There's times when things go as planned. And then there's tonight. Of course I couldn't simply leave the flat and be angry at Naomi in peace. _

"Oi Red!" What'ya doin 'ere at this time of night?"

"Cook?" Yes, it was. In nothing but his underwear. And I was topless, tightening my grip on the costume to spare myself further embarrassment. And my bra was still in Naomi's room. Fuck, she could keep it but right now that left me with very insufficient clothing.

"I just went to take a wiz an' there y'are. Lookin' good, Emilio, lookin'very good." He raked his eyes up and down my body.

"Thanks Cookie, but I think I'll continue looking good somewhere else if you'll excuse me."

"Ya still comin' over for brunch later, right? Watch the parade and all?"

"I'll give it some thought." Christ, I needed to get out of here, have a good cry and forget I ever knew Naomi.

"Nah, no thinking. Y'are comin. End of discussion."

"I really don't think I can." My voice broke and I looked down to hide my eyes getting glassy. But not even Cook is that imperceptive. In fact, he probably is many things people don't give him credit for.

"What's the matter?" he asked as he put his arms around me in a bear hug that could've rivaled my father's. "Did Blondie fook up?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I sobbed into his shoulders.

"Tell ya what, Cookie will sort it. You come to brunch later. No excuses, ya hear me? I'll have words with Naomikins. Now go get some sleep and don't ya dare object the divine intervention of the Cookie monster."

"Come back to bed, sweetie! I'm waiting." So Cook obviously had brought some skank home with him and said skank was demanding his attention. Loudly. Nothing new.

But wait, I knew that voice even through a closed door. And that lisp. Holy…

"Fucking hell, what are you doing with my sister?" I made to storm into his bedroom.

"Listen Red! Ya really don't wanna go inside there now, trust me." He scratched the back of his neck nervously. I thought Cook doesn't do nervous. "Must be a first, me tryna keep a beautiful bird like ya away from me bed. And that's when I could collect a pair of twins…"

"Shut up, Cook." I was ready to tackle my way through if necessary. Never underestimate me just for being pocket-sized or you'll most likely regret it.

"Y'are right. Besides, Blondie would have me balls and Cookie's rather fond of those."

That gave me pause.

"Why would she? She's obviously not interested in me." I was still too intoxicated and upset to keep it in.

Cook visibly deflated and I used that short moment to run around him and throw open his bedroom door. Like I said, don't underestimate me.

I was greeted by a side to behold: My naked twin – so far nothing I hadn't seen hundreds of times before and not just because I've got similar equipment, Katie and I had to share a room way up until we got our A-levels, many unpleasant memories there – hands chained to Cook's headboard, a halo made of feathers on her head. Looks like someone had tried to fool people into thinking she's an angel when she's anything but innocent.

I couldn't help but laugh and let my own costume fall forgetting for a moment that I wasn't in the most fortunate of situations myself. As luck would have it, I spotted Katie's bra hanging from Cook's bedside lamp – don't tell me he can actually read – where it from the looks of it had been thrown haphazardly in a rush of lust or whatever it was that connected my sister and Cook. It wasn't even leopard print but white lace, thank God, probably goes with the rest of the angel outfit.

"I'm sure you don't mind if I borrow this, right Katiekins?" I said in a fake sweet voice. "If you do, just snatch it back from me, right?"

"Don't you dare, you fucking cow!" She tried to kick me for lack of mobility in her arms but failed.

"Thanks, for being such a supporting sister." I added sarcastically as I put on the bra an put my costume back on now feeling somewhat covered again.

"From what I hear we're not the only ones who played with handcuffs tonight. I bet ya could always get ya own bra back from Blondie's room." Cook piped up. I hadn't even noticed his presence. Someone had been awfully quiet.

"Shut up!" Katie and I yelled in unison though for completely different reasons I was sure. Katie didn't know about my more than platonic interest in women and now certainly wasn't a good time to change that.

"Y'are alright, Emilio? Lookin' a bit pale there." Cook had to make sure my sister noticed my discomfort.

"Oh please Emily, I'm your twin. Did you really think I wouldn't notice? Christ, your half of the room was covered in pics of half-naked girls and you didn't even look twice at the hot blokes on my wall. You used to have better taste by the way. You could do way better than that little player you're crushing on."

"I… I'm not…" Was this really happening? What the hell? If this was all a dream I'd like to wake up now. It seemed to be real though. So what was I to do? Deny it all? Or risk being rejected by my own sister. "I'm not crushing on her."

"But you like her, don't you? And don't you dare tell me you don't like girls. I think it's time you trust me enough to be honest with me." She was surprisingly relaxed regarding the situation she was in. Was Cook that good? Practice does make perfect, I guess.

"Well, now that I know more about your kinks…" I said down next to her on the bed. "I guess it's only fair that you know." Now it was out, her suspicion confirmed. Shit. I closed my eyes hoping if only I wished for it hard enough I'd dematerialize on the spot and find myself back in my bed waking up from this nightmare.

"It's ok, you know? I can't say I always thought so but I've had quite a few years to get used to the thought. I've known since we were twelve." She'd known all this time… "Now will you free my arms so I can give you a proper Fitch hug?" She nodded towards the keys laying on the nightstand. So I took those and opened the handcuffs. A tiny part of me still wasn't fully convinced that this was gonna be so easy. Katie could be quite cunning. Would she proceed to catch my eyes out once she was free? Guess I had to trust her. What other choice did I have now, anyway?

To my slight surprise, she actually went to hug me tight and whispered in my ear. "You might be a lezza bitch that stole my bra but you'll always be my sister no matter what, ok?" Christ, what had happened to Katie? Maybe I had missed out by keeping only minimum contact with her over the last years.

"Thanks sis." was all I managed to articulate to express my gratitude.

"Now that's what I like to see. Just so ya know Cookie's always up for the twin thing. So's not-so-little little Cook." He pointed towards his crotch.

This earned him a smack on the side of his head and as it turned out my twin had had the same idea as me and attacked the other side.

Now that the excitement of the night had died down I noticed how exhausted I was.

"I really gotta go get some sleep." I yawned. "Will I see you at brunch later?" I asked my sister.

"No, I'm not ready to watch you and whatshername look at each other with heart-shaped eyes all through breakfast."

I sighed to myself. I doubt there'll be much of that.

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**AN:** So how was it? Are you super mad that there was no smut (yet) or is nice and slow ok with you?


	14. A new arrangement

**AN: **Hi everyone! I'm incredibly sorry this has taken me so long. There are reasons for it (visiting Hurrican festival which was awesome but predictably resulted in uni demanding loads of my attention and also I'm terribly in love with someone awesome). I won't bore you with the details though.

I hope you're still willing to read this. It's a bit short but when you get to the end I think you'll notice why I ended it where I did.

Nothing more to say other than that I'm super excited about the next chapter myself and optimistic that it won't take me a month to update this time.

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**Twenty-two – A new arrangement**

**Naomi POV**

The morning of my birthday I woke up to a knocking on my door. Before I could even react Cook came storming into my room.

"Earth to Blondie, get your shit together!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" There was no way he could know about yesterday's events, so I played clueless.

"Ya know, I might not be the brightest crayon in the box but even I know Emilio leaving here crying at five in the morning is a bad sign! And here I thought everything was gonna be just fookin dandy after what ya texted me last night."

"What? Did she say something to you?" She hadn't told him, had she? Oh God, what if she did?

"Nothing, she just sobbed a lot. Barely let Uncle Cook give her a proper bear hug!"

Relief and sadness both overcame me. At least Cook didn't know about what happened. But I had hurt Emily and our friendship immensely. Maybe beyond repair.

"What happened, Naomi?" He must be really pissed to call me that.

"Why are you mad at me?" Genius, right? How would he possibly know it was me who had caused this?

"I am mad at ya because ya weren't a friend. I know we slack off the rules a bit from time to time, but number one was always sacred, innit? And little Red has become our bro, hasn't she? Despite what she did. Damnit, why weren't you there for her?"

"I… I don't know." I choked out. Cook had no idea how right he was. I had let Emily down.

"Anyway. Ya can make up for that now. I invited her for brunch, should be here in a bit. No shagging in the living room though or I won't be held responsible for my actions." He winked through the half-closed door.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuckety fuck. I didn't have much time to prepare for what I was about to face. But I made the best of the few minutes I had and got dressed quickly. Luckily, last night didn't seem to have left much visual evidence of all its turbulences.

_It was quite a few years ago, the day out tradition of watching the parade as we called it – the people of London doing the walk of shame – while having brunch. The first time we did it, it was Cook's spontaneous idea._

_I was coming back home on the morning of my birthday looking worse for wear and Cookie – I don't know how he does it – was already awake and ready to give me the third degree._

"_So what did ya get up to, Naomikins! I want all the dirty details!"_

"_Don't ask. Chick turned out to be a complete lunatic. It was all good in the beginning. We went to her place, did our thing, decent shag and all–"_

"_Indecent, ya mean."_

"_Well whatever. I should've left right then, but no, I was too tired and fell asleep. When I woke up, this girl was clinging to me like her life depended on it. Impossible to get out of there unnoticed. Of course she woke when I tried to leave. Talked about the great future she was imagining for us." I was completely and utterly exhausted and hugged my best friend for support. "Why do they have to be crazy, Cook?"_

"_Y'are not gonna like my answer." He patted my back. "Because they're women." That earned him a punch in the ribs as I sighed in his ear._

"_Maybe you're right. But it could be worse. I could be straight shagging the likes of you."_

"_Hey! I offered!"_

"_Profusely."_

"_Ya know, the Cookie monster might just know the right thing to cheer you up!"_

_To cheer me up, Cook put on a princess Peach costume – I don't even wanna begin to wonder where he got that from – and made me brunch. Full English. Best cure for a hangover. And thus, the tradition was born._

I'd just finished making myself presentable when Emily arrived, Cook welcoming her with his trademark over-enthusiasm while I was unsure of how to greet her. Lately, we'd made a habit of hugging each other hello but what if she wasn't comfortable enough to do that after what had happened last night? It's not like I could blame her if she was actually fucking mad at me.

"Hi Naomi!" Neutral tone, body language giving nothing away. Damn it. Act.

"Er… hi!" Brilliant. Moron. I stretched out my arms in a motion somewhere between initiating a hug and shaking her hand and she took my right and shook it slowly looking me straight into the eye. Her eyes conveyed she had noticed my awkwardness. Brunch sure was going to be weird.

"Wow, Cook, that food is looking great!" Emily exclaimed as she got up on the roof where Cook had put up a table so the three of us could comfortably indulge in the greasy goodness he had prepared for us. So the real Emily – or who I thought was the real Emily, the kind of person that gets excited about little things like food – was still in there somewhere. Only she didn't show any warmth towards me.

I kept silent for most of the meal, only stopping to compliment Cook's culinary talents, while he made small talk with Emily who was almost acting as if I weren't even there as I was barely feeling well enough to enjoy my baked beans.

"By the way, what are the binoculars for?"

"Good thing ya mention it, always gotta keep an eye on the street, ya know? I suggest ya take first watch while I go get Birthday Blondie's gift." He went on to explain to Emily how we were looking for people returning from their regrettable one-night-stands, looking worse for wear in last night's get-up and all. I zoned out for a moment trying to figure out a way to make this whole situation less awkward. Should I simply address the elephant in the room while Cook was downstairs? Or go on like nothing had happened? That's what I wanted, really. For things to be the way they were before everything went downhill. Maybe I could just joke with Cook like Emily wasn't even there and make up stories concerning what the participants of this year's Halloween walk of shame parade had spent had gotten up to last night. Anything had to be better than this awkward silence.

I was just clearing my throat getting ready to speak, despite the fact that I was still at a complete and utter loss as to what I was going to say, when I heard Cook announcing "Ya're gonna love this, Naomikins!" and presented me with a box wrapped in pink flowery paper.

"Couldn't find anything more gay, could you?" I smiled at him.

"Ya just wait til ya see what's inside!" I quickly unwrapped the present finding it contained a strap-on. "Since ya haven't shown any interest in my dick since the other night I thought Cookie had to find another way of providing you with cock."

"You're a knob. Thanks though." I gave him my first genuine smile of the day and hugged him close.

"Wait, what? You guys slept with each other?" Emily had let the binocular's sink and stared at us – still in a hugging position – in disbelief.

"Nah, just almost." Cook shrugged. Christ, don't make it worse. My inner voice yelled at him. Unfortunately, on the outside I did nothing to stop him. "But Cook's got integrity. So he didn't take advantage of Naomi. She wasn't in a good place at all, ya know."

"Will you shut up?" I finally found my voice and slapped his arm.

"Well at least one of you got integrity." Emily scoffed. This was going too far. I could take her indifference towards me but I would not be insulted in my own home. And on my birthday.

"If you have a problem instead of being passive-aggressive you could always just talk to me. Crazy idea, I know." I snapped at her perhaps a tad too harshly.

"Oh yes, can I? Didn't seem that way yesterday!"

"Well I wasn't the one who just up and left!" Two could play this blame game. The look in her eyes told me I'd hit a nerve and made me instantly regret what I said. Time to backpaddle. "Look, can we take this somewhere more private, please?" I looked in the direction of Cook who, to his credit, had kept his loud mouth shut the entire time.

Emily nodded slightly and followed me downstairs into my room. As soon as I'd shut the door behind us the awkward silence returned, the air so thick you could've cut it with a knife.

"So about last night…" I started without knowing how to end the sentence.

"You mean about you completely humiliating me? Allowing me to come here only to see how much of a fool I could make out of myself."

Her stance was that of a lioness ready to pounce on me because I hurt one of her babies.

Suddenly, this pocket-sized woman could have intimidated me even if I'd been a six-foot body builder.

"I never meant to humiliate you." I looked into her eyes, seeing a mix of hurt and anger, the first probably resulting in the latter. "And you're not a fool."

"Well, I sure as hell feel like one."

"Can I give you something?"

"What?"

"Cook talked to me earlier today. Made sure I knew how massively I fucked up. And before anything else, I wanna apologise for that." Some of the tension faded from her face then. Now it's all or nothing. Here goes. "I made this earlier. It's not much but I was hoping you'd like it." I picked up the card I had drawn for her this morning and handed it to her.

"Aww, it's got penguins on it. I fucking love penguins." The familiar, excited grin was back on her face. So beautiful.

"Open it." I allowed myself an optimistic smile.

"_You're a perfect eleven._" She read out loud. I looked at her expectantly. "What do you mean by that?"

"You once asked me to rate you. On a scale of one to ten, remember?"

She looked down at the card, thinking. "In that case I'd say you're selling me short. I must be at least a twelve." She looked me in the eyes, her expression unreadable.

"Well the scale only goes to–" her hand on my mouth effectively stopped my lame explanation. She had stepped closer to me and was now throwing her arms around my back hugging me tight.

"Thanks for the card. It's very sweet." She let go with a lingering kiss on my cheek. "So yesterday wasn't my fault?"

"No, not at all. Would you rather have had a card that says _Sorry for not fucking you_? Cause that was an option, you know." I scratched the back of my neck nervously. The kiss had left me light-headed.

"You're a dork."

"I've been told as much." I smiled at her. Looks like it worked, she didn't seem to be mad at me anymore. "So where do we go from here?"

"What is it that you want?" Emily asked. "From me, I mean." She looked down at her feet, suddenly shy again.

"After all that has happened these last weeks, I think we need to start fresh. I wanna get to know you. The real you. If you want I'd like to take you somewhere."

"Like a date?"

"I don't do dates. You know that."

"What do you wanna do, then?"

"Take you somewhere nice and talk about all kinds of stuff. Figuring out what this is between us."

"Sorry to burst you bubble, Naomi, but you wanna date me."

"What is this? You asking me to ask you out on a date?"

"Yes, Naomi Campbell. Would you do me the honour of taking me out on a date?" She bit her lip cheekily.

"Well, I can hardly say no now, huh?"

"Yep, I got you trapped."

"Ok, two questions, then. First: How do you feel about Harry Potter?"

"Fucking love it."

"And you're not just saying that because I asked? Because I really wanted to take you to that anti witchcraft protest." I joked.

"Well in that case, count me out. Potter rules. No discussions." She smiled at me. "What's the second question?"

"This is gonna seem weird. Ok, wanna do this on a weekday, preferably early. So I'd have to pick you up at nine or earlier."

"Ok… well, how about next Wednesday?"

"You're not even gonna ask what we'll be doing at such a strange time?"

"I figured if you were gonna tell me you already would have."

"Damn, you got me."

"And also, I wanna be surprised by you."

"Don't worry, I will. And you're sure you like Potter?"

"If you're nice enough I may even show you my Potter tattoo."

"I know you're bluffing."

"How?" she raised her eyebrows challenging me.

"I saw you in a bikini. No tats in sight."

"So you were checking me out, huh?" she stepped closer to me once more.

"Can you blame me?"

"I guess not." She shrugged her shoulders. "What with me being an eleven and all." She moved even closer and whispered in my ear. "What if I told you the tattoo was in a place where the bikini would cover it?" and kissed my cheeks once more, leaving me dumbfounded.

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**AN:** So next chapter: A date planned by the woman who doesn't date. Feel free to tell me what you'd like to happen in the reviews.

See you soon!


	15. Do you believe in magic?

**AN: **Hi! What's that? A new update in the old weekly rhythm? Why, yes indeed. I'm almost finished with the semester (still have to study for some exams though) so I should be able to update regularly again provided I don't get a case of writer's block.

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Special thanks once more to **Fitcherella** for helping me out so much and reading my stuff before anyone to make sure I don't publish complete rubbish.

On the menu today: Some pre-date nerves and the first part of the date which will surely take up at least one more chapter.

**Warning:** Major nerd alert. I hope you like this. Anyone who's not into Potter should go read the books, then watch the movies and then come back here. Or just leave it.^^

Everyone ready?

**Disclaimer:** Surprisingly, Harry Potter, along with Skins, How I met your mother and The rules of attraction, does not fall into teh category of things I own. Bummer, I know.

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**Twenty-three – Do you believe in magic?**

What the fuck?!

That about sums up my thoughts for the rest of my birthday. After Emily had left, I took a few minutes to gather my bearings before I went back up on the roof to rejoin Cook.

"Where'd Emilio go?"

"Home, I guess." I shrugged trying to seem nonchalant.

"Ya saying things went tits up?" he was squinting one eye shut as if to guard himself from an unpleasant truth.

"No… actually." I picked up a fork from the table and spun it around. "Things went pretty great."

"Cheers to that!" my best mate toasted before taking a sip from his beer. "Then why are ya looking so concerned?"

"The thing is… somehow… I must've gone temporarily insane, right? What other explanation is there? We're going on a date."

"Ya're shitting me, right? Nice one, Blondie!" he slapped his thigh in an exaggerated manner.

"No bollocks." I looked at him sternly.

"Fookin 'ell, this' gonna be good."

"Damn, Cook, don't take the piss. I'm at a fuckin loss here!" I paced around the roof running my hand through my hair in exasperation. "What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Lemme tell ya what ya gonna do." Cook came over and put his arm around my shoulders. "Ya're gonna sit down, finish your food and have sum drinks with the Cookie monster. Ya're gonna have a fookin brilliant birthday and somehow in the meantime you'll realize having a date with Emilio is exactly what ya want." He guided me to my chair and we fell into easy conversation like we always did.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about this. You missed out at the party. There was a chick that would've been right up your ally." I told him as I was chasing the last bits of food down with a sip of beer. "But then again, who isn't?"

"Ya know, lately I've been feeling like there could be something bigger out there. Don't get me wrong, I got superb pussy as always. Still, I kind a feel like a challenge would help."

"Well, how about I challenge you to find that chick and give her a good, old Cookie seeing-to."

"Challenge accepted."

"Good luck. She was completely immune to the Campbell charms."

"Now tell me what to look for, Blondie!" he beat his index fingers against the edge of the table in anticipation. Always eager when it comes to shagging.

"I know it's in your nature but don't fool yourself and think this is gonna be easy. Because it's not. This girl is at least a nine and she knows it. About as tall as I am. Blue eyes but not like mine. Darker. Very skinny but not so much that you'd think you're boning a stick."

He rubbed his hands, obviously already undressing her in his mind before he even knew what she had on. "And I don't know how similar her every day clothing is to what she was wearing for Halloween but she was dressed as Sally from Nightmare before Christmas. I even did some ground for you. Told her she could trade Skellington for Jack the lad." I was about to raise my hand for a highfive but thought better of it as I saw his face fall.

"Bet's off." He threw his hands on the table. "Can't do it."

"What? Are you intimidated? That's gotta be a first." I joked, but his sour expression didn't change.

"Nah, seriously. I'm not gonna go after this chick."

"Why not? I swear she's hot. I wasn't exaggerating." I threw my hands up in defense.

"That's not it. Ya listen, Blondie." He put his hands on mine. Normally, the only kind of calming gesture Cook does comes in form of a bear hug. "Ya know… tha nigh' 'e vanished..." His accent became even stronger than usual when he was getting emotional and speaking about stuff like… him. The name had long been wordlessly declared a taboo a while ago. "… that Halloween…" He took a long sip of his beer, effectively downing it in one go. "…he went as Jack Skellington."

That was new. The night his former wingman vanished without a trace had always been a sore topic for Cook. We didn't talk about it much because my best mate isn't a fan of dwelling on the events of the past. Still, I could tell it pained him deeply until this day. Possibly every single day.

Instead of saying anything or going to comfort him, I wordlessly opened another couple of beers, put one in front of him and clinked mine against it. "Cheers."

We spend the day drinking, not a bad way to spend your birthday and around midnight I was so trashed I hated my past self for failing to make sure future Naomi wouldn't have to work the next day.

It wasn't until the next day that the panic starts. Fuck. I got a date. The fact that it was with Emily didn't exactly help calm my nerves. At least I had a plan, right? Well, if knowing where I'd take her is enough to qualify as a plan. Other than that: Nothing.

I went to Cook's door and listened for any sign of him being awake but didn't hear a thing. I tried the door thinking maybe he way simply being quiet. Cook and quiet, right. This whole Emily situation must be killing my brain cells.

"Cook?" I whispered into the darkened room.

"Wha? What?" I could hear his sleepy voice. "I'm up. Cookie's up."

"Cookie, I need you." I sat down on the side of his bed.

"Ya mean ya need me to not be mad at you for waking me, right?" He sat up whipping the sleep from his eyes.

"That too."

"What is it, Naomikins?" I could see in his eyes that he now was wide awake. That's the kind of friend Cook is. Always there when you need him. Come what may.

"It's about Emily."

"Well blow bubble up my bollocks and call me Shirley. Guess what? I figured as much. Ya panicking, aren't ya?"

"Hell yes. And now I gotta go to work and I know I'll be thinking about her all day."

"So ya come to the Cookie monster for a distraction?"

"Please." I screwed my eyes shut.

"Ok, uncle Cookie is gonna tell you some of those lame jokes you pretend not to love so you can think of those when Emilio invades ya mind."

"Thanks Cookie." I kiss his cheek.

"Ya know, if ya really wanna thank me, do something for little Cookie – who ya're leaning dangerously close to, by the way – and draw me some pictures of what ya gonna do to Red."

Slap. "Not gonna happen." Slap. "You pig." Slap.

"Ya love me." He grinned even though I had just slapped him three times, hard.

"I'm clearly losing my mind."

Say what you want about him – an believe me, there are quite a lot of women in this city who have a lot of unfavourable things to say about James Cook or whatever alter ego he used when he seduced them – but his lame jokes saved what sanity I had left and before I knew it it was Wednesday morning. Date day.

Luckily, I'd had enough foresight to get the inevitably long process of picking an outfit done the night before – yeah, that totally was smart thinking, not the nervousness getting the best of me. It felt like my life way turning into one of those cheesy films about high school girls who lose it when they finally get a date with the captain of the football team. Only their football is weird. And so are their teen movies.

So I got ready in relatively short time considering I got a date. How would I even know that? It's not like there's anything to reference. As I went to put on my favourite sneakers – there was no point in putting on uncomfy shoes to look good, not with what I had planned; I had let Emily know that in an only slightly panicky text last night – I found a sticky note inside one of the shoes.

_Have a good day. Ya got that bird. ;)_

Did I mention there's nothing better than the Cookie monster magic to calm me down?

I swung myself onto my motorbike and drove the short distance to Emily's place arriving twenty minutes early. Twenty minutes to panic. Fucking perfect.

In a genius plan to keep myself from pacing before her front door, I sat down on the steps and started drumming my fingers against my knees. Yeah, that's so much better.

"Hey! You're already here?" The door fell shut behind Emily with a quiet thud.

"Please tell me you didn't come down here because there was a nervous wreck on your front steps." That really helps make you look cool. Just stop talking. "You look stunning, by the way." I added, biting my lip. She did. In jeans, a university hoodie and a leather jacket. She's look good in anything. Even better in nothing. So I could find out if she was bluffing about the tattoo.

Damn, bad, bad thoughts. Focus, Naomi. With a bit of luck she won't take you for a complete imbecile.

"Thanks." She smiled that million-watt smile at me. "Good to know I'm not the only one who's a bit nervous.

"Are you comfortable with us taking the bike? It'll be about an hour. I mean, we could take the tube but…" she put her hand over my mouth to stop my nervous rambling.

"It's ok." She looked deep into my eyes, then put on her helmet and motioned for me to get on the bike with raised eyebrows. "I am many things but no coward."

I wouldn't even blame her, the heavy rain pouring onto the streets of London streets didn't promise a smooth ride. I grew up with this bad joke we call English weather so if I say heavy rain I mean fucking heavy rain. Luckily, what I'd planned for us was not an outdoor activity or this date would've been officially ruined before it even started. Christ, this was a date. Holy fuck.

This time, Emily didn't shy away from holding onto me tightly from the get-go. I tried to maneuver carefully and not drive too fast so as not to scare her. On the other hand I didn't wanna make our ride longer than necessary.

After what I guess was about an hour of driving I pulled up in the parking lot. Luckily, we didn't fall off the bike or get too wet from the rain.

"So what do you say?" I asked after taking off my helmet and let my eyes wander to a huge sign at one of the two big but not high – two stories, tops – buildings. Hadn't it been for their light orange-beige paint you could've thought they were hangars.

"I'm just glad you didn't drag me to a lake in the middle of nowhere to shag me on the forest floor in the rain like a horny sixteen-year-old."

"Read the sign." I pointed up.

"_The making of Harry Potter_" said the huge, lightning-like lettering on the left-hand building. "You took me to the studio tour?"

"Looks like it?" I tried to sound nonchalant and balance out the nerves I'd shown earlier when I was picking her up.

"That's so cool."

"You don't have to say that, you know? It's ok if you don't wanna go. I know this wouldn't be for anyone." But I hoped it's for you.

"I" Emily took my fumbling hands in hers. "wanna go" Our eyes met. "real bad. I've read about this but haven't gotten around to it."

"Ok, it's just I saw the books in your shelf and figured you're into Potter… So I got us tickets for the ten o'clock tour." I held up the two small paper strips I had produced from my back pocket.

"Ah, now you're stalking me, eh?" she took the tickets from me and went ahead with a "Guess we better go then."

She probably couldn't even hear my quiet objection "I wasn't… stalking." Then I proceeded to follow her with a sigh.

As we entered the entrance hall, I took a look around. There were huge pictures of all the important characters and even Mr. Weasley's blue Ford Anglia was fixed to the wall in one corner. We were in Harry Potter heaven.

"You know, this isn't an amusement park ride," I began to explain "more like a walk-through exhibition with interactive elements." So you could play around a bit? You'd like that, wouldn't you? "And it also shows you the actual film-making aspect of production. You can even ride a broom in front of a green-screen." She didn't say a thing. That can't be a good sign. Looks like I was wrong.

"Shit, this is way too geeky, innit?" I started to freak out. How could I possibly think this was a good idea for a date? Who is THIS into Harry Potter? Especially at our age? She's happy I don't behave like sixteen and I present her with a twelve-year-old's dream. I'm sure she thinks I'm an idiot.

"Let's just leave and forget about it, ok?"

"Naomi, it's ok." No, it's not.

"We can still leave, you know? Forget it ever happened."

"Naomi"

"Sorry for dragging you out here. I'll make it up to you. Promise."

"Jesus…" without another word she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the loo then, all the way into a stall where she closed the door after squeezing us both in. I couldn't even properly take in my surroundings and find out what parts of her body was touching mine before she unbuckled her belt and pushed down the hem of her skinny jeans which – as I may or may not have noticed on the way here, can't blame a girl for enjoying the view – accentuated her bum perfectly.

"Wh… what are you doing?" How could she mistake my behavior for the prelude of a loo shag?

"Showing you my tattoo." She put her hand on the hem of her black knickers and pushed them down a bit.

"You weren't kidding?"

"I never joke about Harry Potter. I read about this but never got around to actually visiting. Now read." She nodded down to her hand. On her knickers. Because she'd pushed her pants down. Oh my god.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to…" I read out loud but knew there were more words hidden underneath the fabric.

"This is only our first date, so you'll have to wait to see the rest but I expect you to know how it ends." She winked at me as she buttoned her jeans. First date? Was there gonna be a second date? Did she think we were dating? Bloody hell, this stuff is confusing.

"Ok, in that case, we should make sure we get our arses to the entrance in time. The first bit alone is so cool. And it's the only part of the tour where we have a time limit. So make sure you get some nice photos, yeah?"

"I didn't bring my camera. Why didn't you tell me I could use it?"

"Because a girl scout is always prepared." I reached into my bag and pulled out a disposable camera I handed to Emily.

"Wow, I used to love those as a kid." Score.

"Well, make sure you get some nice shots, ok?"

"Thanks. This is so cool." She leaned in as if she wanted to kiss me. What do I do now? Think fast, Campbell. Hesitation and indecisiveness are not sexy.

Turns out I didn't have to make any decisions though as Emily stopped short from my lips and pressed a kiss against my cheek and held the camera up taking the first photo. "You said not to shy away from using it, right?" she smiled at me and I could swear there was a slight blush on her cheeks. Maybe I hadn't imagined that it was a real kiss she had been after and she was rescuing herself from embarrassment with that picture.

We then went up to the entrance and were lead into a room that looked like a movie theatre with the comfy seats and a big screen up front, about thirty or forty other visitors with us. A lanky, red-headed guy walked up to the front.

"Hi everyone! My name is Fred! No, not Weasley, despite the ginger-ness. Welcome to the Warner _Brothers studio tour, The making of Harry Potter_. I'll be guiding you through the first part of the tour and after that you can look at the exhibit in your own time as it will be a self-guided tour. But first, make sure your seat is comfortable as we'll start this off by watching all eight movies."

He stopped for laughs. Obviously he makes that joke every time. Can't blame him. "Just kidding, we'll watch a short introduction by these friends of mine, don't know if you've heard of them, Emma, Daniel and Rupert."

He then left with a bow as the video started playing. The actors described what it was like to grow up filming and how much these studios and their crew had become a second home and family to them. After about five minutes the screen turned black again and Fred made his reappearance.

"Behind these doors over there is the Great hall! You'll have fifteen minutes to explore it until we'll have to ask you to move on so more people can enjoy it. Those are the real tables, costumes and even the real floor that was made for the films in there."

"Oh my God, we get to walk through the Great hall?" Emily smiles at me like a kid on Christmas. That moment my earlier worries that this wouldn't be her thing vanished completely.

"You're the first tour today so there'll be nobody inside the studios yet. Have a great visit and enjoy a butterbeer on my behalf!"

* * *

**AN:** Anyone still there? What do you think of Naomi's unusual date choice? Reviews, as always, are very welcome.

I'm already working on the next chapter and hearing what you have to say is the best motivation.

You guys rock. Have an awesome weekend!


	16. A tale of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw

**AN:**

Hi you lovely readers!

I have a feeling I might have forgotten to message one or two of my reviewers. If so, I'm sorry and it sure as hell doesn't mean your words aren't appreciated. The opposite. Thanks to the guest reviewers as well.

This chapter starts where the last one left off which means major nerd alert *salute*.

If you're not into Potter and don't get the references I'm sorry for that but in this fic, these two are hopeless potterheads. Please bare with me, this will stop after the date. I hope you could still enjoy it.

This chapter is dedicated to everyone who ever thought of giving up but then decided to keep fighting. (No connection to the content, I just felt like it.)

**Warning:** This might cause a desire to visit the studio tour yourself.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, don't own Skins, Potter or Himym but I do have two Potter tats, Luna Lovegood's wand and a Ravenclaw scarf. That's something, right?

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**Twenty-four – A tale of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw**

**Emily POV **

As soon as the huge doors to the Great Hall were completely open and Fred motioned for us to get in with a cute half-bow I couldn't keep myself from rushing forward and almost running into the Great hall. But then I stopped and waited for Naomi.

Maybe it was the adrenaline from all the excitement – I'm in freaking Hogwarts after all – but I felt brave enough to take her hand in mine and drag her inside. She didn't seem to object, that's a start.

There was a giant room full of awesomeness to discover. Perfect. Instead of the four long house tables like in the movies – oh how often did I marathon those? – there were only two, one each on the left and right so there was room to walk through in the middle. Behind the tables were dress forms with the uniforms of the different houses on.

A blonde lady named Jen explained a few things about the props. "In the corner over there, on the left of where you came in you can see the clothes Cedric Diggory wore for the Triwizard tournament. Yes, these have actually been worn by Robert Pattinson."

"You wanna go over there and look at Rob's dirty laundry with the other fangirls or are you more into Hermione?" Naomi whispered in my ear, her hand still in mine.

"No, I always preferred Luna anyway."

"No kidding." Naomi raised her eyebrows as if what I just told her was completely unbelievable. "No way you love the Lovegood!"

"Believe me or not I do. Blonde, smart, anything but boring. Just my type." I swear she smiled to herself when she connected the dots of what I was implying.

"Wanna check out the house point counter?"

"Like I need to be asked? You know I never understood how in the books Slytherin was doing so great with it. Was that all Snape's bias?"

"Beats me." She shrugged. "But why don't you ask him? He's right over there." She pointed towards the podium the teacher's table was on, complete with Dumbledore standing at the owl podium.

"That's so cool. I'm glad they didn't try to pull a _Madame Tussaud's_ and imitate the actor's faces for their character outfit."

"Look at the torch holders up there. They're the animals from the four houses. Personally, I'm no fan of Slytherin's but the snake looks bad-ass." She pointed to the second flambeaux from the right."

"Too bad we can't experience the magic of the enchanted ceiling though." I put my head back and looked straight up into the metal scaffolding with spotlights fixed to them.

"Did you know that for the first movie they tried to use real flames for the floating candles? They used candle-shaped oil lamps and hung them up there with wires. Problem was, after hours of filming the heat got too much so the wires melted and the lamps dropped. That's why, starting with _Chamber of secrets_, the candles were CGI."

She seemed like a teacher in front of a class. A really nice teacher though in an awesome Potter class with only one student. "How do you even know all this stuff? Did you read a book on this?"

"Hardly. Just looked at the info board."

"Hmm, you know what?" I waited a second until she met my eyes again. "You shouldn't give away the secrets to your tricks."

"They're called illusions! A trick is something a whore does for money." She complained. "And you better make sure you've seen everything, they'll tell us to leave in about…" she looked at her golden wrist watch – who even uses wristwatches anymore? – and held her hand up, fingers outstretched, "five minutes."

"Well I guess I better report to McGonagall then."

"Go ahead. I'll join you when I'm finished telling Filch what a fucking tosser he is."

"Ok…" I hesitated, not wanting to let go of her hand I had been holding the entire time. God knows when was gonna find the courage to take it again and if she would let me. Come on, don't be a baby. This isn't going bad so far.

Earlier in the restroom stall I had almost gone too far and kissed her. But it seems she didn't notice so no harm done, right? Must be my lucky day. Even though for a second it did seem like her eyes were widening. Did she realise what I was about to do and was mentally preparing to stop me? Perhaps she doesn't want me anymore. Or she had realized that she would never be able to forgive me and was just being true to her word by taking me out.

On the other hand she had been attentive and extra nice so far. Didn't seem like this was just something she had to do because of a hangover-induced promise. It was good to see that she's nervous, I don't think she meant to admit to it so openly though. Not like I'd hold it against her, the girl who's been bricking it ever since we agreed to go out. At nine in the morning, isn't the time when she'd usually sneak out of some tramp's flat trying not to wake her and cause a scene?

She said she doesn't date. Does that mean this is her first date? I gotta ask her someday. But not now. This whole day had started out rather weird for me. I mean an hour drive? On the bike? That's fast getting through traffic, right? I had wondered where the hell she was taking me? But I had to let her surprise me.

And what a – excuse the pun – magical surprise that turned out to be. Not only have I been a major Potterhead ever since I was little, ok, since I was a child, but also if I hadn't gotten into psychology I would've loved to study film-making. This place really hit the nail on the head for me.

"Ok, guys, one minute to go." Jen warned us from the left end of the teacher's table. Right where Naomi was reading yet another info board. "Please come over here when you're ready."

The concentrated look on her features and the small, content smile on her face were a sight to behold. She – like me- seemed completely lost in this magical world. I decided this was worth the second of the 27 shots I had on the camera she had given me. I looked through the viewfinder trying to get a nice frame and pushed the shutter just in time for me to put the camera down before Naomi turned around seemingly looking for me.

"There you are, little Fitch. Come on! No more Great Hall action for you but a new adventure awaits." We walked out of the door along a small, black-walled corridor with tables on the right side holding what looked like a gorgeous table full of chocolate desserts. There was a tower of chocolate covered scoops of ice-cream as taller than the length of my arm, dozens of plates with pralines, cakes and even a top-side down cylinder head with a bunny crawling out of it, all made of chocolate. Or fake chocolate, I guess. Too bad really.

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"I got something for you."

"You're full of surprises today, huh?" she commented with a smile as she finally closed her eyes.

"Aren't I always?" I felt her slide something, like a sort of chain, around my neck and carefully smoothing my hair back over it.

"Oh, you're giving me jewelry this early on, going all in with this, aren't we, Miss Campbell?" I joked.

"Open." She looked at me smiling. "No jewelry but I think you'll like it." I looked down at the lanyard she had strapped around my neck. "It's a guide with loads of videos for the entire tour. It's pretty detailed but worth watching every single one."

"Wait? Have you been here before?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Do you think I'd take you somewhere untested?"

"Of course not." She had thought about this. She really gave a shit.

"Cook took me last year. He only started watching the movies to comment on 'that babe Emma'" she airquoted,"but he ended up liking them and thought maybe he could pick up a MILF who brought her kids here. That was in his cougar phase. Nasty memories." She screwed her eyes shut "What he hadn't considered was that most people here are from the generation that grew up while the books were released and they just didn't have the right stripes for his taste back then."

"A cougar doesn't have stripes."

"Can't you just leave my metaphor alone?" She scolded me in a playful tone. "Anyway, don't tell him I told you the Cookie monster is a Potterhead. That's a secret. Especially Carl mustn't know, ok?"

"Why? So his bartender buddy can keep thinking he's cool?"

"Turn on the guide, Tom's got something to say about the chocolate feast. It's from Goblet of fire by the way. And by Tom I mean Tom Felton, the guy who plays Draco." You're distracting me, Campbell, but I'm onto you.

"If you seriously think I didn't know that you underestimate my Harry Potter knowledge and I should challenge you to a quiz."

"Careful with the hair." She took a strand of hair that had wrapped itself around the strip and carefully put it behind my ear caressing the side of my cheek in the process. "So what does the winner get?"

"How about a kiss?" I blurted out feeling bold but deflating as soon as I saw her eyes widen. That's what you get for wanting too much.

"Damn, seeing all this chocolaty goodness makes me crave something sweet." I distracted myself and hopefully Naomi along with me from the awkward situation I had so skillfully produced.

"Well, I did prepare a little snack for lunch but if that doesn't satisfy your needs I was gonna get you a chocolate frog later anyway.

"Seems like you planned this trip to guarantee satisfaction."

"Well I do have a reputation to uphold." Like you'd have to remind me. "Let me show you something on the guide."

She stood on my right-hand side and navigated the touch screen to the video she wanted me to see. While I played I could barely concentrate on the screen because her arm was brushing up against my breast. If Naomi noticed she didn't show it. Was this just a move she pulled on all of her tricks or a genuine mishap?

"Fucking hell, sorry." She pulled her hand away like she'd been struck by lightning. Not a calculated move then. "Christ, I really should pay more attention to where I put my hands." Was that a blush on her cheeks? The mighty Naomi Campbell, player extraordinaire, was blushing in my presence.

"Calm down." I put my hand on her arm, the culprit so to speak. "It's ok. I wouldn't have agreed to go on a date with you if I didn't expect to be felt up." I smiled, letting her know I meant no harm.

"More like made me go on a date with you." So that's what this is, yeah? She just felt obligated to do this. Great. My thoughts must have shown on my face because the next thing out of her mouth was "Not that I don't enjoy this. You're a really good date!"

"Thanks. You too." Hopefully she did mean it and wasn't just trying to make me feel good. "Now let's move on before I die from yearning for chocolate. I always wanted to invade the boys' dormitory like Hermione did."

"You know, in a way it's sexist that there was an enchantment to keep the boys away from the girls' beds but it's perfectly ok for the girls to come visit the boys as they please."

"Oh, someone got their book facts straight. I never thought you'd be such a geek. It's cute."

Was she blushing again? That's two strikes. Your cool girl mask is beginning to falter, Naomi.

"Look, at all the Quidditch posters Ron has up. I can't believe how much attention they paid to detail." I distracted quickly so as to not make her uncomfortable.

"You just wait til you see the hundreds of ingredient bottles in Snape's potions lab. They all have individual, hand-written labels." She paused to take a breath. No wonder with how fast she was speaking. "Do you know about that easter egg in the books with the first words Snape says to Harry?"

"Please enlighten me." I raised my eyebrows trying to look eager to learn something new.

"So the first words Snape directs at Harry are 'Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?'…"

The truth is, I did know what she was about to tell me – and I think it's one of many proofs that J. K. Rowling is a damn genius – but it was just too cute to watch her geek out about these kinds of trivia.

"… the thing is, according to Victorian flower language asphodel, which is a type of lily, stands for 'my regrets follow you to the grave" and wormwood represents absence. Thus you could interpret this as an expression of his deep regret for Lily Potter's death."

"Snape for sure has the biggest balls in the entire Potter-verse."

"Even literally." She commented. " I mean, it's safe to assume he hasn't gotten any action since.

"Why? Cause he still loves Lily and sex without feelings is impossible?" I teased.

"I never said that. But sex when you're in love with somebody else is fucked up."

"Ok. I see that."

"Also, that pale complexion, greasy hair and heartbreak that effects his every move are hardly a real turn-on."

"Ok. Can you stop hating on Snape? He's one of my favourites!" I threw in my patented puppy dog eyes for good measure.

"Ok, one change of topic, coming right up."

Look at those tiny beds! I mean, you're pocket-sized so you could sleep in those without problems but imagine a regular sized person trying to use this." Bam. I punched her arm playfully yet with enough force for it to sting a bit.

"Careful! I bruise easily!"

"Then don't underestimate me just because I'm space-saving."

"Like we need to save space vertically." Bam. That's another punch.

"Enough now?"

"Yeah, got it." She rubbed her upper arm theatrically. "No need to get violent."

"Who knows, if you behave nicely from now on I might kiss it and make it better."

"You got yourself a deal, Fitch!"

The place was huge with film props stuffed into every nook and corner. Places like Dumbledore's office – complete with the memory cabinet holding hundreds of hand-labeled vials and a giant telescope – the Gryffindor common room or Hagrid's hut with explanations of the visual effects and tricks used to make the half-giant appear extra big in comparison to others.

"You know, there's a lot of psychology in filmmaking. Like how they made the hallway of the _Leaky Cauldron_ seem like it's really long but it's only ten feet or so."

"Look who's the expert now."

"As if there was ever any doubt about that!"

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that one. So I take it you like it here?"

That question wasn't even worthy of an answer. It was brilliant. So many devices and items had been carefully crafted and many where only ever shown in the background. The hours over hours of sweat, attention to detail and passion that must have been put into this were almost palpable. With the typical Harry Potter music playing at a pleasant volume the place truly felt magical.

My favourite part was the burrow, the Weasleys' home. There was the grandfather clock that showed where every member of the Weasley family currently was – no hand pointing at mortal peril now, luckily – and details like a box of Cheery-owls cereal but the best thing was the interactive part.

"Look, Naomi! I can do magic!"

"Of course you can." I moved my hand over the touch panels to make the household appliances move seemingly by magic. "It's kinda cute that you're so easily entertained." Naomi commented.

"Easily? This is magic!"

"Speaking of magic, you wanna learn how to fly before we go outside?"

"You mean that green-screen thing with the brooms?"

"Well actually I grew wings just for you but ok, if that's what you want." She smiled and beckoned me to the short line.

Everyone was given a Hogwarts cloak and a scarf representing the house of their choice.

"You gotta get a Gryffindor one." Naomi insisted.

"But then I won't get to hang out in the same common room as you."

"How come? Are you saying I'm not brave enough to be in Gryffindor?"

"That's not it. But I've seen your books and I know you quite a bit. I bet that Sorting Hat wouldn't even touch your head before it yelled out Ravenclaw!" She smiled at that. "Plus, the blue will accentuate your eyes."

"Ok, you convinced me, Fitch."

"Well, that was easy."

"Don't get used to it."

We got our pictures taken on the brooms and made our way outside. Hopefully, the rain had stopped by now. Stupid English weather.

"Wow, this was so cool. Too bad it's over."

"And here I thought you were smart, not just beautiful."

"As a matter of fact, I am." The smile on my face was inevitable. She had called me beautiful.

"Then answer me one question: If you haven't had your butterbeer yet, how can it be over?"

A smile formed on my face. "You mean there's more?"

"Loads." She took my hand and led me through the big door.

* * *

**AN:**

So these two finally made it through the first part of the tour.

The second (or technically third) part of the date should be up in my regular rhythm unless my exam next week totally crushes me.

If you have a minute, I'd love some feedback. Thanks!

See you next week!


	17. Sparks

**AN: **Hey you lovely people! Happy Sunday!

Finally, the last part of the date (so no more Potter for a bit after this). Also, last chapter in Emily POV for now.

Thanks once more to all the loyal reviewers as well as the newer ones. I appreciate all of you tremendously.

**Fitcherella** is not only responsible for the existence of this fic, she also helped out with this again (because I couldn't write Effy dialogue to save my life) despite barely having time to take a breath these days. I'm eternally grateful for that.

Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Do I look like I own Skins? Sorry for the typos. My keyboard and I have a passionate love hate relationship.

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**Twenty-five – Sparks**

**Emily POV**

The same steady downpour that had followed us on the way here greeted us as we exited the first studio building – how could I even think the tour was already over when I knew there were two buildings, studio J and K, coincidence they say – and got into the backlot.

"Ok, let's eat our lunch first and see if the rain dies down a bit so we can look at everything, yeah?" Naomi suggested rubbing the back of her head.

"You really brought food? You seem to be paving the way to becoming my new favourite person!" She smiled at that and then bit her lip shyly. We sat down on a bench that luckily had a roof over it protecting us from the rain.

"Don't get your hopes up too much, it's just a little snack." She put her backpack down and proceeded to unpack containers filled with sandwiches, little skewers with grapes and cheese, barbeque chicken wings and what must've been about a dozen other kinds of treats.

"I hope this is still hot." Finally, she pulled a thermos from her backpack. "Tomato soup, straight from my mum's garden."

"Ok, just to clear this up. This…" I took a sandwich from the box. "… is a small snack. What you brought is a feast."

"I just wasn't sure what you'd like so I wanted to make sure. Is it ok?" She screwed her eyes shut.

"Hell yes." I smiled as I bit into my sandwich. "What is it with your bag anyway? Did you switch with Hermione?"

"I wish." She smiled. "How about you help yourself to whatever you want while I go get us our beverages?" The downpour had subsided to a slight drizzle so it seemed like a good time to walk to the butterbeer stands.

"Sounds awesome. And thanks for all the food."

So blame me if you will but I couldn't help but admire the sight of her arse as she walked away from me. This day had been perfect so far. Ok, almost perfect.

I'm pretty sure Naomi noticed me getting flustered every time she was standing close to me. I have no idea what it is she wants out of this.

I felt myself begin to panic.

Calm the fuck down, it's only your first date. The again, who knows if there'll ever be a second one? Naomi isn't exactly the dating type.

I needed to talk to someone before I got too lost in my own head.

Katie? No, what would she know about dating a girl. It still baffled me that she'd known I was into women and seemed to genuinely be ok with it.

Effy would know what to do.

Not that she had any same-sex experience as far as I know but let's face it, she may be about as effed-up as they come but she does have an extraordinairy understanding of human behavior. So I quickly typed out a text to her as I saw Naomi coming back carrying two cups of golden liquid with thick white foam on top.

_Almost kissed her. Big mistake. I don't think she likes me that way._

I got done typing my message as she walked right past me and pretended not to notice me texting.

"So are you ready for your first taste of butterbeer?" Naomi asked as she handed me the cup.

"I was born ready."

We toasted "To Fred!" and clinked the little plastic cups the drinks came in.

I took a sip of the creamy foam on top. "Tastes like toffee."

"Yeah, it is rather peculiar. Especially mixed with the soda from the bottom. But it's part of the Potter experience."

My phone started vibrating.

Effy.

"Sorry, I gotta take this. My sister gets insufferable when she's made to wait."

Fucking liar.

Ok, technically everything I said is true… my sister was a rather huge cunt when you didn't answer her on the first ring, but of course, this wasn't her.

I waited until I was out of Naomi's hearing range before I tapped the display and took the call.

"Listen Em, you'll do exactly as I say. No talking back."

"But–"

"What did I just say?"

"No talking back." I conceded.

"Ok. Listening?" I nodded, a little annoyed at the way Effy operates. It's gotta be her way or no way.

"Thought so." She said condescendingly before going on with her tip. "What you're gonna do is you're gonna get out of your comfort zone."

"What? And how am I supposed to do that?"

"Make the first move."

"I've already…"

"That's not good enough…"

"Wait, how did you know what I did?"

"The Potter tattoo, Em… It's your only move."

Giant, mind-reading b…

"Stop cursing me out in your head and pay attention, Fitch. Stop waiting for her to make the first move and just step up… Stop thinking so much and do something. Don't just sit there and wait for her. Sun won't shine forever."

"It's bucketing down."

"It's a metaphor and you know it. She's crazy about you. You just need to take the initiative. Be brave." Beep beep.

She hung up on me. Thanks Eff. Crystal clear as usual.

I knew there was no need in contacting here again hoping she'd elaborate. She had said exactly what she intended to say and that was that. Now watch how things unfold.

Sadly, according to Effy – who was annoyingly right most if not all of the time – I wasn't allowed to do just that. Taking the initiative is not something that comes naturally when you grow up as your older twin's doormat. Yes, that was a while ago and by now I had done a good job at freeing myself from the burdens of my upbringing but then again, do our early years ever truly stop defining us?

I sat down next to Naomi who had her hand on the bench between our thighs and continued to sip my butterbeer.

Effy was probably right. Do something. Don't sit around and wait. Baby steps though.

So I positioned my hand between Naomi and me. Right next to hers but not touching hoping she would get the hint.

"Everything ok with your sister?" she asked not giving away whether or not she had noticed what I did or understood my intentions.

"Yeah, all's well. What's she doing with Cook anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't know they screwed?"

"Oh that, that was months ago though. The whole Fitch switch." She chuckled at her own lame joke. Yeah, Naomi, you should be too smart believe you're first one to come up with that one.

"I mean repeatedly. Imagine my face as I caught my sister tied to your mate's bedpost."

"Christ… Like I needed that mental image!" she covered her eyes with her hand like that would delete it. "I mean, it's not exactly against the rules but he doesn't normally do repeats."

"Show me your rules." I demanded, the curiosity making me act braver than I felt.

"No way. Rule number ten." Naomi grinned as she popped the last grape into her mouth.

We had finished eating so she packed everything up shooing my hand away as I made an attempt to help her clean up the little mess we'd made together.

Once she was finished, she leaned back against the bench. "You alright there, Em?"

"I'm having the worst time of my life. The weather's shit. The company's even worse." I chuckled. That must have made me move or maybe it was Naomi who did – there's no way I could tell – but now the tip of my little finger was touching the side of her hand.

"Yeah, the place sucks." She smiled at me. Then for a fraction of a second – or was I imagining this? – she looked down at our hands. I took that as encouragement and moved my hand so now the sides of our hands were touching. "I'm a shit date, huh?" she hooked her little finger around mine. This was ok. I wasn't imagining things. Maybe baby steps was the were to go with her.

"It's alright. I'll live." I slowly got up and made sure to keep our fingers hooked as I did so. "Now can we go check out the knight bus?"

"Sure, as long as you don't expect it to dive." She pointed at the sign on the triple-decker bus that read: _all destinations (nothing underwater)._ "You want me to take a picture of you in there?"

"I got a better idea." I walked up to a man who was holding the hands of two little girls – his twin daughters, I assumed – "Excuse me, sir, would you mind taking a picture of us?" and handed him the camera after he said "Sure love!" with thick Irish accent and a toothy grin.

On the outside, the bus had the design of a classic red double-decker bus, apart from the colour and its height that would've got it stuck under most of London's bridges.

We each stood on one side of the pole at the bus' entrance and smiled for the camera.

"Come on, girls, you can do better than that." He motioned with his hands for us to move a little closer to each other. Naomi reacted to that by putting her arm around me and pulled me closer to her. "And how about a little kiss now?" It's funny how quickly seemingly all of the blood in your entire body goes right to your face when you're embarrassed.

"Oh, we're not–" I started to object. But Naomi seemed to have other plans as she quickly pressed her lips to my cheek. Click. I made a mental note to frame this one.

"Sorry, girls. I just saw you two and thought what a cute couple."

"We're not dating. Well, actually, this is our first date." I cleared up and scratched the back of my neck nervously. Where do I normally put my hands? Why do people even have hands? Hands are weird.

"Sorry for putting you on the spot, then." He apologized. "But maybe I could help ya speed things up."

"Thanks for your help." Naomi said as the man handed me back the camera and went to take care of his daughters.

We looked around the backlot some more, from Privet drive 4 to the Riddle family gravestone and the house Harry's parents were killed in. Naomi sat down in Sirius's flying motorbike because she "had to give it a test ride." In a moment when she wasn't looking I snapped a quick picture of her. She looked so at ease. It was a sight to behold.

We saved the best for last though as we walked along the Hogwarts bridge. I was so high on all the excitement that I took her hand as we got on it. She let me hold hers. Baby steps.

Once we had gotten off the bridge she turned to me: "Are you ready for part two?"

She still held my hand as we entered the second studio building.

"Look at the thestrals! They even have a baby." Naomi pointed out as we entered the Creature shop which was filled with displays of all the non-human magical beings you can see in the films. From Aragog, the huge spider hanging in the corner of the ceiling to the Monster book of monsters with it's dangerous fangs staring right at you.

"Fucking hell!" I yelled as the monster book moved exactly the moment when I went to look at it more closely.

"You might wanna go easy on the cursing, this is a family establishment, you must know." Naomi smiled deviously and I saw her dinger still on the little metal button that seemed to have been the trigger for the book to attack.

"Bitch! I'll get you back for that one."

"Language, young lady." she mock-chided me.

"Oh look, it's Dobby! I love Dobby, brave little fella!"

After the creature shop came the makeup and prosthetics department where they even showed things like how they got rid of Voldemort's nose or how they turned the actors into werewolves or goblins.

We walked around another black-walled corridor at the end of which Naomi exclaimed "Welcome to _Diagon Alley_!"

The street was packed with all the stores described in the books, the first being the big marble entrance of _Gringotts Bank_. We admired the detailed displays of all the shops like the apothecary or _Ollivander's Wand Shop._

But what really took the cake was _Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Complete with a 20-foot mannequin welcoming us by lifting its top hat with a robotic arm. _

"_As a twin expert, what do you reckon, is that Fred or George?" Naomi asked standing really close to me all but whispering in my ear._

"_If their own mother can't even tell them apart, I don't stand a chance. I really love them both. _Especially how they gave that Umbridge bitch what she deserved."

"She did have it coming." Naomi shrugged.

"You bet."

"You know what? Why don't you go on to the next room while I try and steal some puking pastilles, yeah? We wouldn't want you to be an accessory, would we?"

She seemed awfully eager to get rid of me but I didn't find it in me to argue with her. Instead, I went along a corridor full of paintings of different key scenes at the end of which I found myself in a humongous room. It was Hogwarts, a giant model of the castle to be exact. With the theme music from the movies playing softly in the background it felt almost as if you were looking at the castle from a landing plane. I walked around the model a bit, noticing the details of even the tiniest trees and bushes on the castle grounds when suddenly the lights were dimmed and the tiny windows of the model were illuminated, hundreds of them . Goosebumps erupted on my arms as I noticed a presence behind me and felt arms snake around my hips slowly turning me around.

As I was facing Naomi she lifted her hand off my hips and went to put a strand of hair behind my ear. She rested her hand on my cheek and slowly moved her head towards mine. I was transfixed by the way her eyes looked into mine until she closed them and so did I.

She kissed me slowly, carefully, as if she was afraid she might break something if she moved too much. Her lips felt incredibly soft against mine. She slowly pulled away, my face still in her hand.

"Hey. You ok?" she whispered looking me in the eyes almost inquisitively, as if she was trying to read my mind.

"Hmm." I nodded. "More than."

"You were quite adorable there, admiring the lights with your cute little grin." I felt more than saw her smile. "Yeah. Exactly that one." She put the tip of her index fingers on my left cheek right where my dimple is. I couldn't help but grin. And who could blame me after that kiss?

That was when the lights went back on. It felt like our little bubble of intimacy popped like it was all just a dream. A pleasant dream. A dream I didn't want to let go of. Be brave.

I put my hand on her neck and pulled her head down, the licked my lips before I kissed her with a bit more force than she just did.

"Just so you know how ok I am." I put my hand in hers and she held it. We smiled at each other and then fell into small talk about the castle model.

"It's scale 1:24. So it fits." Naomi smirked as if she'd just said something particularly clever.

"What fits?"

"Well that must be about the scale you are, right? 1:24 compared to a regular human.-being?" Her smirk was irking something inside me.

"That would mean I couldn't do this." I leaned up and kissed the smirk right off her face biting her bottom lip slightly.

"Ok, let's say scale 1:12."

"If you can still joke that means I didn't kiss you properly."

"Guess you didn't." she leaned her forehead against mine and rubbed her nose against mine. "Let me show you how it's done."

I stared at her parting lips before our mouths met once more, this time in a passionate kiss that definitely wasn't appropriate in these surroundings. Good thing it was dark again.

As we finally had to stop for air I felt dizzy with emotion. What was that woman doing to me?

"I waited too long for this." Naomi admitted and kissed me once more. "We should've been doing this all day." She whispered against my lips. "Exit through the gift shop?"

So we went through the little – and by little I mean huge – souvenir shop, a place where you could easily spend a month's salary as a Potter geek. Naomi insisted on buying me the chocolate frog she had promised and a jar of _Honeydukes_ sherbet lemon.

"It's Dumbledore's favourite. You gotta have it!"

"Come on, admit it, you just like to spoil me."

"Well I can't have you running around telling people I'm a crap date." She smiled.

We were almost outside again when Naomi alerted me to "Read this!" and pointed at the wall above the exit.

"_The stories we love best do live in us forever, so whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home." J.K. Rowling_

"Damn, now I don't wanna leave." I put my arms around her and cuddled into her side.

"We can go here again, if you want to. But it's been a long day. Let's get you home, ok?"

Luckily, the rain had stopped and the streets were dry again by the time we got to Naomi's bike. Still, I held onto her closely while she drove to my house.

"Take off that goddamn helmet." I insisted as we said our goodbyes in front of my door. Did she expect me to invite her in? Were we gonna go out together again? What was I supposed to do?

The power of speech seemed to have left me temporarily so instead of talking I opted to kiss her hard against my door. "Come over next week!"

What was that? Had I spoken? How did the words make it to my mouth without passing through my brain first?

"Sure. Friday ok?" Naomi smiled at me. I let go of her collar and stepped back slowly. "And give me the camera, ok? I'll have the pictures developed by then." Oh oh.

"See you then." Hopefully she hadn't noticed how shocked I was at my own words. I turned around and opened my door so she wouldn't see my flustered face.

She turned me around once more and kissed me goodbye. "Yeah, see you Friday. Can't wait!"

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**AN:** So how was that? I'd love it if you told me your thoughts!

Next chapter is in teh making! See you!


	18. Crossing lines

**AN: **Hi you lovely people!

Repeat after me: **Fitcherella** made this chapter happen and (not only) therefore is the greatest.

Seriously, I am more than honoured that she takes all this time she doesn't have to help me out. I struggled a lot with some parts of this chapter but she made them better. So any line you like in this one is probably written by her.

**Disclaimer:** Really, this is Fitcherella's work. Neither of us owns Skins. Shame that.

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**Twenty-six – Crossing lines**

Play it cool. Don't let her see what she does to you.

As soon as I was safely out of sight from Emily's door I leaned against a wall and let out a breath.

Holy fuck. If she has this effect on me just from kissing what would happen when – if – we take it further? Would I even be able to take that? I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts. We were merely on first base and I was perfectly ok with that.

Ok, don't ask my knickers. They sure as fuck disagree.

After dropping Emily off I drove home making a quick detour by a photo shop that is old school enough to still develop film. I had only witnessed how the pictures were taken a handful of times so I was actually curious what Emily had chosen to capture.

"You don't come here often, do you?" the middle-aged woman at the counter commented as I entered the shop, a chime announcing my arrival.

"No. First time actually."

"Figured. Most of my customers are regulars."

"Well, I just came to have this developed." I placed the disposable camera on the counter.

"That means something special happened." She commented. "And by the way you grin I say it's more than just a fun vacation. Am I right?"

"I went on a date." Why was I even sharing with the lady? No idea, other than that she seemed trustworthy. "My first date, to be exact."

"Oh, you didn't strike me as someone who'd have trouble finding a date." She scratched her chin with a ring-clad hand. "And here I thought decades in customer service had sharpened my judgment of people."

"To be fair, it's not from a shortage of offers." I smiled at her. Smiling at strangers, apparently a thing I do now. "More like I chose not to date."

"Then that must make your date very special. You can come back in three days to pick up the pictures to go along with it."

"She is special, yes." I admitted, then put my helmet back on and left the store with a second chime.

"Honey, I'm home!" I closed the flat door behind me and breathed out relieved to finally be at home. It had been a long day, not that I hadn't enjoyed every minute of it.

"Oi, Blondie! Didn't expect ya home tonight. At least not on ya own!" Cook patted the space on the couch next to him. "Come 'ere and tell uncle Cookie everything, will ya? Didn't it go well or why aren't ya currently shagging the brains outta Red? Spill the beans." He patted his thighs in anticipation.

"Christ, did it ever occur to you that two people could have a good time and enjoy each other's company without having sex?"

"Frankly, nah. But that explains ya lousy mood, miss grumpypants."

"My mood is just fine. I just won't do a debrief with you, ok?" Then I remembered that I wanted some info out of him as well. So I sat down on the couch next to him.

"So how did it go?"

"It went just fine. She seemed to like everything I had come up with."

"Why do ya sound like ya're coming straight from a funeral, then?"

"Well it's complicated, isn't? Wasn't it always? I hardly think she could be ok with our lifestyle. She can't get sucked into this. I'm gonna hurt her." Originally, I hadn't planned to divulge this much to Cook but then again, who else could I confide in with this? And while he sure wasn't an expert on dates and treating people's hearts carefully he was my best mate for a reason and perhaps the only other person in this world that understood why I am the way I am.

"Ya know what, Blondie?" He put his arm around me and pulled me close so I could rest my head on his shoulders. "Emily's a grown-up. Why don't you let her make her own decisions and decide what she wants to get sucked into."

"Hmm, maybe you're right."

"Sure, I am. Did ya make plans to meet up again? Because I gotta warn ya. I like that girl. Don't scare her away, yeah?"

"Friday." Now that I was sitting down I realised how tired I was from the day.

"So what ya're gonna do?"

"I don't even know. I'll have to text her."

"Nah, you can't! Three-day-rule, remember? My buddy Jesus didn't come up with that for no reason, did he?"

"I'll text her in three days, dummy. I'm not that clueless. And how many times do I have to tell you getting a cross tattooed doesn't make Jesus your buddy?!"

"Well at least it helps screwing Christian chicks before marriage." He shrugged, then furrowed his brow. "Wait, if ya're meeting her on Friday the three-day-rule says ya can't text her until the day after…"

"It never fails to astound me how thick you can be. I'm meeting her Friday next week. How else am I supposed to adhere to the rule if I see her after two days?"

"Well the rule's only about calling or texting after a date, innit?"

"Don't ask me. The only rules I live by are ours. Speaking of dates? What the fuck are you doing with Emily's sister?"

"Red told you 'bout that, huh? Nothin' much really. We're just hanging out."

"Hanging out with her chained to your headboard."

"Sometimes." He grinned.

"Just take care, Cookie. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Nah, I won't. I'm way too awesome for that.

"That you are."

"And ya be careful not to fook it up with Red. With ya reputation, the bird must expect ya to put out soon."

Would she? How would we even proceed from here on out? Are we dating now? What does she expect from me? And what do I want out of this?

After asking myself these questions over and over in my mind – mixed with blissful memories of our date – I finally drifted into a much-needed sleep.

Emily texted me Saturday night – perhaps she had heard of the three-day-rule as well – to ask whether we were still on for Friday. Pizza and a movie.

Luckily, the days passed by fairly quickly as I was throwing myself into work.

My nerves didn't really show until Thursday night as I left the house in a panic to pick up the pictures Emily during our date. I wonder what this was? A second date? Or just hanging out at a friend's place? Hell, maybe she's even invite others along. I'd feel like a right tosser for expecting something more. But only time would tell. The thing is, time's a bitch.

When I woke up on Friday it took only a few seconds until the realisation hit me. This was the day. I'd see Emily again tonight. And I knew fuck-all what to expect and how to act. At least I had to work, a more than welcome and desperately-needed distraction.

Once I was at the office I even asked around if anyone needed a job done, anything as long as it kept my hands and mind busy. Around 1 p.m. my boss walked up to my desk. Hopefully with more tasks. I was running out.

"Naomi, you've done an excellent job today, not that you don't always. But I feel like you did enough for now. Take the rest of the day off and have an early weekend."

He surely thought he was doing me a favour but the exact opposite was the case.

"No, really, I'm feeling really productive today. Just tell me what to do." Anything. Please.

"I won't have it. You slave away here often enough. It's time for you to catch a break and relax."

Looks like I had no choice.

So I went home and tried to paint a bit in hopes of distracting myself. Nothing.

After hours of staring at the blank canvas it was finally time to get ready. I only tried on half a dozen shirts before I settled for a loose-fitting black V-neck with some strategically placed cuts. Not like I was worrying about what Emily would think of my outfit or anything.

I decided to take the tube to her place so I could have a drink and wouldn't have to drive. My hands were shaking as I knocked on the door. Whatever this was, date or not, it had me bricking it.

Emily opened the door in a form-fitting, electric blue dress, just casual enough to not count as over-dressed. I peeked inside and let out a breath of relief seeing there was no one else there.

"Can I come in?" The way Emily stood in the doorframe was somewhat blocking my way.

"Not yet." She smiled, then leaned up to press a kiss against my lips and proceeded to push me against the doorframe, all without parting our lips. "That's better."

Christ, that smile will be the death of me.

"No waiting for the best moment tonight, huh?" I scratched the back of my neck.

"Is that what you were doing?"

"Pretty much…" I admitted. "I thought the castle would be…"

"Ridiculously romantic." She finished my sentence.

"Something like that." She kissed me once more for good measure before stepping away and sitting down on her cozy, little couch.

"How has your week been? I feel like I haven't talked to you in ages."

"It was alright. Busy at the office but I don't mind that." I shrugged.

"Wait. What office?"

"Oh right. You don't know. Well, every once in a while, when the paintings don't quite cover my costs, I help out at this law firm. I figured if I was forced to take on a regular job I might as well take one that doesn't totally suck. One of Mum's friends owns the firm. He took to me back when I was a teenager forced into communal living. He specialised in human rights fighting big corporations who provide working conditions akin to slave labour. His partner works on digging wells and such to provide third world countries with clean drinking water."

"Communal living? That sounds fun."

"For about a week maybe. But at some point you just wanna close the door behind yourself and go to sleep knowing you won't wake up with a stranger's foot in your mouth."

"Ok. You're right. And looking back, having to share a room with Katie was bad enough."

"It wasn't all bad though. This whole situation is what got me and Cook together. He came to our house when things with his mother got too bad. And we convinced Mum to let us take the attic. Complete with a lockable door. It wasn't much but it was ours."

"That explains why you guys are so close even though he's such a perve. He somewhat reminds me of my brother." She sighed as if the memory was bittersweet. "Anyway, what exactly is it you do at work?"

"Mum's friend knows I'm bloody clever so he pays me well for what's officially declared an assistant's job and often entrusts me with tasks I technically am not qualified for. The job really could be worse, still I miss the freedom of being able to just get up whenever and paint."

"But you still paint, right?"

"I try."

"Paint me!" she half-demanded.

"What? Now?"

"Obviously not now. I don't have any art supplies. Just one day, yeah?"

How could I say no to that face?

"Well, no promises, but I can try."

Only, what exactly did she mean by that? Surely not the way that I usually acquired inspiration for my paintings. Damn, now that picture's in my head. Don't blush. Calm down.

I rummaged around in my bag searching for something to occupy my hands with. Moments like these I regretted ditching the fags. "Oh, I had the photos developed, by the way!"

Her up until now confident behavior changed momentarily. "You have…"

"Yep. Let's look at them together, shall we?" I sat down next to her and she cuddled into my side.

The first picture of course was the one of us on the loo. Despite my surprised-looking face it was actually a nice photo. The next one was of me in the _Great Hall_. I was smiling. It was a beautiful shot even if I do say so myself… More and more pictures followed and a pattern became apparent.

"Em?" We were about halfway through.

"Yeah?" She sounded like a kid playing innocent.

"Did you only take pictures of me?"

"I obviously didn't. This one has the knight bus and me…"

"And me!" I smiled.

"Sorry."

"What for?"

"You mean you're ok with it?" she rested her head on my shoulders and wrapped her arm around my belly and we sat like that in comfortable silence until I felt her move around a bit.

"Time to put on a film, isn't it?"

"Ok, show me what you got!" She got up and started searching around her desk.

"What the hell? Looks like Katie and I mixed up our external hard drives when we were visiting Mum and Dad. You ok with whatever stupid chick flicks are on here?" she waved the hard drive at me.

"Yeah, hook it up!"

"Ok, since I'm responsible for the shitty selection it's only fair if I let you browse through it and make the final choice." Emily declared after connecting the drive to the small tv.

"Deal!" I started browsing through the titles. "Looks like Katie's got better taste in films than we gave her credit for. How about Pulp fiction?"

"Fine by me!" So I put on the film and we leaned back on the couch, Emily immediately nuzzling my neck.

I didn't pay much attention to the movie and closed my eyes to revel in her caresses but I couldn't ignore it anymore when I heard distinct moaning noises, coming from neither me nor Emily.

"Em, that's not how I remember Pulp fiction." She seemed to snap out of a trance as she untangled herself from me and checked the movie title.

"Pulp Friction! Holy fucking hell, Katie!" She looked so in shock I couldn't help but laugh and she joined quickly.

"Pulp Friction, what's next? Forrest Hump?"

"Please don't tell me you've watched those."

"I prefer not to answer that one. We might as well watch Edward Penishands, Dawn of the Head or the Da Vinci Load!"

"Christ, that's repulsive." She laughed.

"Living with the Cookie monster doesn't pass you by without leaving its mark. That bloke's porn collection is not only in plain sight but professionally lit."

"You're disgusting."

"It's not my fault you're all cute and innocent!" I defended.

"Cute and innocent, eh?" She smirked at me deviously.

Next thing I know, her lips are on my neck and her hands on my waist with her on top of me.

"Em, what are you doing? Did she want me to fuck her? Maybe Cook was right. What else would she expect being on a date with someone like me?

"Making sure you don't wait too long to make a move, again."

That did it. Fuck holding back.

In one swift movement I grabbed her by the waist and we both stood up. Then I pushed her onto the bed, her bright-red hair sprawling on the white pillow.

"Christ, you're gorgeous" I said, admiring the sight before me, then lunged forward and landed on top of her, immediately assaulting her neck.

Hands where everywhere as we kissed passionately, the throbbing inside my knickers growing incessant.

"This damn thing has been teasing me for too long." Emily groaned as she lifted my top.

"I could say the same about your dress."

"Do something about it, then." So I did. I lifted the fabric over her body, only barely refraining from simply ripping it off her. The objective was to get Emily naked and I needed to get there fast.

I quickly shed my jeans and kicked them off the bed. My nervousness started to get to me as I fumbled with her bra for a second – hopefully my kisses distracted her enough so she didn't notice.

Why was I so nervous? I'm a pro at this. Come one, Naomi...pull it together!

When I'd finally gotten rid of the pesky thing I pulled back a bit to admire the sight. She was undeniably beautiful.

I ran my tongue along her collarbone to her right nipple as my hand worked on the other one. The ripple of goosebumps over her skin and the slight moans escaping her mouth made me smile proudly.

For as many times as I'd done this same thing to every and any type of girl you could possibly imagine, I'd never felt this exhilaration. It all felt like this was my first time.

"This is unfair."

I was too caught up in what I was going to notice the way she was looking at me.

"How so?" I asked a bit concerned.

"You're wearing way too much." She quickly put her arms around my back and unclipped my bra throwing it to one side in one slick move.

So much for cute and innocent.

I looked into her eyes before we started kissing again, the feeling inside me so intense I felt like I was about to choke from lack of air.

She looked back at me and held my face between her hands, allowing our foreheads to touch, her gesture calming me instantly.

Slowly I let my fingers wander down her body caressing it slowly until it rested idly on top of her knickers.

"You sure you want this?" I whispered against her lips, already breathing heavily.

"What do you think?" She took my hand and guided it underneath the fabric, her wetness soaking my fingers.

"I reckon this means yes" We shared a smile as I slowly moved my fingers, causing her to immediately bite her lower lip and close her eyes .

"I also think these need to go" I kissed down her legs and slid her underwear off her, stripping mine off in the process, and let my fingertips slide along her thighs as I made my way back up and kissed her again.

My fingers explored her soaking wetness as I nibbled on her neck and my free hand worked on her tits.

I was desperate to make her come but somehow also wanted to take my time, so that's just what I did. This was all going way too fast for me and for some reason I wanted to cherish each moment of Emily underneath me.

"Naomi, please" Emily moaned into my ear breathlessly. She pulled me closer to her. "Stop teasing me"

Ceasing all prior movement I pulled back enough to look into her eyes, filled to the brim with want. I could see in her eyes she was ready but I wanted to hear it. I wanted her to tell me she wanted it.

"Not until you tell me what you want me to do."

"I think you know that."

"Say it." I demanded.

"I want you to... Fuck..." I circled her center with the tips of my fingers.

"What was that?" I pretended not to notice the desperation in her voice.

"Fuck me Naomi, I want you to fuck me right now!" Her croaky voice cracked at the last syllable.

I smiled even more and started to move my fingers inside of her with a slow thrust.

"Didn't I tell you to stop teasing, Naomi?" Her voice turned from desperate to demanding, turning every bit of me on like I hadn't in a very long time.

Ok, Fitch, you wanted it this way.

I sped up immediately and kissed her hard as our nipples rubbed against one another. The feel of her breasts against mine was intoxicating, but even more was her loud moan right in my mouth which encouraged me to speed up even more.

Soon her walls tightened around my fingers and I knew she was close. I pulled back once more and looked at her.

I couldn't help myself any longer, I had to say it.

"You're so fucking beautiful when you come."

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**AN:** Soooo. How you doin'?

This story finally lost its virginity and I'm nervous as fuck, no pun intended.

If you can spare a minute, please let me know your thoughts.


	19. The flipside

**AN: **Hi!

this one's a bit shorter, sorry for that but motivation to move is hard to come by in this stupid Berlin summer heat. Not that I mind that the weather finally stopped playing premature fall.

Can't promise an update for next week yet as I have exciting real life stuff planned but I'll try to make it worth the possible wait.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own skins but I got funny neighbors and bats in the attic.

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**Twenty-seven – The flipside**

**Emily POV**

Feeling Naomi on top of me was breath-taking. She held me as I shook after I had come as if she wanted to make sure I was alright.

With the way she behaved on our date and tonight it seemed obvious she cared about me, regardless of her track record.

The way she was lying on top of me, her head on my chest and her limbs sprawled over me seemed almost protective. I don't remember her ever looking so relaxed, peaceful.

My mind was set on making her feel even better.

In a spur of the moment decision I grabbed her by the waist and quickly turned us around so I was straddling her, my wet centre on the lower part of her belly. I put my hands around her wrists and pinned her arms over her head, then kissed her showing her just how much I had enjoyed what we just did.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't think you have to ask." I mumbled against the skin of her collarbones as I kissed my way down her body. Patience was a long-forgotten virtue at this point so I didn't bother with much of a prelude before I busied my tongue on her.

"Em…" I felt her hands on the back of my head, as if I needed further encouragement. I was hungry, starving for a taste of Naomi.

"Em! Emily!" I looked up, dumbfounded. "Don't."

"Why not?" I smiled up at her. "Don't tell me you don't like this."

"That's not it." Suddenly, her eyes seemed as icy as their colour would suggest. "I just… I don't normally do this."

"You don't let girls eat you out?" I laid positioned myself beside her, leaning on my elbow, looking straight at her to make up for her avoiding glances.

"That too." She didn't sound so meek and shy a minute ago.

"You mean…" Realisation hit me. "you don't let them return the favour at all."

"Not usually."

"Well, as far as I know you don't usually go on dates either." I obviously wasn't gonna logic her into this, still a part of me hoped she'd change her mind.

"That's enough unusualness for a while."

"You're just gonna leave me in my bed? Just like this? Without even a word of goodbye?!"

She got up, despite my protests and got dressed like she was in a hurry to get out of here.

"Where are you even going at this hour?"

"Dunno. To join Cook, I guess. It's bad enough I bailed on him on a Friday night anyway." Bam. Right in the face. But I'll be damned if I let her see how much she's hurting me.

Now I wasn't under any illusions as to what this was, a one-off. But Naomi needing to get laid again by some random chick right after? Can't say that didn't sting.

"Ok, but promise me this…"

She breathed out, seeming exasperated. "Listen, Emily…"

"No. You stop right there. You don't need to give me a speech and let me down easy. I get it, ok?"

Naomi looked genuinely surprised at that. "You mean, you're not gonna go all bunny boiler on me?"

"Don't worry. As far as I'm concerned, we're cool." As long as you don't become weird.

She exhaled once more with puffed cheeks as if she'd just dodged a bullet. "What did you want me to promise then?" She was fully dressed and standing outside my door by now.

I stepped up to her until my lips were almost touching her ear and whispered. "If you don't find anyone that tickles your fancy, come back for round two."

A peck on the lips to drive the message home before I closed the door. She might be the one leaving in a rush but I refused to play the pining widow for her.

All previous pretence of not caring left me though after the door closed behind her adding a physical barrier to the emotional one Naomi was so keen on maintaining.

And here I was thinking she actually cared about me. She's just a brilliant actress, isn't she?

I used to shake my head at all the girls who feel for her antics and then even wanted more after Naomi had gotten all she wanted. Looks like it's time to stop acting so high and mighty and get in line.

For sure, I wasn't lying when I said I hadn't been fooling myself when I initiated this… shag or whatever. At least I'm sure that's what Naomi would call it.

How could I have known it would leave me feeling like this?

But that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that it wasn't just a quick fuck to release all that sexual tension that had undeniably been building between us. Starting probably from the first time we met, if we're completely honest.

Now everything was fucked. While I succeeded to contain the tears in an attempt to not look like a complete loser in front of myself I still was at a loss what to do now. Sleep surely wouldn't be easy to come by and I sure as hell didn't feel like going out – with my luck I'd run into Naomi and her newest conquest.

What to do, then? Should I text Effy again? She'd surely laugh at me and my "soap opera" but if anyone would know what I needed it was her. The fact that she was the only person I has told about my plans for tonight – meeting Naomi, the shagging part wasn't entirely planned. Ok, so I definitely didn't rule it out when I got dressed paying extra attention to wearing nice underwear. If I was only gonna get one shot at this, I'd make sure to make it memorable.

Before I could even make a decision on how to act – other than making myself a cup of tea – my phone buzzed with a text.

_You better be shagging now _

Classic Effy.

I had to admit it made me smile though.

_You're half an hour late. Naomi just left. _

I didn't have to wait long for a reply.

_Be there in ten_

Nine minutes and fifty five seconds later – not like I was staring at the clock or anything, watching the hands move in agonising slowness – Effy opened the door to my flat with her spare key.

Examining the several shopping bags she had shoved in my hand instead of properly saying hello.

"You brought vodka?"

"What every pyjama party needs." Effy pulled the bottle out of the plastic bag and went to my little kitchen nook where she fetched us glasses and poured each of us a generous measure.

"And your pyjamas are in this one?" I waved the Victoria's secret bag at her.

She didn't even bother to acknowledge my question as she sat down on my sofa, nonverbally commanding me to sit down with a slight nod to the empty spot next to her.

Then she lifted her glass and took a sip with raised eyebrows. Drink up.

And I did.

The wordless drinking commenced until the bottle was half-empty and I more than just half-drunk.

Effy's silence spoke volumes. It clearly said something along the lines of: You're not gonna make me ask what happened, Fitch. You're gonna spill the beans on your own. And it better be soon or I'll get you drunk enough to require subtitles.

"I slept with Naomi." I broke the silence. "Well, technically she slept with me."

"And now you want more." It wasn't even a question.

"Yes." There, I said it. And it instantly made me feel pathetic. I put my feet up in the couch and hugged my knees to my chest. "I didn't even get to return the favour." Sure, pretend that's what it's all about. Like you'd ever fool Effy.

"You'll see her."

"Of course I will. Trying to stay away from her and Cook never worked out, did it? But it's gonna be so fucking awkward." Tears were welling up in my eyes.

"Tomorrow." Effy turned around to look me dead in the eye.

"What?" I shook my head. " Why would I? Don't tell me this is another one of your plans."

"You not gonna like it."

Note to self: Never – repeat: never – listen to Effy again. My booze-fuelled brain might have been okay with this but my sober if not still slightly hungover self sure disagreed.

Nothing short of insanity could have me at Naomi's doorstep in nothing but a trench coat, heels and the underwear Effy had brought yesterday – "just shopping" my arse.

I dialled Effy's number "I'm positively bricking it."

"That's hardly a sexy look."

"Yeah, don't want me to ruin those expensive knickers, huh?"

"Calm down."

"Thanks. Hadn't thought of that myself. Now I'm all chill and dandy." Admittedly, we both knew the best way for me to calm down was being sarcastic with Effy and she was doing me a favour by letting me rant. "How is this even supposed to work."

"You should be familiar with the logistics."

"Ha fucking ha. Christ, I'm gonna make a fool of myself."

"You won't. Now get going. Beep-beep-beep"

Cheers, Effy.

This can't work. Or can it?

Only one way to find out and so I knocked.

"Oi, Emilio! Looking sexy as ever there. So good to see ya. For a second I thought the bird from yesterday had come back for more." He grinned at me in that way that made you wanna call him a perve but lovingly. I better not tell him that this was in fact last night's shag coming back for more.

I couldn't even bring myself to talk to Cook. What was I gonna say anyway? Excuse me while I go fuck your roommate? No, this was hardly the time for small talk.

"Ya're coming to my show next week, aren't ya?" Cook seemed to disagree with me about the small talk.

"What show?"

"My band's playing at the pub." He shrugged his shoulders, his thumbs hooked into the waistband of his boxers. "And ya should come." Isn't that what I did last night? Damn, now his pervy humour is rubbing off on me.

"I… I didn't even know you were in a band."

"Well, I am. And we're gonna rock out. And you's gonna be there."

"Doesn't seem like I have a choice, then. I smiled." Seeing a side of the cookie monster other than the womanising perv should be interesting.

"A band's like the easiest way to get laid." He grinned.

Well, that was short.

"What instrument do you play?"

"Whattaya think?"

"Hmmm." I looked him up and down in fake contemplation. "Of course, you're the front man. So singer and maybe guitar?!"

"Drums. And singing."

"Unusual."

"Unusually brilliant ya mean." Cook laughed. "Don't ya tell anyone, but it's true: The bass player really does get the most groupies."

"Is it okay if I bring a friend?" Safety in numbers.

"As long as ya friend's a she and she's an eight or higher bring a dozen!" He rubbed his hands together. "Now I'ma let ya get on with whatever business ya got with Blondie and go take care of my business." He grabbed his keys and opened the door.

Before he left he moved to whisper in my ear "I'd bet my left ball that ya're naked under those clothes." Fuck. Last thing I need now is a blush.

I walked straight towards Naomi's room and threw the door open. Hopefully she wasn't still busy with a girl.

"Fucking hell, Cook. I told you I was painting!" She was painting, indeed. But I didn't have eyes for the canvas she was working on thanks to her outfit. Or lack thereof. This was much more pleasant than walking in on Naomi fucking another woman.

"Christ. Emily. What… what are you…" She seemed to notice my glances then. "I'm naked. I paint naked." Her shy smile was all the encouragement I needed to even the score.

I let the trench coat fall around my ankles and smiled to myself as I saw her eyes widen.

"Well, that's actually rather convenient since I would've made short work of any clothes you would've worn either way."

After taking the colour palette and brush from hear hands placing them on the easel I took both her hands in mine and pulled to make her stand up.

"I thought we sorted this out."

"We did." I assured with a nod. "But you owe me." Keeping a reassuring grip on her hands I slowly walked us over to the bed, then pushed her down so she was sitting on the edge of it and repositioned her hands on my waist. "This doesn't have to be complicated, you know."

I knelt down and kissed her with all the passion I had been harbouring since I closed the door behind her. My hands were on her tits – and by the feel of her hard nipples against them more than welcome there – and I kissed up her thighs, my destination obvious.

"Wait." Damn, it couldn't have been that simple, could it? "I can't let you do that. But…2

"But what? We can still be friends?" I laughed in a mix of exasperation and the irony of the whole situation. Naomi retreated further onto the bed.

"What I meant to say was… you could still fuck me." She smiled shyly. "If you want."

Naomi Campbell was lying on her bed inviting me to fuck her. If I ever say no to that just commit me to a mental hospital It's most likely hopeless, though.

* * *

**AN: **Reviews aren't as much as they used to be. Care to change that?

You'd make a spoiled girl very happy.

See you (hopefully) soon with more Cookie monster and other characters I love dearly.

Happy Friday!


	20. Cheap tricks

**AN: **Hi lovely people!

So pulling a Moaning Myrtle and complaining about a lack of reviews actually works, huh? You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the feedback.

I have yet to answer some of you. Don't worry, I will.

So last week I finally got to see The Rocky Horror Show live and then I went to a festival which is why this is a week late. But it was the last of the season and I have some time off/study time before uni starts again. Looks like I might be able to keep those updates coming for a bit.

On to this week's events.

Did anyone order a dose of Cook? No? Well, here it comes anyway!

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Skins I'd say no to nepotism. Sorry for the typos or inaccuracies, yadda yadda...

* * *

**Twenty-eight – Cheap tricks**

Lying on my belly watching Emily who was on her left side and running my hand up and down her arm and shoulder was perhaps the most peaceful I had felt in a long time. One thing was for sure, my other shags couldn't compare to what Emily and I shared just minutes ago.

The problem was, it wasn't just her spectacular technique – though that was surely not hurting either – the little stunt Emily pulled earlier, the trench coat incident, had confirmed my prior foreboding.

I like the girl.

Fuck.

She had made me break my own no repeats rule. Along with the no touching the merchandise between my legs rule. Twice.

Apart from the time I was just recovering from there was also NCT. Of course that mindfuck of an airport toilet shag was because of her. What wasn't?

This can't go on like this.

"Oi, Naomikins! Ya're coming to me gig, no discussion!" Cook interrupted my postcoital overthinking violently.

"Get the fuck out, Cook!" Luckily my ninja reflexes allowed me to pull the duvet over Emily and me before he could get a look at us. Emily blushed a bit but her smile told me she found the situation comical. So did Cook.

"Ha! I can see ya knickers." He pointed at me, sporting that annoying grin reserved for naked women.

"I'm not even wearing any, tosser!" Emily picked up the duvet and peeked down pretending to be surprised by what she found.

"I can confirm that."

"Ok, I can see ya buttocks, then!"

"Shut up and leave, will you?"

"Not before ya promise to come to my gig."

"I promise, now get lost."

"Perfect. Emilio's already invited so you two go ahead and do ya thing. But don't ya forget we got a date later!" Emily cringed visibly at what he was implying.

"Actually, can I take a rain check today?"

"Only if ya show me ya promise to land me a nine at the gig."

"I'll do my best."

That settled the matter and he finally closed the door behind his sorry arse.

"You didn't have to cancel on him." Emily looked at me seriously.

"You're right. I didn't. But I did."

"But why?"

"Because I wanted to. Listen, this right here…" I pushed the duvet away and motioned at the small space between us "doesn't mean we're a couple or anything."

"I figured." Then why did your face fall slightly right there?

"But if I read you right – and I fancy myself quite practised at reading people – I think you might want us to be something other than just two people who hang out at bars together."

"Well."

"That's not a no, so it's a yes." It was time to clear things up. At least as much as I could with my brain still fried from all those orgasms. "Emily, look. I can't promise you anything. So I won't."

She looked like I slapped her in the face but was trying to hide the pain.

"But if this happens again on occasion, I'm ok with that. Question is, are you?"

"I–" My finger on her lips stopped her.

"Not now." I replaced my finger with my lips and kissed her gently. Please don't let me hurt you. Run, if you must. "Let's just stay like this for a bit. Can we?"

"Yes...we can...for a bit." She agreed.

The week flew by with Emily and me texting occasionally but not meeting up until the night of the gig. I can't say I was avoiding seeing her after our latest spectacular shag, but I also can't say I wasn't.

"Ya all dressed up and ready to go, Blondie?"

Cook came crashing into my room, once again without knocking which earned him a scolding.

"How many times have I told you to fucking knock AND wait for me to tell you to come in?" I slapped the back of his head.

"Oi, that actual hurts enough to consider cancelling me gig"

"Oh please, this hurts?" I slapped him again just because I found it amusing. "And while we're at it, when are ya gonna stop pretending it's a real band?"

"We are a real band! We are a bona fide rock band!" He grinned. "Boner fide. Got it? Now move it before we are late for me gig."

"You play Rock Band on a fucking Xbox on a fake stage at the bar. How the fuck is that a real gig?"

"The groupie sex is real." Cook grinned, pushing his hips forward in a suggestive thrust. "So's the passion."

"Passion my arse." I commented as I put the finishing touches on my makeup and grabbed my back. "All dressed up and ready to go now."

We went down to the bar. What other dump would allow Cook and his pseudo band to play on an improvised stage made of beer cases?

Once we opened the door, Cook jumped towards the counter to Carl. "Did ya get it done?"

"Sure, anything for my best, worst customer." Carl smiled and pulled out a rolled up piece of cloth from under the counter. "You better appreciate it. Took me a long time. A good forty, forty-five minutes."

Cook eagerly – then again, when isn't he eager? - grabbed it and unrolled a banner that read, in crooked black marker writing. _The Cheap Tricks._

Original.

"Fookin' A!" He high-fived Carl. "Now everyone's gonna know the name of the band playing their knickers off."

"Don't think just because you're entertaining us a bit tonight that you won't have to pay for these." Carl remarked as he put two bottles on the counter, the condensation visible on the outside. Ice-cold, just like I love my beer.

"What sorry excuse for a musician can't even get free drinks at their own gig?" I provoked Cook's ego on purpose.

"Ya know what, Carl!" He slammed his hand on the counter. Looks like it hit home. "If I'ma have to pay for this…" A wave of the beer bottle. "…ya at least fetch me some fookin' fish'n'chips on the house. Double serving. Cookie's hungry!"

"Deal." Carl conceded. "Are you gonna be a disgrace again and order ketchup with it?"

"Yup. An' ya best hurry up." Cook rubbed his belly as it rumbled loudly on cue.

We sat down at our usual table and Cook started stuffing his face with the chips the second his plate arrived. I didn't feel particularly hungry but was tempted enough to pick up a chip anyway.

"No fookin' way! This is mine!"

"Christ, Cook, it's more than enough."

"Ya're already eating Emilio, that should be enough!" Bam. That definitely was more than just a slap.

I had punched his nose forcefully.

The sneaky fucker squirted some ketchup on the spot I'd hit while he thought I wasn't looking.

"Speak of the devil." I distracted from his charade as Emily walked in, the brunette I knew from the Halloween party in tow.

"Hi Naomi. Cook. This is Effy." She introduced us.

Wait? That's Effy? The Effy? Bringer of calamity?

How had I not made that connection before? Of fucking course.

The brunette – Effy – walked up to Cook who had jumped up to bear-hug Emily and wiped some ketchup off his cheek with a long, slender finger only to lick it off and commented "Sweet." with a smirk.

That resulted in a full-on Cookie grin.

"Oh, there comes the man o' the night!" Cookie jumped more than walked over to the door where his little brother had just entered the bar. So much for no minors allowed inside. The older Cook threw his arms around his shoulders and walker him over to our table.

"Everyone! It's an honour to introduce ya to me brother, Paddy who's gonna assist me in a quest of rock'n'roll tonight."

Everyone, even Effy who didn't seem too keen on talking, greeted him with a unisonous "Hi Paddy!" and he came over to sit next to me grabbing a small handful of Cook's chips.

"Ya dig in, man! But after get ya arse on stage cause me watch says it's time to rock out!" He looked at his watch-free wrist for show.

Paddy finished the plate and drummed on his chest with his fists in a gorilla-like manner before jumping up an over to the impromptu stage.

So say what you will about James Cook – and believe me there's plenty of flaws in that guy only he wears them like a crown – but when he wants something his ingenuity knows no limits.

Faced with the problem of letting his animalistic nature take over and wanting to be visible as a front singer he had modified the plastic rock band drums using broom sticks and whatever else he found in combination with industrial amounts of duct tape to make himself a stand-up drum kit complete with microphone stand.

"Hey everyone! I'm Cook, this is Paddy, we're the cheap tricks and we don't need no sodding guitar player!"

Carl started the game and the boys began playing their instruments with Cook singing his favourite "Get Psyched" song.

"If ya like to gamble I tell ya I'm ya man. You win some, lose some, it's all a game to me."

A game that means a whole lot to you, Cookie, you don't fool me. But don't worry, your secret's safe.

You have to hand it to these guys for all the ridiculousness of this "gig" the show they put on was entertaining. Paddy matched his brother's hyperactive nature and banged his head rhythmically while jumping up and down singing – or more like screaming – along.

The boys played a few more songs and Cook even announced he had a joke to tell us but was shut up as soon as he spotted Carl running his hand over his throat to silence him.

"Ok, everyone, some funsponge decided we only get half an hour." Cue scolding look at Carl "So this is our last song. It was a pleasure playing for ya and we'll be there to play with ya after if ya know what I mean." He winked ever so unsubtly, then started playing.

"I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me. I'm begging you to beg me."

That's when I felt a light touch on my thigh and looked down to find Emily's hand, a hand who's owner was currently sporting a shy smile.

Fuck.

It took all my willpower not to react. While I didn't have the heart to push her away one thing was clear to me. I could not allow this. We're not some happy couple who's gonna sit here holding hands making googly eyes at each other.

My rescue came in the form of a blonde 6.5 standing by our table – frankly, I probably wouldn't have given her the time of day normally but this wasn't normally and definitely no time to be picky.

She was eager, I'll give her that, leaving no doubts about her intentions.

"Fuck it, let's dance!" I dragged her to the space where the makeshift stage was a few minutes ago and we started

Cook – never one to need an extra invitation to a party – joined us soon leaving Paddy sitting in our booth with Emily. He'll be alright; I'm sure Emily's great with kids. She's the type.

So six-point-five and I danced, or rather she was grinding against me and I let it happen, my gaze finding our spot every minute or so. Just to make sure Paddy's ok, of course.

But then they weren't there anymore. A millisecond of panic was followed by a sigh of relief as I saw them dancing together a few feet away from us. The lack of height difference was adorable.

The next song started and it was a slow ballad. Ridiculously romantic. Nothing I cared to dance to with this potential shag – more like sure thing. Luckily, my knight in shining armour – and by that I mean ketchup-stained polo shirt – arrived just in time. Why are my knights in shining armour always the Cook boys?

"May I have this next dance?" Paddy held out his hand and I wondered where he had learned such old-fashioned manners, surely not from his drunk excuse for a mother.

"Sure, Paddy!"

"Pat, call me Pat! Paddy's a pussy name!" No doubt about where he'd picked up that word.

"Ok, Pat," I took his hand and started slowly waltzing with him. "let's show them how to dance, yeah?"

And we did. The truth is, I love Paddy, er Pat. Pussy name, remember. Perhaps even more than I love his brother. And for his age, the boy had moves to cause some serious envy. Towards the end of the song he leant in to whisper in my ear – Christ, he must have grown a foot since I last saw him – "I've got a secret."

"Spill."

"I'm on a mission."

Before I could even ask what his mission was I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Mind if I cut in?" Emily.

"Sure, the little man's all yours." I offered stepping away.

"I'm not little!" he protested loudly.

"Fucking hell, you're dense!" Emily grabbed my hand and pulled me closer.

Oh.

As my luck – or Carl's music choice – would have it the next song was even cheesier than its precursor and Emily rested her head in my shoulder as she stepped close to me.

"And don't you dare give me shit about not being able to dance. I got eyes, you know." Her husky voice was so close it felt like it was inside my ear.

Yes, I know you have eyes. Beautiful, brown eyes as deep as the ocean that display your every feeling. So open. So vulnerable. So innocent.

"Emily, I don't think I can…"

"Thought so." I felt her nod against my shoulder as we waltzed around the crowded space in sync without even paying attention to it. In the corner of my eye I saw the Cook boys doing a double-bow in front of Effy, probably trying to get her to dance with them playing the double-charmer card. Good luck with that.

"You agree?" I pulled back a bit to look into her eyes. What was she doing with me, then?

"I also think that you don't think you can." She nodded with a cheeky, little lip bite and put her head back on my shoulders, gently swaying to the music. "But you don't need to."

"Come again?"

"I'm not asking to be your girlfriend, Naomi." This time it was her who initiated eye contact by holding onto my upper arms and keeping me in place as she seemed to study my face carefully. "Wow, you didn't even get a heart attack when I said the g word."

"You're a dork." A little laugh escaped me then. This was a serious conversation yet Emily made it feel so light.

"I think it's been firmly established that we both are."

"Yeah" I smiled "A pair of dorks."

"Naomi, I'm not asking for much here, ok? Hell, it's not even like I know what I want out of this." She sighed softly. "So you do your thing. But remember, I won't be your second choice or backup."

"Got it."

"So if you ever find you want something, you better grab it, ok?"

As if that whole speech hadn't been enough to make my head spin, she added a fucking cherry on top. Before I knew what hit me, she turned around on her heel and left.

Gone. Within a second.

I cluelessly looked around the bar I'd normally scan for potential victims with an expert's routine.

As much as I hate to admit it, I needed advice. And with Carl being an even bigger knob head than Cook my best mate was my best bet. I must be truly desperate to come to him for help, huh?

Turns out looking desperate was the least of my problems seeing as Cook was gone. So was his brother. So much for knight in shining armour.

Effy was nowhere to be found either. But wait, they hadn't left with her, had they?

Looks like you're on your own, Campbell.

It all boiled down to two options:

The first one was to leave her be, try and go about my night like nothing's amiss. Bloody likely to work out.

Or I could run after her like a little puppy and tell her… well, what exactly would I tell her?

I didn't think a stuttering performance in the London rain would get me any brownie points.

So I chose the former. Inaction was my best reaction or so I told myself. The problem was, with Cook gone my motivation to get laid tonight was exactly nil.

Ok, technically that wasn't true but nobody in the bar even remotely tickled my fancy.

And this is how I ended up home alone on a Friday night with Cook gone fuck knows where with boy wonder and the mysterious lady. Good for them. Sucks for me.

For the briefest moment I considered hitting a club to find a distraction of the female variety but quickly decided against it. I was simply knackered. So I went home. What an end to my night.

When I turned the key to our flat I still wasn't finished with cursing myself for being this pathetic.

Imagine my face when I opened the door and instead of an empty room found my best mate, his arms around his little brother on one side of the table facing Effy – and of course Emily – over a game of battleship.

My eyes betrayed me as they couldn't help admiring the adorable scrunch of Emily's eyebrows as she was contemplating the next move.

"Ships aren't built around corners and don't have holes in the middle." Effy commented in her usual, uninterested tone of voice as she held up her lighter to one of the plastic ships her and Emily had already taken out. "That's cheating. And I wouldn't fuck a cheat." She was now glancing at Cook.

"Too bad we never made that bet official. That one sees right through your shenanigans. No way you'd ever tap that."

"Already did, Naomikins, already did."

That's when my jaw must've hit the floor. And so did Emily's.  
Even though I didn't put it past Cookie to brag based on a lie with the subject in the same room the smirk on Effy's face was unmistakeable.

Holy fuck.

* * *

**AN: **Hands up if you saw that coming. =)

Feels great to be back. If you can, please leave me a note in the little box. It makes my day.

Cheers!


	21. Rules

**AN:**

Hi!

This AN is gonna be a bit longer but I feel that's necessary. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

First of all, once again thank you to all my reviewers. You're a great bunch. You motivate and inspire me like crazy. I'm honoured to have such awesome readers!

**Rant:**

A lot of fucking horrible shit (excuse the language, I'm sure there's more of it to come) has been happening in my country and some others in Europe lately and I feel like I can't keep my mouth shut about it anymore (even on here).

You're probably all aware that we've got a lot (as in: really a LOT!) of refugees coming to Europe for different reasons, many fleeing from war or a political regime that wants to see them dead. And what do some fucking idiots here do? They set their "homes" (meaning the poor excuses for an accommodation this country offers) on fire and think they're better people for being German.

Now I'm not even gonna start with the whole "learn from history" stuff, because no matter the previous events I hope we can all agree that no human-being should fear for their life. (Although I'm tempted to make an exception for nazi scum. But self-administered justice isn't the best thing either...)

So, to get to the point of this, as a German, as a European and mostly as a human-being, I'd like to ask you to do this:

If you don't agree that humans deserve to be treated as such and that the place or circumstances of one's birth don't determine the value of a person, then please don't read this anymore. Unfollow me, flame me, whatever. Frankly, I don't want people like that reading my stuff. Thank you

There's lots more to be said on the topic but that truly belongs elsewhere. Sorry for boring you with this. I just had to get it off my chest.

That being said, I'm sure most (if not all) of you are cool, tolerant people and I didn't mean to insinuate otherwise.

Rant over. Thank fuck.

**Disclaimer:** Skins belongs to people who love it less than I do. Sorry for the typos.

Have at it!

* * *

**Twenty-nine – Rules**

"I'm gonna need a minute to think." Emily was the first to speak after Cook had dropped that little bomb.

Without waiting for a reaction she got up and went into my room thereby cutting off my only rational escape route.

Great.

Fresh out of other options, I decided to take the place next to Paddy.

"Don't sit down."

Now I don't appreciate being told what to do at any given time but especially not now. I took a deep breath preparing to give little miss Cookie-fucker a right bickering when I saw her glance from me towards the door Emily had just closed behind herself with a semi-subtle nod.

"Ok, I'm gonna go talk to Emily but afterwards you guys owe me an explanation!" I ruffled Paddy's – Pat's – hair and walked over towards my room.

"What the fucking hell was that all about?" Nice to see you again too, Emily.

"Damned if I know." I shrugged. "But it sure as fuck looks like little Cookie got up close and personal with your friend."

"But when… I mean how?" Emily looked like a second-grader trying to solve a year four maths problem. But Emily's smart. I could all but see the cogs turning in her head until realisation dawned on her face. "That fucking bitch lied to me."

"Congrats on the swearing, but do you care to enlighten me?" How did she know more about this than I did?

"I told her not to do it!" Emily exclaimed more to the room than to me. I waited for her to elaborate but after a moment it was clear she had no intentions to do so.

"Yeah, if you could tell me the whole story that'd be great."

"Sorry, of course." She shook her head as if to rid it of confusion. "Remember the night it all began? When we first met?"

"How could I ever forget?" Christ, Campbell, cheesy much?

_It was all Effy's fault. If anyone is to be held responsible for the situation we now found ourselves in, it's her. Only time will tell whether that means I owe her a humongous gift basket or a kick in her admittedly pert arse. Of course I can only judge from what Emily told me, she's got no reason to lie to me about this, though. So here goes._

_Desperate to find a subject for her paper – thanks to a particularly annoying yet unhelpful professor Rivers – Emily confided in her best friend Effy one late Friday night she'd spent working with the prospect of doing nothing else all weekend than focus on her search. _

_Effy suggested this guy she knew through a mutual friend – or so she claimed, Emily was convinced Effy wouldn't lie to her – who had made it his pastime to come up with schemes allowing him to hook up with as many women as possible. _

_Now Emily had told me the short version of this story already that fateful Halloween night, the night when we first kissed. Frankly, back then I had been too upset – and admittedly distracted by her revealing costume – to properly pay attention. Thus I was thankful for this retelling. _

_She had made Effy promise to let her do this on her own terms. Turns out the night we met was her third night at the bar. She'd done a bit of watching, or stalking as you might call it. That's how Emily had figured out Cook and I were each other's wingmen. Interestingly, that was news to Effy. Emily briefly contemplated targeting me instead of Cook but was quickly shut down by her arguing that it was crucial she choose Cook. What the fuck, right?_

_That was what led Emily to the bar that night, the mission clear in her mind as she nervously looked up at the green sign with its golden letters: Get the bloke interested in her, ignore his friend and start your research as a first-hand experience. _

_Apparently, it had been a close call. Things sure would've turned out a different way if I hadn't come over to talk to her._

_Safe bet it wouldn't have taken long until the Cookie monster would've noticed such rewarding prey. A couple pints combined with an opened shirt button or two are enough to get my best mate talking too much for anybody's good on any given day. She could've collected all the information she needed and then some in a couple of days, possibly without ever meeting me._

Coulda, shoulda, woulda.

Emily was pacing my bedroom as she kept on retelling the story to me, by now running her hands through her hair in exasperation.

"Will you calm down, Em?" Fuck, where did that come from?

Not letting her notice my confusion at my own words I sat down patted the place next to me on my bed beckoning her to sit down. She followed suit.

"I'm pretty sure she went back to the bar after I texted her to tell her I'd changed my mind about who to pursue. You rarely get much emotion out of her but she clearly was disappointed in me. That's when it must've happened." Emily still hadn't calmed down much so I put my hand on hers as it was resting on her thigh.

Bad move.

It felt like the air in the room froze and was set on fire at the same time. Fuckety fuck.

"What was that earlier?" Way to change the topic, Em. Damn it, stupid brain. Stop calling her that. I could feel the hand underneath mine moving, almost squirming like she was uncertain whether to keep it there or not.

"Frankly, I don't know." That wasn't much but it was the truth.

"Cause I can damn well tell you what it looked like." She was sobbing. Your doing, Naomi. Good job. "I wouldn't even have come here if Pat hadn't insisted."

"The Cook charm's hard to resist, eh?" Not like I really thought it could be that easy to lighten the mood and maybe even distract from the serious topic.

No, this was now or never and I had it coming for me.

"You know if you need me to leave you alone all you have to do is ask."

Whether it was the single tear sliding down her porcelain cheek, the way her voice broke with that selfless statement I couldn't say. All I know is that my hand was drawn to her face, first wiping away the tear with the pad of my thumb, then pulling her into a tight hug with my arms encircling her as she sobbed into my shoulder.

"Please don't leave me alone. I don't want that." I could barely contain my own tears at this display of emotions.

"I can't pretend it doesn't bother me when you dance with bimbos."

"Well, dancing with bimbos is what I do. I can't just stop." I pulled back to look into her eyes and make sure we both were in the clear about what I really meant by dancing.

"I wouldn't ask that of you, Naomi. I wouldn't wanna change who you are. I'm rather fond of who you are, you know?"

I like you. Do you like me, too?

"I know." I nodded. "I'm rather fond of who you are, too." In case you hadn't noticed.

Putting a strand of hair behind her ear I seized the opportunity and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"So what do you want to do now?" I whispered against her lips.

"It's up to you really. If you wanna go on with your life like nothing happened…" Didn't sound too bad. "…like this…" she took my hand, placed it over her heart, then mirrored my position. "didn't happen, you can do that. But I won't be around for it."

My heart sank at that notion.

"No." That was not an option.

"Well in that case we're gonna need some rules. And I don't mean the kind you and Cook have, even though in some weird way I guess I respect those."

"Like what?"

"Like no dancing with bimbos with me in the same room."

"Ok." I nodded.

"And no booty calling me right after you shagged a random."

"Check." Wait, what? "You mean we could still be…"

"Yes, Naomi." She nodded with a small grin. "If that's what you want."

"I'd love to."

"Also no walking off to hook up right after you slept with me." Emily looked down to her lap, visibly saddened.

"This might be a small consolation but I went straight home that night."

"You mean, you didn't?" I shook my head. Her face lit up and I internally patted myself on the shoulder for being the cause of that smile. "Second to last rule: If you're supposed to spend the night with me, you're in bed next to me by midnight."

"Four." I argued, then shrugged "I have wingwoman duties to attend to."

"Two."

"Deal."

Whatever the last rule was, it would have to wait because I couldn't resist those beautiful lips anymore as I closed the distance and kissed Emily passionately with my hands around her neck.

Our lips and tongues danced in perfect synch. The beating of my heart must've been loud enough to wake the neighbours. Soon it was joined by another rhythmic pulse. A very pleasant yet tantalizing pulse felt in my suddenly uncomfortable jeans.

Did I dare take this any further?

The question was academic since it was clear I didn't have a choice, what with the pull that woman has on me. I slowly moved my hands to the hem of her top and began to lift it as I was kissing her neck looking for that sweet spot that made her moan a nuance huskier when touched. I had memorized it the first time I had kissed the soft flesh there.

"Wait." Suddenly she pushed me away a bit. "One more thing."

"I think in this state I'd sell my firstborn." I smiled and she returned it. Bless Emily Fitch for liking my lame jokes.

"You don't kiss anyone on the mouth but me."

Actions speak louder than words, right? So I acted by taking her cute, little face in my hands and kissing her forcefully yet gently and felt her return the kiss with the same want I felt evident in the movement of her lips against mine. Soon, only satisfying the need of our hungry mouths wasn't enough anymore and what started out as a heated kiss turned into roaming hands and needy moans.

Straddling her thighs, I was just nibbling on Emily's collarbone when a particularly loud groan escaped her.

I ceased all previous movement, frozen in the moment. Fuck.

"What is it?" Those big, brown eyes looked at me expectantly, almost pleadingly, the real question they were asking: Did I do something wrong?

"Fuck, that was hot." was the first thing I could say trying to calm her. Not my brightest moment.

"Was?"

"Well the thing is Effy and two shades of Cookie are outside and somehow I doubt neither of us could stay quiet enough to not draw attention to us."

"Right. I totally forgot about them."

"Me too."

"Doesn't help that Cook has the hearing-ability of a bat when it comes to sex noises." We both chuckled at that. "So what do you say we go out there and join the unlikely threesome?"

And that's what we did. Only it had turned into a party of five by now.

"There's the lovebirds! We figured we'd spice this game up. Make a night of it." Cook announced as I opened the door.

"Lovebirds?" Emily's sister exclaimed from in between Cook and Pat with a distinct lisp and a much less husky voice than her twin. No matter how off his face he was, it puzzled me how Cook could ever have confused the two. "So she's the reason you haven't called me?"

"The reason I haven't called you, dear sister, is because it's only been a week since we last met up and I'm actually kind of busy." Emily piped up behind me.

"Busy shagging her, weren't you?" Katie looked me up and down, then commented – judged – with a shrug "You could do worse." Thanks for the seal of approval.

"And you are…?" I asked the quirky-looking blonde with pigtails next to Effy.

"I'm Panda! Effy invited me over. Whizzer to meet so many new friends!" She spoke a tad too fast and loudly for my taste but that girl exuded pure enthusiasm. No idea how she and Effy could be friends.

"Ya know, Panda, I think I know ya from somewhere." Really, Cook? That must be the lamest pick-up line ever followed by I lost my number, can I have yours?

Talkative just a moment before the girl suddenly clasped her own hand before her mouth and developed a bright pink blush.

"He's the Crayola dick." Effy commented in her usual uninterested tone.

"Worst superhero name ever." I remarked as I got Emily a beer from the kitchen and sat down on the floor in front of where she took the last spot on the sofa.

"He popped Panda's cherry." Wow, two complete sentences in a row. Must be a new Effy record. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't talk the rest of the night to make up for the over exhaustion of her vocal cords.

"Exactly!" Cook hit the table with his palm hard enough to startle a few of the girls – I had long since grown immune to the Cookie mannerisms – as realisation hit him. "At that college party years ago. We were playing twister if ya know what I mean." Always over the top, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as if anyone had been in doubt about what they actually have been doing.

"Speaking of games. Tonight calls for another one. Just ya luck my man Pat knows a fookin awesome one."

The boys proceeded to instruct us on how to play, often talking at the same time and making the rules sound unnecessarily complicated. I watched the whole spectacle for a bit until I cleared things up.

"Guys, it's simple. Basically, we're playing a hybrid of spin the bottle and truth or dare only the dare is replaced by a more or less disgusting drink you have to chug. So, if it's your turn you spin the bottle and whoever it lands on flips a coin. Heads means you gotta chug a drink mixed by the bottle-spinner, tails means they get to ask you a question you have to answer truthfully. Everyone got it?"

Nods all around. Campbell logic: 1, Cook mayhem: 0.

"Why aren't we just playing truth or dare?" Katie objected.

"Cause with Cook every dare is to show him your tits."

"Less talk, more action!" Pat demanded, patting his thighs in a manner that showed just how much alike his big brother he was.

My best mate spun the bottle to determine his first victim. Just my luck it instantly landed on Emily. Now I was pretty sure any question Cook came up with would include me and what we were doing with each other. Not that I had a name for it but I'd say it was something brilliant.

So I hoped for heads and my luck didn't fail me this time.

Cook came up with a strong yet not too nasty looking mix of several juices and lots of vodka and Emily was being a good sport by chugging it in one quick go.

The next round the bottle landed on Panda and the coin on tails. Truth time.

"Why did you sleep with Cook?" Looks like Emily was still fascinated or at least puzzled by his luck with the often not-so-ladylike ladies. It was simple really, he's stupid. Girls like stupid. At least some of them, that was good enough for him.

"He played twister with me! And I like his smile!"

It went on and on a few rounds with Emily seeming to have a magnetic draw to the bottle as it seemed it landed on her almost every other spin. Thankfully, she also had a talent for getting her coin to land on heads.

As everyone got more and more drunk, Emily faster than everyone else thanks to the extra drinks, the questions got more intimate as well.

"Have ya ever had a threesome?" Paddy – who got served only beer at my insistence of trying to at least keep up some pretence of responsibility, what with the kid being barely a teenager – asked Katie when it was his turn.

"Of fucking course she has!" Emily piped up. She had insisted I take the spot on the couch and curled up next to me which meant on top of me for lack of space. Not that I minded. She was now considerably tipsy and more and more let go of any inhibitions. It was cute when I felt her hand gently caressing my skin at my waist where my shirt had ridden up. It went too far though when she started cupping my breast for everyone to see. Not that I didn't want her there.

"You better remember rule number eight with this one, Cookie!" I winked. Admittedly I wasn't exactly sober myself and thus let Emily kiss my neck leisurely.

"No eye-contact during threesomes! Best one!" he exclaimed. "Katiekins, ya gotta tell me, was it a good threesome or a heavenly one?"

"What's that even supposed to mean?" Her lisp was even more pronounced with the alcohol in her system.

"Good means two girls, heavenly is three."

Katie's face scrunched up in disgust. "Ew. You got the wrong twin. Muff-muncher's over there!"

She pointed at Em who took a break from feeling me up to raise her head and ask "Did anybody say muff?" Fuck, she's as bad as me. Then she mumbled "Rather a muff-muncher than a slut." Against my skin, barely loud enough for her sister to her and growl at.

"Slut? That's rich coming from you!" Katie added.

"Shut the fuck up, slapper!" Whatever was going on in this public display of sisterly love, Effy interrupted it suddenly telling Katie to spin the bottle already and get on with it.

I myself couldn't help but wonder what she was about to tell us concerning Emily's past, though.

Next turn was Effy who had to drink the cosmopolitan Katie made her – lame as fuck – and then expertly spun the bottle to land on Emily. I bet she got powers of telekinesis or something.

Having no choice but to face her fate she flipped the coin and of fucking course it had to land on tails. She looked up at me like a deer in the headlights. All I could do was shrug.

No running away now. I took a deep breath steeling myself for whatever question Effy was about to throw at us.

"Are you gonna shag right here or will you make a last minute trip to Naomi's room?"

Laughter all around. So much for our drunken subtlety.

With her level of intoxication, she barely managed to spin the bottle landing on Panda who had had considerably less drinks than Emily but was equally wasted and proceeded to throw heads. Emily was nice enough to present her with a glass of water. Next turn was Effy with a truth question from her mate.

Couldn't be too bad, right?

So I thought. But I thought wrong. Her question would leave not only Effy speechless.

"Dunno if it's ok to ask that."

"Panda, you can ask anything in this game." Effy assured her. She seemed a bit more open and straightforward with this weird girl than she did with the rest of us.

"Ok, But don't go ape on me, yeah?"

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Here goes.

"Why did you break up with Freddie?"

That left the room quiet for a moment, some faces shocked, others puzzled.

Of course it had to be Katie who interrupted the sudden silence. "Who the fuck's Freddie?"

"McClair" Emily said calmly, appearing to have suddenly sobered-up.

She knew him, too? What the fucking hell?

And here I thought I'd never hear that name again in my life...

* * *

**AN: **I promised to introduce more characters, didn't I?

So, any feedback on that turn of events?

Also, I'm ot even gonna pretend I came up with the "not kissing anyone else" rule all by myself. That's (not so) straight from Queer as folk. Regrets? None.

Please leave me a review if you got a minute.

Thanks for reading and see you next week!


	22. Sweet disposition

**AN:**

Look who dares show their face! Yep, this is a bit late. Yep, I'm sorry.

Thing is, I've been a bit busy and some wonderful stuff has happened (namely the woman formerly known as "someone awesome in my life" finally became my girlfriend and I couldn't possibly be happier about that).

I'd like to thank you all for the more than nice reviews. It's beyond words how great this feels.

That being said, this chapter might not clear things up completely but offer some more info on the mystery of Freddie McClair. The movie being watched is 500 day of summer. If you don't know it I hope what I described helps but really, it doesn't really matter too much for the fic. Hope it's alright the way I did it.

In other news, from now in I'll aim for a two-week interval between posts because I do need to focus on uni more even though I'd love to just write all day. Hope you understand and keep reading. If I can, I'll post more often. But I can't promise.

Last but really not least: Special thanks to anyone who sent me a PM or commented on my last AN in a review. Glad you guys seem to agree with me. Short update: The German government finally woke from their sleep. Some good things are happening, some backlashes too. Only time will tell.

**Disclaimer:** I may not own Skins but I got the best girlfriend. (Sorry/not sorry for being cheesy.)

Sorry for any typos and inconsistencies. Had a fair bit of changes on this one so chances are I messed it up somewhere.

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**Thirty – Sweet disposition**

**Emily POV**

McClair. Fucking McClair. I wouldn't mind if I never heard that name again in my life.

Not that Freddie McClair was a bad person per se. At least not from what I know.

Yet he had undeniably done severe damage with his negligent inaction.

"I'm gonna go get some drinks." Cook spoke up but then went to his room instead of the kitchen and Naomi followed him straight away.

"What the fuck was that all about?" My sister was tactful as always.

"Shut up, Katie! Didn't you see how upset he looked?"

"Do I ever get to be upset? Do I ever get to be anyone but me?" Effy. With the panicked look on Naomi's face I had almost forgotten to worry about her.

She looked as shocked as Effy ever looked, her stare straight forward, knees bent before her chest.

"Eff, are you ok?"

Just then Naomi came back out of Cook's room looking immensely stressed. Blame me if you will, but I wanted to kiss that frown off her face.

"Sorry guys, but how about we call it a night?"

No objections from anyone. Even Katie seemed to have gotten the message.

"Pat, it's too early for your train back home so I'll make you a bed on the couch or you can crash in my bed. But the big man's out for the night."

That was it? She was just gonna throw us out. A part of me couldn't help but wish she's treat me at least a little differently than the rest of the group. Not like I was expecting an invitation to stay the night, pretty sure that would be against the house rules.

This definitely wasn't the time to make a scene though. And what reason did I have for that, anyway? Not like Naomi's my girlfriend or anything close. So I said goodbye with a hug like everyone else willing myself not to sulk too much.

I put my arm around Effy's shoulders as we took the elevator down and told her: "You have two choices. Either come home with me or I come with you. I'm not leaving you on your own tonight."

In her eyes I could see she initially wanted to fight me on that but then took a deep breath and nodded. My place, it is.

When I turned the key in my door Effy still hadn't said a word.

"This isn't gonna be much better come morning, huh?" I voiced what I had been fearing since we left Naomi's and Cook's flat when I brought her to bed and handed her a strong sleeping pill to allow her some rest.

She shook her head. It's back. I pulled the duvet over her and made to go to the couch when I felt a weak grip on my wrist, the message unmistakeable. Stay with me. And I did.

Thankfully, the pill had Effy, who had cuddled up to me in a foetal position, sleeping within minutes and not even the vibration of my phone on the night stand roused her as it cut through the silence announcing a text from Naomi.

_Sorry I didn't kiss you goodbye. Cook needed me, you know. Hope you understand. Wanna watch a film sometime soon? xx_

After a quick answer I felt my own eyelids get heavy and soon fell asleep myself.

The next morning I woke up alone and needed a second to remember last night's events and that I wasn't supposed to have my bed to myself yet.

On my nightstand I found an explanation for the lack of Effy in my bed. Effy in my bed. Christ, that sounds wrong.

_Went home. Thanks for yesterday. Eff_

Not like I expected a novel.

_Are you ok? Text me if you need me. Em_

I had to make sure Effy was alright now.

_Stop worrying. I'll live. Naomi should've apologised for being a prick by now. Enjoy twin time._

Damn. Twin time. I'd totally forgotten about that. After yesterday night got cut short Katie had insisted that we have brunch together in… Twenty minutes.

I was already running late. No doubt my twin wouldn't fail to notice and comment on my got-ready-in-five-minutes look. But what else was I to do? Making her wait would surely wake the wrath of Katie.

Miraculously, I arrived at the café just in time which means I was just as late as my sister and bumped into her at the door.

"Bitch, you're late." Good morning to you, too.

"No more than you so leave it, Katie." That shut her up long enough for us to sit down and order.

"You look like microwaved shit! Spent all night crying over that Campbell bitch, didn't you?"

"I didn't. And stop calling her a bitch."

"As soon as she stops behaving like one." My lovely sister sneered.

"You know what?" I was getting fed up. "I've had enough. Who are you to judge? You've been laying waste to the male population of London ever since you arrived here. And what the fuck is it you're doing with Cook anyway?" I was on a roll. Served her right for intruding into my personal life as if we were sixteen.

"Sure, attack me for looking out for you, why wouldn't you?" The way she looked at me then told me what I already knew deep inside: She really did care even if she often had an unusual way of showing it. "And Cook and I are just hanging out, not that it's any of your business."

"Hanging out?" I raised my eyebrows. "More like you hanging from his headboard cause you're chained to it."

"Haha, very funny. Stop distracting. What's the deal with you and Campbell?"

"Damned if I know." I admitted. "All I know is what it isn't."

"Well, make sure she knows just because she got a supermodel name doesn't mean she can get away with acting like one. She better treat my little sister right, or else…"

"As much as I appreciate the gesture, you're barely six minutes older and I know how to take care of myself."

"Just have her know I'm not afraid of flying shoes."

Ah, the perks of having an overprotective sister. Even though it didn't change anything about my current situation I have to admit knowing Katie had my back did make me smile.

Only a couple hours later I was waiting outside my building for Naomi to pick me up for a ride to the cinema.

"Someone's early." I commented as she pulled up on her bike.

"Someone's been waiting already." She deadpanned as she took off her helmet and began fixing her hair in the bike's mirror.

"Stop it, you're beautiful enough." I took her hands in mine and guided her off the bike.

"Dito." She grinned. Queen of compliments.

"So you couldn't wait to see me, huh?" I dared.

The shy nod and not-so-shy kiss I received in answer were well worth taking the risk.

Feeling bold – positive feedback does that to me – I positioned my hands on her hips and soon felt her mirror my move. We kissed more and more heatedly until we both had to come up for air.

Now I don't know about Naomi but I was starting to fell slightly… flustered.

"How about we skip the cinema and go watch a movie at my place instead?" Naomi suggest as if she'd read my mind.

"Brilliant thinking." I smiled as we mounted the bike and Naomi started the engine.

During the ride I had my hands under Naomi's leather jacket – as if she wasn't already insanely hot without it – and played with the hem of her jumper. My upper body was cuddled close enough to her back that I could feel if not hear her giggle at my touch.

Luckily, the ride didn't take too long as all the traffic lights seemed to be in our side today and we soon stumbled into the lift of Naomi's building.

As soon as the door closed behind us – thankfully leaving us without company – she pushed me up against the wall and kissed me forcefully not stopping until the doors opened at her floor.

Her blue eyes, considerable darker than usual, were fixed on mine as she rested her forehead against mine. "That's what you get for distracting me while I was driving." She smiled cheekily while she stepped away from me and went to open the door.

On the spur of the moment I pushed Naomi onto the sofa and straddled her thighs. I could feel a throbbing in my jeans already and wanted to make sure she did too.

We kissed a lot, just lying on the couch, first me on top of her, then side by side, our hands wandering to increasingly interesting places. All of a sudden, Naomi grabbed me by the hips and pushed me down so she could top me.

"What are you doing?" Not exactly the brightest question I've asked in my life. She'd doing the great fucking Northern Run, what does it look like she's doing?

"Making the best of Cook's not being here." Naomi smiled against the skin of my neck she was currently kissing.

"Is he ok now? He looked really upset yesterday." Yes, I'd grown to care for the boy, pig that he is and all.

"Yeah, he's not quite himself again but getting there. The mention of Freddie wasn't exactly the highlight of his night."

"What exactly is his history with him?"

"I don't know about you, Emily, even though that cute blush on your cheeks is giving me an idea, but I don't wanna talk about Cook right now."

"Ok, what movie are we watching then?"

"I don't think we'll be seeing much of the screen." She winked as if I hadn't gotten the message. Miss Campbell, you can be surprisingly lame. "So I suggest something with a great soundtrack."

"Perfect."

Honestly, she could've put on a documentary about watching paint dry and I wouldn't have minded. As long as it meant her attention would be focussed on me.

"500 days of summer ok?"

"Never watched it."

"That's not about to change." She grinned. "Let me sum it up for you so I don't feel guilty." Just shut up and kiss me, I thought. "So Tom's job is to write greeting cards. One day, his boss had this new assistant, Summer, whom he falls madly in love with. Problem is, Summer doesn't want a relationship, so they kinda start dating but aren't really a couple. And Tom goes completely off the rails when she ends it."

Damn, screw the film. I could barely focus on her words as my eyes were fascinated by the movement of her lips.

Thankfully, a few clicks later Naomi was done selecting the film and put her arm around me as she leaned back on the sofa.

We kissed leisurely as the intro played.

"_This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie 'The Graduate'. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief…"_

And I'm sure whatever else the narrator said then was interesting but my attention faded as I felt Naomi's fingers that had previously been on my cheek inching their way further and further down my neckline.

"…_Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story."_

After that, all I remember is Regina Spektor's _Us_ playing in the background as she gently pushed her hand underneath the fabric of my bra and cupped my breast, the pad of her thumb performing slow, sensual movements over my erect nipple.

"Fucking hell, I want you so much." She moaned into my mouth as our lips parted for air from a heated kiss.

"Take me, then?" If necessary, I'd beg her. The expression in her face told me what her lips were to phrase: As if you'd have to ask.

The movement of her thumb against my nipple became quicker then, more insistent, as I felt her other hand sneak under my shirt to caress the skin on my hips. I grew Impatient though. So I grabbed her wrist and made to redirect her towards my pants. Next stop: Emily's knickers. Thank you for choosing Fitch airlines.

Naomi didn't object to that and slowly mover her fingers deeper until she was cupping my centre.

"Fucking hell, just do it already." I moaned into our kiss before I was distracted by a smashing sound. Thankfully, that was only in the movie and we remained uninterrupted. Or so I thought.

The door opened and a loud "Honey, I'm home!" announced Cook's arrival and caused Naomi's hand to still as it rested against my centre. Please, Cookie, no small talk now. Just go to your room and let me release some tension.

"Oi, little Red! Fancy meeting ya 'ere!"

"Actually, Emily and I were just watching a movie." Naomi announced while stealthily withdrawing her hand from my pants. Oh god, why?

"This isn't a date, right?" Before I could even begin to ponder Cook's question Naomi was quick to shake her head. Great. Just fucking great. "Then ya won't mind me joining ya. Ain't nothin' better than a good ol' fashioned movie night." Fucking cock-block. Looked like I'd end up actually watching the movie after all.

"Whoot kinda pussy actually smashes plates when they're angry?" Cook sat down beside me in what must've been a comfortable stance. At the same time, the situation in my pants was highly uncomfortable.

"Tom does." No shit, Sherlock.

"Tom's a pussy."

"Shut up and watch the film, will you?" A small, self-satisfied smile spread on my lips as Naomi's statement told me I wasn't the only one frustrated by the Cook invasion.

As Cook leaned forward to reach for the popcorn bowl – previously ignored by Naomi and me – she leaned over and whispered in my ear: "Sorry, but I can't say no to him. Not after yesterday."

Damn. Right. It wasn't just Effy, Cook hadn't had the best night either. I made a mental note to find out exactly what his connection to Freddie McClair was and decided to make the best of the night, sexual frustration aside.

"_I don't wanna get over her. I wanna get her back." _Cook mocked love-sick Tom. "What a fookin pussy!" He commented, then threw some popcorn up in the air and caught it with his open mouth. "19 in a row. Two more and we got a new record!"

"_Maybe playing it safe is the wrong approach." _Tom's colleague announced in the film when he was trying to introduce a new holiday: _"May 21__st__ – Other mother's day."_ The world's surely been waiting for that.

"Ya're damn right, bro! Fook playing it safe!" He threw another piece and it landed on his chin. Close miss, but a miss nonetheless. I held back a snicker at his disappointed face.

"Fook, now I got a kernel stuck in my teeth."

"Coronel stuck in my teeth!" Naomi dead-panned instantly, then her and I raised our hands to salute smirking at each other.

"You guys say what you will about Tom, he's got great taste in music. I fucking love the smiths."

"_To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die."_

"That would be some of the biggest bullshit I ever heard in me life." Cook made it really hard for me to remain sympathetic with him. "I say live ya life and don't ya worry 'bout death."

The glance Naomi was shooting him shut Cook up for a bit. It was about an hour later, with quite a bit of cuddling between the two of us, before he spoke again.

"So lemme get this straight: This chick tells the bloke right away that she ain't looking for a relationship, so they fook and it's all fine and dandy but then he starts going all butthurt girlfriend on her?"

"Yep, that's exactly it." Naomi bit her lip.

"That's bollocks. And what the fook is she doing getting married now?"

For a minute there I thought of explaining to him that sometimes one person can make you change your ways, no matter how set on them you were. Then I looked at Naomi and sighed. Maybe he's right. Maybe it's all bollocks.

There I was, watching a somewhat romantic movie with the woman I was crushing on – hard – her clueless roommate and _You make my dreams_ stuck in my head.

Cook excused himself to the loo and I found myself wishing for the movie to end so I could escape this unsolicited threesome.

"I'm sorry tonight didn't go as planned." Naomi spoke up suddenly. "Wanna go to the Winter Wonderland to make up for it?"

And maybe it's not bollocks at all.

"I'd love to." I smiled and cuddled closer to her.

* * *

**AN:** How was that? Hating Cook a bit?

Awesome people who wanna make me really happy feel free to review.

See you soon!


	23. Winter Wonderland

**AN: **Hi you lovely, lovely people!

I don't think I've properly expressed my gratitude for all the reviews, follows and faves. They make me so proud. Thanks everyone!

This chapter is quite a bit longer than my usual ones and it does come in a different packaging as well.

A bit of an explanation: Remember the Himym episode of Lily's and Marshall's housewarming party with the three perspectives?

The part in the living room, the part in the kitchen and so on... Well, I was naive enough to attempt something like this in writing.

I guess I could describe the POV(s) as one narrator standing at each of the three "stations" of the Winter Wonderland and observing our group of friends or rather the parts of them currently there.

So you basically have three descriptions of simultaneous events.

Did I make this sound sufficiently and unnecessarily complicated yet? Thought so.

As I haven't recommended any fics in a while I won't hold back from doing so now. Check out After the moonrise by Alexandra Condesso if you feel like it and leave her a nice review. She doesn't have nearly enough.

I'm a first-hand witness to how wonderfully welcoming this community can be to new authors. It's the best motivation possible.

**Disclaimer:** While I have been to London quite a few times, none of these were around Christmas. Therefore, all my descriptions of the Winter Wonderland are based on sloppy research, my personal experience with the German equivalents and me doing whatever the hell I want.

Also, surprise, I don't own Skins, nor Himym or a Ferris wheel.

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**Thirty-one – Winter Wonderland**

The Winter Wonderland in London's Hyde Park is an annual funfair imitating the traditional German "Christmas markets". Many of the people working there come from Germany to sell authentic food like bratwurst or operate rides such as the Ferris wheel that offered a beautiful view of London around Christmas time.

* * *

**At the Ferris wheel**

_Let's meet up at seven at the big wheel. xx _

The text had reached Emily at work as she was just finishing up. Despite her excitement for the date she had sworn herself to silence and waiting for Naomi to contact her instead of texting her first. She had to admit even now – as she was waiting for Naomi by the ticket counter and reread her text – she felt a certain sense of pride at having kept her promise to herself. Despite her attempt to be a bit more cool about things with Naomi she couldn't help but smile as she imagined the two kisses at the end to be real-life ones. Sweet or heated like the last time they met before being interrupted by Cook.

Sighing to herself, she put her phone back in the pocket of her coat and started scanning the growing crowd of people for Naomi's blonde head.

"Guess who?" she heard the question before she noticed the gloved hands covering her eyes.

"I'd say the lamest person on earth." Emily dead-panned unimpressed by Naomi's attempt at a joke and turned around to face her.

"That'd be me." She scratched the back of her neck and smiled at Emily. "Despite my lameness, do I get a kiss hello?"

Emily answered that with actions instead of words, pulling Naomi closer to her and kissing her passionately like she had just imagined.

When she finally came up for air Naomi commented with a smile: "Now that's a good reason to be glad Cook never arrives anywhere ahead of time."

"Cook?" Emily's raised eyebrows gave away her surprise at the mention of that name.

"Yeah, he left to pick up your sister earlier. Effy and Panda are coming too. They're both a bit loony, don't you think? But in completely different ways."

"Yeah, sure… Effy told me." The lie didn't even sound convincing in her own head but then, what other choice did she have?

"Oi losers! Who's up for a little competition with the Cookie monster?"

"So you brought the others too." Naomi observed.

"Cookie ran into us at the entrance. And he said he's gonna give me the best sausage I ever had!" Panda exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Do you think she knows she sounds filthy half the time?" Naomi asked Emily out of the corner of her mouth.

"How about it, Pandapops. We go over to the arcade and see who can win the bigger prize? And if I win you an' I get to willy-waggle."

"Sounds bril. But what if I win?"

"I'll give ya a sausage." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively but his double-meaning was lost on Panda.

"Emsy, you and I should try out the wheel, ya? Spend some twin time… You two can get mulled wine in the meantime, right?" Naomi looked over at Effy and nodded; something about Katie's tone leaving no doubt that this was the way thing would be done.

After everyone but the sisters had left, Katie made to enter the Ferris wheel effectively dragging Emily with her as if they were attached by an invisible leash. Despite how different their relationship was now compared to Emily's doormat days, sometimes for the twins old habits died hard.

As it was still early and Katie did not let the cold keep her from flashing her impressive cleavage at the ticket vendor, they got in a cabin all of their own.

"So what did the Campbell bitch do this time?" They had barely had time to sit down before Katie blurted out her reason for separating Emily from the group.

"Who says Naomi did anything?" The scowl on her face gave her away. "And anyway, I told you not to call her that."

"I'll stop calling her a bitch when she stops acting like one."

"Naomi didn't do anything." Emily snapped and folded her arms in front of her chest. This was not even remotely how she had imagined spending tonight. Technically, she had to admit, Naomi really hadn't done anything. It was all her, wasn't it? She must have imagined it.

"Oh my god! You thought this'll be a date!" Her sister realised causing her to blush a bright crimson. "If you ask me, there's no point in pining after her. You can do so much better. Find someone who wants the same stuff you do. Someone who'll take you here as a date, win you a teddy bear or whatever. Or you keep it simple." She shrugged.

"I'm not asking you though! And by keeping it simple you must mean mindless sex with people like Cook." Emily scrunched up her nose. The part of her that really liked Cook as a friend feeling a bit guilty.

"What the fuck happened with Cook anyway? He's been a bit off since the other night."

At that, Emily shot her sister a warning look as if to say: You better stick to your own advice and keep it simple here. As if Katie didn't know herself that out of all the men in the world this wasn't the one to fall for.

"It's all because of Freddie, Effy's ex."

"Yeah, well. She's a fucking weirdo for sure."

"She's actually a really great friend, not that it's any of your business. So you know how I met Effy, right?"

_She hadn't always been as stable as she is these days. Admittedly, Effy was what Katie so nicely called "a fucking weirdo" not even Emily could deny that. But now, at least, she was able to live a remotely normal life. A few years ago, things had been very different. To this day, Emily could not tell for sure whether the demons that haunted her friend were gone now or if she had just learned to deal with them better. _

_A younger Effy had applied a very simple, short-term solution to her troubles. She ran. Whenever she had stayed in one place long enough for the demons to catch up, she moved. They always ended up finding her again but it was the only thing that helped, if only for a little while. _

_One night she met a guy at a costume party and the first moment they laid eyes on each other she felt that he would play a strong role in her life. Whether that would be a positive or negative influence she could not say. But she could not stay away. It didn't need much persuading for him to come with her. They travelled across Asia first, never owning more than the clothes on their bodies and a backpack each. _

_With occasional jobs and the savings Effy had inherited years prior they got by just fine. All that was before Jamaica though. She shouldn't have let him pick the destination at one of their lets-see-where-it-takes-us trips to the airport. Freddie changed in Jamaica. Only weeks after their arrival, the boy who otherwise could be counted on to not get anything done had rented property on the island and turned it into a hostel where he would sell mediocre, overpriced weed to tourists that were even more oblivious than he was. _

_The trouble began when the demons caught up. Freddie didn't want to leave. He didn't want to lose Effy either but he did a bad job at resolving that conflict of interest. Emily had yet to be told the whole story and circumstances of their separation but she knew it ended then and there, with Effy coming back to England and her older brother picking up the pieces. _

Emily had just finished telling the story when the wheel stopped for them to get out, the rest of the gang already waiting at the exit.

"Did you get the wine?" Katie demanded looking at Naomi.

"Effy and I were obedient little drinkers, yes." She answered with a cheeky grin.

"I meant bring drinks for us, not get yourself shitfaced, lezzer!"

"Do I look like your fucking butler? Get your own sodding drink!" Naomi seemed more on edge than earlier, Emily noticed. So far, she hadn't experienced her become aggressive under the influence of alcohol.

"Let me get the lady a drink, then!" Cook offered as he put his arm around Katie's shoulder and walked towards the bar with her.

"I wanna go on the wheel now! Mum won't believe when I tell her I got three friends at the same time!" Panda's enthusiasm kept Emily from pointing out that she had only just gotten off the wheel and didn't feel much like getting right back on. If it meant so much for the other girl she'd take one for the team.

Once inside, Emily felt Naomi put her arm around her. For a second she contemplated pushing it away but then decided against what she considered a childish reaction. Naomi didn't do anything wrong, she tried to remind herself. It's your own fault for getting the wrong idea.

"Whizza, we can spin this thing!" Pandora announced and turned the little, round table in the middle.

Naomi had chosen that moment to move her mouth next to Emily's ear so she could whisper to her. With the unexpected acceleration, she ended up hitting her face on the side of the other girl's head.

"You ok there?" Emily asked in concern after having felt the blow of the impact.

"I'll live." Truthfully, Naomi's nose hurt quite a bit but she was sure it'd be over in a minute and she didn't wanna ruin the ride with unnecessary complaints.

In the meantime, Pandora had built up quite some speed and they were all spinning around rather quickly as they reached the peak of the wheel. Effy put her hand on her friend's as if to tell her it was enough. The damage was done.

Turning green in the face, Pandora turned around and barely managed to lean over the railing before she puked out of the Ferris wheel, luckily missing the waiting crowd and hitting a few Christmas trees instead.

Once they had finished their descend, Pandora got out, followed by Effy who motioned for Naomi to stay put and produced two more tickets from her coat pockets entitling the girls to another round on the wheel.

Now that they were alone with no one there to unexpectedly spin them around, Naomi dared another attempt at whispering in Emily's ear. "Ever since Cook interrupted us, I couldn't stop thinking about what I want to do to you."

That made Emily let go of the last of her disappointment and take Naomi's face in her hands. First she ran the tip of her nose along Naomi's and then gently brushed their lips against each other. Naomi reacted by putting her hands around the other girl's neck and pulling her even closer as the kisses they shared got more and more heated.

"Wait, something's wet." Emily stopped abruptly.

"Happy to hear I got that effect on you."

"Damn, your nose is bleeding." Emily sounded panicked. "Here, have a tissue. And lean your head back."

"Must be from earlier when I banged it so cleverly against your head. And leaning you head back actually doesn't help at all."

"Stop being a smartarse and let me make sure you don't bleed out." She was now in full care mode and nothing would stop her, especially not a stubborn patient. "Christ, luckily we're almost on the ground again. I need to get you to the hospital."

"Fuck, Emily, it's just a nosebleed. It'll be over before you can even find a cab."

"Ok, I'll let you get away with it under one condition: If you feel dizzy or weird you promise to tell me asap."

"Deal." Naomi smiled, pressing the tissue against her nostrils. "There goes my chance at scoring a quickie on the bid wheel."

"Christ." Emily snorted. "Who in their right mind could possibly be that desperate?" She shook her head in disbelief noting the sheepish look on the other girl's face. "Oh no! Seriously, what haven't you done?"

As Naomi left for the loo to clean herself up properly, Emily joined Effy by the bar.

"Ay, y'are much more fun when y'are properly beveraged, Katiekins!" Cook came stumbling towards the wheel with the twin in tow. "Lemme take ya for a ride."

The two barely managed to enter the carriage without tripping over, with Katie unceremoniously landing in Cook's lap.

"Ya can stay there. It's a good place." He half-joked with a cheesy grin. To his surprise, she did just that and quickly unbuttoned his pants with deft fingers.

The wheel operator didn't know what hit him as he heard distinctly yelled demands of "Grab my balls! Grab my balls!" and then found Cook with his pants down and Katie just wiping her mouth after a finished job. He didn't find it in his heart to really be mad at them. After all, he too had been young once. But this was a family attraction.

"I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the premises immediately or I'll have to ask the police." He tried hard to hide his amusement at watching Cook struggle to button his pants as he stumbled away from the wheel. "And by the way, mister, your cock should not be that colour!"

* * *

**At the snack bar**

"I'm gonna have one of everything, please!" Pandora announced to the vendor at the snack bar. They offered a wide variety of sweets like candy apples, chocolate-covered fruits, gingerbread hearts and savoury food such as bratwurst, chips, grilled champignons and even onion tart.

"Isn't she gonna throw up if she stuffs her face with all of that?" Naomi asked Effy as they stood by the bar nearby, each nursing a big, steaming cup of mulled wine with a generous lacing of rum. Knowing that she wouldn't be getting an answer – at least not the verbal kind – Naomi let her gaze wander taking in the exuberance of goods on offer.

"Why do these stupid gingerbread hearts always have cheesy inscriptions?" She complained to Effy. "I don't even wanna know how many drunks bought their prospective one night stands one that says _I love you_ or _My princess_ or whatever kind of bollocks." Naomi shook her head in frustration.

"Like, suppose I was cheesy enough to buy one of those for Emily, there's none that fits. Not even remotely."

Effy went up to the cashier, handed him a note and pointed at Naomi. He announced that he'd have her order ready within ten minutes.

"What the fuck, Eff?" Naomi asked. "You think I'm gonna pay for some kind of bullshit you ordered supposedly in my name?" Effy's raised eyebrows were challenging enough for Naomi to know she would do exactly that. "You know you can really get on people's nerves." She sighed exasperatedly. "Why the fuck does everyone trust you?"

She spent the next minutes grumbling but also secretly curious what was up with Effy's order.

When he finally called her back to the counter, she had downed another mug of mulled wine and felt a very pleasant buzz accompanying the warmth of the beverage.

He handed her a humongous, heart shaped object in non-transparent foil so she couldn't see what the inscription said.

When Naomi made to peel of the wrap to take a look, Effy's hand stopped her and she shook her head.

"Woman, you're gonna drive me nuts! Isn't it bad enough that you made me get a heart bigger than my fucking face? Ever heard of less is more?" She quickly hid the heart under her coat where it barely fit without making a treacherous bulk.

"Let's go take a ride on the wheel, yeah?"

A few minutes later, Cook and Katie arrived at the bar.

"Oi mate, two cups for me and my lady, got it?" He yelled at the barman at an unnecessary volume.

"I'm not your lady." Katie protested but smiled at the comment nevertheless. A fact that didn't escape Cook's notice.

"Does that mean I don't have to buy ya one of those princess hearts to get ya in me bed tonight?" He wiggled his eyebrows and gave her the classic Cookie grin she would never admit to actually liking.

"That shit's for losers!" Katie scrunched up her eyebrows in disgust and took a huge, warming swig out of her cup. "You make sure I don't go without a drink and we'll see if you get lucky."

Cook did not need telling twice and made a mental note that he would replace Katie's cup the second it was empty.

After two refills, the two left on wobbly legs, yet determined to reach the Ferris wheel.

When Emily arrived, she looked pale and only managed to nod at Effy in greeting as she wondered whether it was save to let Naomi go to the loo on her own after what just happened.

The smell and look of all the delicious food at the stand made her calm her nerves with a pack of roasted almonds and a skewer with chocolate covered strawberries.

She ate mostly in silence, only uttering a few joyful moans at the taste of the sweets and offered her snacks to Effy who declined with a headshake but then proceeded to steal almonds from her.

"You know I'm probably just really fucking stupid." She said to Effy out of the blue. "But I can't help but wish for something. Doesn't have to be much, you know?" Effy smirked as she noticed how Emily's eyes were glued to the gingerbread hearts with their lovey-dovey inscriptions. They were terribly cheesy, but then, Emily was a sucker for that.

"Ya don't mind if I help myself, do ya? Worked up quite an appetite." She must have gotten lost in her head for a bit because she couldn't for the life of her remember when and where Cook – who was currently stole her last almonds – and her sister had appeared from.

"I'll go over to the arcade. Got a bet to win and me prize to collect." He rubbed his hands together confident of his victory.

"Actually, I'll come with you a bit and look for Naomi!" Emily said. Now that she wasn't busy eating anymore she could no longer keep herself from worrying.

"Looks like it's just you and me, then." Katie stated the obvious when she was alone with Effy, her lisp more pronounced thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol in her system.

"What is your history with Cook exactly?" She asked Effy seemingly out of nowhere. The other girl just shrugged.

"Oh, that's right. You don't talk. Just let me clear that up: You can have him. Or we can share. Frankly, I don't care. But I won't entertain him when he's pining after you or whatever. Emily might not have gotten the memo, but we Fitches are nobody's second choice."

Effy raised her cup and clinked it against Katie's, who had now chosen a hot chocolate to keep her warm without getting her further drunk.

"You're damn right. Cheers to that."

"Yo big man, get me a nice, big bratwurst for my girl here!" Cook came back with Panda, too intoxicated to even notice Katie or Effy.

"Ya sure this is the only sausage I can give ya tonight?" he added with a grin as he handed Panda the food.

"I don't live far from here, so we could find that out with a round of twister."

The grin on his face got impossibly bigger as he left with her.

"They all come to the Cookie monster in the end."

* * *

**At the arcade**

"I'm telling ya, Pandapops, ya pretty much lost the bet already. I'm a master at the grabber machines." Cook announced as they arrived at the arcade part of the Winter Wonderland. Aside from the grabbers he planned to tackle there were one-armed bandits and other types of slot machines but also more interactive stands where you could either throw rings around targets or fish a rubber duck out of a small pool to get the prize belonging to the number on its bottom.

"I'll go play with the duckies!" Panda was carrying an impressive pile of food over to the stand and continued stuffing it in her mouth alternating dishes with each bite. "see if I can get one like those on your tie."

"Ya had to mention it, right?" Cook grinned at her before he got into the zone and focussed on the grabber. But it wasn't a plush toy he was after. In between all the teddy bears, he had spied a clear box containing a watch that looked like he'd be able to sell it for a pretty penny.

In the meantime, Pandora passed the time watching the rubber ducks go round and round as she ate greedily, only occasionally bothering to pull one out with the little magnetic fishing rod to check its number.

She ended up with a few coin tokens she threw in the bucket she had gotten before she began to play. "This sucks. I'll go on the wheel for a bit!" She yelled over at Cook.

Not that he noticed her over the sound of his game. It only took him a few more tries until he finals secured the case with the watch and he decided to take a break from playing, popping the case into the baggy pockets of his pants and left to find Katie. Who knows? Maybe he'd be able to secure two shags tonight.

Panda was lucky that she hadn't gotten any vomit on her clothes. She pushed Effy to get back to the arcade to continue playing.

"Eff, you gotta help me out. I really wanna win against Cook but the duckies don't like me."

Effy grabbed her by the upper arm and dragged her over closer to where Cook was still completely absorbed in his grabber game. He had lost a bunch of tokens but it was so close sometimes he didn't even think about giving up.

"No way, Eff! I'm not playing with the slot machines!" Panda would rather keep watching the duckies and lose. Slot machines just weren't her thing.

But Effy didn't react to her resistance. She put her hand on her friend's arm motioning for her to wait a bit as she spent a few minutes watching the coin pushers. Panda had zoned out in the meantime as she realized she still felt a bit weird in her stomach when suddenly Effy remover her hand and pointed to one of the machines.

"Ok, just this once, Eff. I'll try it cause you're my bestest friend in the world and you wouldn't give me bad advice, right?" Her friend nodded.

A dozen coins later, always throwing them into the slots Effy pointed out, she got impatient.

"You keep looking at me like it only needs one more but then it doesn't work. Why doesn't it work, Eff? I think I'll go back to the duckies. They are nicer."

Before her friend had left, Effy took a single coin from her bucket and pushed it into the machine.

"Great Eff! One more coin down the dumpster!"

Click clack click clack.

"Whizza! It worked!" The frustration from a moment ago was completely gone from Panda's voice and had been replaced by spontaneous and loud – very loud – euphoria as the coins came falling out of the machine.

After the sound had finally stopped she looked up to her friend who raised her fist, thumb and pinky finger extended, to a drinking motion.

"But you gotta help me pick a prize!" It was hopeless as Effy had already vanished in the masses. "Damn, Eff, why do you always disapparate like that?"

Her rescue came in the form of a slightly pale-looking Naomi who had just come back from freshening up at the loo and was now grinning to herself smugly as she relived the memory of her Ferris wheel make out session with Emily.

"Hey Panda! You alright there? You look a bit lost?" It wasn't normally her nature to be this cheery and sociable but these days sometimes she found she simply couldn't help herself.

"I can't decide what to get with all these toys! I mean, does a big teddy bear count more than a mini golf set?"

"Woah, that's a whole lot of coins you got there. We should be able to get you more than a teddy with that. Let me have a look." She scanned the billboard for a minute. "Holy fucking hell." She exclaimed after a bit. "We can get you a fucking curve tv with what you got there."

"Does that mean I won?"

"You did. Unless Cook miraculously pulled a car out of the grabbers but I doubt that."

"Did I hear ya mention my name?" Cook came stumbling over, Katie by his side and closely followed by Emily and Effy. "Pandapops, I got bad and good news for you." He pulled the watch out of his pocket and waved it in front of the girl's face. "Looks like Cookie won."

"Looks like cheap plastic." Katie grabbed the case from him and inspected it closer. "Yeah, such a bad fake. No way that's worth more than a tenner." She scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"And Panda here just secured herself a curve tv. You're going down, mate!" Naomi added.

"At least I'm not being stared at by my psycho one night stand from last weekend." Cook pointed somewhere behind Naomi.

"Yeah, nice try for a distraction." Naomi laughed but the words died in her mouth as she looked over her shoulder and was indeed confronted with a vaguely familiar face, contorted in anger to top it all off. "Holy fuck, it's the bunny boiler."

"Who's the bunny boiler?" Emily, who had sneaked her hand into Naomi's upon arrival, asked.

"A fookin' nut job is what she is. Oh Naomikins, I'd hate to be in ya place right now." Her best friend was enjoying seeing her in potential peril a bit too much for Naomi's liking.

"First you tell me to lay off the PDA after making love to me all night and then you make out with her like nobody's business!" The girl looked furious and ready to tackle Naomi.

Emily watched as Naomi's ex one night stand build up speed and raise her arm ready to throw a punch as she came crashing through the people standing around them.

But just before the girl could land her punch, Emily pulled Naomi behind her by the upper arms and

he girl landed unceremoniously on Emily's chest and made herself the target of a well-placed right hook. James Fitch could testify how much those could hurt.

"Listen, crazy." Emily gnarled through gritted teeth as she held her immobile for a moment. "Get your lunatic arse away from us before I show you there's more where that punch came from.

The girl didn't need telling twice and quickly fled the scene, waiting until she was at a safe distance to yell "Who the fuck are you anyway?" in Emily's direction.

"She's the one I fuck more than once! Unlike you, psycho bitch!" Naomi yelled back.

It took her a few moments to catch her breath before she remembered how weird the impact had felt when Emily had been pushed back against her chest as the bunny boiler had tackled her. "Fuck, my heart."

"You ok there?" Emily's big, concerned eyes made her aware of the unfortunate phrasing.

"Fuck. No. Damn. This was supposed to be different. This is for you."

Naomi opened her coat and unwrapped the gingerbread heart she had bought earlier, still none the wiser as to what was written on it. "Fuck, it's all smudged."

"_Sorry for being an oblivious douchebag" _Emily deciphered the somewhat destroyed but still legible letters. "Thank you!" Her grin was wide and her eyes glistening.

As they left the Winter Wonderland hand in hand, she added:

"I'm glad the bunny boiler didn't break your heart."

* * *

**AN**: How was that? Next chapter (in the usual POV and style) will be up sometime after my stupidly important exam.

Reviews make me write faster. Hint hint. =)


	24. The one that got away

**AN: **Hello you awesome people!

Thanks for all the feedback on last chapter's little POV experiment. Many of you liked it better than what I usually do so I decided to keep it at least for this chapter as it serves well for what I wanted to portray. But there aren't three parallel stories this time. Just one in chronological order.

Some people didn't like the bunny boiler part and I get that. But it was necessary as a reminder that Naomily are not exclusive (while adhering to the rules Emily asked for). So while I get that not everybody likes it, for now that's the way things are. But fear not, Emily is not a doormat anymore and we'll see where that leads.

I can't believe this little idea that kept me up one night has over 250 reviews and close to a hundred followers now. You guys are the best! Seriously, thank you so much!

Another huge thanks to Fitcherella who continues to invest precious time into helping me out. She did a lot of that in this chapter especially.

On this installment of The rules of attraction we have a tiny, little bit of smut, drama, a new character and hurricane Katie.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Skins there would be a new Naomily movie each year. Sorry for any typos. Have fun reading!

* * *

**Thirty-two – The one that got away**

"I gotta have you now." Naomi whispered into Emily's mouth after she had pushed the door shut and lunged at Emily to kiss her fiercely as she shrugged off her jacket and proceeded to unbutton the other girl's coat.

Unsurprisingly, Emily didn't resist and allowed Naomi to throw her down on her bed, then land on top of her. They got rid of their clothing in a frenzy and soon Naomi found herself staring down at Emily.

She kissed her way down Emily's neck, ran her tongue between her breasts and dipped it into her belly button for a second as she hooked her fingers into the waistband of her knickers and pulled them down.

"You're beautiful." She smiled up at Emily and gently lifter her legs to position them over her shoulders before she placed a gentle kiss on her centre. She took her sweet time teasing and kissing her thighs, no need to rush now. Normally, her shags were quick, often not even bothering with the full removal of all items of clothing. Though, unlike Cook, she wasn't much of an alley-fuck kinda person anymore, Naomi preferred her sexual encounters to be quick, efficient. Get the job done and get out of her life. But not with Emily. Whether that was a good thing or a bad, she was not sure. Possibly both.

As her hands started kneading Emily's breasts - how she loved feeling her nipples hardening against her palms - her tongue worked its magic on Emily.

Everything felt perfect. Until it didn't. Naomi had studied Emily well enough to know what to expect, to interpret every tremble, every twitch of her body. She felt Emily get close. Just a few more strokes of her expert tongue.

But then it felt like someone had turned off the power, the moment was gone but Naomi kept going... As she entered Emily with two straight fingers she soon felt her muscles clench around them.

But again, the tension was lost. Naomi wasn't used to this. And she knew Emily well enough to notice something wasn't quite right. She sighed aloud.

Naomi allowed her a few moments to just lie there with her eyes closed and some soothing strokes of her tongue, then kissed her way back up her body raising goosebumps in her wake.

"What's wrong?" Emily complained groaning in frustration.

"Nothing." Naomi spoke against her hair in a gentle whisper and kissed the top of her head.

"But it's obviously an issue when you just stop in the middle of something so brilliant."

"We should stop."

"No, don't! I'll try concentrating."

"It's not fun if you have to try. Let's just leave it."

There was an awkward pause. Naomi took Emily into her arms and kissed her shoulder gently.

"I'm sorry." Emily said quietly.

"It's ok. It happens."

"Has it ever happened to you?"

"Not really. What about you?"

"Well, I haven't been with that many women…"

They lay side by side for a bit, not exchanging so many words but each caressing the others body just because they could.

Emily was just casually running the tip of her index finger along the curve of Naomi's shoulder down her upper arm when she suddenly broke the silence, somewhat startling the other woman.

"How many girls have you slept with?" She finally found the guts to address what had been weighing on her mind.

"I don't know. A lot?" Naomi shrugged at her own non-answer.

"Well, that's a non-answer if I ever heard one." Emily dead-panned seemingly nonchalant.

"Do you think I keep tally in a book with their photos or something?" Naomi snapped.

"Ok, then how many people have you slept with since we started… you know…"

"Doing it?" Naomi chuckled. "Christ, Emily…"

"What?"

"Where are you even going with this?" The relaxed mood from only a minute ago was gone.

"Nowhere, really… I just wanted to know."

"But why?" So you can go all jealous girlfriend on me? I've always stuck to the rules, haven't I?" Naomi defended.

"You have." Emily exhaled deeply as she considered what to say next.

"You know what? I think it's time that I head home, shouldn't have stayed that long anyway."

"You're gonna run out on me just because I asked you a perfectly innocent question?"

Naomi had already gotten up and was currently trying to find her knickers in Emily's bedroom with their clothes lying haphazardly strewn around the room.

"Oh fuck it, keep them!" she gave up. quickly buttoned her jeans and added "I'm not running out on you. I'm a free person, you know? And leaving. And we both know that question was about as innocent as Cook's browser history."

Bang.

The door was shut with Naomi gone and Emily alone in her bed feeling more naked than ever.

Emily did not leave the house the next day. Or the day after that. In fact, she called in to say she'd work from home and hence managed to stay in for an entire week.

What finally got her to get dressed and go out was a force of nature. Hurricane Katie.

"What the fuck is that smell?" she announced as she opened the door using the spare key Emily had reluctantly - and now regrettably - handed her. "Did something die in here?"

"Shut up, Katie!" she yelled from her bed. "But now that you're here make yourself useful and fetch me a cup of coffee, will you?" Emily hoped the much-needed caffeine fix would help her feel more like a human-being and less than a walking corpse.

"I'm not your maid, bitch!" her sister answered in an annoyed tone. "But I'll do you a favour even though you don't deserve it!" A favour in disguise, as it turned out.

"What are you even doing here?" Emily felt violated in her spiral of self-pity.

"Effy told me to check on you."

"Since when do Effy and you talk?"

"Well, it's not like she does much of the talking, is it?"

"Then it wasn't her who told you." Emily reasoned, pretending such a thing as texts didn't exist. Her sister was hiding something and she could tell.

"Fine." Katie conceded. "Cook told me."

"Still riding that one, huh?"

"Actually, we decided to just be friends."

"Yeah, sure." Emily huffed.

While they argued, Katie walked through the kitchen, quickly rummaging through cupboards and the fridge and collected the few remnants of food left along with all the tea and coffee she found and flushed the coffe down the toilet before stuffing the rest down the garbage disposal.

Emily was furious, yet too tired to put up a fight. Not liker there was a point with her sister.

Thus, even though she really didn't feel like going out in public at all, she reluctantly put on some clothes - no need to worry about picking out a nice outfit as she felt and surely looked like microwaved shit, her sister's words - and walked to the next supermarket, getting a coffee on the way for her instant fix.

"Emily?" She really didn't feel like interacting with anyone today but a tap on the shoulder was hard to be ignored.

"Oh my god, Sam?" The woman was tall, about a foot taller than Emily, with a jet-black bob wearing an expensive-looking business suit.

"I've been wondering when I would run into you. It's been ages." She smiled at Emily, visibly happy to see her.

"What? Why? Do you live in London now?"

"Yes. Like three blocks from here. Only just moved. Katie told me you don't live far from my flat."

"You kept in touch?" She was incredulous.

"Hardly." Sam laughed heartily. "I ran into her a couple months ago back in Bristol."

"Oh, I see. What brings you to London?"

"I wanted a fresh start. After my relationship fell apart everything seemed to remind me of him. So when I got offered a job here, I took it."

"Sorry to hear about that." Despite not having an actual relationship, Emily could emphasize with Sam on that pain.

"It's ok. It was mutual, turns out even though we spent five years together he wasn't really what I was looking for in a partner." She shrugged and genuinely seemed to be over the breakup.

"Wow, sounds like I missed a lot."

"Why don't we rectify that?" Sam was quick to take the chance. "Have coffee with me? How about tomorrow at three?"

"I'm free."

"Great. Is your number still the same?"

Emily nodded.

"Good, I'll text you the place." Sam hugged a somewhat dumbfounded Emily goodbye and walked away.

It took her a few moments to realise it was kind of unusual to keep an unused phone number for so many years. Sure, they had been close once, but that was then.

The next day, Emily didn't feel too much better but was thankful for the distraction of meeting Sam. Naomi hadn't called and Emily was beginning to get worried she never would. But she swore to herself she wouldn't be the one to call first.

She was early, so she waited in front of the café fumbling around with her phone nervously.

"And here I thought I was early." Sam piped up as she appeared in front of Emily, seemingly out of thin air. Before she could say anything, Emily found herself in a tight hug once again.

They went inside and found a cozy corner in the café.

"It was good running into you after all this time." Sam attempted to break the ice.

"Yeah, weird coincidence, isn't it? Two girls from Roundview crossing paths in London? So tell me, what have you been up to?" One perk of making Sam talk about herself was that Emily wouldn't have to speak and hopefully also not think of her own situation.

"Oh, nothing much, pretty much just work and enjoying the single city life."

"So you're dating?"

"Yeah." She looked down into her cup. "I didn't realise it at the time but I missed out on a lot when I was with Rick."

A cup of coffee turned into three as they talked about old times and what they had been up to in the years they hadn't seen each other and before they knew it their waitress came up to them telling them the café was closing now and asking them to leave.

"You wanna go for a drink?" Sam asked as they went out into the rain.

"I thought we just did." Emily smiled.

"I meant like a pint." Sam winked.

Seeing that she didn't have any better plans but to sit around at home and sulk, Emily was quick to agree.

Emily hadn't eaten anything proper in days, so she ordered chips at the bar and made sure to eat at least a handful before she started on her lager. Being with Sam again after all those years felt great, like they had never stopped being friends back in college.

"Oi, Emilio! Fancy meetin' ya here!" Cook - of all people - came running towards them excitedly and wrapped her into his arms to pick her up and spin her around. She had tried telling him not to do that several times but to no avail. She did however slap his hand away from her arse as he let her down again, then introduced Sam and Cook to each other.

"How are you?" she asked him.

"Aww, ya know me, always fine and dandy." He grinned and popped his suspenders against his chest. "Just one thing, has Blondie been all grumpy with ya too or do ya think she noticed I permanently borrowed a tenner from her purse?"

Emily wished she had been grumpy with her. Anything was better than the silent treatment she had been subjected to for more than a week now.

"Probably the tenner." She said, sounding lost in thought. Cook seemed to be looking at something - or rather someone - behind their booth as his eyes focussed as if trying to pick someone out of a crowd.

"Wait, is that…?" He started.

"Is that who?"

"Nah, never mind." He scratched the back of his head. "It couldn't be. Listen, I'd love to talk to ya lovely tits longer but the Cookie monster's got business to take care of. I'll see ya at the flat, right?"

Cook leaned in as if to give Emily a kiss on the cheek - not his usual move - but then quickly moved his head in the last second so he ended up pecking her lips.

Before Emily could react to that, he was off to god-knows-where doing god-knows-what.

"Don't tell me that was your boyfriend." Sam commented.

"Christ, no!" Emily almost spat out the sip of lager she had just taken.

"Good, I was beginning to feel disappointed."

"Disappointed because in that case me telling you I liked girls in college only for you to get all weird and our friendship to end wouldn't be true, then?"

"Fuck." Sam seemed thoughtful all of a sudden. "I didn't mean to get weird."

"It's ok. Sorry for the remark. Maybe I've had one too many. I should probably go now." Emily made to get up and leave the rest of her pint on the table.

"Please don't." Sam put her hand on her arm. "At least finish your drink."

Emily ended up staying for three more glasses. She had to admit that she enjoyed talking to Sam and would've regretted leaving because of a silly remark. The thing is, Sam had been her first, the first person she ever came out to. And the last one for a long time. Her best friend's reaction had hurt her so badly she didn't even dare to think of confiding in Katie or anyone else.

When they finally decided to call it a night - with a bit of encouragement from the barkeep wanting to end their shift - they stumbled towards Emily's flat as Sam had insisted on walking her home.

As they hugged goodbye, Sam suddenly moved her head and placed a long, lingering kiss on her cheek before looking into her eyes as she spoke in a soft voice:

"You know, I'm sorry I got weird but it's not for the reason you think. Seeing you now has only made it more clear. Emily, for me you'll always be the one that got away."

Emily was too surprised to react and a second later she felt Sam's lips slowly but surely move closer to hers as if in slow-motion.

The beer had severely impaired the speed of her reaction so she only pulled away in the last second, saving them both from what would surely have been a drunken mistake.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Cook found Naomi on the couch reading a book.

"How's the business?" she asked him, putting the book to the side and beckoning him to sit down with her.

"Can't complain." He shrugged. "Just one thing…"

"Spit it out? Can't afford the rent this month and need me to help you out? Or do you wanna return the tenner you nicked from me last week?"

"Nah, that ain't it."

"What is it, then?"

"You're clever, aren't ya?"

"Yep." Naomi popped the p with a smug smile.

"What's called when ya see things that aren't there?"

"Hallucinations."

"Is that serious?"

"Could be. Why?"

"It's Freddie."

"Christ, what happened now?"

"I… forget it… I must be going mental."

"That much has been firmly established."

"The thing is… I keep seeing him."

"Seeing him where? On your breakfast toast? In London?"

"Yeah, like around town, on the tube… or even earlier when I ran into Emilio and her date."

"Wow. Has Carl been passing you pills again? There's no way McClair's in London." She shook her head, then paused. "Wait, what did you say? You ran into Emily?"

"Yup. With that fit bird Sam. Ya know maybe that's why she hasn't been over in a bit."

"We can change that."

Against her own better judgement - the half-empty bottle of vodka playing an important role in her decision making process - Naomi picked up her phone and began typing.

**Wanna come over tonight?**

Emily read it instantly - hoping against hope she had still been staring at her phone waiting for it to buzz. One question was dominant in her mind: Why now?

The text she got a minute later answered it.

**Cook misses you.**

Emily quickly typed out her reply.

**I'm busy tonight. Maybe next week?**

For Naomi, that answered the question of how Emily's date was going.

* * *

**AN: **I hope you guys don't hate Sam too much. She's actually a good girl, I swear.

Whether you liked or loathed it, your opinion matters a lot to me and I'd love to hear/read it. So you know what to do with that little box down there...


	25. Stalkers

**AN: **Hi everyone!

Who are best readers and nicest reviewers? You are!

I'm honoured by the awesome feedback to last chapter. And if I look at some of the names of the reviewers... wow, that's some serious talent there. I owe quite a few of you a read and review. I'll catch up, promise. Been doing some serious adult-ing lately.

Sam seems to be very welcome and I guess it doesn't need a genius to work out what I brought her in for. Still, there may or may not be unexpected twists and turns on the way.

Sorry that this is short but since I switched POVs again (next update will be in third person once more) it made sense to end it where I did.

On the menu today: More Samily (yes, I went there), Nookie with my beloved Cookie monster in his softest marshmallow form (is he a s'more now?) and a side of Effy.

**Disclaimer:** Surprise, I still haven't aquired the rights to any of the bazillion (ok, like three) franchises I borrow (copy) from.

On the upside, I've been told I do well on the hot-crazy scale. Far away from Vicky Mendoza.

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Thirty-three – Stalkers**

**Naomi POV**

Both Cook and I didn't feel like going out that night so instead we stayed in and watched TV.

When I got up the next morning it was far earlier than my usual time so I decided to run some errands. Naturally, it was due to pure coincidence that one of those led me close to Emily's flat and I decided to stop by the bakery and get some coffee and doughnuts to bring her for breakfast. Emily loved having those in the morning.

As I stood at her door about to ring the doorbell, I took a moment to think about what I was gonna say. We hadn't talked in a while after all and the last time we did it had hardly been a pleasant experience.

Saying "Hey Em, remember how I ran out on you last time? Here, have some doughnuts!" simply wouldn't do.

I racked my brain for something better when I heard footsteps inside and Emily's infectious laugh - I could tell it apart from ten thousand others - filling up the hall. I panicked. And I don't make the best decisions when I panic. So instead of waiting for her to arrive at the door I dove head first into the hedge besides the entrance and hid as best I could crouching in the thorny bushes.

The sound of heels on the staircase told me how far away Emily was. Then again, despite being too short to be allowed on most rollercoasters Emily rarely ever wore high heels. This could only mean…

Before I could finish my thoughts the door opened and Emily came walking - no, stumbling - through it. But she wasn't alone.

The woman who currently had her arms around her waist was tall - the heels further her height - with long, black hair and a nice bum. I only saw their backsides as they slowly walked away. Luckily, they didn't waste any time looking around. Too engrossed with each other, I'd say.

Looks like Emily already had breakfast plans this morning. Once Emily and her date were safely out of sight I mounted my motorcycle and left, the paper bag and cups forgotten by the door.

Fuck this shit.

It's not like I didn't have more important things to do than bring her breakfast, so I pushed all thoughts of Emily out of my mind - or at least I tried - and drove to the office. It always worked well for me to simply engross myself in work.

It was Thursday the next week and I still hadn't heard from Emily. The question is, why am I thinking of her?

Because I'm hopelessly smitten? Nope.

Because Cook greeted me with a bottle of my favourite vodka when I came home and we're well on our way to being completely trashed now?

Ding ding ding, we got a winner!

"Ya know what, Naomikins?" Cook started. "We've been gettin' lazy lately and that's a violation of rule number six."

"Let me guess, you got a master plan to rectify that situation!?"

"Yup. You and I and a good night out. Tomorrow."

"Well, if we must." I shrugged in fake disinterest and grinned at him. I was looking forward to a good, old night of clubbing. It'll keep my mind off…

"Do ya want me to invite Emilio or will you do it?" So much for that.

So there I was - sufficiently tipsy to think the idea wasn't completely idiotic - typing out a text to Emily.

**Wanna come clubbing with the Cookie monster and me tomorrow? Warm up drinks at our place.**

Her response came a few minutes later.

**I already made dinner plans. Mind if I join you at the club? **

**Let me guess, Katie?**

**No. Just a friend from school. **

Just a friend, my arse. I took another sip from my glass and soon fell asleep on the couch.

I felt Cook's arms on my back and under my thighs as he lifted me up but was too tired - and frankly too touched by this loving gesture - to stop him from carrying me to my room.

He kissed my forehead after gently lowering me onto the bed and whispered "Ya know, they say dolphins have bromances, too. They help each other get laid. Ya're the best dolphin bro ever." As he slowly exited the room and closed the door careful not to wake me from my fake slumber.

"Let's go fookin' mental!" Cook bellowed before clinking his shot glass to mine ceremoniously and downing the tequila. Fucking tequila.

"Speaking of mental, do you think Effy will come, too?"

"How'd I know?" Cook shrugged. "She's hot ya know but fookin' loony as well."

"Dangerously close to crossing the Vicky Mendoza diagonal despite her looks." I nodded before downing my shot.

"Yup. Better keep my hands off that nutter."

"Wow, didn't think I'd live to see the day you actually respect the wisdom of the hot-crazy-scale."

"Well, ya know, it's fun and all when they go completely nuts but sometimes I feel like I'm getting too old for this sh-"

"Stuff." I interrupted. "I feel you, Cookie. Now can you please stop being so reasonable? It's irritating." I refilled my glass and emptied it to emphasise my point. "Plus, I'm dying to get smashed tonight."

By the time we arrived at the club we could barely walk straight. Good thing the place was so packed that there wasn't much opportunity to walk anyway. We shoved our way through the crowd and got more drinks - not that we weren't already sufficiently bladdered.

It was both a good and bad thing when we went to pick up girls in a crowd. On the one hand there were plenty of women to pick from - no pity fucks necessary. The disadvantage was that it was hard to decide. Just when you focus on one target you might see something better. Much like the dilemma from two years ago when Cook had magically acquired a phone that wouldn't stop ringing with easy prey begging to get a piece of the Cookie monster. The poor bloke spent more time in taxis than in beds as a result of his indecision.

Cook and I found a good spot near the bar and watched the crowd a bit scanning it for potential shags.

"I bet ya anything that one over there likes it rough." Cook whisper-yelled into my ear over the blasting from the speakers. The girl in question seemed to have noticed us talking about her, smirked in our direction and left in the direction of the loos. There was no way to tell for sure where she was headed but I decided to take my chances. No time like the present.

"I'll find out." I said to Cook with my gaze fixated on where the subject of our conversation had just vanished in the crowd.

It was hard to keep track of the stranger, so I simply stumbled through the crowd towards the loos. I arrived just in time to see her enter one of the stalls throwing a mischievous grin my way. Bingo.

"Naomi?" a tap on my shoulder. "Christ, I've been looking for you for ages." Emily hugged me hello and kissed my cheek.

"What are you doing here?" Well duh, Naomi. And you're supposed to be one of the smart kids.

"I'm waiting for Effy."

"Did you bring your friend too?" I tried to keep a neutral expression. "You know, the one you had dinner with."

"Oh, you mean Sam. No, she went home." Bet she would have loved to take you with her.

"Was it a date?" I blurted out. Blame my drunk brain's lack of filter.

"So what if it was?" Emily raised her eyebrows in challenge.

"Did you fuck?" Right down to the nitty-gritty. Yep, I was positively wasted. Realising the embarrassment of my bluntness, I pressed my eyelids closed as if that would magically undo the last ten seconds.

"So what if we did?" Emily shrugged in a nonchalant way that was so un-Emily-like. "Not like it's against the rules, is it?"

"I need a drink!" I exclaimed stumbling back towards the bar not turning around to look if she was following, the stranger in the cubicle momentarily forgotten.

Cook awaited me at the bar but instead of handing me a glass and demanding details on my conquest he sat still in his stool with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Earth to Cookie monster." I waved my hand in front of his eyes.

The next words out of his mouth gave me pause.

"I saw him again."

"Saw who again?" Emily appeared next to us, Effy in tow.

"Noone." My best mate covered up badly. "I'm just a little drunk."

The look in Emily's eyes told me she wasn't fooled - and if she wasn't, neither was Effy - but I gave her a sharp glance warning her not to ask further questions.

"There he is!" Cook alerted me with his elbow on mine.

This time, we all looked. If Cook is going mental, then so am I. And judging by the quiet "oh" from the girls' direction at least one of them was joining us.

It really was him. Freddie Mc fucking Clair. Standing no more than ten feet from us sipping on his beer.

"Wanker!" Effy spoke up. Wait, Effy spoke? What the fuck?

"WANKER!" She repeated loudly and walked over to him.

"WANKER! WANKER! WANKER!" She started beating his upper arms and by the look on McClair's face Effy packed quote a punch.

He first tried to push her away, then hug her close to his chest in order to stop her attack.

"Don't you dare hug me!"

Emily was the first of us three to wake from her stupor and went over to break them up. She hugged Effy to her chest while removing his arms from her shoulders.

"Get the fuck away from my friend!" She spat. Remind me to never anger her.

Fuck, you should've reminded me of that two weeks ago.

Now as much as I'd like to say he was simply a coward but I would've looked just as taken aback as he did when faced with a fierce Fitch like that.

"Didn't ya hear her?" Cook finally spoke up. "Leave this place if ya know what's good for ya."

And Freddie did. With his tail between his legs.

"I'll take ya home if that's ok." Cook said to Effy.

"Yes." Effy nodded.

"These two need to talk." I commented, looking after the two of them leaving.

"I think we need to talk as well." Emily played with her straw nervously.

"We do." I nodded. "But I'm too drunk now. Plus, there may or may not be a potential hook-up still waiting for me by the loos."

A low blow, for sure. The truth was, I didn't wanna think about what Freddie was doing in London and how that might affect Cook. I also didn't wanna think about Emily and Sam. What the fuck kind of name is Sam anyway?

I emptied my glass, shook the thoughts from my head and walked over towards the loos.

* * *

**AN: **You know what I'll ask you to do now, don't you?

So, there's this little box and it feeds on your thoughts and feelings about this. Then it sits down on a scale and powers my urge to write.


	26. Green-eyed and other monsters

**AN: **An update after one week? And regular length again?

Yes, it is. I had some reviews asking for more soon, so I tried to make it happen. I'm not gonna bore you with a long speech, just: THANK YOU for all kinds of feedback.

A short quote regarding this chapter from the person responsible for this fic: "As your reader I hate you. As Fitcherella I fucking think it's brilliant."

Well, calling it brilliant is exaggerating for sure, but I hope you'll like this. It might be a bit rushed in some parts but that's how I roll...

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Skins Cook would get more screentime.

* * *

**Thirty-four – Green-eyed and other monsters**

About halfway to the loos, Naomi got sick of pushing her way through the crowd and turned around. She felt a slight headache coming on - surely the tequila was to thank for that - and decided to call it a night. It wasn't worth the hassle.

In the alley outside the club, looking for a taxi, she heard someone call after her. An unfamiliar voice.

"Hey, wait!"

She didn't have the nerve for this. Not now. Not with her head full of images of Emily with someone else, with Sam for fuck's sake. Not that she had any rational reason to dislike Sam in particular. She just did.

At least in her search for a cab Naomi was lucky as one drove down the street just that moment and she waved for it to stop. She got in quickly in hopes that the girl would think she hadn't heard her. Or at least take the hint.

No such luck though. The stranger opened the car door she had just thrown shut in a rush and sat down next to her uninvited thereby forcing Naomi to slide over in her seat.

It took five minutes and some harsh words from Naomi to get the overly eager girl to leave her be.

But that's not what Emily witnessed from her spot by the club's entrance where she went to get some air. She had walked away after seeing the stranger enter the taxi after Naomi, putting two and two together.

From the cab, relieved to finally be rid of her suitor, Naomi sent a text to Cook.

**Are you ok?**

**Annie, are ya ok? =D **was her best mate's immediate response followed quickly by **Don't ya worry ya Blondie head, just finished shagging. **

**No way, she's not that mental. **

**Ok, so Cookie was a good boy and only made her tea. But don't tell Emily, yeah?**

The chance of Naomi telling Emily anything anytime soon was slim enough.

**Your stud rep is safe with me.**

Across town, Cook had indeed made Effy a tea. She seemed calm but it wasn't hard to tell her exterior masked a storm on the inside. He came back to her bedroom, cup in hand only to find her gone from the bed, sitting on the floor of the half-empty closet instead with her chin resting on her knees that she hugged to her chest.

"Ah, screw bein' a good boy." Cook commented to himself before gently knocking on the open closet door. He felt like Effy needed something other than the gentle care he has provided so far. At the very least, it was worth a try.

"Hey." He tried.

"Hey."

"Is this the cupboard for mindless sex?" He asked, his trademark grin directed at her.

She chuckled at that. It was the first time Cook had ever heard Effy chuckle.

"You don't give a fuck about anything, do you?"

Carefully, he first set one foot into the closet, then the other so he was facing her. He crouched down and hoisted her up by her thighs as she held onto his neck.

He took her then and there, not even bothering with any prelude, thereby allowing der haunted mind a few moments of blissful distraction. He held her as she came, her head cradled in his hand making her look small, then carried her to her bed and left once her breathing evened out signalling she could finally sleep.

When Naomi woke up the next morning, her head was throbbing. Distrusting her foggy memory, she quickly turned around in her bed to check for any conquests of the night past. Nothing. But what if they were just taking a shower?

Naomi quickly smelled her hand. Nope, nothing. At least she wouldn't have to deal with any overly-attached shags today.

Coffee, she needed coffee. And a greasy breakfast. Either Cook wasn't home yet or he was still asleep. One way or the other, she had to cook for herself and thus she reluctantly turned on the stove.

She was popping a smaller piece of bacon into her mouth straight from the pan when the door opened but the "Honey, I'm home." She expected didn't follow.

"Hmm, this smells yummy." Emily rubbed her belly. "Did you make enough for an unexpected guest?"

"Wha-" Naomi was dumfounded. "What are you doing here? How'd you even get in?"

"You gave me a key about two weeks into knowing me, remember?" Emily waved her keychain in front of her eyes. "How very gay of you."

She was answered with silence and Naomi gulping down air like a fish.

"And we need to talk."

"Christ, Emily." Naomi found her voice again. "Now's hardly a good time."

"I figured as much. You probably still have last night's satisfied customer in your bed, don't you?" She tried to feign nonchalance. "So, how about dinner tomorrow night?"

"Sure, come over and I'll order takeout." Naomi was trying to be nice despite her hangover, feeling she had been too harsh with the other girl the night before.

"Erm, takeout isn't what I had in mind. Can't we just sit down in a nice restaurant and work this out?" Emily fumbled with the clasp of her purse.

"And afterwards I bring you home to your parents who left the porch lights on? Who do you think I am, Emily? Your college date?"

"I just thought it'd be nice."

"Nice my arse. Is this the kind of stuff you get up to with Sam? You go out on nice, little dates?" Naomi's voice was dripping with malice, all thoughts of at least trying to play nice forgotten.

"You should really watch how hung up you are on the idea of me and Sam. With that little stalker stunt you pulled people might start to think you're jealous."

"Pfff. As if." Naomi rejected the sheer notion of her being jealous, then it dawned on her that there was more crucial info in Emily's complaint. "What do you mean, stalker stunt?" She back-pedalled a bit, suspiciously careful to sound clueless.

"Do you really think I don't recognize your fucking bike when it's parked at my door?" Emily threw open the apartment door, fed up with Naomi's antics. "Christ, you're such a thick-headed idiot."

Naomi could've pointed out that calling an idiot thick-headed was redundant but she would've done so to an empty room since Emily had already left furiously.

With all the arguing they had done lately, one bitter truth was now evident to both women: Whatever brief romance they had shared was over and so was their friendship, at least for now.

Almost a week had passed since that fateful night at the club.

Being Naomi, she tried not to let it show how much she actually missed Emily. And Cook pretended not to notice. What was he to do about it anyway?

It was a rainy Thursday and Naomi was at home trying to paint. She'd felt blocked for months now, unable to fabricate anything worth looking at in her own opinion. Cook was out doing whatever dubious things Cook did to make a living and Naomi didn't care for the details - what with becoming an accessory and all - as long as her best mate came home with his bones unbroken. He'd gotten better at that after some very unpleasant experiences with turf wars.

There was a knock on the door and for a brief second Naomi found herself hoping it'd be Emily who had come to tell her she missed her and that they should go back to the way they were. Then she remembered that Emily a) had a key and b) wouldn't give in that easily after how she had behaved. Who could blame her?

When she finally snapped out of her thoughts and opened a door it was Effy standing there with a facial expression that said what her lips didn't have to: About fucking time.

"Cook is just out. You might wanna come back later." Knowing that even now - with her temporary muteness overcome - Effy wasn't one for small talk, Naomi began to close the door again but Effy's hand against the door stopped her in her tracks.

"I'm here to talk to you." She simply stated before walking through to the living room and sitting down on the couch.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Naomi asked, still standing up as she felt somewhat invaded by the unsolicited visit.

"Why thanks, yes I'd like some tea, please." Effy mimicked in a pseudo-posh voice almost making Naomi crack up and noting that she seemed much happier than usual. "You know why I'm here." She stated with a sharp look at Naomi who sat down across from her, two cups in hand.

"Emily." Naomi commented slowly.

"Yes and no."

"Well, which is it?"

"You wanna be her girlfriend."

"No way!" Naomi almost spilled her tea. "I don't wanna be anybody's girlfriend!"

"Emily's not anyone."

"Still, I don't wanna be her girlfriend."

Effy answered here with a pointed look. "Truth."

"I don't wanna be her girlfriend." The fight seemed to be knocked out of her. "I just wanna be with her all the time." She closed her eyes as if to pretend she hadn't just admitted that. And to Effy of all people. Effy, who probably knows anyway.

Out of nowhere - she didn't have a bag or anything with her - Effy made a bottle of vodka appear and put it on the table leaving it to Naomi to figure out the purpose of it.

It was ice-cold. Just what she needed now.

They proceeded to sip from the bottle taking turns, with Naomi much more eager to gulp down lots of the liquid while Effy barely let it touch her lips.

Halfway through, Naomi broke the silence.

"I just wanna be with her all the time." She repeated, picking up where she left off.

"Girlfriend." Effy play-coughed.

"I wanna hear about her day and tell her about mine."

"Girlfriend."

"I wanna… hold her hand and smell her hair."

"Girlfriend."

"But I don't wanna be her stupid girlfriend." She almost spat the last word.

Suddenly, Effy got up and made for the door, leaving Naomi with one last piece of wisdom: "You better get your head out of your arse before it's too late."

Maybe it was the intoxication or her getting fed up with the constant drama - most likely it was both - but as she laid in her bed trying and failing to sleep. Whatever this was with Emily, and no matter how hard she tried to push the thought away, it's something special. Was from the very beginning, really.

All her defences were useless when it came to Emily. This small, persistent girl had somehow gotten in under the wire.

Which begged the question: What was she to do about it?

The situation was still just as fucked as before her little Effy-induced epiphany. And frankly, it was a rather sad excuse for an epiphany; what with all those unanswered questions whirling in her mind, all those hows and what-ifs robbing her sleep.

"Thanks Eff, that really didn't help at all." She scoffed to herself.

The next morning, after only a few hours of sleep she had had another realisation: This was not gonna get better with time. Better to do something now than to drive herself crazy with the same thoughts that had kept her awake the night prior. This wasn't the time to come up with elaborate plots or smart things to say - she didn't even know what to tell Emily as of now.

All Naomi was certain of was that something had changed. She didn't wanna be Emily's girlfriend, no, but she wanted something more than what she was used to, something entirely new to her.

She was too hyped, even without her morning coffee, to drive so she took the tube to Emily's flat instead. Once inside the train, her mind slowed down enough from going a million miles per minute for her to think about what she was gonna say. "Hey, Emily, I know I was a twat but you've grown to like that, right?" wouldn't do. Neither would "You really scare the shit out of me, you know?" It was true though. Should she bring her flowers? No, that was generic and Emily wasn't generic at all. That was part of why she was so scary.

She soon reached the apartment building, still none the wiser on how to approach her. She would have to wing it.

In unpleasant memory of what happened the last time she had lingered at the front door she quickly pushed it open - thankful it wasn't locked so she's be able to wait in front of Emily's door in case she didn't wanna let Naomi in.

Aware that this could get ugly - yet hoping for the best - she braced herself in the elevator. If necessary, Naomi was ready to fight.

She knocked on Emily's door with a shaky fist. Please be at home, please be at home.

She was. Naomi exhaled in relief when she heard her unlock the door.

"Hi!" She tried to smile away her nervousness along with Emily's memory of how their last encounter had ended.

"Oh, hi!" Emily didn't exactly deem displeased at the sight of Naomi but still looked around nervously. As she stepped into the flat, Naomi saw the reason for her irritation:

She was there too. Sam was sitting at the table with what looked like the remnants of a plentiful breakfast selection, the polar opposite of the coffee-and-donut-duo Naomi brought what felt like a lifetime ago.

Her first instinct told Naomi to simply turn around. Only she couldn't. Not after what she had finally, if hesitantly, admitted to herself last night.

Be brave, she told herself, she's worth it.

"Hi, I'm Sam!" the other girl had stood up and greeted Naomi with an outstretched hand.

"Naomi." She answered shaking it weakly, only just remembering that she's not supposed to know who she was talking to.

"Guess I better go." Sam's thoughts seemed to be the same as hers. Leave.

"Oh no. Let me." Naomi found her voice again as she lost her courage. "It's plain to see I'm interrupting something." She waved her arm at the table.

"Actually, we were done." Emily pointed out, making a decision.

"We're still on for dinner tomorrow, right?" Sam asked her as she shouldered her bag.

"Yup. See you then."

Their goodbye seemed to lack passion for the morning-after-scenario Naomi interpreted it to be but then again, maybe they were just trying to be discrete so as not to make her uncomfortable.

Naomi was more than thankful for that as a public display of affection might have made her retch up her non-existent breakfast.

"It's good you came." Were the first words out of Emily's mouth after she closed the door behind Sam. That caused an expression of bewilderment on Naomi's face since she had expected to be a less then welcome guest.

"Do you want some tea? There's also some doughnuts left over. Shouldn't have bought a whole dozen." Emily smiled gesturing at the open box.

"Tea's fine." Not knowing what to do, Naomi sat down at the table.

"There's something I want to talk to you about." Uh oh, this couldn't be good. Good things don't start like this. Good things start like this: One night, we went out and found a 100 pound drink coupon. Or like this: One night I licked Big Ben. Tastes like pennies.

Well, Naomi still didn't believe Cook he'd actually done that but it was always fun to her him tell the tale, embellishing it with far too many ever-changing details on his quest to get his dick damp. She must've gotten lost in her thoughts for a minute there because when she came back to the as of yet neither comfortable nor uncomfortable - Schrodinger's comfort? - here and now.

"What is it?" she choked out.

Emily seemed to brace herself as if to tell Naomi big news. "Jesus, where do I start?" She ran her hand through her hair as if it would sort the thoughts underneath.

"The beginning would be a start." Naomi smirked as she gained some of her wits back.

"Well duh." Emily smiled back. "Ok, well… you know professor Rivers, my boss." She folded her hands in her lap.

"Sandy fucking slimeball Rivers." That guy hardly had a history of being good news for them.

"Well, as you may or may not know, professor Rivers has a major crush on Robin Scherbatsky."

"Major CrushonRobinScherbatsky." Naomi saluted.

"Christ, you're a dork."

"You mean to say I'm a-dork-able?" apparently her mind had decided that silliness was the best policy. There was no point in fighting it when she got like this, so she decided to embrace it instead.

"That too." Emily admitted barely audibly with a slight bite of her bottom lip. "So, he has that crush… And Robin works in New York, right?"

Naomi nodded.

"To cut the story short he got a gig there and will move to New York."

"Great, one less slimeball in London, one more over the pond." Naomi commented dryly. This was going better than expected. Their easy banter felt like it always had. Maybe not all that was good had changed for the worse.

"Naomi, listen, the thing is." Emily's sombre face promised bad news. "He asked me to come with him."

"Oh, sure, to help him get settled, set up his office. Have fun in New York, have a hot-dog for me,, will you?"

"Permanently." That put an abrupt end to Naomi's chipper mood. The next words sounded unreal, almost like something out of a dream, a bad one.

"Naomi, I'm moving to New York."

* * *

**AN: **Dun-dun-duuuuuun. Doesn't look good for Naomily nor Samily, does it?

You know the drill. Filling that little box down there with your opininon, wishes or just telling me to get my arse writing makes me happy and write faster. =)


	27. Flight

**AN: **Happy Friday everyone! Another update within a week? Looks like I'm on a roll.

Truthfully I wanted to resolve that mean, little cliffhanger I left you with as quickly as I could. That's what your fantastic reviews do to me. A huge thanks for that!

That doesn't mean I won't end this chapter on one as well...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but the typos in this one. The fanny-joke comedienne idea is shamelessly stolen from **mynameislizzie**'s review. Any logical inconsistencies are totally intentional or so I'll pretend.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Thirty-five – Flight**

"What? Why?" Naomi forced herself to not just sit there with her mouth open looking like a gold fish, a very blonde one, admittedly.

"I'm leaving. And frankly, I think it's better that way."

"Why?" Naomi repeated.

"When Sandy first asked me to come with him I took a long, hard look at my life in London. And now I've come to the conclusion that there's nothing really binding me to this city." Emily paused, searching Naomi's gaze. "And Katie's already ecstatic about shopping in NYC." She added, chuckling.

"What about your friends?" What about me? "What about Sam?"

"Sam and I aren't an item."

"You're not?" Just a few short moments ago Naomi would've considered this great news. Now it seemed the opposite. At least maybe a relationship with Sam would've given Emily a reason to stay.

"We're not. Never were. She tried to make a move on me but I couldn't do it."

"Bu-but you looked like you were…"

Emily bit her lip and looked down into her lap abashedly. "I might be to blame for keeping her close in order to make you jealous." She blushed. "Childish, I know. I had her_ hooked_" she used air quotes, "or friendzoned or however you may call it. But nothing ever happened. Not that it matters.

She was on a run.

"Poor Sam though. She's not to blame. She didn't do anything wrong. She just fell for someone who couldn't reciprocate those feelings."

For a moment it felt as if she wasn't just talking about her friend anymore.

"I was stupid enough to think that maybe I was different, that I could be the exception. It's time to cut my losses, don't you think?"

"What?"Naomi's eyes went wide. "Do you mean…"

"I mean I fucking feel way too much for you and try as I might I can't suppress it. So the distance will do me some good."

"When's your flight?"

"I rather not tell you."

"Don't I at least get to say goodbye."

"This, right here." She took Naomi's hands in hers. "is goodbye."

"Why?"

"Cause I can't be sure I'll board that plane if you're close."

Naomi swallowed down a sob and blinked away some tears in a futile attempt to keep it together.

"Don't tell me you give a shit!" Emily smiled looking into her eyes. "Naomi Campbell gives a shit about me!" She exclaimed with a bittersweet grin.

"I always did." She sobbed. Now hugging Emily close to and holding onto her shoulders as if this type of physical restraint would keep her from leaving.

"I know." Emily was crying as well now, her tone of voice saying what her words didn't : "I see right through you."

After a long moment of silence between the two, still engulfed in their embrace, she broke the silence.

"I've got another confession to make." She paused. "I found your rules. I know about number seven."

"Oh." Naomi's mouth stood open now.

"I know it goes against everything you believe in to fall in love, to give yourself to one person, and that's ok. You never gave me any illusions about that." She swallowed, trying to seem coherent through the tears. "But I can't keep on torturing myself. I gotta move on."

She closed her eyes, Naomi followed suit immediately, and placed a kiss on her lips, nothing sexual, nothing rough or passionate. It was so gentle it was barely palpable yet loaded with emotion.

It spoke of pain, of care, of love. Of everything that couldn't - mustn't - be put into words.

"Do me a favour?" Emily's voice was shaking as she spoke with her forehead still leaning against Naomi's.

"Anything." Naomi spoke softly, just above a whisper.

"Can you walk out while I keep my eyes closed? I don't think I can stand to see you leave."

Naomi answered her with another kiss putting all her emotions into it. This was goodbye. And - there was no way of sugar-coating it - it sucked.

Her legs were trembling when she finally got up after taking a deep breath to gather the strength.

As she reached the door she risked one last look back at Emily who sat there with her eyes closed and her face in her hands.

The door was almost closed when she whispered "I'll miss you".

For a split second when she contemplated running back in and begging Emily to stay, promising her that they can work this out, that their feelings for each other weren't something to flee from.

"Christ, you're pathetic." She told herself after she'd closed the door completely.

And she knew she'd feel even more pathetic if she asked and Emily inevitably denied her.

No, this was it. She'd tried - or at least she wanted to try - and everything went to shit.

She entered the train with slumped shoulders and slouched down on a free seat trying to keep it together, crying on the tube not being something she was eager to do.

After a minute she dug out her wallet and unfolded a little list, her best mate's commentary added to it in a barely legible scrawl.

_**The rules of attraction:**_

_**#1 Bros before hos.**_

_If your wingman needs ya, that's top priority and any girl will have to wait. Plus, you can score brownie points by showing how much you care about people._

_**#2 Dress to get screwed.**_

_ You know what I mean. ;) No more floral patterns._

_**#3 The perfect week.**_

_Once a year, we gotta attempt a perfect week. 7 outta 7. No drawbacks. A wingman-ship is not complete until both partners score a perfect week together._

_**#4 Hospitality**_

_Every year, the first semester parties of the local universities must be attended to welcome the fresh meat. No excuses._

_**#5 No sloppy seconds.**_

_ Ya know, if your bro already had her, don't do her. Or if you must, at least ask real nicely. _

_**#6 Don't get lazy. **_

_Fridays and Saturdays are reserved for your wingman. You might get to take a rain check once a trimester if all parties agree on it._

_**#7 Don't fall in love. Ever.**_

_Let's face it, that shit makes everything unnecessarily complicated. A wingman that falls in love automatically loses his wingman status. _

_**#8 No eye-contact during threesomes.**_

_ Don't tell anyone, but I'm willing to let that one slide. ;) _

_**#9 Awesomeness.**_

_ If we get sad, we gotta stop being sad and be awesome instead. Lose that scowl, Blondie._

_**#10 Secrecy.**_

_These rules remain between the wingmen and must under no circumstances be disclosed to a possible target._

"Fucking number seven." She cursed under her breath receiving a strange look from the woman next to her.

Naomi didn't even care to think about how Emily had managed to get a hold of the list. The consequences of it were too severe.

She kept staring at the list cursing it some more, silently this time.

When she finally arrived at home she was completely exhausted from the emotional turmoil she had been trying to keep under wraps on her way there. Face-down, she collapsed on her bed as she gave up all attempts at holding her tears at bay.

"You're too fucking late, you fucking knobhead." She murmured into the mattress in frustration while pounding her fist into it with every word.

"Oi Blondie! Since when is it ok not to greet ya honey when ya're home?" Cook came bursting through the door his grin quickly replaced by an expression of concern as he took in the scene.

"Fook, what happened?" he rushed over to the bed and laid down next to Naomi pulling her into his arms.

"It's Emily. She's…" Naomi sobbed barely able to breathe from crying so hard. "She's leaving."

"What?"

"She's moving to New York. It's all my fault." She choked out.

It was clear that Cook had recognized the severity of the situation because his next course of action was not to suggest his cure-all: going out and finding someone shagable.

He held her tight, let her cry into his chest until she had no tears left and then went to make her some tea. When he felt like she was calm enough he broke the silence.

"What are we gon' do about it?

"You mean what am I gonna do?!" Naomi shrugged. "Well, since my life obviously has a very bleak sense of humour maybe I'll start a fruitless career as a stand-up comedienne."

"Ya could start with your infamous fanny jokes."

"Christ, that only happens when I'm forced to drink fucking tequila." Naomi shook her head but chuckled at his remark nonetheless.

"A girl after my own heart." He clinked his teacup to hers. "Seriously though, how do we make Emily stay?"

"We don't." Naomi stated definitely. "She doesn't even want me to come say goodbye at the airport." She broke out into another crying fit.

"Then we go anyway."

"I doubt she's gonna tell either of us when her flight departs. And she'll swear her friends to secrecy. She's not stupid, Cook."

In fact, Emily was very smart, it was one of the first things she had found intriguing about her when she first came into her life.

"That's fooked up!" He got up angrily. "Emilio has to say goodbye to the cookie monster!"

"How about you figure that out in your room while I wallow in self-pity here?"

"Alright, I'll leave ya alone for a bit. But ya gotta call me if ya need some cookie comfort."

"Ok."

"Promise!" He demanded on his way out.

"Promise."

"That's what I like to hear."

When he closed the door, Naomi instantly felt lonely. But then again, that seemed only fitting. She felt like she needed to be pathetic a bit, to fall apart so she could rebuild herself.

In need of a distraction she put on a film but soon realized she was following none of the plot. Instead, she felt her eyes closing from the emotional exhaustion of the day and gave in to it falling asleep sitting in a weird position that was sure to give her a nice bit of back pain when she woke.

"GRACE PERIOD'S OVER!" Cook came storming into the room as it was his annoying habit.

"Where's the fucking fire?" Naomi asked grouchily.

"Cookie's patented cheer-up programme has been activated. You're sad. And number nine says stop being sad and be awesome instead."

"Where's your fucking off-switch?"

"Ya know Cookie got not off-switch." He put his hands under his suspender letting them go with an audible plop.

"Ok, what's the plan?" Naomi knew there was no point in arguing with him when he got like this.

"Ay, no tellin'" he smiled at her "Ya just get yourself ready to go out and ya'll see soon enough."

Cook's self-proclaimed cheer-up programme had already succeeded in one way: By piquing her curiosity and so she got up and reluctantly put on some clothes she deemed suitable for a night out on the prowl - chances were that was her best mate's plan all along.

"Ok, I'm ready! Now tell me where we're going."

"Nah, no spoiling the surprise." He announced. "Now come on, your carriage awaits."

The sight that greeted them at the curb wasn't a carriage but Naomi had expected it about as much as one.

"You got us a fucking limo?" Naomi asked incredulously, then her expression changed suddenly. "Oh no, please tell me you didn't steal this one." She all but pleaded.

"Don't ya worry ya pretty head, it's all nice and legal. My limo guy got me a good deal. The guy that was gonna rent this one got left at the altar."

"He dodged a bullet there, huh?"

"Yup. Good for him and good for us. Now get in before I freeze my balls off." He got in quickly after her commenting: "I do feel sorry for our pal though. Just-got-married sex is fookin ace!"

"Shut up, you've never been married." Naomi scoffed. "In fact, you'd rather chop your left ball off than swear yourself to monogamy."

"Ya're damn right I've never been. But some of my shags have." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I'm very happy for you but now tell me where we're going!" Naomi demanded.

"Wherever Ranjit takes us! And since we don't have to drive I got us a little something to get this party started." He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of vodka pouring two glasses. "By the way, there's also a case of beer in the trunk. And I got us this." Cook waved a huge blunt in front of her face.

"So we're gonna drive around town getting stoned and bladdered?"

"That's the plan."

"I fucking love you." She leaned over in her seat to give him a hug.

"Cookie's always got ya back, Blondie."

"I know." She kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"Ya're welcome."

The night was a blur with both of them very eager to get drunk quickly and forget about the day.

"I'm so fuckin' pissed." Naomi announced as if that were an achievement to congratulate her on.

"What did I do this time?"

"No, I mean pissed as in drunk. Not pissed off."

"Oh, in that case I'm gonna suggest the same cure." He pulled out the blunt they had decided to save for later giving her his mischievous signature grin.

Naomi took it out of his hands and lit it knowing that Ranjit would let them get away with anything.

"Just what I needed." She commented nasally.

"I figured." Cook exhaled through a smile. "And tomorrow it's laser tag time."

It turns out Cook had only taken about an hour to come up with plans for an entire week full of activities. They played laser-tag, had a go-cart race with Naomi beating Cook even though she had made him promise not to let her win and Cook even found an indoor mini golf place knowing it was her favourite thing to do as a kid. The course was lit in UV-light only with art in fluorescent colours all over the walls and ceiling.

"Good thing I put on fresh pants for the occasion or ya'd see how much fun I had lately." Cook commented standing under one of the light bulbs. Truthfully, I had been over a week - an eternity in Cook's mind - since he got laid but he didn't mind making that sacrifice for the person that meant the most to him in this world, along with his brother.

Naomi found that knowing her best mate had planned something special every day made it immensely easier for her to get up. For all she knew, Emily might as well be in New York and she could not deny that she missed her even though things hadn't been ideal lately. Still, with something to look forward too, she started her days much more optimistic than she would've deemed possible.

"So, what do you have in store for us tonight?" She asked as she got ready for work.

"Movies."

"That's it?" She raised her eyebrows. "Just movies."

"Nah, horror movies."

On any given day, Cook wouldn't have been caught dead watching a scary movie. He was a real baby that way.

"Really? Won't you get nightmares?"

"Nah, I'll just find someone to keep me company at night." He winked.

They were about halfway through the movie - Naomi's pick - and Cook was doing a good job at keeping it cool. Naomi would've expected him to grab onto her arm hard enough to leave a mark when the first person got decapitated. Instead, he barely flinched.

A few minutes later his phone vibrated and lit up the space around them after he'd pulled it out of his pocket.

"Fuckin hell, can't this wait?" Naomi complained as he read the text.

"No." He answered in a determined tone and grabbed her arm. "We're leaving."

He basically pulled her out of her seat and the auditorium, people complaining left and right about them blocking the view. It wasn't before they were outside the cinema with Cook hailing a cab that Naomi got over her bewilderment enough to ask.

"What the fuck was that? Where are you taking us?"

"Heathrow airport." Cook instructed the driver after pulling Naomi into the car with him. "20 bucks for every red light you pass."

"What do you mean she's not even coming to see you off? Who does that bitch think she is?" Katie was furious. They were just hauling Emily's suitcases out of Effy's car when she asked where they'd meet up with Naomi.

"She's not coming because I asked her not to. So fucking shut up."

"Bloody hell, someone's in a right mood." Katie commented. "I'd be fucking over the moon if I were off to where you are."

"Maybe I'd enjoy it more if you weren't getting on my nerves so much."

They went inside and checked the luggage and sat down to wait until Emily absolutely had to go through security.

Given this time to think, she realised she was gonna miss her sister more than she'd like to admit and didn't want to spend their last minutes together in angry silence. From now on they'd only see each other for brief visits during Christmas and maybe for the occasional birthday.

"Emsy shum." She started in their secret twin language. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Kay."

"I'm sorry I was being a bitch."

"You two will come and visit me a lot, right?" Emily asked looking Effy and Katie in the eyes.

Effy silently placed her hand atop Emily's which were nervously playing with her passport.

"Don't worry, you won't get rid of us that easily." Katie added.

Looking at her watch she sighed. "Looks like it's time for me to go."

"No tears, yeah?" Effy asked.

"No. But I'll miss you guys." Emily put her arms around her two best friends in the world hugging them both close to her at the same time and couldn't help but tear up a little despite her promise.

Effy held her breath looking around nervously as Emily queued for the security check.

It's not too late yet. There's still time.

The queue got shorter at surprising speed. Why can't they pull that off when you're actually in a hurry?

Not too late yet.

There were still three people before her. And still no sign of them.

Not too late yet.

It was Emily's turn. She put her carry-on bag on the conveyor and walked through the scanner.

Effy closed her eyes for a second as if that would stop time.

When she opened them again she saw she'd been hoping for: Naomi and Cook were running towards them.

Too late?

* * *

**AN: **Well, was it? We'll never know. Until next chapter, that is.

A little heads-up: This story is slowly but surely nearing its end but I've got a few more chapters in me.

Thanks for reading so far. Reviews are very welcome, as always.


	28. Crossroads

**AN: **I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

I never meant to keep you on that mean little cliffhanger for so long. Please accept my apologies for that.

Big thanks to everyone who reviewed (seriously, over 300 reviews, are you guys fucking nuts in the most wonderful sense? YES, you are!) and a special thank you to **LilyCanBeMyPyjamas** for urging me to update already.

This is a bit short but it should answer the most urgent questions. Hope you guys like it...

Special credit also goes to **FClydEN** for suggesting a line from a song a few months ago. We're finally at the part where I wanted to incorporate it in the story.

On a completely unrelated note, I saw all 4 Hunger Games movies in a row last weekend and can only recommend the experience.

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, I totally own Skins. Nah, just checking if anybody reads this bollocks.

In other news, what I describe is definitely not how airport security works in Heathrow. Also, the timeline might be way off by now. All inconsistencies are a product of me doing whatever the fuck I want.

Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

**Thirty-six – Crossroads**

"Hands down, out of the shit-ton of crappy ideas you've had in the years we've known each other this had got to be among the top five."

"Don't ya go dissing my plan! It's fookin' brilliant." He started gesturing wildly in the cab as he explained his idea. "We get there, ya tell Emily to stay. Emily stays. Voila, foolproof."

"More like it'll proof me a fool." She ran her hand through her hair and sighed. "Damn, she's gonna be so angry with me." She muttered under her breath.

"Why would Emilio be angry with ya? She fookin loves ya!" Naomi shot him a pointed look at that. "Loves ya as a friend, I mean."

"She fucking asked me not to come. I wanted to respect that!" She yelled but quickly realised it wasn't Cook she was angry at. It was herself. And after all she was glad to get this second chance at convincing Emily to stay. Because if these last days had been good for one thing besides confirming that Cook was her best friend for a reason it was that she had gotten a taste of life with Emily gone and she hadn't liked it one bit. "I'm not even sure we ever really were friends." She added.

"Sure ya were!" Cook protested.

"Not really… If you think about it. At first, I was only a little science project to her. And she was a challenge for me. And then… I don't know what we were then… but friends doesn't seem to be the right word for it."

"So what are ya gonna say to make 'er stay?"

"Fuck. I got no idea."

"Ya know what, Naomikins." He put his hands on her thigh just above her knee and squeezed gently. "Doesn't matter what ya say just make sure she stays."

"Easier said." Naomi sighed.

"Whatever ya're gonna say ya better decide now cause we're there." Cook left a crumpled pound note in the taxi driver's open palm and pulled Naomi towards the entrance of the airport building.

They ran inside, quickly finding Effy and Katie. But not Emily.

"Hurry up! She's almost through!" Effy yelled at them and indeed, Naomi located Emily in the ground just as she was stepping through the scanner.

"What took you so long?" Katie added as they came to a halt next to them.

"Bad time for this discussion." Effy effectively shut her up.

"Fuck, what do we do?" Naomi asked looking around agitatedly.

"I'll distract them!" Cook wheezed. "Ya go get ya bird and try not to get tased."

Driven by the need to act immediately, Naomi followed suit and sprinted towards the security checkpoint ignoring the huffing from the queuing passengers at her running past them.

Beep beep beep.

"Shit." Emily commented under her breath. The stupid scanner always - bloody always - had to beep when she went through it.

"You might wanna take off that belt, madam." The officer addressed her.

"Great. Of course I forgot that.

"I could help you with that."

Emily turned around not believing her ears but her eyes confirmed it: There stood Naomi, seeming somewhat out of breath but sporting a cheeky grin.

"You came." She commented with her mouth slightly opened in astonishment.

"Yeah, I did." Naomi nervously scratched the back of her neck.

"Even though I told you not to."

"You said you might not leave if I come here… But the thing is… I don't want you to leave." Naomi admitted.

"Naomi, please don't do this. I'm sick of games." Emily pleaded.

"I'm not playing." She took Emily's hands in hers aware of the onlookers but not caring about them at all. This was important. Emily was important. "I mean it."

"Christ, Naomi, what are you even asking of me? I can't just give up on this because you come here in a last minute's panic."

"That's not what this is. You are special. I want you in my life. Fuck knows how you do it but you change me and I like it. I've broken every rule that makes me who I am."

"Every rule?" Emily was leaning her forehead against Naomi's and locked eyes with her searching for an answer. She felt a slight nod and a whisper so silent she wasn't entirely sure it was even real.

"Every rule." She watched as a tear formed in Naomi's eye and slowly rolled down her cheek. "Please don't leave."

"Naomi, you have to understand… I can't do this." Emily shook her head. "I mean it's not that easy. You can't just storm into here, tell me to stay and expect me to listen." She took her hands out of Naomi's to remove her belt and put it on the conveyor.

"Just so you know, I won't give up!" Naomi announced determinedly as she watched Emily go through the scanner once more, this time without a beep to buy her more time. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Emily Fitch!" The last thing was screamed over the heads of other passengers streaming in. "Mark my words. It's a promise!"

Once Emily was out of sight and Naomi was sure she wasn't going to turn around she went back to find Effy and Katie.

"How did it go?" Katie asked.

"You don't see your sister anywhere near me, do you, Katiekins?" Naomi shrugged. "So it's safe to say I couldn't stop her. Where's Cook anyway?"

Effy started to snicker at that and then commented "Got arrested."

"Bloody tosser pulled down his pants and showed everyone his junk to distract them." Katie elaborated.

"Not a new sight for you, is it?"

Naomi glanced around and saw her best mate being escorted by two bulky officers with his hands zip-tied behind his back.

She ran up to meet him. "What the fuck, Cook?"

"Did it work?"

"Too early to tell." Naomi half-smiled. "Listen, officer, I know he's a right tosser but he never meant nobody harm, can't you just let him go?"

"We'll have to check his identity and get some paperwork done."

"Can I come with you?" Naomi knew that being the way he was Cook would find a way to get himself into even more trouble. It couldn't be said that he'd ever made a habit of playing well with the authorities.

"Ok, I'll allow it." The grumpy-looking man mumbled. "But talk some sense into your boyfriend or next time you could be picking him from jail."

"Thank you, sir. And he's not my boyfriend, thank fuck." All four of them smiled at that.

"But I'd still go to jail for ya!" Cook announced. "That's the dream!"

* * *

It took all her willpower but Emily forced herself to board the plane and not look back at Naomi. She felt like she was acting on autopilot as she pulled her carry-on trolley through the airport halls. When she finally found her seat on the plane - by the window not because she was keen on a nice view but so she could sleep without having to get up for other people's bathroom breaks - she let out a deep breath. All she had to do now was stay awake for the security instructions, pop a sleeping pill and wake up in New York; A new city in a new country thousands of miles away from Naomi.

She made a deal with herself to avoid thinking of Naomi. Only pain awaited her at the end of that road. That's why she had to be strong, to keep going on her journey and start anew. In hopes of a distraction, she opened the newspaper she had brought with her and began looking through it without really reading any of the articles.

"Excuse me, are you gonna do the crossword puzzle?"

"Er, what?" She looked up irritated to the man sitting next to her, the soft look in his eyes instantly calming her.

"The crossword puzzle." He pointed at the paper in her hand. "I'd like to try a British one. See if they're different."

Given that hint, Emily recognized his American accent.

"Have at it." She pulled out the page with the and handed it over to him. "But if there's a ukulele in it you owe me a drink." She joked.

"You know why they use that so often?"

"For the Us." The both answered in unison.

"Well, I hope you find one cause I can really use a drink." Emily added under her breath.

"Thanks."

Emily forced herself to read every single article in the paper to keep her mind occupied. Naomi's last minute entrance at the airport had her too agitated to read the book she had bought specifically for the flight.

"Is a Bloody Mary ok?" Her neighbour shook her from her thoughts as she was staring blankly at the page without actually reading. "I found a ukulele." He smiled at her.

"Oh, yeah thanks." She accepted the drink. "You didn't really have to do this, you know."

"I did. I was honour-bound." He smiled at her warmly. "Plus you really seem to need it."

"You heard that, huh?" Emily looked down playing with the straw nervously. "What brought you to London?" She was more comfortable talking about him than her reasons to get intoxicated.

"My friend." He grinned to himself. "He just decided we needed to try a new terrain. You wouldn't believe the stories we've lived through."

"Feel free to try me." She smiled after taking a long sip.

"Ok, so you know British accents are basically guaranteed to get you laid in the US, right?" He jumped at the opportunity to tell her more. "So Barney has this theory that it works the other way around, too. And before I could even begin to protest he's booked us tickets and we're on a plane."

"Where is this Barney then?" Emily checked the seat next to the stranger and saw an elderly lady, hardly fitting the description she just heard.

"Oh, he's in first class. Talked his way into an upgrade."

"Not bad." Emily chuckled.

"Yeah, he can be very persuasive." The stranger smiled. "Believe it or not he even made a book with tricks to get women to sleep with him. And it works."

"I think I know the type." Emily smiled in spite of herself. Running away wasn't going well at all. "So, you're what, his player sidekick."

"We prefer the term wingman. And I'm not really playing myself. I just wanna find the one."

She couldn't help but think of how Naomi would've reacted to hearing someone use such cheesy terminology. Probably by telling her not to get any funny ideas.

"Well, that's not an easy feat, is it?"

"No." He sighed. "But you wanna know what keeps me going?" The question was rhetorical. The man definitely liked hearing himself talk. Not that Emily minded some noise to drown out her heavy thoughts. "I picture myself as an old man, grey hair and everything, sitting the kids down in front of the chimney and telling them the story of how I met their mother." His eyes got a dreamy look as he spoke.

"That actually sounds beautiful." She commented. "I wanna find the one too."

"You will. We both will."

"I just hope I haven't already. Cause then I just blew my chance." She couldn't help but tear up a little. Emily barely managed to keep from full-on crying in an airplane talking to a stranger.

"It's ok." The man tentatively put his hand on hers. "You'll find him."

"Her." She corrected, a bit nervous he wouldn't like her anymore now. It was an old habit, this fear of being rejected for her sexuality. But old habits die hard.

"Ok, her then." He gave her a small smile as he handed her a tissue to dry her eyes.

* * *

A few hours later Naomi and Cook arrived at the flat, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of their day.

"This is the last time I save your sorry arse from trouble with the authorities." Naomi chastised.

"I was just doing it for ya!" Cook defended. "How about we go downstairs for a-"

"I'm hardly in the mood for a shag now, Cook."

"I was gonna suggest a drink. Did ya really think I'd take you out on the prowl after what happened with Emilio?"

"You know what?" Naomi put her arm around his shoulder. "Maybe I should give you more credit. I could really use a drink or ten."

The two of them made their way downstairs and instead of their usual spot sat down on stools by the bar. Cook carefully avoided the topic of Emily and also tried not to comment on the female patrons too much knowing that his best mate was in anything but the right mind-set for his shenanigans.

"Fookin hell!" He almost spat out his lager when he looked toward the door.

"With that reaction this better be an eight or higher." Naomi commented.

"Still using the old rating system, I take it." Freddie McClair greeted them as if they all were good friends.

"Effy's not here." Cook stepped between him and Naomi protectively. "And in case ya didn't get the message last time she's not too keen on seeing ya."

"I'm not here for her."

"Why are you even here?" Naomi interjected. "I mean, how do you know where to find us?"

"I'm here for you." Freddie kept talking to Cook, then turned to Naomi. "We used to always come here."

"Until you didn't." She commented.

"What do ya want from me?"

"Catch up. Have a pint. Have two. Get laid."

"Oh my god, you're serious." Naomi laughed.

"Listen, Freds, ya can't just up and leave without any notice and then show up here and expect me to be ya bro again like noothin' even happened."

"You know what's a tell-tale sign that you're being a massive tosser?" Naomi piped up. "When Cook is being more reasonable than you."

"Ok, I'm obviously not very welcome, so I won't continue your little date here." Freddie said without malice and left after adding "Call me if you change your mind."

"Christ, what a prick." Naomi said just when he was out of earshot.

"Yeah, let's not worry about him." He decided Naomi was properly intoxicated now for him to ask what had been weighing on his mind ever since they left the airport. "Speaking of worry, don't get me wrong but I would've expected ya to be in a right huff after today. You know… with her."

"With Emily. You can say the actual name, Cook." Naomi smiled which confused him even more. "Let's just say I have a plan."

"Brilliant!" Cook grinned, clapping his hands against his thighs. "What's the plan?"

"I heard New York's a fantastic place to spend Christmas."

* * *

**AN: **So, arrogantly assuming that you're not too mad at me for taking 3 weeks to update, may I ask for a review?

It might help shorten the wait for the next one, just saying. ;)

Either way, enjoy your weekend and drop me a line or two if you feel like it. Thanks for reading.


	29. First time in New York

**AN: **Hi everyone!

I know, I know, it's been ages... The only excuse I have is my new job which is awesome but rather time consuming compared to uni. So I'm afraid the times of at least somewhat regular updates are over for now but I promise to give this story the attention it deserves and not rush it to the end just to get it done. I think I owe that to you awesome readers as well as myself.

That being said, thanks to every single person who waited for this update and especially to those who left a review/follow/favourite. It's a brilliant feeling to receive those emails.

The good news is this little comeback chapter is actually a bit longer than my usual ones and after rewriting it quite a bit with the help of the awesome **Fitcherella**, I'm rather happy with it. I hope you people agree.

Also, merry whatever-you're-celebrating-or-not-these-days to everyone!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Skins or anything but the typos in this one.

* * *

**Thirty-seven – First time in New York**

"Great plan, Blondie!" Cook grinned. "When's our flight?"

"No." Naomi shook her head. "This isn't your business."

"I thought ya'd know this by now." He put his arm around her shoulder. "Ya business is my business. That applies especially to Emilio."

"Cookie, I appreciate the effort, really. But your place is here. I got no way of knowing how long I'll be. And I plan on staying however long it takes. You're needed here. Look at Paddy! He'd miss you like crazy."

"Yeah, and I'd miss Eff."

"Eff? Is that who you've been texting all the time when you thought I wasn't paying attention?"

"Yeah, we've been… texting a bit." Cook scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"And other stuff!?" Naomi more stated than asked.

"There might've been the occasional shag." He grinned.

"See? You have a good time here, take care of Paddy while I sort things out with Emily, ok?"

"Ok." He conceded. "Under one condition."

"Shoot."

"Cookie drives you to the airport."

"Wouldn't have it any other way, you silly cheese ball." Naomi playfully punched him in the arm.

It was a week later when Cook and Naomi said their goodbyes at the airport. Effy had come with them so Cook wouldn't have to drive back home alone.

After releasing his best mate from a minute-long bear hug, he started turning his pockets inside out obviously in urgent search for something.

"Cookie, I gotta go."

"Yeah, I know, just one thing." He finally found what he'd been looking for and pushed a rolled-up bundle of dollar notes into the hands of Naomi who looked at it in disbelief.

"Christ, are those hundreds?" She gave him an incredulous look. "Those are real, aren't they?"

"Yeah. Ya know I always keep a little reserve just in case."

"A little reserve." She scoffed. "Those are several thousand bucks."

"You'll need them, New York's expensive. Just call if ya need more."

"Thanks Cookie." She gave him another hug and then walked over to queue for the security check.

"One last thing." She turned around. "This is completely crazy, right?"

"Sometimes ya just gotta do crazy things."

"People in love do that." Effy added.

"Good luck, Blondie!"

And with that, she left.

One thing she hadn't let them know - even though she was pretty sure Effy didn't need telling anyway - was how much she was scared of flying. It had never been a problem cause she'd never had to fly alone. For some reason, the prospect of having a good mate by her side when crashing into her certain death had helped her so far.

"Excuse me, do you remember the exact duration of the flight?" She asked her seat mate in a lame attempt at a distraction. Little did she know she got more than she bargained for. The middle-aged woman obviously didn't have many people in her life willing to listen to her and Naomi was about to find out why. She had twelve cats. Twelve fucking cats. And apparently all of them had fascinating personalities she needed to be informed about. Mr. Piddles liked to sit on the toilet seat at night scaring his owner when she had to use the loo whereas Mrs. Norris - yes, they were all misters and misses, madams, ladies or even sirs - meowed loudly every time any of her feline friends puched something over.

Naomi decided to drown out the endless chattering with booze and ordered an overpriced bloody Mary.

It was then, hours later - she had just ordered her fifth bloody Mary of the flight, the lady beside her still droning on and on about her cats - when she fully realised what Effy had said. She wouldn't mind listening to Emily go on about a dozen cats. In fact, she would love every second of it.

"Fucking hell." Naomi muttered to herself. "Why do you have to be so goddamn right, Stonem?"

She continued to let her thoughts drift to an unpleasant encounter a few days ago…

_Six days earlier._

_"__What the fuck kinda bullshit is that I hear about you flying to New Work?"_

_"__Good morning, Katiekins, fancy seeing you this early in the morning." Naomi commented sarcastically masking her anger at being woken early by the less-charming Fitch twin. "I'm gonna be so bold and assume Cook let you in?"_

_"__Damn right he did."_

_"__To what do I owe the honour?"_

_"__Why the fuck do you wanna go to New York?"_

_"__I need to talk to Emily."_

_"__Well, you had plenty of time for that while she was living in the same fucking city, don't you think?"_

_"__Fair enough." Naomi conceded. "Listen, Katie, I don't see how this is any of your business."_

_"__She's my sister, for fuck's sake!"_

_"__It's not like I'm out to hurt her." For some strange reason, Naomi felt the need to defend herself in front of Katie. _

_"__Are you absolutely fucking sure of that?"_

_"__Yes. I only…" Naomi wasn't really sure how to continue._

_"__You better find out how to end that sentence soon cause I'm only gonna say this once: My sister is happy in New York. She's got a good job, a nice flat, new friends. You're not gonna ruin that for her, or else…"_

_"__Or else what?" Naomi had decided that, Fitch-fierceness or not, she'd take on Katie's wrath if she had to. _

_"__Or else you'll have to answer to me."_

_"__Katie, you have to understand, your sister means a lot to me."_

_"__That's not enough. If you really care about her you'll make sure she's happy. With or without you."_

_"__I do care about her. More than you know." Naomi made sure to look into Katie's eyes as she spoke trying to show how sincere she was. "In fact, I think-"_

_"__Yeah, I know. " Katie interrupted. "Just don't ruin her life, ok?"_

_"__I won't."_

_And with that, Katie had given Naomi her blessing._

* * *

It had been another long day for Emily. She regretted not giving herself more time to get settled in New York before she started work when she accidentally bumped her toe against one of the unpacked boxes for what must've been the twentieth time this week.

She simply hadn't gotten around to unpacking yet. The only time she had allowed herself some free time to unwind was the night after her arrival. Ted - her seat neighbour on the plane - had insisted that she comes out with him and his group of friends for a night at the pub.

After that it had been nothing but work, work, work. Three jobs to afford something resembling life in this city.

And to top it all off her boss Vinnie - the most annoying of her three bosses - refused to pay her on time stating she had been late to work once when in reality he had changed her shift plan and called her at the last minute and it was impossible for her to get there without the small delay.

Emily was tired, simple as that. Almost too tired to answer the door when she heard someone knock on it. Who could it be anyway? It's not like her schedule had allowed her any time to go out and make friends at all. She decided it was probably the neighbour's kids playing pranks on her again and didn't get up.

The fact that the knocking got faster and louder did nothing to help her already critically annoyed mood. She sighed to herself dramatically before she got up.

She almost didn't believe her own eyes when she spotted Naomi through the spyhole in her door. The shock was almost too much for her to actually move and open the door but she had to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her eyes wide in disbelief.

"Just happened to be in the neighbourhood." Naomi shrugged. Before she could say another word, she was tackled by the other girl and engulfed in a fierce hug. Naomi wasn't exactly sure what that meant and where they stood now but once she realised Emily wasn't gonna let go of her waist anytime soon she gathered some courage and kisses the top of her head, her red hair smelling just the way she remembered. Perfect.

"You wanna go inside?" Naomi suggested.

"How about we grab a drink somewhere instead? I really could use it after the day I've had."

Naomi couldn't help but frown at how urgently Emily had tried to keep her on neutral territory. Like she didn't give her enough credit to keep it in her pants for a second.

She tried to push the thought away as they climbed down the stairs and she let herself be lead into a bar about five- minute walk away.

"I'm not here for a quick shag." She blurted out once they'd sat down in a booth and ordered a pitcher.

"What?" Incredulousness was written all over Emily's face. "I didn't say…"

"You didn't have to."

"Well, now that the elephant's in the room… why are you here?"

"I wanted to ask you out." Naomi stated matter-of-fact.

"Like a date?" she used airquotes. "Don't tell me you wanna go ice-skating in Central Park like in one of those cliché 90s chick flicks.

"As if you didn't like those. But I was thinking more along the lines of the classic, dinner and maybe a movie?" Naomi raised her eyebrows in anticipation of Emily's answer.

"Oh." It took her a second to grasp the situation. "But we never…"

"I know." Naomi looked down at the table, suddenly fascinated by the beermat she was fumbling around with. "What can I say other than that I'm a bit slow sometimes?" She laughed nervously as she dared to look up and find Emily's eyes.

"Timing's a bitch, huh?" Emily took the beermat from her fingers and rested her hand on top of them.

"I'm sorry. I should've done this back in London, before it was too late."

Suddenly, Emily got up from the booth.

"They're here!"

"Who?" Naomi asked dumfounded.

"Ted and Barney."

"You already made new friends?" What little hope their exchange had given Naomi was shattered immediately by that piece of information.

"Helloooooo." The taller of the two man approached Naomi. "Have you met Ted?"

"As a matter of fact I haven't. But I know you're Barney." Naomi deducted, something about the way the man talked to her and his suit irritating her.

"Don't tell me I've already slept with you!" Barney.

"You have about as much chance of shagging me as becoming the democratically elected mayor of this city."

"Challenge accepted!" Barney exclaimed. "I knew I wouldn't have forgotten about it if I'd already had you."

"Oh no!" Ted said to Emily.

"What? It's not like he's gonna go through with it." Emily added: "Or is he?"

"I know that look. See? That glint in his eyes? There's no stopping him when he gets that."

"Buckle up, Teddy, a trip to the registration office is in order!" Barney held on to Ted's shoulders from the back and thereby manoeuvred him out of the bar.

"It was nice meeting you!" He yelled from the door.

"Wow, he doesn't waste any time getting down to business, does he?" Naomi commented.

"Kinda reminds me of someone." Emily smiled.

"So, what do you say?" Naomi changed the topic.

"To what?"

"Dinner tomorrow night?"

"Pick me up at seven?"

"You got a deal."

After another drink they decided to call it a night since Emily needed to work early the next day - like every day, Naomi assumed - and they both didn't want to be too tired for their date the next day.

"Can I escort you home?" Naomi asked as they left the pub, still feeling a bit shy about the matter.

"Sure." Emily smiled up at her and grabbed Naomi's hand as they walked.

They talked and joked around, comparing Cook's and Barney's antics until they suddenly - way too quickly - found themselves in front of Emily's door.

"Guess this is me." She smiled nervously.

"I'm looking forward to tomorrow." Naomi smiled back, playing with Emily's hair where it fell on her shoulders.

"See you at seven." Emily leaned up and pulled her into a tight hug, then sighed into her ear. "I really appreciate you coming here."

* * *

"For fuck's sake, Cook, I'm not gonna shag her." Naomi yelled into the phone. "That's not what this is about."

"Right. Cause ya've gone soft on me and now I have to hold auditions for replacement wingmen." His laughter gave away the light-heartedness of the remark.

"Don't tell me you're giving Freddie another go."

"Well, unlike yesterday's sorry arse candidate, his nose doesn't start bleeding when he gets an erection."

"Are you sure it's a good idea?"

"Yeah, we're gonna meet up tomorrow and go out to see if the old team still works."

"Ok, but be careful, yeah?"

"Sure, ya do the same. And have fun not shagging Emilio."

The next evening, Naomi took Emily out. Getting a reservation at such short notice had been a nightmare. For a moment she had felt like Patrick Bateman getting shot down by one fancy place after the other but then she remembered Emily didn't care about fancy places and decided on a nice Italian place that'd be sure to satisfy the little Fitch's appetite for good, homemade pasta.

But how was she supposed to find one at short notice? In her desperation, she went to the only place that came to her mind, the bar where Emily had taken her the night before. It looked like she was lucky as she found Ted sitting in a booth even at this early hour. That guy must have a pretty nice job if it allows him to hang out at a pub this much, she thought to herself.

"Pasta?" Ted laughed in her face after she's told him about her plan. "This is New York, Naomi. And if you're serious about her you'll have to take her on more than just a dinner date."

"Great, what do you suggest, then?"

The look in Ted's eyes good dreamy as he seemed to drift off into a fantasy for a second. "What you need is a super date!" He exclaimed enthusiastically jumping up in his seat while Naomi remained sitting down with her arms crossed.

"And what exactly does such a super date entail?" She asked, the scowl still apparent on her face. "Also, please tell me you're not gonna start singing. Cause you look like you are and there's only so much cheesiness I can take."

"I'll ignore the attitude cause I know how hard it is to find the one. Wendy, get me my yellow legal pad!" He told the waitress.

"Another damn list, Ted?" She rolled her eyes but brought the pad nonetheless.

Ted began scribbling down some notes.

"So the first part is dinner…"

They were almost finished by the time Naomi's phone rang.

"Sorry. Gotta take this. It's Emily." She excused herself and went outside for a minute.

When she got back in, she looked defeated.

"What happened?" Ted asked, concern evident in his voice.

"We can stop planning, it's not gonna work."

"Why?"

"She has to work tomorrow night. Apparently, she only gets the night off when it's raining and the weather forecast changed so now she has to spin signs at that pizza place wearing that stupid cannelloni costume." Naomi felt like crying. Ted's plan had actually given her some optimism which had already been shattered again. "I fucking hate New York."

"Ok, first of all, stop speaking like that or I'm gonna drive you to New Jersey just so you know what to hate." Ted smiled, then enveloped Naomi in a hug despite barely knowing her. "And second, you've come to the right place for a bit of magic."

They sat down again so he could explain his idea.

"A rain dance? You must be shitting me!"

"I get it, I get it, you're sceptical. But it already worked once."

"Yeah, sure."

"It did." Ted defended. "That's how I started dating Robin."

"And where is she now?"

"We broke up." Ted looked down sheepishly as Naomi scoffed. "But that's not the fault of the rain dance! Or the smurf penis!"

"The what?"

"Nevermind." He grabbed her hand and led her up on the roof of the apartment building the bar was in.

"What are you doing?" Naomi asked incredulously.

"We're gonna dance." He started stomping his feet on the floor and clapping his hand on his thighs.

"Ok, this is funny." Naomi commented and gave herself a few minutes to watch and laugh.

"Still funny."

"And noooow it's sad."

"The only sad thing is that you don't care enough about Emily to join." He yelled at her. "Look at the sky! It's getting darker already!"

Naomi had sworn to herself she'd do whatever it takes. So she did.

"Are you sure we're getting the steps right?" She asked after a few minutes, already out of breath.

"It's not so much about the steps. You just have to mean it."

Naomi was sure she's never meant anything as much in her entire life.

A few minutes later - she wasn't sure if the physical exhaustion was playing tricks on her mind - she felt a drop land on her head. And then another.

"Ted?" She asked, needing confirmation for what she's just felt. When she was tackle-hugged and lifted up from behind as the rain got stronger.

"We did it!" He yelled out in excitement.

"And just in time." Naomi checked her golden wristwatch seeing it was already past six.

She quickly got showered at Ted's apartment - which conveniently was situated in the same building as the bar - with no time to go back to the hotel.

"I'll put some clothes you can borrow on the couch!" Ted announced as she went into the bathroom and sure enough, once she got out, there were plenty of women's clothes for her to pick.

"Ted? Are you secretly a drag queen?" She asked as she put on the black dress with silvery stripes she had decided on.

"Those are Robin's." He laughed from his room. "She's my roommate."

"Wow, living with your ex. Can't always be easy."

"We make it work." Ted shrugged but even in her hurry, Naomi could notice that he wasn't entirely happy with them being just friends.

When she was ready, Ted insisted she borrows his bright yellow umbrella so she doesn't ruin her look in the rain. Naomi gave him a long hug and thanked him for all his help.

"Don't mention it." He answered. "Now go get your girl. Good luck."

"Good luck to you, too." She answered and added, just as she was about to close the door. "With Robin."

Naomi got to Emily's place just in time and knocked on her door. "It's raining." She smiled.

"Yeah, no work for me." Emily grinned back.

"We should thank Ted."

"Is it his fault?"

"His and mine." Naomi added as she linked her arm with Emily's and led her to the waiting cab.

"This." Emily was just swallowing the last bit of a rather huge fork-full. "Is fucking delicious."

"I'm glad you like it." Naomi smiled. "Who would've thought Chinese Peruvian fusion actually tasted good?"

They had had a good night so far, good food, a couple of glasses of red wine and easy conversation, nothing too heavy.

Naomi paid the bill and outside a horse-drawn open carriage awaited the two.

"Wow, is that for us?" Emily's eyes were wide with wonder.

"Yep." Naomi felt a sense of pride at being able to cause that grin on her face.

They got in and put a thick blanket over their legs so they wouldn't get cold. Emily quickly rested her head on Naomi's shoulder.

"So, how long are you in New York for?"

"Well, I booked my hotel room until tomorrow for starters. It's costing me an arm and a leg. Wasn't sure if you were gonna tell me to get lost and if I would've listened in that case."

"Oh ok."

"But just so you know." Naomi put her hand on Emily's arm. "I plan on staying however long it takes."

"How long what takes?"

"You'll see when the time comes." She moved her hand to Emily's, then - when she was sure she wouldn't be rejected - she leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Emily's cheek, lingering there for a second.

"Now, let's get going or else we'll miss the grand finale!" She exclaimed grabbing Emily's hand and leading her towards a bridge where they had a nice view over the river and parts of the city.

The grand finale, it turned out, were massive fireworks Ted had promised to arrange for them. Naomi thought to herself that she owed that guy a big gift basket, or a smurf penis, whatever that was. Ted seemed to be into it.

Emily's gaze was transfixed be the bright lights over the city while Naomi found herself mesmerised by the side of the girl beside her. At the very end - it must have been a good ten minute of them standing there, arms around each other - a short message was written in the sky. "E+N" surrounded by a heart.

"That's cheesy." Emily commented with a smile.

"You like cheesy." Naomi stated, looking into her eyes and gathering all her courage and kissed her lips slowly, pouring all her feelings, all the things she didn't dare say out loud, yet knew to be true into the kiss. It felt like the first time all over again.

When they broke apart, Emily let out a small "wow" before suggesting they end the night at her place.

Once more, they found themselves at her front door only this time, Naomi was invited in.

"One thing you have to understand is that it is nearly impossible to find an affordable flat in this godforsaken city." Emily said as she turned the key in the lock.

"I know."

"So please don't judge."

"I won't."

"Ok. But… I mean, my fucking bed folds up and stuff. It's tiny."

"Babe, it's ok." Naomi pushed a strand of hair behind Emily's ear and gave her a short, reassuring peck on the lips.

"Ok." Emily smiled, the gesture and nickname making her feel better instantly. "Here goes."

Emily hadn't lied. The place was tiny. The few belongings she had brought with her seemed to be too much for the small flat despite them being the mere necessities.

"How do you do this?" Naomi asked, fumbling with the mechanism to put the bed down as this was the only place they'd be able to sit. "Ouch!" Apparently, she had found out how as the bed had crashed down noisily and landed on her foot.

"Christ, are you hurt?" Emily rushed to help her.

"Yeah, I'm ok." Naomi sat down on the bed, which gave a loud creaking sound, rubbing her foot. "I just might limp a bit on my way back."

"Do you wanna stay the night?" Emily blurted out. "I… I mean, it's late… and Ithinkitwouldbenice."

"What?"

"I think it would be nice."

"Oh. Well in that case… Looks like I have no choice." Naomi smiled. "I didn't even bring my pyjamas."

"Maybe I could be your pyjamas." Emily grinned.

* * *

**AN:** So how was that? I promise to try and write as often as I can but also not force myself cause that won't turn out good.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy the holiday.

Any thoughts? Reviews would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance.


	30. Great expectations

**AN:** *peeks out from behind rock*

Hi you lovely people,

there are no words for how sorry I am about this being so damn late and also short. It's only 2k words and it took me ages. That's the bad news out of the way.

Now for the good news (if anyone's still interested, that is): It's something. lol There's a bit of development and I am committed as ever to this story. There's a plan that I'm trying to follow.

As for my reasons: Let's just say work is fulfilling and wonderful (seriously) but that means I spend much more time than my contract says in that office and when I do have time, I simply didn't feel like what little I could write was doing you as the awesome community that you are or the characters justice.

I owe some of you reviews and messages. I'll get to that asap.

It feels like maybe I'm getting back into the groove of writing and if you're willing to bear with me while I'm trying to balance my new-fund workaholism (is that a word? I'll make it one!) with writing this and trying to give it the time and attenion it deserves. I'm prone to rushing this anyway but I'll try not to do it too much cause you guys deserve more and frankly, so do I. This story is too dear to me.

Anyway, the worker bee is gonna shut up now and let you get on with reading. Thanks for sticking with me.

Credit for this chapter as well as this fic in general goes to **Fitcherella**. Always.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Skins I'd fund the org I'm working for and send each and every one of you a gift basket for being awesome.

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**Thirty-eight – Great expectations**

Naomi took a deep breath before reaching behind her back to undo the zipper on the back of her - Robin's - dress.

Emily watched and couldn't help licking her lips in anticipation of what was to come. After a few moments she realised Naomi was likely to rip her clothes with her clumsy attempts at getting undressed.

"Let me help."

"Ok, but don't look." Naomi warned.

"Nothing I haven't seen before." Emily whispered as she unzipped the dress and carefully slid the sleeves down her shoulders.

"What was that?" Naomi smiled back at her, only her hand in front of her chest keeping the dress close to her.

"I just meant it's not like I don't know what you look like." Emily bit her lip involuntarily staring down.

"Like what you see, huh?" Naomi quipped.

"Always."

With that, she lunged forwards and pushed Naomi on her back so she was topping her on the small bed. Her now naked neck was far too inviting. After the wine they'd had even the last bit of her inhibitions had vanished, so she covered every inch of skin she could reach in kisses. And there was plenty of naked flesh on display.

Soon, the kisses turned into licking and little bites as she placed her right hand on Naomi's hip while balancing her weight on the other one. She felt a hand on the back of her head pulling her closer until finally her lips met Naomi's. Even though it hadn't even been an hour since they had last kissed it felt like they had been craving this for ages.

When Emily's thigh pushed in between Naomi's legs, she suddenly felt hands on her shoulders pushing her away.

"Emily, I meant what I said." She sighed. "This isn't what I'm here for."

"What if it's what I want?" She countered.

"In that case I'm sorry but as much as I'd want to I can't give you that. Not now." Naomi shook her head, the glossy look in her pale eyes telling Emily there was no point in trying to convince her.

Emily's shoulders dropped at that and she said "Ok then." Adding "Here comes the awkwardness." in her mind.

It was quiet in the little apartment as Naomi went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When she came back out, Emily was still sitting in the same position she had before.

"Can I?" Naomi started but didn't dare complete her request.

"Can you what?" Emily raised her eyebrows in challenge.

"I was thinking later, when you come to bed…" She scratched her neck nervously. "Maybe… I could… help you."

"Help me get undressed?" Emily asked bewilderedly.

"Damn, you're right. I'm sorry. Stupid me. Forget I said anything." Naomi shook her head.

Emily got up wordlessly, her mind going a thousand miles an hour as she brushed her teeth.

When she came back, she sat down cross-legged on the bed where Naomi was lying with her back facing her and gently pushed her hair to the side caressing her shoulder in the process.

"You wanted to help me?" She asked, her voice hoarse with anticipation. This wasn't a quick shag. This might not be like anything they had ever done. And she was scared shitless.

Naomi blinked a few times in disbelief, then quickly sat up and gently pushed her fingers under the hem of Emily's top as she was savouring every moment. Slowly - inch by inch - she lifted the fabric up and finally pulled it over her head.

Naomi had taken off her dress a while ago and was now only in her underwear. She raked her eyes up and down Emily's bra-clad upper body and drank in every inch of her. Unlike other times, her mind wasn't dominated by pure lust and desire. It was more. In a way, she felt as though this was the first time she truly saw Emily.

The air was thick with tension and anticipation.

Naomi leaned forward and pulled Emily closer by her upper arms, then engulfed her in a tender hug with her hand flat on her naked back holding her close to her chest.

"Thank you." She whispered. "I've missed you." She pulled away from the embrace to lean her forehead against Emily's and gently brushed her lips against hers.

"Me too." Naomi felt more than heard the answer whispered against her skin as Emily started kissing her face, then moved down her neck.

She let her fingers slide through red locks and inhaled the scent she had grown so attached to.

She couldn't remember ever desiring someone that much. It was beyond her how this could have happened. But it did. And now she was putty in Emily's hands.

Yet, when she felt a small hand grab hers and lead it down between her legs, she couldn't help but feel like something didn't feel right, like they were about to make a mistake.

"Is it ok if we just go to sleep?" she asked timidly, pulling her hand away and trying to keep the doubt out of her voice.

"Of course."

Emily felt a bit shy after the moment they'd just shared so she turned her back towards Naomi who read the gesture as a sign of rejection and tried to find a position that allowed her to sleep without touching Emily. She had wanted to hold her, to be close without anything sexual happening. But now the mood was gone, an uncomfortable distance between the two women that felt inpenetrable.

After a few minutes of not daring to even breathe properly she let out a frustrated sigh.

The response came immediately. "You ok there, Naoms?"

"Yeah, sorry."

In fact, Naomi was anything but ok. Her mind went into overdrive reliving what had just happened. Try as she might, she couldn't sleep.

"Christ, I can hear you thinking over there, Naoms." Emily broke the silence. "It's ok, you know."

She reached behind her back and grabbed Naomi's arm to place it on her stomach.

"You want me to hold you?" Naomi asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"No, I wanted to ask if I've gained weight." Emily answered sarcastically and gave a small chuckle. An incredibly cute one, in Naomi's opinion. She, in turn, became braver and spread her hand out pressing it against the warm, soft skin.

"Now that you mention it, you do seem thin." She whispered. "I mean, not like you were chubby before or anything." She began to justify her der statement.

"It's just the stress." Emily shrugged. "And I guess being broke doesn't help too much either.

"Ok, I've heard enough." Naomi said with determination. "I'm making you a big pancake breakfast tomorrow. And then we'll order dinner."

"Does that mean you'll still be here tomorrow?" Naomi could hear the smile in Emily's voice before she actually saw it as she turned around.

"I will if you want me to."

"I do. You could sleep here too if you want. For as long as you're in New York. I know the flat's not much but you're welcome here."

Naomi beamed back at her. "Brilliant. It's a breakfast date, then?"

"About that." Emily's features - illuminated by the glow from the streetlights outside - went from a bright smile to a sad frown. "I leave for work at six. So I'm afraid breakfast is off."

"We'll see about that. Let's sleep now, ok?" Naomi cuddled closer and pressed her lips against Emily's forehead.

"Sleep sounds brilliant." Mumbled sleepily.

Naomi could feel her smile against the skin on her neck.

The next morning, as per usual, Emily woke long before sunrise. But not from the sound of her alarm she had grown to loathe but from a clattering coming from the mini kitchen part of her flat.

"Fucking hell, I woke you, didn't I?"

"It's a bit hard to sleep through that noise." Emily smiled, finding a reason to smile despite the ungodly hour. "What are you doing there?"

"Making breakfast of course." Naomi held up a pan. "Pancakes, as promised."

"You're crazy. Making pancakes at what? Half five in the morning?"

"Four actually." Naomi grinned. "In case you haven't noticed I keep my word."

"You do." Emily smiled as she slowly got up and stood beside Naomi. "You're also awfully hard to say no to when you're only wearing knickers and a tee." She cheekily slapped her arse.

"Oi, cheeky!" Naomi grabbed both her wrists and held them tight.

"Let me go!" Emily protested.

"Give me one good reason."

"How about so I can eat my damn pancakes?" Emily smiled cheekily.

"You're lucky you're cute." Naomi let go of her. "Now sit down, breakfast will be ready in five."

"Damn, if those are as yummy as they look I gotta keep you." Emily laughed, licking her lips looking at the food as Naomi poured vast amounts of maple syrup over the stack of pancakes.

Naomi sat down on the bed with the plate on her lap and lifted the fork up to Emily's mouth feeding her a huge bite.

"Wow, those are good. I thought you said you couldn't cook."

"I got many talents." Naomi laughed. "Any you never asked if I could make pancakes." She fed her the next bite.

"Hey!" Emily mumbled, her mouth half full. "That's unfair! You gotta eat too!"

Naomi cut a small bite and ate it too. Emily complied and pretended not to notice how she proceeded to feed her two huge bites for every small one she ate herself.

They spent the morning, or rather late night, feeding each other bites of pancakes with Naomi making sure that Emily ended up eating for two. Finally though, Emily had to go shower and leave for work.

As they said their goodbye at the door, Naomi pulled her into a long hug and whispered. "Hurry back, yeah? I'll miss you."

"I'll do my best." Emily smiled. Neither of them was in denial about the at least 14 hours of work ahead of her though. "You'll be here when I get home, right?

It was that question, the hint of insecurity in Emily voice that destroyed the very last traces of doubt in Naomi's overthinking mind. She had to say it. Now. No more pussy-footing around, no pretending this was anything less than what it was. Which was pretty damn brilliant if you asked her.

She swallowed heavily, her throat suddenly feeling dry.

Emily turned to leave but she pulled her back by the hand, more by the fingertips really as she was in the process of letting go.

There it was, that moment, that point of no return.

"Hey!" Naomi almost yelled at Emily, the excitement getting the best of her. "I…"

Never in her entire life had Naomi felt the need to say these words. Not to anyone but Cook, Paddy or her mum. But Emily was different. She had always been.

Yet Naomi went through the usual stages.

_There's the moment when you think you think it. _

Thinking back, that was embarrassingly early for Naomi. They had been at the bar and Emily had laughed at a lame joke. Naomi was a goner.

_There's the moment you think you know it. _

That was when she had made the decision to fly to New York. She realised this was serious. Emily had stolen her heart and was not likely to give it back anytime.

_There's the moment where you know you know it but you can't yet say it._

That had been when Emily had opened the door for her. Seeing her again made Naomi's heart race and she almost said what it was clearly saying.

_And then there's the moment where you know you know it and you can't keep it in any longer._

"What?" Emily's eyebrows were raised in anticipation.

"Falafel." It slipped out. Not quite what Naomi had been meaning to say.

Naomi was so embarrassed at that that she quickly threw the door shut in a desperate attempt to end the situation.

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**AN:**

Thanks for reading. After all this time.

Yes, that was a Snape reference.

If you can be bothered (even though asking for reviews while underperforming like this is unjustified), your thoughts are more than welcome. Even just to yell at me for taking so long and to get off my lazy arse and update quicker.


	31. Falafel

**AN: **

Hi you lovely people!

I'm sorry sorry sorry!

There are no word to express how sorry I am for this being so terribly late...

This one is short but bittersweet.

I hope it moves the story along enough for my work-induced writer's block to go away.

Hope you guys like it. It's better than nothing, right?

Just a little explanation cause I'm not sure everyone got it (it's sometimes hard to make the stolen Himym jokes work in writing), when Naomi said "Falafel" last chapter that was her chickening out of saying three far more significant words we all know she feels for Emily. Just to be clear.

I owe you guys thank you messages and they will find their way to you soon. PROMISE!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own this. Wish I did.

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**Thirty-nine - Falafel**

"Falafel. What kind of idiot says falafel?" Naomi paced the room, running a cold hand through her hair nervously.

"I don't know but I reckon ya're that kind of idiot." Cook laughed into the phone.

"I didn't call you to make fun of me." Naomi sulked.

"Damn right ya did."

Despite her bad mood, Naomi couldn't help but smile a bit at her best mate's antics.

"Seriously though, what am I gonna do now that I made a complete and utter twat of myself?"

"I say just act like nothin' happened. Emilio won't bite ya head off. Also, it's obvious she falafels you."

"Shut up." Naomi chastised but at the same time her grin grew bigger. "Why do I even talk to you?"

"Beats me." Naomi could almost hear her best mate shrug through the phone. "But I reckon it's cuz ya love me to bits."

"Unfortunately, you're right." She conceded. "So you think I should just go on like I would've done if I hadn't gone and made an idiot of myself?"

"Yup."

"Brilliant." Naomi commented sarcastically. "I'm completely fucked, aren't I?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't wanna be ya right now." He laughed.

"Shut up. I need advice, tosser."

"Ya must be truly desperate to come to me for advice." He was almost bellowing now.

"I am. So help me out, will you."

"Just pretend nothing happened." Cook repeated his advice from earlier.

"Just pretend nothing happened." She kept repeating those same words to herself in a nervous whisper as she sat staring at her phone waiting for Emily to come back.

What if she threw her out? She didn't even mind being out on the cold streets of New York at night. It was the imminent danger of losing Emily that made her shudder as she sat on the fold-out bed staring at her phone every minute.

It was half an hour before Emily was supposed to return that another, even more catastrophic possibility entered her mind attempting to wreak havoc on what was left of her sanity.

What if Emily didn't even return to the flat?

What if she was staying the night at a friend's hoping Naomi would get the message sooner rather than later and leave without a trace? With any luck, that friend would be Ted and he might be able to talk her into returning but that theory was relying on long odds. Naomi buried her face in her hands and sighed.

Suddenly, the flat seemed hot despite the tiny window being open to let in the chilly December air.

She couldn't breathe. This was too much.

Coming to New York only to fuck it up with three stupid, little words. Or rather one stupid word.

"I'm such a fucking idiot." Naomi cursed at herself loudly, not caring if the neighbours could hear her through the paper-thin walls.

"You better watch your mouth." Emily's voice shook her from her thoughts. She stood there with her hands on her waist and a defiant smirk on her face.

"Wha- Come again?" Naomi asked, dumbfounded by the fact she hadn't noticed her come in.

"That's the woman I'm crazy about you're calling an idiot there."

A small smile spread on Naomi's face as she realised what Emily had said. It looked like she hadn't messed things up as badly as she had feared.

"Crazy, huh?" She inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Yup." Emily took off her coat and walked towards her. "Now stop being cheeky and kiss me."

"Your wish is my command." Naomi smiled and buried her hands in red locks pulling her closer.

They shared a long, passionate kiss as Emily put her hands against Naomi's collarbones pushing her to sit down on the bed whispering. "I've been thinking about doing this all day." as she moved her thighs on either side of Naomi's to straddle her.

"A woman after my own heart." Naomi moved her head forward and kissed her passionately pouring all the unsaid - or half-said - feelings into the kiss.

Emily was just about to push her further forward and pour gas into the growing flame between Naomi's legs when the doorbell rang.

"What the fuck?"

"That'll be the food." Naomi got up, grabbing her wallet and walked towards the door.

"You ordered food?" Emily asked. The only thing she craved more than the woman in front of her was a nice supper.

"Possibly." Naomi grinned and opened the door to a smiling delivery guy stuffing a 100 dollar note into his hands adding "Keep the rest."

She walked back towards the bed where Emily was sitting with two huge, brown paper bags in her hands.

Emily couldn't control herself anymore and began unpacking the bags.

"You got pizza!" She grinned.

"Yup."

"And burgers." Emily pulled another box from the bags.

Positive."

"And…" she opened an unmarked plastic container. "And chips!" Emily gave her a huge grin. "Is there anything you didn't get?"

"Well, I did order an entire roasted pig but they refused to carry it up the stairs." Naomi joked.

"This is awesome." Emily talked through a mouthful of burger. "Thanks so much." She scrunched up her eyebrows. "Is it bad that I brought a bit of a snack, too?"

"Ah, don't mention it. I noticed you could use a good meal. What did you bring?"

Emily pulled out a Styrofoam container and passed it over to Naomi who opened it, then broke into a wide grin.

"Falafel." She smiled.

"Falafel indeed." Emily grinned back.

Naomi started fumbling with the lid of the container nervously and stared at her fingers. "Are we ok, then?" She dared a brief look up into Emily's eyes.

"More than." Emily put her hand on Naomi's, effectively calming her down.

They shared a few moments of silence before Naomi burst out: "Ems, why did your sister lie to me and tell me you're doing great here?"

"Did she?" Emily asked, stopping mid-bite.

"Yup, in fact, she warned me not to come."

"Fucking hell, Katie's always interfering." Emily was getting angry before something visibly dawned on her. "Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"I guess she tried to protect me, she always has." Emily stopped, and then added. "In her own way."

"Protect you?"

"Yes. I reckon she wanted to make sure you're serious. So you don't just walk in here and tell me to come home."

"Well, I am serious. And I haven't asked you to come home."

"That's right." Emily picked up a falafel and ate it in one bite.

"I'd like it though." Naomi muttered, not daring to speak loud enough for Emily to actually understand what she was saying.

They shared the food that could've fed a family and ended up just lying on the bed together, finding reasons to touch each other and stealing kisses every now and then as they talked about their days.

Emily was halfway through telling Naomi about what an arse Sandy Rivers was being - not like either of them needed further proof of that - when her phone started vibrating on the bedside table. Naomi ignored it.

"Aren't you gonna take this?"

"Nah, I just wanna lay here and talk to you."

"But what if it's important?"

"They'll call again."

Emily couldn't help but feel flattered by Naomi's undivided attention and continued with her story.

Unfortunately though, Naomi was right. They did call again. She picked up the phone exasperatedly.

"What is it?" Naomi all but growled into the speaker after seeing it was Cook's number. It took only a few seconds for her demeanour to change completely to one of concern rather than anger.

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck." She cursed.

"How's Paddy?"

A few seconds of silence.

"Say no more, I'm coming home."

Emily's face fell as she heard that last part of the conversation before Naomi hang up.

"You're leaving?" She asked, desperately trying not to tear up. Things had seemed to go so well until five minutes ago. She cursed her bad luck.

"I have to." Naomi got up, packing her stuff in a panic.

"Ok, I get it." Emily put her hands on Naomi's upper arms keeping her in one place. "First, calm down, breathe and tell me what happened."

"It's Cook." Naomi breathed out heavily. "Well, it's Paddy. It's both of them really."

"You're not making much sense."

"Their mum died."

Emily instantly cursed herself for getting upset. She didn't know much about Cook's family history but this was clearly an emergency and she'd be mad at Naomi if she didn't fly home to help out her best mate in such a situation.

She helped Naomi pack and called her a taxi to the airport. Emily even offered to come with her but Naomi insisted she had to get some sleep before her next shift and Emily had to admit she did. So they ended up saying their goodbye at the door.

"I'll see you in London." Emily whispered into Naomi's ear and pressed her lips to her cheek.

"Does that mean you don't want me to come back when things are ok?"

"No." Emily shook her head but then bit her lip supressing a smile. "I expect you to pick me up from the airport"

"Come again?" Naomi scrunched her eyebrows in confusion.

"I'm coming back, dummy." She smiled. "Just give me a week to wrap things up here. I'll text you with my flight details."

Naomi's eyes widened in surprise.

"This isn't Goodbye." Emily clarified. "This is See you soon."

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**AN:**

Comments?

Wanna lynch me?

Let me know in the little box.

Thanks so much for sticking with me. I'll try to update more quickly next time.

See you soon, awesome people!


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